I try not to incorporate too much emotion into this but it’s a little hard not to.

NOW before you read this. Pay CLOSE attention. I DO NOT I MEAN DO NOT mean leading the girl on and pretending I’m someone I’m not. I never lie about my intentions.

But I don’t view girls as potential romantic partners. I view them as a goal. Sort of like “Ok I completed this level, now what”

I don’t want love. I don’t want affection. I literally look at this as simply win or lose. Is this girl high value? Awesome, I did it, now lets add her to the rotation.

Again, I’m not lying here. She’s not thinking she’s riding in the sunset with prince charming. I make that abundantly clear. I give her a good time with emotions, experience, etc. But I’m empty. There’s nothing deeper than the surface. Its been this way for 3 years.

But after you go through so many rejections, ghosts, flakes etc. you do become hollow. You become this dead, monotonous robot who’s steadfast towards their goal. And that goal is abundance. True abundance. I’ve yet to reach it but I’m willing to do what ever it takes to get there.

Does anyone feel the same?