Had a girl call me a simp to my face the other day, so that's nice.

Long story short I hung out with an ex coworker/fling two days ago. On the way to my place she's talking about other guys she's been with in the year since I've seen her. All these guys are a mix between toxic, manic, straight up criminals, and violent.

She proceeded to say that I'm a simp for her and she needs a guy that's "scary" or scares her. I understand the basic idea that this chick has childhood trauma and clearly likes toxic bad boys and I'm not being masculine enough ofcourse, but I don't think I'm being a "nice guy" I'm just not being an insane criminal lunatic.

Whatever I'm doing is clearly wrong so I don't know if this is inner game or outer game or both, but what habits should I be getting rid of and what habits should I be trying to cultivate.

I know I need to change. I'm having a hard time understanding the specifics. I don't want to have to be toxic or have a women thinking I'm gonna show up at her house at any given moment to do god knows what. But my literal actions need to change because taking girls on dates, being reliable and dependable is apparently a simp nowadays so where's the middle ground exactly?

TLDR: How to not be a nice guy simp without being an insane lunatic?