The most critical error men make in the initial stages of dating--especially if the woman is beautiful--is to emotionally invest in her prematurely.

If he believes that she is out of his league, or other false assumptions, he will begin to feel that the woman (whom he barely knows) is his one opportunity to be with someone remarkable. This is where things begin to fall apart. He begins to fantasize about a future with her, internally projects his hopes and desires onto her, and skews his perception of her actual level of attraction to him, so that he believes she wants him just as badly.

He eventually puts too much pressure on himself to succeed with his 'one shot' and begins to act unnaturally. Things stop being fun. When she senses this, loses attraction, and pulls away, he responds by either sending overbearing texts, unexpectedly expresses his emotions in dramatic fashion, or lashes out with passive-aggressive behavior. At this point, it's extremely difficult to turn the tide back in his favor.

When a mindset of scarcity is adopted early on, it sets him on a path for failure-- he is solely focused on the end-result, rather than letting the relationship unfold naturally as it should.

When resources are scarce, it is our natural inclination to panic and do everything we can to maintain those resources, often illogically. The same applies to sex and relationships if there is a perceived scarcity.

When a mindset of abundance is adopted, the woman he once put on a pedestal is now one of thousands of women who are equally as beautiful, intelligent, charismatic, or any of the other qualities he is seeking in someone. These other women out there may be different than her, but they are just as appealing.

With this mindset, if things don't work out with this woman, so be it. He is now only limited by is his motivation to seek out new people, and tolerate potential rejection.

Along with adopting an abundance mindset, some general tips for the first few dates:

  • Don’t get emotionally invested too early. Focus simply on both of you having fun and making her feel comfortable.
  • Ask (interesting) questions. She should be doing most of the talking.
  • Avoid fantasizing about being in a relationship with her early on. Be present, and enjoy your time. Again, the sole focus is FUN.
  • You want her to associate you with positive emotions early on. Avoid topics of exes, or anything too heavy or dark. If you talk about something that's personally difficult, put a positive spin on it, or how you learned from it.
  • However, don't be afraid to disagree with her in a centered, calm manner.
  • Only compliment her if you really mean it, not as a means to earn 'points' with her. Mean it, say it, don't expect anything in return.
  • Date other women until you have an actual conversation about being exclusive and agree to it. This prevents you from being needy/jealous. If she asks, don’t rub it in her face, but let her know she’s your priority. If you decide to be exclusive, cut it off with the others
  • Plan the date, time, place when you will meet up, then run it by her. Pick something YOU are interested in as well. It will show your personality and that you care/can take charge
  • Avoid movie dates. You want either a date where you are talking, or doing an activity together where you are interacting consistently.
  • Nighttime dates are best. Coffee/breakfast dates give the impression that you are her buddy. Night dates build more sexual tension.
  • If sex doesn’t occur by the third date, it usually means you are not being sexual enough around her, or her attraction level to you isn't. There is a difference between being sexual and being lusty/creepy.
  • Pick a cologne based on what makes you feel bold and confident, not necessarily what she likes. Don't be obnoxious with it though.
  • Offer to pick her up. The less she has to plan, the more relaxed she will be and will associate you with positive emotions. Never ask her to pick you up.