lowering standards for experience

glitch0 · 2014-09-29T06:25:17+00:00

I've had a few 4s and 5s as part of the learning process. I didn't really enjoy the experience, but I learned a lot from them and that helped me have success with more attractive women down the line. A lot of training in pickup is fundamentally uncomfortable and unpleasant, it's ok, you do what you need to do in the short term to be successful in the long term.

I don't want to go out infield, but I do it anyway for hundreds of hours a year because it's good for me. Innumerable times I didn't want to approach a girl because I thought she was super meh, I didn't want to meet her friends, I didn't want to escalate on her, I didn't want to qualify her, I didn't want to bounce her home, I didn't want to bang her, but I did it anyway because I knew it'd get me one step closer to that special someone. Think of it as a father who takes a miserable second job to pay the bills for his family: you do what needs to be done.

I'd have a lot less experience if I didn't continuously try to attract women who I consider "below my standards", especially when I was just starting out. I need to do that less now since I don't learn much from it at this point.

It was brutal at first to my ego, since I was actually used to being in long-term relationships with truly beautiful women, but I never had any game. Going from a 9 to girls who are twice your weight is a pretty enlightening growing experience.

caseylul · 2014-09-29T01:16:07+00:00

I would just like to say you made the right decision. Honestly, sex isn't even that great if its not someone you're really excited to have sex with.

I feel like you where I find the best sex comes from girls who are possible girlfriends. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that what all men want in a relationship? Someone who is a pleasure to spend time with, very good looking, and a freek in the sheets. Why have sex with anyone else besides potential candidates.

I am a novice in the seduction skill but I feel like sex that might cause attachment should be towards someone who would be a good SO.

BigSwedenMan · 2014-09-29T03:45:31+00:00

I'd say you made the right decision. As someone who has done that, I agree with your decision for exactly the reasons you listed.

Brendan056 · 2014-09-29T05:22:10+00:00

I think a lot of guys wouldn't have turned her down if in your situation, however if you weren't really feeling it at the time then don't escalate further just for the sake of experience.

HDMinh · 2014-09-29T06:03:38+00:00

I thing that you are an exception in setting the two standards "GF material" and "would have sex" at the same level. But if that works for you, good.

joshsway · 2014-09-29T14:13:24+00:00

Some thoughts:

(1) It takes experience to close, and the more you do it, the better you will become at it. So yes, it will help your game with all women.
(2) Get off your high horse: you are not god's gift to women that the second you sleep with someone she will be all over you and attached and commit suicide when you don't see her again.

blondedre3000 · 2014-09-29T06:22:01+00:00

You gotta do what you feel is right. If you do go through with it in this situation it needs to be implied or verbalized that you're not looking for a girlfriend, etc. so she knows not to get too attached.

insidescoop84 · 2014-09-29T07:23:11+00:00

what makes a girl girlfriend material for you? or better yet, what was it about this girl that made her NOT gf material?

recyclablebantha · 2014-09-29T07:59:35+00:00

Why? Should I have stayed for experience/ fun? I feel as though I couldn't go all out unless it was a girl I really like, and that I'm extremely careful/ picky with who I have sex with in fear of there being some attachment/ commitment from them, to someone I'm not interested with a relationship with.

Do what you feel is best. As long as you are fully aware of why you're turning down opportunities and that it's not because of fear, then you're fine.

Note: This conversation has already been broached this week. It's not pretty when you actively fight to override your preferences out of desperation.

RichieFinn · 2014-09-29T11:33:38+00:00

i wish i was as smart as you....i had sex with one this weekend whos friend i want to get into but im pretty sure i can now rule that out.....oh well!

Good post brother!

GhostShipToInfinity · 2014-09-29T08:48:38+00:00

Hole is a goal m8.

SavageSky · 2014-09-29T17:36:15+00:00

Late to the party but Ill throw in my 2cents. You can get practice by talking with anyone. This is really key. Regardless of who they are/look like, learning how to deal with different types of people very useful and is actually fun. I find myself 10,000x more confident when i'm talking to someone (usually girl) who I have zero interest in. I feel like a superhero (and admittedly a bit of a douche) when it seems like they are drooling over you. But carrying over the experience of feeling confident talking with someone when you meet a person you may actually like is invaluable. But it doesn't have to be some sort of goal. Overall to answer your question more directly, do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you wind up talking with someone, and you actually feel like there is a really good conversation flow ext, then do what comes naturally and go from there.

lespauldude · 2014-09-30T04:05:19+00:00

If you never lowered your standards before, then this could be a good reference experience.

Gibian · 2014-09-29T02:39:04+00:00

YEah , lets go for morbid obese girls bro!

Title	lowering standards for experience
Author	masscollider
Upvotes	32
Comments	27
Date	September 29, 2014 12:48 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2hqu9s/lowering_standards_for_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/lowering-standards-for-experience.1377252 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377252

Comments