Successful Sedditors, what did you do on your path of self-improvement to get to where you're at?

niggawitabadback · 2015-01-21T02:52:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

StarwaysCongress · 2015-01-21T08:29:23+00:00

Start with the basics:

Read every day. I'm always reading two books at a time. One science fiction, one self-development. I like to strike a balance so I don't burn myself out of learning.
Approach.
Continuously improve your diet. Organic/Paleo is ideal.
Lift. Run. Swim. Move your ass. Get fit.
Improve your style. Get this down quickly so you aren't spending mounds of cash on new clothes as your taste slowly evolves. /r/malefashionadvice is a great place to start.

Steps to elevating your thoughts and results to a freakishly high level:

Meditate once or twice daily, 20 minutes per session
Read more books, try a broad range of resources
Approach more
Think super critically. Stop assuming your thoughts and emotions are reality. Understand personal growth is an extremely bumpy ride. Ups and downs are constant, trending upwards very slowly.
Most importantly, never be too proud to learn from people. Respect and take the time to learn from guys that have the kind of success you want.

MetalPUA · 2015-01-21T00:53:11+00:00

There's way too much to cram into a single post. But if you haven't already I highly recommend that you read the following 2 books:

Models by Mark Manson. This is probably the best book on the subject of developing your "inner game" to make yourself more attractive to women.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. This book is mostly aimed towards men who are already in a relationship, but there's still a lot of stuff in there that single guys will find useful.

I also plan on reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

Of course, just reading a few books isn't going to instantly turn you into a master of seduction. Just like learning to snowboard or mastering a new language, seduction is a skill that you're going to have to practice a lot if you want to get good at it. That means you're gonna have to leave your comfort zone and start going out to bars, going to parties, approaching women out in public, joining a dance or yoga class, joining an online dating site, etc.

For most of my life I have been unsuccessful with women. I was a classic example of a "Nice Guy" who thought that the best way to get a girlfriend was to befriend her and hope that it would naturally evolve into a relationship. Of course, now I'm aware of the fact that this almost never works. So a little over a year ago I started lurking on this subreddit, and I also started reading literature on seduction and overcoming "Nice Guy Syndrome". Since then my success rate with women has improved by a huge margin. Granted, I'm not pulling in as much tail as Dan Bilzerian, but in the last year I've been on a lot of dates and I've gotten laid multiple times, whereas my former "nice guy" self would sometimes go years without getting laid.

Wolf_SF · 2015-01-21T10:13:45+00:00

I've started with working out more and doing the things i love. From gaming to working out, studying to become an astrophysicist and learning how to dance and express my emotions when i'm going out.

After that, i've worked on basic talking to girls i find attractive. For me, there are no 10's or 9's or 6's. There's only 0's or 1's. That way you won't put any woman on a pedestal. It's simple really "i'd bang you (1) or i wouldn't bang you (0).

I've been into seduction for about half a year now and one of the most important things i've learned is to love rejection. As Mark Manson says in his book " what if it's a gift"? If you get rejected or there isn't a click, then it's a gift because you don't have to waste anymore of your time and energy in her and move on to the next one.

Ofcourse, you need to practice and practice, over and over again. And learn out of your mistakes.

Seduction is an art and a game. You need to have fun while doing it and even enjoy failing ^{^.}

thehappysoul · 2015-01-21T06:43:59+00:00

The biggest lesson i learned i believe is as follows "Whatever happens, happens. Nothing is a big deal" Credit goes to Mystery.

zomgitsduke · 2015-01-22T16:04:10+00:00

Got in shape

Stopped chickening out in doing activities. I went winter hiking last week, getting up at 6am on a day off from work. Usually I spend the entire morning in bed online.

