Should I take a break from this?

Hnikud · 2017-10-23T03:52:29+00:00

I was commiting the same mistake, but I was able to correct it earlier than you. Do not see girls as the priority because they are not. In fact, the lack of girls is a symptom of a problem that is deeper, perhaps it is a boring lifestlyle, or how needy you are, etc... My advice for you is, change your mindset completely because girls come and girls go. At the end of the day, the only thing you have true power over is yourself. Something that helped me change my mindset is how petty parties and clubs are. I do enjoy them, but they are there just cause we are lonely.

colpua · 2017-10-23T06:17:15+00:00

I quit drinking, barring, and clubbing five years ago. Socializing became more challenging, but I don't regret it. There was a time I was really into seddit, going out, and I learned a lot of great stuff that helped me become more of who I wanted to be. I learned I didn't have to be afraid of or passive towards others, that I can actively engage life and pursue my own happiness. Most of life isn't as shitty and petty as the bar and club scene. I think that scene draws really shallow people. In a sense, though, it's a great place to thicken your skin. I don't think you have to take a break, though. Just take it easy and change the scene. Work on day game. Focus on attracting better people into your life, not just good-looking women. Never take a break on improving yourself.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-23T07:08:10+00:00

__1__

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but this weekend was crushing.

Sounds like you're still choosing to view things in a way that is really unfair to you. I'll elaborate.

"Seduction" is nothing more than socializing, at its heart. Socializing with a particular goal, sure. But still, it's socializing. So you there are a lot of ways to build the core skill set. And the most effective way is NOT really to go out and punish yourself by trying to socialize only with girls you want to get with. You're literally choosing the most difficult part, and trying to build a foundation that way, apparently.

I can't think of a more soul-crushing way to go about it.

You haven't given much context, but if you can't deal with normal social interactions well, then you have to start with that before you can expect yourself to do well at "seduction." So on that note, let's do an inventory.

How comfortable are you with talking to ANY stranger? Male, female, older, younger, not interested in them or interested.
What sorts of social activities do you do? Just going out and trying to talk to girls? What friends do you have?
How far have you gotten with this? Has there been any kissing or more with any of the girls you were going for? Dates? Phone numbers?
Where are you meeting them?

__2__

Basically blew up a couple sets and also got a couple sets taken over by other guys in pretty devastating ways.

This sounds awful, but sets cannot really get "taken over. If that happened, then the reality is, those girls weren't interested and you were still plowing forward anyway. OR, your confidence wasn't strong enough and you weren't really "in" the set. When you're doing this right, they'll be working with you.

Think about what would happen if you were chatting with a good friend and some dude stepped in between you and started trying to cut you out of the conversation. Your friend would be like, WHAT THE FUCK. They'd eject the new person and plug you right back into the conversation. This is basically what will happen if you're doing "seduction" right.

The good news is that this is not a hard fix once you turn your attention to the right area. You have to build awareness of the situation and the girls to get to where this stuff

__3__

I'm trying to think about why I feel so affected by this. Honestly, I think trying to land girls is something I think about and prioritize way too much. I think a lot of my daily actions are constantly driven by this desire.

On one hand, it's not strange at all that you'd be affected by this. It just means that you're not a robot. Being rejected is something that humans feel. This feeling might be even worse if you don't have some good social circle stuff to do besides just going out to try to get girls.

__4__

I think in general I'm done messing around and want to find someone compatible but maybe I should just let that happen more naturally.

Off-hand, a lot of context is missing from your story, such as what you've actually been doing. But you probably need to work on a couple of things:

Building up social skills.
Building a social life for yourself that's not primarily revolving around getting a girl.

A great way to kill a couple birds with one stone, would be to start adding some variety to your social life. Because getting some social circle stuff going, where you hang out with mixed groups of men and women, allows you to get practice socializing with people in some comfortable ways, while also allowing you options to meet new women, as the social circles in the examples I'm about to list, are often changing frequently enough.

Hash runs. Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Tango, Lindy hop, West coast swing, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. Also, you're going to learn how to get comfortable being in close and touching a girl and learning how to know when and how they like being touched.
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.

NunoHimself · 2017-10-23T12:22:22+00:00

That's normal, everyone gets that. It's going well, then it sucks for weeks, then it's going well again. It usually mean you're getting more advanced. Keep hammering on the mistakes and learn from it, it'll be like a new power unleashed. This is true for game and life is general, when something goes really well it means something will go badly after, and when something is going really badly it means something will go well after. Just keep going, expect to get that for a month or so and you'll get upgraded.

essexaspie · 2017-10-23T15:06:30+00:00

I know how you feel, man! I've been at this about 1.5 years. My mood and optimism towards it all naturally fluctuates, but at this second in time, I'm kind of feeling like a lost cause lol

Socialinception · 2017-10-23T15:15:02+00:00

It sounds like you just got hurt and now you want to avoid feeling that again. Pickup isn't for everyone, if you can't handle some harsh rejections and uncomfortable situations, maybe you should just find a 6 on tinder and settle with her.

Title	Should I take a break from this?
Author	breakingthehabits
Upvotes	12
Comments	11
Date	October 23, 2017 2:55 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/784xpa/should_i_take_a_break_from_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-take-a-break-from-this.1296655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1296655

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