Stop Texting Her!

Bossauge · 2018-07-19T19:12:14+00:00

That last paragraph is the most important part.

2018-07-19T19:46:43+00:00

Great post. I don’t believe there is a quicker way to destroy attraction than being the guy who constantly talks over text all day. Thankfully I’m in a position now where I couldn’t do this even if I wanted to.

technobrendo · 2018-07-19T20:56:53+00:00

I recently got into some texting confusing with a new lady friend. In the very beginning (before meeting in person) we went from OKCupid texting, to phone texting (SMS). I actually texted the entire time up until meeting her in person, to kind of add to the surprise of that first meet. She was very responsive and texted back immediately.

So after we had our dates, the next day I send a message about something, and she responded way later. Same thing 2 days later.

Eventually she calls me the next day and we talk on the phone for about 3 hours. At some point we get to talking about texting and she says she only really uses text for work, friends & family that live far away/overseas, and simple stuff (bring home milk). Other than that, and especially in a relationship, its calling / no texting.

This works for me since I hate texting.

2018-07-20T05:38:54+00:00

That last paragraph. True.

I’m never gonna be “happy” but for others, great advice! 👍

AnonUser8509 · 2018-07-20T05:49:29+00:00

This is exactly how I fucked up with the last two girls I was actually into. Solid advice. Listen to this man.

I actually got closure a week ago for the former of these two girls from a friend who ended up becoming really good friends with that girl. She straight up asked her, after a while, what happened. The girls response was that she was really into me for a while but the attraction dropped off cuz she thought I was way more into her than she was into me. This is definitely what happened again with the girl I was seeing a month ago.

2018-07-19T18:39:34+00:00

Great post all around my friend. Honestly inspiring.

Lagaluvin · 2018-07-20T05:05:16+00:00

Good to see some healthy advice on this sub after whatever the fuck that was I read a couple of days ago.

mike2060 · 2018-07-20T09:33:57+00:00

I just met this girl on Tinder and we set up a date the same day we matched. The next day I didn't text her until in the evening basically telling her that I don't like texting a lot before the first date and that I am not ignoring her.

I realized that the only way the date could not happen is if I screw it up over text so if we just don't text the date should happen. She said that she was cool with it but that she wouldn't mind texting a bit before the date. I agreed but I am leaving it up to her to send me texts if she wants to.

The last girl I dated I am quite sure my texting after our second date messed things up a bit so I think OP has a really good point about minimizing texting as it really is a pretty shitty form of communication.

2018-07-20T16:03:50+00:00

Can I upvote this multiple times? Texting has fucked up my results consistently because I love talking to new girls.

Pro-tip for texting while working: Wait until lunch and don't text before or after it. Even if you have a slow day.

AnonUser8509 · 2018-07-20T02:59:24+00:00

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Luffydude · 2018-07-19T21:27:39+00:00

Texting is only there to set up the date, nowadays you have Instagram to keep her warm. Set up the date then be silent until the day of the date (ideally within 2 days, none of this next week bullshit)

Don't be the needy guy, have the girls be needy for you

2018-07-20T07:16:40+00:00

Texting in general is considered weak, but I do believe that it has it's strengths when used properly and limited.

When you get a girls number & initiate a setup for a meeting, texting strongly and limited is key. Calling her would obviously be better, but not always as easy imo. If she flakes, your initial attraction sucked, not the lack of texts.

After a proper date, texting could become a very powerful tool as a reminder. No need to get very personal, just give her enough to keep her thoughts occupied. Combine that and you are golden.

kamakaZ101 · 2018-07-20T15:01:14+00:00

So what about this scenario.

Hit it off with a girl. Got her number. Talked about seeing each other again when she's in town a month from now. How often do I keep in touch? I don't want to over text but I don't want to go completely silent.

boomerski · 2018-07-19T19:39:57+00:00

Thank you my friend! Thank you!

WolffgangVW · 2018-07-19T20:52:49+00:00

This was well written and well said. The idea of trying to get better at talking to women has become so poisoned that it gets missed that so much of it is stopping the stupid and/or manipulative stuff you were already doing.

Bravo. I wish people whose vocabulary begins and ends with 'negging' would read this.

'it takes a pretty good drummer to be better than no drummer at all' - chet baker

DbzRoshi · 2018-07-19T19:58:28+00:00

I like you included that texting back and forth with a girl is not always bad because I, as a girl, really like it when I can text the guy I have plans with prior to the plans. I like it when he texts me and even if it's a simple good morning and short convo - doesn't matter. I for one love it so when they apologize for texting me so much - I always say I actually like it.

Everyone is different and I thought I should mention this because some girls like the attention and feeling wanted.

Alex_O7 · 2018-07-20T06:41:32+00:00

I disagree. It is not confermation bias. A lot of time if you have even a strong interaction with a girl and you set a date in more than three day (from the day you set it), and you don't text with her in the meanwhile, 80% of the time she will flake you.

At least this is what my experience (or the one that i heard from friends) teach to me, and this is valid in my european country.

And for the last part of your post, it is true that you have to make a life outside of the man-woman interaction, but this don't mean that if you WANT to text a girl for whatever reason, and you have fun in doing that, then you wouldn't do that only to spend time doing other stuff in your life. My best advice is "feel free to do whatever you want, whatever make you happy in whatever fucking time you want to."

Hannagin · 2018-07-20T07:25:38+00:00

Great post. Totally agree.

Xanarxses · 2018-07-20T11:33:03+00:00

Without great friends, hobbies, passions, and people that otherwise depend on you, you will never be happy no matter how many women you seduce.

Correction

Without great friends, hobbies, passions, and people that otherwise depend on you, you will never be happy and you won't seduce any women.

Hmmkey · 2018-07-20T14:45:39+00:00

I try to keep it brief and not respond too much when there is already a date set, definitely agree you only have something to lose from there on. But i do make sure to be aware when i get the feeling from her texts that she is starting to feel uncomfortable and needs some comfort to feel its alright. Sometimes when girls get really sexual over text i feel like after they are scared a bit because they feel like expectations are created and they are scared not to live up to it or feel uncomfortable because they think you will jump on her for sex the moment you meet up. so i will make sure to make some small talk coming across as a genuine good guy and skip all the sex talk in like the day before we meet up.

2018-07-20T17:11:27+00:00

Real. The only word to describe it.

Everyone upvote this.

muse933277 · 2018-07-21T14:06:57+00:00

I approve

2018-07-19T19:22:45+00:00

👍

dynasty_400 · 2018-07-19T23:36:10+00:00

Thanks bro

2018-07-20T00:35:28+00:00

Should you just phone girls instead of texting them? I'm honesty considering this

2018-07-20T01:46:18+00:00

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notsofastmyfriends · 2018-07-20T00:16:33+00:00

this is total bullshit. you can build great rapport via text and fuck on the first date when you do meet. some girls like to text a lot, back off for those who don't.

Title	Stop Texting Her!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	531
Comments	55
Date	July 19, 2018 6:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/908hg7/stop_texting_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-texting-her.1450197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1450197

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