Limited engagement with social media, now people are very receptive when I post because its rare. I used to dump my entire personality on Facebook, making me very predictable

Pursued a passion of line dancing, its a lot of fun for me. I now go twice a week instead of once, health benefits are obvious

Took risks, big ones. Deleted my "safety nets" of women with minor chemistry who I haven't talked to in more than a month

Told a female friend that I wanted to date her, not be friends. She didn't handle that well. I risked (and lost) a friendship for a romance and I'm still glad it happened that way

Opened up with friends, asked them to challenge me and push me to talk to women and give me shit about it if I don't approach them within a few minutes

Got into writing again. I blog twice a week about my passions. Great material, and that's about all I use social media for; posting my blog posts.

hardly_incognito · 2015-01-21T06:52:33+00:00

I'm not quite finished, but I can see the finish line.

My journey started 6 years ago when I was a nerdy high school kid who was bullied often. I managed to omit many things from my life that held me back and focused on self-improvement, versus having a victim's mentality. At that time, it was lifting. I quickly found myself in 2 LTRs, but after my last one came to an end a year ago, it was back to square one. Despite being a confident, nice looking and intelligent man, I had absolutely no way to pick-up women and was utterly mortified at the aspect of speaking to them. It was only possible for me when intoxicated.

It wasn't until recent I realized picking up women at parties meant nothing, as they never followed through. I wanted the women who did things I enjoyed. Women who were ambitious, good looking, and most of all - interesting. This is where I'm at now. I've currently had a handful of successful interactions with women, I've handled rejection well and even made good fun of it, and I'm a far more social individual.

If I could say one thing helped, one thing at all, it'd be going up to someone - anyone - and saying hi. Building relationships in general plays a huge role. I'm slowly moving away from my introverted self and becoming more sociable, where I can make that simple hi turn into something far more meaningful.

seducer4real · 2015-01-21T10:51:08+00:00

I read a lot of books, especially ones by robert greene. I dont think pua books are necessary. As for approaching, im doin a 100 approach challenge starting today bc yesterday i fucked up.

