Good day/evening/night/morning my fellow seducers, wherever you are from, Just a few minutes ago while surfing this subreddit I saw a thread about holding conversation. In the comments someone said he would like to see a method on how to actually PRACTICE holding conversation and I think I can help out with that. There are a few simple things that almost anyone can do that helped me a great deal in becoming better at conversing. First off we have to define a few key elements in conversing during pickup that we want to improve on. Those elements mostly being: speaking spontaneously and speaking enthousiastically. Now I'm gonna try to break these elements down for you as I know that these elements sound more like problems to people who have a hard time in conversation, after breaking the problem down I will give you some exercises that can help you improve on the problem. Realize what the problem is first, then learn from it and improve.

1. Speaking spontaneously

  • One of the most important, hardest parts in conversation and the one most people get stuck on

  • we tend to over-analyze and think too much about what we want to say. you think so much about what you wanted to say that analyzing it makes it sound like a bad idea to say it. Next time you talk to close friends take notes on how that goes, you don't usually think painfully long about telling something of your interests, cranking out a joke etc. because it might offend someone right? it just happens and no harm is done with it. I want you to write this down.

  • You need to start speaking the first thing that comes up in your head.

  • The reason we analyze what we say so much is because the girl in question is a stranger and we tend to think we need to live up to a certain standard with strangers. We think they judge us and trying to build a conversation around that to appease that stranger is basically like crawling on the floor in front of him saying: "oh dear mighty stranger, I want to get to know you so please deem me worthy for this conversation". Do you see how that feels? Simply because YOU are the one opening up to a stranger doesn't mean they are a king or something over you because you happen to invade their time schedule. That is the truth about spontanity anxiety as I like to call it. Try getting into the frame of mind that YOU are the king and that they should instead be grateful that you approach them because YOU are making time FOR them because you think they are interesting enough for you. And I mean literally, the 5 seconds it takes you to walk up to someone and say hi: feel like you own the world - if it helps: imagine yourself walking to that stranger in a crown and a big red kingly robe with all the innocent bystanders being your loyal guardsmen bowing down to you out of respect for approaching that person you are walking up to.

Using what you've learned

  • I suggest you first start practicing online when you feel really uncomfortable around people, because sitting at home behind your computer at least takes that stranger anxiety away a bit. Next up log on to any social network that allows you to talk to strangers fast, I personally used Omegle. Then simply start having conversations with people about anything, but here is the catch: you can only allow yourself to think 3 seconds about your reply, and I don't mean answer short and fast, but I just mean, whatever comes up in your head first, write that down immediately, no matter how dumb or whatever you think it is, type it down and send it. Now at any point when you're feeling reluctant to send anything, just remember that conversation is like pouring water, remember that conversation needs to flow and remember that the only awkward thing to do is pausing the conversation to analyze - make it a flow. This will take maybe a week and then it will be programmed into your subconscious and you will just be blabbing out whatever you think right away. If it takes longer than a week, don't be worried, we're all different people and some of us need longer practice than others.

  • After you get comfortable typing out whatever you say, take it to the streets slowly but surely. Start by going to malls, bars, restaurants and with people you overhear or with the staff, just say anything that comes up in you. For example you have a smoking hot waitress asking your order - you just tell her your order and then you say "and btw, you look great today, did you dye your hair?". It doesn't matter what you say, as long as you get around to saying it.

  • At this stage of learning conversation you really shouldn't worry about results yet, just make it a game for you and set goals like "talk small talk to 5 people today" without thinking about trying to get a certain reaction out of them; People might give you weird looks or something but when they do, just remember: you are in the learning process and you are doing great

  • practice for however long you need until you feel comfortable doing it. Once you do get comfortable doing it, crank it up a notch by switching from small talk to talking about deeper things like your interests and hobbies and stuff like that. Also keep in mind that at first when you start subconsciously saying what you think right away you might still feel awkward or anxious afterwards

2. Speaking enthusiastically

  • My friends tell me:

"Whenever I talk to someone, I sound so monotone that it drains us both from emotion. I can see her interest in me die with every word I speak".

