My first time approaching

OpinionThink481 · 2025-11-04T01:35:06+00:00

Good for you that you managed to approach. Now the point and goal of cold approaching is not to get the girl's number, it's to see if there is a connection by getting to know her a little bit for 5mins at least.

Getting a number isn't hard, but it's pointless more often than not without a connection, because most women don't give their number because they like you, they give it as a courtesy.

Many guys are obsessed with trying to get a number because they assume they have to get something from the woman, and it's precisely that mindset of trying to get something from them that causes the rejection from the woman or flaky behavior.

Women need to connect with you to feel excitement about you, to have the energy to see you again. Yeah they can give you a number if you ask straight away, but that doesn't mean they want to see you again.

Guys think with a flawed logic here, they think "if she gives me her number = she is interested in me all i have to do is be good at texting", which fails to recognize that there are more variables such us "giving the number out of pressure, to avoid tension, to be polite,... etc"

Meaning that by the time you text her or call her or whatever, it is irrelevant how you good your texting is or anything because she simply is not interested.

And the guys with their flawed logic don't get how that can be possible because they think 2 + 2 = 4, where a number = interest, when in reality it was never 2 + 2 in the first place, it was more like 2 + (-2 x 22).

Yeah it can feel exciting to get a number, but that's just because it feeds the ego. To feel like you made an accomplishment... "Hey, I did an action and got a result"

This cause and effect linear logic from men is not how women work at all. You have to connect, you have to make her laugh or get her to feel sexual tension, get her to relate to you and you can't do that if you ask for a number straightaway in less than a minute.

It's also bad that you ask for direction and then you tell them that actually you just wanted to hit on her, that's because you are lying to them and admitting you were lying which makes you look bad, because women wonder why not just be honest from the beginning?

And the answer won't be forgiving with you. It just makes them think you were insecure and insecurity turns them off. They can't forgive insecurity. lack of authenticity and dishonesty or any white lies because it already shows a lot about your character, which are all the red flags.

fluxginshanks · 2025-11-04T03:15:40+00:00

Dude you watching too many YouTube videos; that’s what too many of those dudes do with a hidden camera in the background; most of them end up with an instagram or a phone number but .. it just ends there, they can’t close with the same confidence they opened with; switching up reasons mid convo is not reminiscent of someone who knows what they want; it lacks the masculine energy required; you need to show intent from the beginning or carry the conversation a bit before getting a contact which just “so happened to be in your interest “ because you guys had stuff in common

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-11-04T05:24:48+00:00

You must hook the girl before asking for her number. Educate yourself on hook point.

ExtraordinaryBeetles · 2025-11-04T18:56:55+00:00

Approach as if you may never get a yes from approach. You're doing it because it's fun, exciting and there's a chance that something crazy can happen. Eventually you'll get some numbers and eventually you'll fuck someone from it and it will make up for tens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of nos and all the stories that came with them.

Ok-Orange7146 · 2025-11-04T01:40:24+00:00

Nice job approaching. My advice. Think how weak it is to alter your reason for talking to a girl midway in the convo. She’s over here thinking you’re asking for advice, then you change it to you want her number. That’s a weak switch up

You’re young. Learn to be direct with women from the get go. Thats a turn on and sets you apart from these guys who beat around the bush and aren’t honest, because they are scared the girl won’t like them.

Better to find out right away and set the frame in a masculine way.

Better way is to stop her and let her know why you’re talking to her( found her attractive and wanted to say hi). Quick convo then you can close, asking for the number.

ModeoneUk · 2025-11-04T18:41:13+00:00

Dm us bro

TMGP19 · 2025-11-04T01:38:35+00:00

Embracing rejection is a prerequisite to having women in your life. After about 1000+ approaches you will see normal female behavior and how she is on the surface is irrelevant to how the interaction and future is outcomes will play out.

Title	My first time approaching
Author	Legitimate-Buyer5865
Upvotes	14
Comments	8
Date	November 4, 2025 1:03 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ontv84/my_first_time_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-time-approaching.1565542 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565542

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