Texting between dates - Need honest opinions on what you do, and advice on my current situation

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-01-06T18:30:44+00:00

I don't know where the idea that texting should only be for logistics came from, probably from dudes who can't text for shit. You should absolutely be keeping in contact with her between dates. It's important to maintain that attraction or else she will forget about you.

For example, I was speaking to two of my very close platonic female friends regarding this. They told me they expect contact/texting between the date, else they'd think he doesn't care or isn't interested. This sorta surprised me to an extent. I was also reading on Reddit from replies from girls, and this sentiment also seems to be prevalent - that girls expect texts in between. My ex 2 years ago also mentioned something like this - that I didn't text her as much, and she felt unwanted because of this.

Exactly. Girls want to make sure you're still interested. Why would they waste their time with a guy who immediately defaults to radio silence after confirming a date when there's another guy who is keeping their interest through text at the same time?

Don't go overboard or become needy with it, but don't disappear either. Literally just be a normal person and stop playing dumb games like actively avoiding texting.

I was going to text her later today asking her her wine preferences, as I'm going to the store later tonight. It sorta breaks this 'lull' and is genuinely something I need to ask her about. Any opinions on this situation?

Yes, do it.

For girl 2, I don't think texting for logistics will work - she is initiating all the convos, and 'texting for logistics' may mean she thinks I'm ignoring her

I'm personally not a fan of the neediness she is displaying with all the good morning texts, but I think the best approach here for you is to not take her too seriously and just go with it. Assume she might end up flaking or forgetting about your date in case she actually does (this way it won't be such a big deal for you), but don't stop talking to her either. If she's initiating a lot, just go with the flow.

oceanstwelve · 2022-01-06T18:57:30+00:00

i will be honest i didnt go into the specific girl situations.

as for texting:

there is no black and white answer.

what the point is that you avoid engagement and conversations in text to keep your mystery alive. your goal is hook up and/or relationship right?? if you are an open book on text. why would a girl bother??

so texts should be minimal . 3-4 back and forth. full of flirting humor and setting up dates. but dont start talking on texts

once you finally connect with someone and the "dating" is established. or become a couple. then you do as much texting as you want. as ur couple dynamic permits.

also no offense (to anyone), dont discuss your game with girls much...

genuine women always say that even they dont understand what they want or why they end up liking someone.

its common sense. a girl is interested in 2 guys. A and B. A keeps texting, A is now more and more known than compared to B . so B will intrigue her , B will be mysterious, B will be more attractive.

now A might be the ONE for her. but this is dating, not husband selection. extrapolate this to lot of numbers since girls usually have lot of options. that makes texting usually not favourable.

(remember this is about dating and seduciton, a girl who knows what she wants and if she finds you perfect will just focus on you no matter what. whether you text her 24 hours or not at all, while she having 1000 other options.)

LordCarnifex · 2022-01-06T18:15:32+00:00

As far as texting goes, I think it's smart to generally stick to replying when they text first unless you're confirming the day before (or the wine thing is fine too). For girl 1, I think it's fine to text her to let you know her wine preferences now or else she's getting a leathery cabernet. If that blows up your spot then she wasn't high interest.

You don't need to ignore girl 2. If girl 2 is sending you texts you can reply, I just wouldn't be the one initiating them. As you get a couple days away from the date you can respond to something she ends with "looking forward to x day." You don't have to be inscrutable and cold. The goal isn't to appear uninterested -- the goal is to avoid seeming super eager.

staysteve-28 · 2022-01-06T17:55:05+00:00

I love this. I’m invested! Lol it’s so nice to get into the male mind and see things from a perspective outside my own. Dating comes with so many nuances. I tend to overthink, but the texting between dates is great when I’m super into someone.

PimpinAndreTheGod · 2022-01-06T20:58:16+00:00

Fuck this texting bullshit, that is for simps and beta males. Women are the ones that are usually on their phones all the time, men shouldnt be because we have better priorities and much more important things to focus on.

With that being said, interactions over text are lame AF, like someone said, use texting only to set up real life dates, forget all this bullshit, like good morning texts and other nonsense.

JAE_7502 · 2022-01-06T19:16:15+00:00

I just use texting for setting up the first date. I tell them I'd rather talk and get to know them in person. After the first date is done I will usually text them once between the first date ending and the second date. Just something light and flirty so the week isn't completely silent. If we are eventually in a relationship then I will text more and keep more frequent contact.

I don't like to get roped into daily long text conversations with someone I am not in a relationship with. I find that is also a good way for them to lose interest pretty quick when you are always available early on. Plus I have other things to do anyways.

Probably best not to ask your female friends about this. They will tell you they want daily texts then turn around and drop a guy who does that for someone who they don't hear from as often.

Decumulate · 2022-01-06T22:08:04+00:00

Texting - it really depends on your ability to convey a personality over text. Some guys are absolutely horrible at it. Others sound more interesting over text than they are in real life. That’s why there’s no single answer. However - if you’re asking this question, it’s probably best to keep it simple and only respond when she does - worst scenario is to come off as needy over texts.

wondorous · 2022-01-06T23:24:06+00:00

I think it’s a good idea to keep in contact with dates early on. Maybe not to the “good mornings” extent, but if dates are a week+ apart, then maybe initiate something every other day or so? Doesn’t have to be much, but a random thought - especially if it relates to something that you were talking about with her before.

I had a girl last year that hit me with the good morning texts after date 1 or 2. I didn’t intend to get into a continual texting thing with her but she was always initiating. Eventually, her texting slowed down and she broke things off. Not really sure why. But in hindsight; I think if I had initiated a few times in there and gave some bold compliments and things like “good morning beautiful,” that she would have appreciated that. Like 75% her and 25% me when it comes to initiating.

But my rule of thumb is that I will message someone when I have something to say. Hope this helps.

Title	Texting between dates - Need honest opinions on what you do, and advice on my current situation
Author	BouncyShroom
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	January 6, 2022 5:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rxkf4s/texting_between_dates_need_honest_opinions_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/texting-between-dates-need-honest-opinions-on-what.1269562 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269562

Comments