Mind goes blank

sebK1 · 2014-04-20T16:14:48+00:00

I have a very simple method. Works like magic.

First, you always want it to be spontaneous and natural, nothing planned or premeditated, that is key, so don't look for ideas inside your head, don't go to your memory for topics, ever. Whenever you wanna talk simply do this: stop focusing on the other person's eyes for a second, and look at the whole place you are in at that very moment, look at the situation around you -including the other person- from a broader perspective, and comment on the very first thing that you find interesting or amusing. Whatever comes to you say it. You are just looking to enjoy yourself making use of everything that is happening then and there, looking at the whole picture, and you keep it including what the other person says. That's all there is.

Don't think about it, thinking just gets in the way. Get into this mindset and the conversation flows naturally and spontaneously, and more importantly you will enjoy it.

dibadee · 2014-04-20T21:29:26+00:00

Questions are inherently needy, like you're needing or getting information out of them. Instead, make assumptions (kinda like cold reading) about them to get the initial conversation going. So things you can assume/guess/comment on are:

Style/clothes
Where they're from
What type of girl they are (party girl/shy type)
Their job (you look like you do something very creative) - if it's something boring like finance/office job tease them on it (wow thats so boring!) but do it with a smile!
The way they were walking/acting (I saw you strutting past, wiggling their hips etc)

This will usually bring up a topic of conversation, and this is the important part, don't miss the topic when it comes! If they say they're an artist, that's the topic, art. If you don't know anything about it, say so, don't pretend to love it just because she does, you can even tease/challenge them on it "Whats so great about art then?" Hopefully the conversation will flow to another topic, but if not then stack another assumption on about something else.

And be honest with them, if you run out of things to say, just say that! "Look I'm a bit nervous and I don't usually do this sort of thing, I've kinda run out of things to say". It's not good game, but its genuine, and girls will love your vulnerability. The nicer ones will then help you out and invest something back into the conversation. And sometimes when I run out of things I just ask for their number "listen I've got to run, but another time I'd love to take you out".

I can post some of my examples of assumptions if you (or anyone) wants.

zzonked7 · 2014-04-20T20:55:21+00:00

When I'm one on one with someone I never really seem to have trouble finding things to say and that hasn't always been natural for me. I can speculate why that is and share with you why if you like. I personally think when people run out of things to talk about it's a problem with security. When you're with your friends conversation is never hard to come by, of course that is in part because you share interests, but it's mostly because you feel comfortable and safe with them. You could meet someone who likes everything you do but still feel uncomfortable around them and have a hard time talking.

To cultivate this sense of security, you just need to become comfortable with letting yourself go. It's a simple idea that can be very difficult to put into practice; stop caring what other people think. Paradoxically, if you stop caring, they'll almost definitely like you more.

Once you have that down to your core, conversations happen a lot more naturally. The progression of the conversation flows better because you're not holding anything back. It becomes a lot easier to find strings to carry on the conversation you're having, so for example they say something about themselves and the unrestricted you can react to whatever strikes you (or the fact that nothing strikes you) about that thing. If you were acting in a way that isn't natural chances are it wont be as interesting. I think that's why conversations can die if you try to respond how it's 'expected' rather than in the way that immediately strikes you as interesting. It also becomes easier to pull threads for new conversations out of nothing, just ask a random question that isn't related to anything they said but is something you're thinking about. Cardboard cutout responses are the most boring thing ever, it's like you're having a conversation with a relative who is asking you about how school is. In fact don't only forget that, forget trying to respond with something 'cool' too. Fuck trying to seem cool, guys who try so hard to do that probably get laid the least. I think it's been said a lot in the seduction community that James Bond would not be the guy who gets laid in real life, it'd be the guy who is more out there.

That's the only advice I can give when it comes to conversations. It would be a lot easier if there was a script, but because there isn't you can only work on yourself.

jackzander · 2014-04-20T16:14:00+00:00

"Let's see... do you have a warrant out for your arrest?"

Girls aren't hard. Just play with them.

urmyheartBeatStopR · 2014-04-20T23:32:46+00:00

You can cold call.

That's one of the few routine I do when I need to transistion.

My other default go to is: What are you guys up to? How's your night going? How have you been?

readonlyuser · 2014-04-21T02:06:21+00:00

Is this daygame?

PUboss · 2014-04-21T05:16:17+00:00

I go through the same thing. My personal remedy is to do a couple of sets and try to get blown out. It is hilarious how bad you can mess up(in your eyes) and still pull. Just like anything, you need to get warmed up first. I can't stress enough how important this is. Your tenth set of the day will be 10x better than your first, I promise.

Necroshade17 · 2014-04-20T20:14:21+00:00

You should totaly check out this speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI&list=TLuHmA0yVZI4BdML_Bu2DoiEEuM4FuqbWE

nivar · 2014-04-20T19:03:03+00:00

search for conversation in /r/seduction there were many useful ideas, also taking some impov classes helps.

if you must have a standard story, or questions that leads to some interesting conversations, maybe some canned materials like opinion question. "My friend girl cheated on with him with her ex-boyfriend should my friend take her back?"

Title	Mind goes blank
Author	bluewerehog
Upvotes	36
Comments	17
Date	April 20, 2014 12:47 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/23i9di/mind_goes_blank/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/mind-goes-blank.1369517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1369517

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