Rejected friendzone request

xikl · 2015-03-16T18:35:23+00:00

reading too much into it. once friendship is mentioned it's basically over. if she finds you becoming disinterested and pesters you to chill, then you're winning. if she reciprocates disinterest then there wasn't enough attraction anyways.

joshsway · 2015-03-16T18:32:21+00:00

No need to call her out ... in the rare times this has happened to me I'm just ok cool and then just ignore them going forward if they want to "hang out" unless I want to be friends with them.

Diece · 2015-03-16T17:00:03+00:00

She wants her cake and eat it too, then when you denied that she got pissed. I wouldn't even bother with her

Iloveyou-Iknow · 2015-03-16T19:02:17+00:00

Your problem is that you are not interested in friendships where you talk with beautiful girls about art, music and life without needing something from her.

She instantly recognizes it, subconsciously, as neediness. To get women right and left; you have to give the impression that "you don't need her", that "you have other options already". Chances are if you weren't so direct and foolish (no offense) and just acted cool, took her out a few times for drinks and "art" , you would have already slept with her and probably dated her. She got scared of the courtship behaviour)

You courted this girl for relationship. That is a no no.

There are four ways a woman can be interested in a woman, ripping this off from David DeAngelo (got used to referencing after writing my master's theses..)

1- Not interested in any way
2- Interested as friends
3- Interested for sexual intercourse
4- Interested for long term relationship.

A woman is much likely to withhold sex from NUMBER 4 because she doesn't want to seem like a slut. But if you are at NUMBER 3, you can do anything you want. The reins are in your hands. You may continue being friends with benefits, you may dump her, or you may make her your girlfriend.

NUMBER 2 is where you are at right now, and you went there from NUMBER 3. You made out with this girl already. She was attracted to you. But the way you courted her instead of just keeping it cool and having sex, without any pressure for a relationship: turned off her attraction circuits. Attraction kaput. There is no road back from Wussville.

Getting back to Number 3 with this girl is more difficult than touching your right elbow with your right hand at this point (Tip: Chop your right hand off , grab it with your left hand and touch it to your right elbow)

I suggest you keep going to the gym, but abandon this oneitis, read the recommended books and start approaching women everyday for experience. You will meet nicer girls.

ItsBinissTime · 2015-03-16T21:25:32+00:00

It's tough to move forward from "don't even want to be friends."

The other comment may be right that you accidentally went from "let's have sex" to "let's be friends" by treading too close to "let's be soul mates". I don't know.

But when cool, hot chicks want to be your friend, don't say "No."

This is needy behavior. To say that you can't be friends with women is to say that you can't spare energy or focus on anything other than sex - most likely because you aren't getting any. It may not seem like it matters after she's already friending you, but your interactions with her influence other interactions. Don't try to turn the abundance mindset on and off. Live it.
Of course you don't want to be a "nice-guy" orbiter, trying to get closer to her by always being there. So don't. Don't go out of your way for her or do her favors. Bow out of gossip and girl talk. Instead be jokingly cocky. Practice comfort and flirting. Talk about hot chicks you meet. Have fun. If there was a non-"let's have sex" place to move forward from, this would be it.
It's hard to come by better social validation that hanging out with hot chicks. They can be a goldmine of easier approaches and better reactions. (Edit: typo: harder->hard)

RubyCool · 2015-03-16T18:58:26+00:00

I'm confused - what exactly happened before, during and after the make out sessions? She doesn't mind making out but doesn't want to go on dates? Maybe she's just wants to have fun, you know Friends with bennies :)

Onikiri · 2015-03-16T19:39:38+00:00

This is what's happening to me right now. Girl I was interested in failed to mention she had a BF until I found out myself recently. Called her out on it and she said "guess we can't just be friends."

My reply? Nope. She blocked me on all social media and said she won't contact me again. What did I get this morning? A friendly text from her about some show we talked about before. I deleted it immediately.

You got the right attitude IMO. Just ignore her, unless she offers something that you think will be worth your time. That's your call obviously. But I wouldn't progress with anything further.

diversification · 2015-03-16T21:25:56+00:00

As others have said, from here you have little chance of doing anything that will get you out of the friendzone unless for some reason this was some sort of game she's playing and your "no" gets her to start qualifying herself, but seeing as she hasn't text you back, I'd say that's unlikely. The best you can hope for is that after a good bit of time she might contact you again because she's decided she does want to sleep with you after-all; this is also unlikely if she has a lot of suitors.

I'm kinda curious about, why to said no to friendship. My suspicion is that she hurt your ego and rejecting her as a friend was your way of retaliating. In the context of seduction, the more friends you have, the more likely you'll be to meet new girls, who could turn into hookups. What if you had said yes to friendship, met this girl's friends and hooked up with a couple of them? The thought process I'm describing is one that I'd associate with outcome independence, which is discussed frequently around here.

In my mind, it seems that you may have benefited more in the long term if you had admitted you are interested in her, but agreed to friendship. Doing that would have probably left her with a more favorable feeling towards you (especially if you delivered it appropriately,) but wouldn't have really obligated you to anything. Thoughts?

midnightyeti · 2015-03-16T21:50:58+00:00

If she sees you with another hot girl, all of a sudden she will want to talk with you.

joecity856 · 2015-03-16T16:50:13+00:00

She needs you for between the hours a 2AM and 6AM if need be.

Title	Rejected friendzone request
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	March 16, 2015 4:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2z8xb8/rejected_friendzone_request/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rejected-friendzone-request.1385402 https://theredarchive.com/post/1385402

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