Stacked against me:

  • 170 cm, Indian in EU
  • High-functioning ADHD but it is still a big struggle
  • Introverted, socially anxious especially in a new country
  • Zero flirting skills
  • Old school, before this few relationships but they kind of fell into my lap
  • High expectations- I have been lucky with my past (relationship and marriage) and the last two girls were very beautiful and intelligent(doctors, engineers, artists etc). Very quickly I had calibrate my expectations here :D
  • Not typical alpha-type, maybe suffer with nice guy syndrome. Silent, thinker type and a little too intense for casual social dynamics. Not a go-getter.

Stacked towards me:

  • Fairly fit, lift weight, alright looking. Without height looks maybe 7, with height I don't know maybe 4-5 depending on the location.
  • Creative, Philosopher, talented, quite traditionally successful. Imagine Slavoj Zizek type so maybe it's a negative
  • Despite the existential melancholy, I do enjoy hobbies- motorcycle, cinema and so many other stuff.

Not trying to be an incel I believe a woman's company is amazing and everyone should fall in love properly at least one or two times in their adult(25+) life. Nor I am unaware what works- a close friend of mine is a proper "player" in NY and is always trying to coach me. But one has to be a different person to be that and I am far from it. Online apps have been super dry and the few dates I had, I couldn't escalate things. Today went on a second date with a very kind and gentle girl and she said she's not feeling it and we could be friends. She said something to do with hugs and she is not wrong. I do hug like a bro :D

I am not fishing for sympathy either (or maybe I am!). I am in my late 30s, so many odds stacked against me , too old to learn so many tricks, in a foreign land with its own nuances and sensibilities- I ask myself should I just give up. I ask this as an objective question.

I do enjoy life, just continue with that and if something happens then it happens.