I went out tonight to a club to see a bunch of bands playing. I wasn't entirely expecting it to be a good place to meet girls, as it's not the kind of music girls are generally drawn too. I got there, and scoped out the place. I was not surprised; there were maybe five pretty girls in the place out of hundreds of people, and two of them were clearly underage and with their dad, and another one had the X on her hand that means "under 21" and I'm not really interested in kids. So, there's maybe two girls in the whole place I could possibly want to hit on, and a few chubby or unfortunate looking girls mostly with their chubby or unfortunate looking boyfriends.

Here's where I started making mistakes.

I spotted a girl that I really thought was cute. Exactly my type. Cute, petite, quiet, hair in pigtails (this is important to the story). She walked near me, and we made eye contact; it was inconclusive eye contact, as she didn't smile or give me any sense that she wanted me to talk to her. But, I should have stopped her right then. My excuse was that the music was too loud, and I'd look like an idiot trying to carry on a conversation.

This "music is too loud" problem also prevented me from making friends of the people around me. I should have been building a social circle immediately. I didn't. I only talked to a handful of people, and those conversations didn't go anywhere. Honestly, the loud music did pretty much screw this up. It's just really hard to carry on any kind of conversation at a show like that. It makes it a much harder place to make friends.

I kept checking her out through the night, planning to drag her in if she walked by again. For those playing along at home, this is also a mistake. It's creepy to keep looking at a girl all night, no matter how cute you think she is or how innocent your gaze. My excuse of the music being too loud doesn't matter to her creeper instincts. I either needed to forget about her and just hope that I would accidentally run into her later in the night, or talk to her immediately after first eye contact. No matter how nice I think I am, or how respectable I think I look, this is grade A creeper behavior. I reverted to my old self, as I was in a familiar environment (except I would have never talked to her in my old self; just hoped for some sort of sign that she was interested).

I also told myself that because no one had talked to her all night, that she would be grateful for some attention. Really cute girl, after all, probably gets some attention in other environments and might have been feeling the loss of it here.

End of the show, I tapped her on the shoulder as she was sort of wandering around looking like she wasn't sure whether she wanted to leave or have a smoke or get a beer. When she looked at me, I said, "C'mere for a sec." When I had her full attention, I said with a big smirking smile, "Can I pull your pigtails?"

I had several expected responses in my head. I expected (and I think with enough experience behind me for these to be reasonable expectations) one of the following:

  1. "No!" with a shocked look. Possibly a laugh, because it is a bit of a shocking way to start a conversation. This would have been fine, and easy to respond to.
  2. "OK!" with a laugh. If I'd been in state, had conversations going with a lot of people throughout the night, and pulled her into a group of laughing people, this is what would have happened, I'm pretty sure, and obviously, it's easy to go from there.
  3. "What?! Why do you want to pull my pigtails?" With either a shocked look or a smile or a confused look. No problem. I'd just say, "because they're cute, and my sister used to wear her hair in pigtails and she'd let me tug on them."

What she actually did was turn deadly serious. We're talking black eyes looking at me like she'd just noticed that I was actually something gross and deeply offensive she'd found on her shoe. No mistaking this look for mock indignation; she just wasn't having this conversation. She then said, "No" in the dullest, flattest, most emotionless voice I've heard in years. My stomach clenched, my face, I'm sure, gave plenty of indication of the shock and awe she'd just inflicted on my emotional state.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "fuck off!" said with some emotion is better than a polite, flat, response. But, this took the flat response to a new level...there was no politeness here. Just quiet hostility. There was simply nothing to work with, and I just put up my hands to show my innocent intent, and said, "Wow. OK." and walked away.

Here's the thing, after the shock wore off (I've honestly never gotten this kind of response before; I've gotten polite blowoffs before many times, but this one was uniquely biting), while I was riding home, I actually started laughing about it.

It hit me that the other possible outcome here would have been much worse: I could have come home without talking to her, and then beaten myself up over not finding out whether she might be the right girl for me. Sure, I regret making all the mistakes I made working up to the approach, but at the end of the night, I had two choices, to talk to her or not, and talking to her was obviously the best of those choices.

I also honestly think the opener was awesome. Since she didn't bite, I'm pretty sure that means she's not my kinda girl, despite appearances.

I also learned that there are some situations that are better than others for meeting girls. Sunday I went out and met dozens of pretty girls, and nearly all of those conversations went well. Sometimes the environment just isn't working on your side. But, again, I think I've finally come to the point where I'd rather take the chance (even a small one) on getting to know a girl that I like the looks of, rather than avoiding an uncomfortable response.

I think I can call tonight a success, despite my embarrassing blowout, and reversion to AFC ways for most of the night.