And then naturally I would ask them if they were speaking about things he actually liked and he was like, yeah I do, we were talking about my study which is basically my life's work. That brings me to the conclusion that we expect our conversation partner to expect something from us. That probably sounds confusing at first so let me explain. The reason we don't speak enthusiastically is because we look in our conversation partner when saying something instead of looking inside ourselves. We act like what we say needs to be important enough for our conversation partner to want to hear it. And this is the downfall of our enthusiasm - because we cannot read a reaction from someone before they give it to us, we end up saying things like a question. What you say needs to be said from YOUR point of view, you need to say it because YOU find that interesting, not because you HOPE that she finds it interesting. That makes you look insecure and it gives people the impression that you'd rather not be talking to them, so you see it's always a problem for both parties. That's why you have to say things because YOU find them interesting so people know exactly what they can expect from you which will keep them lingering for more. Now at first we don't speak monotone, it builds up after seeing many faces of rejection when you talk insecurely, you think you're speaking wrong and therefore you speak with no sound and emotion at all.

How to counter this

  • think of your conversation partner to be your 3 year old niece. She is the 3 year old niece and you are the cool older uncle and she is just craving for you to tell her about yourself, about what you did today, about your work, about your hobbies, and you can see her fascination and that makes you tell enthusiastically about everything. This works with girls too, except they only show that fascination for your story AFTER you start talking about it enthusiastically. You have to initiate it. So again, write this down:

The next time I open up a conversation with someone and start talking about my interests, I will recite to myself in my head that she IS interested in it, I won't question if she wants to hear it, she WANTS to hear it.

What this basically does is take away your insecurity about whether what you want to say is good enough for her to listen to. So the next time you start about your interests, empty your mind just for 2 seconds as you start the sentence while you keep telling yourself that she was already long interested in this beforehand - expect people to want to hear your story. Once you get the hang of this you will see that she in fact IS fascinated in you and your story, even if she knows nothing yet about the subject you speak about, your enthusiasm about it intrigues her so much that she wants to hear EVERYTHING about you.

So how do we get that enthusiasm in our voice?

The best way to do this is actually: watch lots of shows, documentaries and write down how people express themselves. It's the actors job to convey the energy of what he tries to express in front of the camera. Look at the energies at each emotion and write them down, learn from them, and then practice in front of a mirror or better yet: pick up a book in front of the mirror, have a recording device handy like your phone and just read out conversations, at first practice them as they are described in the book. - "I don't know what to say anymore" he said, disappointed in her for cheating on him. Try reading it out loud as it is supposed to Once you get good at that, pick a line of conversation and say to yourself "how can I make this sound angry/sad/relieved etc." until you naturally bring in the emotion in your voice with every word you say. Then once you start practicing talking about your interest, before saying it think about why you love your interest so much, what this interest means for you, which emotions it brings for you and you will feel the enthusiasm in your body. Grasp that enthusiasm with your mind and just gush it out to your conversation partner as you talk about it, let her have it, make her feel what you feel for that interest. Basically: convince her strongly of your enthusiasm in your interest instead of getting HER enthusiastic about it, girls ride along with the emotions you express to them if they are suitable to her. So that concludes the theory behind these 2 conversation problems and some exercises to help you get over them. I really want you to emphasize on keeping the philosophy/theory of each section in the back of your head while you practice so that energy gets engraved in your sub conscience on the topic of conversation skills, if you understand exactly what you are doing and why things happen like they do, you will be able to learn from it and adapt to that. Remember that your mindset is more important than the technique, we communicate 90% with energy and 10% with words. That is exactly why it is so important that you converse with people out of your own perspective so you can create that flow that I spoke of earlier which makes you just gush out energy towards your conversation partner.I hope this has been comprehensible and most of all educational. Good luck practicing and feel free to comment or PM me about any questions you have!