Pickup material ruins my mind

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-09-15T19:23:17+00:00

Your post was really long, I didn't read all of it. It seems to me that you are (have been) trying to hard to make a gimmick work for you. Don't misudderstand, there are guys out there who are wildly successful picking up and bagging women/girls. I am significantly older than you and have had a great deal of experience with women. Married more than once, dated and married women 20 years younger and 20 years older. I've had more than my share of intimate encounters. People were engaged in the activity you are talking about thousands of years before the internet, Facebook, Tinder etc. I've read many, many posts on this sub about guys being devastated because their, "game" doesn't seem to be working. The advice that I would give is to distance yourself from most of the snake oil advice and be yourself.

lqtys · 2022-09-15T20:04:52+00:00

This happened to me too. I made a post about this too.

Too much bullshit on “classic” PUA theory. Mystery and all that people.

Neo-Rio · 2022-09-15T22:58:27+00:00

The problem with a lot of seduction material is that it tells you that in order to get women you have to fake a lot of things:

Fake outfits (peacocking)
Fake social status
Fake personalities

And none of that is actually useful. Most of it came from the Mystery school of thought, and while it managed to EXPLAIN a lot of what's going on, it didn't help guys get around limitations of looks, status, and personality. Rather it boxed them further into those limitations. Mystery teaching pickup is a little like Mick Jagger teaching pickup. All Mick Jagger has to do is go backstage to meet groupies - but it only works for Mick Jagger! Trying to become some you are not simply to get women is the worst form of supplication.

Even today there's plenty of guys who still think looks and confidence matters. Then there are the endless Andrew Tates out there who think that working on yourself makes a difference. I had a friend who was an absolute bum - but a natural - with no job who had an easier time of it than myself, fully cashed up. And to him I owe a lot about understanding game simply by observing him and what he was doing that I wasn't.

Very few of the gurus teach you to get around your limitations and pick up women regardless. There are ways to get around the limitations and societal programming built into the system, but none of that can be bypassed unless you touch her beyond these things.

Competitive-Link-912 · 2022-09-15T20:58:02+00:00

The pickup stuff doesn’t work.

You are addicted to it for the same reason people are addicted to almost anything, dopamine. When you read this nonsense, you get a dopamine hit. When you pussy foot and get rejected, your dopamine levels drop and you come back to pickup for a pick me up of dopamine.

Deleted this account and stop scrolling on here.

zapadz · 2022-09-15T18:17:21+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nVa4Juy9jQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG2HACKbFu8

Superb-End6273 · 2022-09-16T00:16:28+00:00

Fuck... the pickup artists reeled you in and made you worse than you had previously been. Now honestly I didn't even have to read this bc I know exactly what tf your talking about. Listen, "pickup" game and real game are two different things.

Thos pickup artist overcomplicate shit much more than they need to. These include Toddv, RSD, coach kyle, John anothony, etc. Now please hear me out because your brain is probably so attached to those fucking techniques that you struggle to listen to what im saying but I want you to read this anyways. I got trapped inside the loop too, but there is hope. For you and for anyone else who is trapped within this horrible fucking loop. What they don't want you to know is that each and every one of us has our own style of game...

So when they feed us all this toddv fucking RSD bullshit we try to integrate that technique within us and follow this whole structured method in order to "attract" chicks rather than figuring out our own game and giving these chicks the opportunity to hang out with the best experience of their life. So, how do you learn YOUR(key word) style of game and where should you go?

Go to YouTube and type Stevethedean or Tykwondoe and pls go get you some real fucking game.

jsbach123 · 2022-09-16T00:27:22+00:00

PUA literature probably set me back three years. I wish I hadn't taken it so seriously when I was younger

Some of it's teachings are useful. But the harmful thing about it is this obsession with women. PUAs claim not to be outcome dependent. But everything about it is dependent on results.

You can't pour over countless field reports and analyze ever facet of your speech and gestures and then claim "oh I'm outcome independent". Everything about being a PUA is about women and that's a bad mindset to have.

Furthermore, it preaches unrealistic goals. Even the PUA gurus aren't achieving what they're selling. It's all an industry.

2022-09-16T03:00:19+00:00

Pick up stuff is poison to a young guys mind

dump_fool · 2022-09-16T05:28:41+00:00

The problem with PUA stuff is that it makes you feel inadequate.

None of this started with benevolent intent - it was created with marketing in mind, selling books/courses/coaching, tailored exactly to exploit gullible guys like you.

You have to realize you don't need any of that stuff to "pick" girls. It clouds your mind and hurts your interactions. I've never used any of that shit - it didn't even exist back when i started dating.

Instead, fix your anxiety, improve your looks (if you are fat loose weight, wear decent clothes), earn some money.

Picking up girls is something instinctual, not technical or verbal, it can be summed up like:

Find a girl that likes you, have a normal conversation sprinkled with intent (compliments, humor) and escalate by touch, kiss, invite her somewhere private where you can escalate more.

revente · 2022-09-16T08:57:32+00:00

I started to drown myself into theory and all that.. I filled my mind with so many stuff and each time I had a crush on a girl I just waited so long

No pickup material tells you to wait so long. You're ruining your own mind not the pickup material.

My advice to you is go do some improv classes. They teach you how to enter a scene (or approach a girl) without having anything prepared to say, to sense the energy and only then to start a genuine interaction.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-09-16T15:33:05+00:00

The thing you have to realize with pickup theory is its reverse engineering principals that exist with guys who are good. Much of it is not meant for you to learn and insert into conversations. Its about waypoints to get to. Its about social dynamics that will exist when you are confident and convey attraction.

And I would even say, most of it isn't necessary outside of the core basic principles for most guys. Much of it will fall into place as you practice and gain confidence, most likely.

RSD is a good example. They taught really insightful core principals. But, they hyped them up so much that it makes it sound like you discovered the matrix. Its just basic principles of confidence and social dynamics. Its good to know and gives you waypoints to get to. You should know the theory to help guide you. But, it should be positive. Not something you are over thinking about. And much of it will fall into place by itself when you start gaining confidence.

Use the theory when you write field reports. Then focus on 1-3 things when you approach and forget the rest. Remember, its mostly just inner confidence and a vibe you carry.

Title	Pickup material ruins my mind
Author	raccoonon
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	September 15, 2022 5:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xf39lm/pickup_material_ruins_my_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pickup-material-ruins-my-mind.1249954 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249954

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