Need more info on good negs.

EricDisco · 2011-02-01T13:40:51+00:00

Playful teasing is super effective, but I see negs as a bit different than that. Negs can border on playful teasing, but the most effective negs are delivered with some seriousness.

I noticed that with some super attractive women, when I started to talk to them, they automatically assumed I was hitting on them, before I did anything. I could simply ask them for directions, and the bitch shield was already up.

That's because almost everyone treats these women differently than normal. There was a great post a while back on Reddit about what it's like to be a really hot girl. They live in an alternative reality where everyone kisses their ass. When a guy doesn't validate her in this way, all of a sudden this is something new and different to her. She doesn't know how to handle it.

Everyone is geared toward validation. That's where really hot girls are vulnerable. Have you ever posted a comment on Reddit and got a ton of upvotes? How does that feel? What about if you get downvoted to hell? It makes your blood boil a bit, even though there is nothing tangible attached to Karma. Nobody knows you on the internet. Yet it still effects you. Someone out there has given you disapproval and you want to win it back.

If you take away a hot girl's validation while still presenting yourself in friendly way, she automatically starts to work to get it back.

Some negs I've used in the past:

"Hey, do you know if there's a zoo in central park? I get the feeling you spend a lot of time at the zoo."

"I get the feeling you spend a lot of time in the library."

I've even played around with implying that she has a booger. I'll say "Go like this" and wipe my nose. She'll freak out and wipe her nose. (My friend Glenn likes to turn this into a tease and say "I can't believe you fell for that" afterward).

I was hanging out with Brad P and some of his coaches this last weekend and one of the negs they were throwing around is "You strike me as middle of the road conservative." Any girl who considers herself slightly edgy will recoil at this and try to win back your validation by doing exactly what you want her to do: Take more chances. She starts to work to win back your approval.

Another way to look at negging is that you are disqualifying yourself. This seems counter-intuitive, but this is exactly why it works. Most guys around a really hot girl try to show what a great suitor they are and build themselves up. When you disqualify yourself, you are taking away some of her validation because you don't consider her a prospective mate.

The other night on a date with a girl and I told her, "You don't want to date me."

She asked why.

I said, "I'm terrible in bed. I have a tiny penis."

Another great thing to say is to talk about your differences and say "Me and you would never get along." Or "It would never work out with us."

To be honest, negging is not the first skill you want to learn. If you don't know how to be playful and bust on a girl, that's way more important. Learn that first, because it's something you can and should use all the time.

Negging, on the other hand, is one of those things that you use only occasionally so that she doesn't start to feel overvalidated. When hot girls get overvalidated, they see you as a fan rather than a mate.

donkeypunched · 2011-02-01T10:03:36+00:00

Negging is basically the same as teasing. Think of it that way instead of like a put-down. Also, more important than the actual neg is when to properly use it. I used to blow sets because I would neg before I had good comfort/rapport with my target. This is really important. There's no such thing as a perfect neg because you could use one and totally bomb the set and then use the same exact one at a different point in the conversation and have it work wonders. My advice would be to work on opening and building rapport/attraction before concentration on negs. Also, lately I've found myself using disqualifiers more often and in place of negs. When it comes to negging, you can use anything (something she told you, something she's wearing, something about her personality). A good rule of thumb is to not neg a girl about her weight or something she can't change about herself. With that said, here are some examples:

"Oh really, you're from (insert hometown)?" Tease about any bad reputation that place has (stuck up, Nascar/hick town, crime, etc.). Ex: "I've heard about all those robberies there recently. You're not going to invite yourself over to my place and rob me silly, are you?
"Omg what do you need such a huge bag for? I could totally fit in there... Is that for all the phone numbers you've gotten tonight (role reversal - follow up with 'damn you're such a player')?... I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to smuggle 50 lbs of coke into the club."
Classic neg if your target is interrupting you or something similar. "Are you always this rude?...Did you just cut me off again? I'm going to have to give you a time-out/teach you some manners."
One exception to the 'don't poke fun at physical traits rule'. This one is a bit of a classic as well: "Oh you're so adorable; when you laugh your nose wiggles."

As you can see, it's pretty easy to use anything about the girl as a neg and there are tons of variations you can spin off. If she thinks it's funny you can keep peppering in little one-liners to keep the same neg going. If she doesn't think it's funny, you crossed a line or you didn't build enough rapport.

2011-02-01T10:38:27+00:00

A neg is pretty much making fun of her - playfully.

Geaux · 2011-02-01T15:26:56+00:00

You know all those times where people have said something that could be taken "the wrong way" or you immediately think of something witty/jerk-like but decide to play it safe? That's what you should say.

afcanonymous · 2011-02-01T17:17:19+00:00

You don't need negs till you start hitting on girls with social values of 9s and 10s. Work on teasing and kino. It will be far more helpful. The negs will follow when you have enough social calibration to be rude to girls.

Title	Need more info on good negs.
Author	Schattenherz
Upvotes	9
Comments	10
Date	February 1, 2011 9:12 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fczes/need_more_info_on_good_negs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-more-info-on-good-negs.1315161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315161

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