soindieithurts · 2015-01-22T00:47:01+00:00

Never read any books on seduction. A few things made a huge difference for me. I permanently deleted my tinder and okc accounts. I had some success on there but they were hurting my real life game. What changed things for me was one singles meetup mixer I randomly went to. I'm an average looking dude and I went there and basically just killed. I used to think I wasnt good looking enough to date 10s and it was pretty amazing to watch the really good looking guys struggle at the mixer while I was basically the guy. I felt like a kobe bryant at his prime thrown into a high school game. After that I basically decided that looks didnt matter as much and that I was fine and I no longer ask myself if she'd like me before I approach. I dont ask her with my body language if she's interested. Lots of 10s especially at clubs/bars put on a filter and have that 'dont even look at me' attitude. If you're comfortable staying confident and relaxed once she initially shows no interest all 10s from my experience will give you a shot. You can see them thinking 'who is this guy? why didnt he walk away?!'. I just go for what I want now, I smile, speak slowly and I make her work. The key with 10s is to not accidentally try to impress her. Just have a conversation. You have to "connect"- it's not about the number. if you dont connect the number is useless. Dont ask for her name, or where she's from, never give her your biz card, etc. Ideally do not buy her a drink but sometimes that's your only way in. Obviously dont "ask" to buy them a drink nor use any actual pickup lines unless you think of something on the spot. Last time I was sitting at a bar at a diner and a hottie was sitting next to me with her gf ( 2am ). They were chatting non-stop I couldn't think of how to get in there. Then my tea arrived and the bus boy placed a huge bottle of honey next to my tea cup. I said ( really loud and confident ) "Excuse me honey!". She turned, looked at me pretty annoyed like "what?" and I said "oh I was talking to my honey" and I pointed at the bottle. She actually lol. Then her gf tried to cockblock cause they were dressed up and i was in sweats ( i looked like shit was not in party mode ). So I had to resort to touching ( her neck, knee, etc). I was very sweet to her ahole gf. Got her number.. Few nights ago I fucked up though w a different girl. ( dont make this mistake ). Me and my nerdy buddy see two 10s at a bar ( Los Angeles ). By far the hottest blondes in the bar. I do my thing with the first one and to my shock it doesnt work. Like no matter what I say she wont let me buy her a drink. That rarely happens but these chicks had at least 2 inches on me with their heels and were basically smoking hot and they knew it. I gently push them out of the way, get in front of them and offer to buy my buddy a drink. Im in a great mood and it's apparent that the rejection had no effect on me. Which leads to her gf somehow standing next to me and making eye contact. She hints at wanting a drink I hint that they fucked that up already. We end up chatting for like 7 min. I make her talk, she's rambling about how's she's modeled since she was 16 but now that she turned 22 she wants to be a creative producer and work on an hbo show blah blah. She asks for my name, then at some point I introduce her to my nerdy friend who's standing next to us. My friend used to run the bar we were all at before it got bought out by these twin brothers. Anyway I thought it was an interesting fact and I mentioned it. "This is "--" he used to run this bar when it was called "---". ( btw we're at the most happening bar in LA). She looks at me and goes. Really ? Im like no I'm serious and I throw some details and she just walks away to my shock. My friend said 'it sounds crazy, even if it's true dont say that' . Moral of this boring story- dont ever say anything that might come off like you're trying to impress. Even if it's true... I'm a pretty confident dude but I'm only 5'9 and I like taller girls ( 5'7 and up ) and in LA 6'1 dudes are everywhere. So once I stopped giving a fuck about that and just did my thing I still get rejected 1 out of 10 times. Online I was getting rejected like 9 out of 10 times. Real life is much better ( unless you're a super awkard pretty boy ). Im in my thirties now, definetely not super hot or anything and when I approach and casually chat them up with confidence- most of them melt. Imagine if you did that with your good looks ? Girls love confident charming guys i guarantee you. Lastly this might be helpful: I rarely think about what I'll say before I aproach. I usually think about what I'll say while I'm walking up to her. I dont wait for eye contact, all Im trying to figure out is if she's cute enough and if there's a bf somewhere in the bathroom or buying a drink. Once i figure that out i just go. Usually im in the middle of talking to a friend and i just take off, i dont even say excuse me ( i later appologize to him ). I used to wait for my friend to finish his thought but then I would find myself getting a bit nervous. I basically take action before i have a chance to get nervous. Lastly, contrary to popular belief on reddit getting rejected is bad. Sure at first it's cute and all that and you learn from it but if you're getting rejected repeatedly as a grown man you'll start doubting yourself. very dangerous. So it's ok to be a tiny bit nervous but if you're really nervous dont do it. you'll get shutdown or if you're cute and young they might feel sorry for you and be sweet about friendzoning you. girls dont fuck nervous guys. Start chatting up girls you're not interested in and build your game until you know what works. Btw I mostly date preppy, rocker, hipster or slutty types. I dont have much experience with "basic bitches" but im sure same rules apply.

2015-01-21T04:18:31+00:00

I've gone to a psychiatric hospital because i wasn't able to contre the right side of my brain. I'm better now. I hope...

PRseduc · 2015-01-21T08:37:57+00:00

The main myth in seduction for me was that you will always get rejected a lot. FALSE. I dont go to the gym, I dont eat healthy, I am not the most social man in the planet, and i damn sure dont get rejected a lot. Of course, when you are starting out you will get rejected like a madman. After that pain period of hell on earth is over with I never got rejected nearly as much, if ever on a lot of nights. In turn, you will have random nights that are extremely rare where you will get rejected for the whole night by almost all girls.

Title	Successful Sedditors, what did you do on your path of self-improvement to get to where you're at?
Author	niggawitabadback
Upvotes	14
Comments	37
Date	January 20, 2015 11:48 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2t3yvr/successful_sedditors_what_did_you_do_on_your_path/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/successful-sedditors-what-did-you-do-on-your-path.1382647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382647

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