Seddit, this is absolutely infuriating.

T3hJ3hu · 2011-04-18T20:59:00+00:00

Calm down, man. You're doing just fine. You are the source of all of your anger, frustration, and sadness. You're caught up in a storm of "I should be", "I wish I was", and "But what if" statements -- you need to let those go. A real Alpha doesn't think he "should" be anything; he just is what he is and has a good time with it.

Drop your expectations, for God's sake. Stop putting pressure on yourself -- I mean, do you really need to be the life of the party? Do you really need to do be a master PUA? No. No you fucking don't. It doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of life whether or not you could pick up chicks willy-nilly. As time goes on, you'll look back and think, "Good God, I was retarded. I can't believe I based my own self-worth on my success with women. Fucking stupid."

All that really matters is that you enjoy your life. Have fun. Do the things you want to do. Drop all of the notions of what you should be -- trust me, you'll never think that you're perfect. There will always be something that you "should" be, something that you want but can't live up to. Right now it's "I should be good with women"; in the future, it will be "I should have a better job" or "I should be a better parent".

So let go and live in the moment! Seduction is nice to study for pointers and miscellaneous tips, but the bulk of its utility is that it teaches you to just get out there and have a good time. Do what you want to do; don't care about what other people think or what you "should" be doing. Life is way too fucking short for that shit.

The next time you go out, just remember that you're there to have fun -- that's all. If you do that, then you're guaranteed to enjoy yourself. And here's the kicker: nothing else makes you more attractive to a woman. Nothing.

ehbeeseedee · 2011-04-18T18:59:29+00:00

I know the feeling. I'm not sure it helps but I do. When I'm up I'm way up and when I'm down I can't catch any breaks. Who knows, maybe your swings are clinical and require treatment. One week I'm getting tons of attraction from unexpectedly beautiful girls and other weeks I can't even get an ugly girl interested in a conversation. Even when I get the hot girl attracted I end up beating myself up because I didn't close her.

Most of the mPUA's I see talking have been at this game for 3-5 years. I've dedicated about 2 months so far. I get out 3 nights a week (at least) but I still feel like I spend too much time at my flat with my roommates.

I remind myself that it took me years to learn to play the guitar well. I remember moments when I was practicing where it seemed like I would never get a technique or song down that now I play like it is second nature.

The only advice I can give is keep the final goal in mind but focus with intensity on the next step. Don't worry about anything except the next thing you are going to do. After you've done it, review the consequences (good or bad) and then make a new "next step". Progress is measured in years not days.

yokhai · 2011-04-18T21:03:19+00:00

Stop putting so much pressure on making all the points line up. Work on one thing at a time and build. I say the first is to thrust yourself out there, join a meet up group or a sports team and be a free agent. i just played kickball in atlanta and made insta-friends, those are phenomenal. Once you have a social circle, everything else is easier to help fall into place.

If you want that life style, the first change is to realize that the people who have it, don't worry about it. Look up free social activities online and go, don't hold back. Things get better.

revtrot · 2011-04-18T21:23:05+00:00

What are your goals? What goals are you not meeting? What worked for me was to break down what I wanted and and I took babysteps toward those things. It took time but it worked.

bmay · 2011-04-19T00:13:59+00:00

Read up on some cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Two good books for that:

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

Intimate Connections

edpp901 · 2011-04-18T21:57:36+00:00

You don't need a therapist or whatever, you just need to firstly be happy with yourself (I know this sounds stupid) and then move on. If you start off thinking negative, then it will only turn out negative.

The Romans didn't build Rome in whatever... You catch my drift.

Just calm down and think about the positives in your life, and be happy that you at least have them!

I don't particularly have any true friends, but i'd rather not have any friends than fake ones. It will all come in time.

NOW - que the criticism!

revolved · 2011-04-18T23:31:09+00:00

I sincerely recommend going to the gym at least 3 times a week - /r/fitness

This will keep you emotionally stable, and increase your confidence. Make sure you are eating good whole foods. Make a practice of meditating, or at least putting aside some time each day to step off the hamster wheel and think. These are the methods I used to get control when my life seemed out of control, and it has helped me stabilize my life so much more. Now I can begin to pursue my longer term goals.

Sed5 · 2011-04-19T21:32:21+00:00

Everything comes slow. Chill out

system151 · 2011-04-18T19:45:19+00:00

Ive been listening to a lot of Hypnotica's stuff and watching his videos. I recommend it

philosarapter · 2011-04-18T20:39:56+00:00

This anger you feel is a good thing.

Use this as fuel to propel yourself into better things. Remember this anger, feel it through and through, memorize how you feel right now. So that when you think about not going to the gym today, or not talking to that girl you have the perfect opportunity to, or any other type of pussy-behavior, you will remember to how angry you are and you will go and do what you need to do.

Perserverance is key here. You need to take it one step at a time, and whenever you don't "feel like" taking a step forward, remind yourself why you are doing it and do it anyway.

Secondly, don't compare your life against others, they are apples and oranges. Some people grow up with everything given to them and face completely different challenges and experiences than you, this is nothing you can change... and getting upset about it wont get you anywhere. Everyone walks their own path, the question is not how other people's paths look like, but where YOURS is going.

ArrogantHuman · 2011-04-19T09:08:19+00:00

I'm just recovering from low self esteem and depression and let me tell you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to NOT THINK. So whenever you feel yourself starting to get paralyzed from acting at something, try to immediately force yourself to act. Even if you do it with very minor things, eventually it adds up and you become a more capable and confident person. Also you need to learn to forgive yourself when you don't act, because you are improving and will eventually act on everything you want to act on.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-04-19T00:09:21+00:00

If you really feel you need a therapist, seek one out. Money is not usually a problem, most therapists have sliding scales for low income people, or perhaps there is a publicly funded community counseling center.

I feel for you, I have the same problems, I'm chronically broke, no job except crappy temp work, my social circle is gone due to The Woman's meltdown. The only people I have left are losers like my alcoholic ex-girlfriend, who, as I was typing this paragraph, came over, pounded on my door, burst into the room drunk and crying uncontrollably, cursing that she wants to die and that she's useless. I finally let her have it, I said, "I have heard this a million times and I'm sick of it. You want to be useful instead of useless? What value are you bringing to my life with your rants? None, all you do is create a big drama to upset me. I don't want to hear it ever again." So she stomped out of my apartment and screamed outside my door to never talk to her again. That works for me. I have enough problems to deal with of my own, I don't need her problems.

Anyway, I decided I needed to work on my inner game. It's slow and the results are not always obvious. It took us a long time to get to the pathetic state we are in, as I always say, "Rome wasn't burned in a day." So it's going to take a while to reform our Self, which got all distorted and dysfunctional. Just be patient. The results are there, even if you don't think you are seeing any.

Title	Seddit, this is absolutely infuriating.
Author	ehbeeseedee
Upvotes	7
Comments	27
Date	April 18, 2011 6:42 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gsydq/seddit_this_is_absolutely_infuriating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-this-is-absolutely-infuriating.1317526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317526

Comments