Some unasked for advice from an old man

2011-01-03T01:43:26+00:00

I've noticed that as I'm getting better at pickup, the less desiring I am of LTR. But this is because I wanted the security of an LTR. Nowadays, I thrive on the thrill of being single. I don't want the comfort of a LTR.

Unless I meet someone I can grow with. The only reason for a LTR, in my mind, is to find someone I can talk, learn, and share with on a much deeper level than my platonic friends. But I believe this will happen one day when I'm not actively looking for it. I think the important thing is I'm open to it.

Anyways, I agree with you. Familiarity breeds contempt. Anything can get old. The mind does crave new experiences. I believe the key to life is to keep growing, keep learning, keep experiencing, and never to stagnant.

afcanonymous · 2011-01-03T06:04:56+00:00

How old is old?

MrRisky · 2011-01-03T23:11:50+00:00

Here's my advice: NEVER look for a long term relationship. Date enough women so that you find one who is deserving of a LTR with you. Practice seduction so you can date enough women to find a good one. Once you're able to fuck women at will, you will know that you're not committing out of fear, desperation or loneliness. You'll know that you are committing to a woman because she deserves you.

That is, if commitment is right for you. Commitment is not right for everybody, and that is an acceptable life choice as well.

my bio: I was a single guy, OK with women. Found the right girl. Was in a really long term relationship, but it recently all broke down. Back to being a single guy who is now REALLY good with women.

cheddarchexmix · 2011-01-03T23:34:51+00:00

A healthy relationship will all its pitfalls is more important (I know most here won't agree) and will get you more fulfillment.

That is an opinion - and not one that everyone here will agree with, for various reasons. I'm not sure about most, but I do know that most guys here aren't currently looking for an LTR as a big priority.

But that's beside the point. People come here to get better at meeting and dating women. What they do with that knowledge is then up to them.

For me, I have enjoyed the LTR's I've been in, but now that I'm much better at meeting women, I've realized I can be a lot more picky and not jump into an LTR with the next woman I really like. Hopefully that will improve the quality of my next LTR if/when I decide to go there.

frogma · 2011-01-04T19:30:07+00:00

You really, really have to be careful with this. There's a reason so many people get divorced nowadays. It's because they've been in 3 (or so) LTR's, and on the 4th, they think they've found their soulmate. The benefit of what I do is I can pick up a girl, either fuck her or not, and if I think it's going somewhere I can take it further. There's no way in hell I'm going to stick it out in a 3-month relationship with a girl who isn't absolutely amazing when there's 100 million others I can find- a lot of whom may be better. To each his own, but most of the LTR's I've seen people in have fallen apart (including mine), and I say "Congrats, bro, you only spent 3 years with that girl thinking you might even get married, and now have completely missed your shot with other girls and you've been out of the dating game, so good luck finding the next one." I'd love to be in an LTR (it's basically what I'm here for) but until it happens, I'm happy with getting laid.

badadvice_guru · 2011-01-05T15:21:26+00:00

I appreciate the advice, but I know what I'm doing and what I'm after. I've been there already. Still your points should be heard, they're just not for me and my situation.

3 years ago, I was divorced after a 15 year hellish marriage. The only thing worse than the marriage itself was the 13 month divorce process in which our children were pitted squarely in the middle (she tried to leave the state, I fought to keep them). During those 15 years, I went from being an outgoing, warm, lighthearted and friendly guy to being an extreme introvert, battered, an apologetic butler and whittled to my core. She became my pimp. I worked, came home and did all the cleaning and cooking, etc. I drove the kids to school everyday and picked them up after. I sacrificed sleep pulling 24 hour days on a regular basis, my life became about others needs only- which stripped me of my own identity.

She eventually tossed me for it, and did me the favor of my life. It's since taken most of those 3 years to reconnect to my old self and now surpass it. I love my life now. I'm sappy about it, I wake up with a smile almost every morning.

I know not all women are like her. I have no hatred for women, just manipulators both male and female. I have no interest in LTR's anymore. I'd prefer to have a bunch of friends both male and female (a few of those to be intimate with) and keep my core intact.

I am now a full time single dad, so I have no interest in introducing anyone who's not platonic to my wonderful sons. They saw a lot of abuse on a daily basis and I while I can throw the dice on my own heart, I'll never do it with theirs.

glassuser · 2011-01-03T06:25:17+00:00

Like I keep saying (and as many keep agreeing), most of this PUA crap is only a crutch to build social and "woman" skills. It's useful, it's fun, and it needs to be scaled back after a while. But as good as I get at it, the thing I find I really want is a deep relationship with a quality woman.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-01-03T02:02:07+00:00

Spare us your moral judgements. Nobody solicited your advice on how to conduct their lives.

Title	Some unasked for advice from an old man
Author	tldrtldrtldr
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	January 3, 2011 1:15 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ev60e/some_unasked_for_advice_from_an_old_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/some-unasked-for-advice-from-an-old-man.1314177 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314177

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