This was just a very good post on why assuming attraction works, written by Brad Branson of RSD, who as you know did an AMA with us earlier this year. A good read for a lazy Sunday.

So before my run to the Coffee shop via the Red Light District, and as I sit here Amstel in hand, I thought I'd answer a question that I'm sure many of you have thought of...

"How can you tell when a girl is attracted to me?"

Well this seems to be the opposite of my great sales copy headline, "The 5 Indicators NOT to Look For..."

Something I started saying back as a bustling young RSD instructor is, "Any sticking point you have is on some level a failure to lead.

Leading the conversation, leading it physically, leading it sexually, leading in the club, leading out of the club.
You must always be leading."

And I still hold true to this. Now, if you are in the interaction with the girl, and you are looking for indicators from her, what does that say about who is leading the interaction?

One of my favorite examples of a guy who is naturally good with women is the "Jersey Guido," or "Italian Macho Man" for all you internationals reading this.

Why are these types of guys naturally good with girls?

The short answer is... Because they are dumb.

Most guys who end up finding about RSD are too smart for their own good. They are talking to the girl, and literally every little action she does is analyzed to the tenth degree.

"Oh my god, she looked at her friend... What does this mean?"

"She didn't answer as quickly as I think she should've, is there attraction?"

The reason I like the Jersey Guido mindset is because they literally have blindspots towards any sort of negative feedback. It's like they have this internal track record in their head playing...

"I'm the boss. I'm the boss. Bitches ain't shit. I'm jacked and tan. Check out my gold chain. Aiiigghtttt!!"

The girl tells him to get away, he thinks:

"Nice, playing hard to get. Gold chain. I'm the boss. Tan as fuck. Do it up."

Everything is perceived as them being awesome. This headspace is what ultimately led me to the extreme self love mindset, which I've talked about in other emails.

So how do we cultivate this mindset?

Game blind!

Social dynamics is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and if you start trying to react to every single thing that happens in an interaction, you aren't going to get anywhere.

You can't calibrate to the girl.

Life is a positive reframe.

You initially approach the girl, and she is a little unreceptive. It's not that she isn't into you, it's because she is shy.

I had an assistant out with me a few days ago and he said:

"Dude, that girl totally checked you out!"

My response:

"They all do."

Is this delusional?

Well yeah. But perception is reality.

One of my favorite quotes is by none other than Shakespeare himself, paraphrased:

"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

It's your perception of a situation that makes it good or bad, so why not always view it as the best.

So yes, you don't want to react to what the girl does, but there is some form of calibration.

Basically the only thing I am calibrating is how direct I need to go, but I am always moving forward.

It's like you are channeling a river downstream, but always going down stream. Or mining for gold is another analogy I'll use.

Basically I am always trying to push things forward, mining different locations for a new gold deposit.

There is a multitude of different ways to move things forward, to increase the level of directness and escalate.

Your tone of voice, the words you use, how physical you get, how close you are to the girl, how strong your eye contact is...

These all convey different levels of directness and can move the interaction forward.

Think about a side hug compared to hugging the girl straight on, one is more direct than the other.

So if I go in to hug the girl, and she is initially unreceptive, I can still lead the conversation, move it in a sexual direction, and transition into being more direct by just cutting the space instead of trying to escalate physically.

This becomes important if you meet a girl during the day, or for whatever reason she is more conservative or shy.

But the other side of things is true as well. You always have to be moving the interaction forward AHEAD of the girl.

If you go in and she is SUPER receptive, and gives you the "kiss me" eyes right away, if you miss that window, it usually never reopens.

So push things forward quick and at a fast pace. Don't go in, get the kiss, start grinding, and then ask:

"Where are you from?"

Even though the conversation started off at a higher energy level than if you had just started talking normally, when she feels that drop, it feels like the conversation is dying down.

How to deal with this?

Move her to a new location, and then transition into normal conversation. The shift in location makes it more natural for a shift to a new energy level.