What do I even talk about?

hunterpua · 2025-09-29T18:39:41+00:00

I usually have around 10 minute long conversations with women I approach but your plan is a totally solid one.

I've been doing this for 16 years and even though my convos are longer now and we actually go into meaningful topics, my first 5 years was me doing stuff more similarly to what you're thinking of doing.

There's pros and cons to both approaches.

Conversational

Pros: Higher success rate, higher conversion rate, more seductive (i.e. You can get her much more eager to eventually have sex with you)

Cons: Much longer learning curve, more time and energy consuming, not as good for filtering out girls that play games

Forward

Pros: Filters for girls who would end up more straightforward with you, less drama in the early stages, time saving, more or less a catch-all for the majority of approach situations

Cons: lower success rate and conversion rate, doesn't really develop your social skills and doesn't have much application outside of dating, doesn't even get you to be the best date, FWB, boyfriend, or husband you can be

The reason I liked being more forward when I was younger was basically because I was lazy. I didn't wanna do a lot of thinking. I didn't wanna have to adjust to many situations. I just wanted a one and done way of doing things.

And hey, it has a lower success rate but I wouldn't call it a shitty success rate. It got me a girlfriend of 3 years at the time, as well as a bunch of FWBs that all knew I was seeing other women. Even got a handful of beauty pagent girls with the approach.

The main reason I shifted to a more conversational and social style was because I had noticed that even if I had a pretty good dating life, my social skills in other areas and my ability to handle my relationships with my friends and with that girl I dated for 3 years was still pretty shit.

Just saying what you're thinking and expecting that from everyone without being that good at reading social cues and responding accordingly isn't exactly top tier social skills.

That and the fact that a social approach is much more seductive really appealed to me. After about 6 months of making that shift, every girl I had sex with was the one who asked, and often times begged for sex.

It was also easier to make that shift because I already had 5 years of experience so the learning curve didn't feel as steep as if I had just started with a more social and intricate approach.

You're in college so if you don't want to think about more serious stuff yet and you just wanna fuck around, being more forward is totally fine for that.

But once the rest of your life, your relationships, and just being as amazing of an encounter as you can be to a girl starts mattering to you more, you may wanna shift to a more social and intricate style, and actually learn how to build comfort, flirt, and make women chase you.

jackthehat6 · 2025-09-29T19:07:46+00:00

that's fine. there's not much more too it

You could do a load of pushpull and cold reads and qualification adn disqualifaction etc, but there's not really any point. It's not gonna turn a no into a yes, so yeah, just talk normally and see if she's down to hang out or not

Creative_Wallaby_439 · 2025-09-29T17:40:00+00:00

Dont focus on that yet. You gotta start small with just making comments to strangers about something situational, then progress that into making the interaction fun.

Having a mindset of self-ammusement helped me, I go into interactions wanting nothing but the chance of a fun moment in time. All you need for self amusement is to view everything through absurdism. We're literally on a rock floating through space at high speeds, that's actually quite hilarious if you think about it.

People like fun, and girls just want to have fun. You won't vibe with everyone, but through repetition you'll get better.

But dont take this too far and be someones clown. You gotta do fun, difficult things if you want interesting stories and experiences to share, your life should be plentiful that others want to join in.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-09-29T19:11:01+00:00

You keep the initial approach short, simple, and to the point. In fact, use a time constraint to exit the interaction and see if she will agree to hang out to continue talking.

As for subject matter after you greet her and she responds positively, use the o.s.a. communication method. Observe, share, ask. This is a good base for interacting with anybody you want. Make an observation based on the present moment whether it be about her or the surrounding environment or the social situation at hand, and share your opinion and ask hers. You can get away with sharing what kind of an animal that a cloud in the sky looks like, you can really use anything.

When you get to the date, you want to pair o.s.a. with conversational threading. That is where you pick a key word the other person says and branch the conversation off of that. Even if you completely change the subject using that key word or phrase, it makes sense because the other person was first to bring it up. This way you never run out of material...even if you do, don't be afraid of silence, take a power pause and look at her eyes like 007 does until she either giggles or continues talking.

burncushlikewood · 2025-09-29T19:46:10+00:00

Ask her questions, make comments, be playful, make jokes, relax and be confident

Universesgoldenchild · 2025-09-29T23:40:11+00:00

Talk about her. And very little about yourself. That’s all. “You like eggs? That’s so cool. Do you like eggs with toast? What about just toast?” This context, It’s this simple. She’ll probably ask “do you like eggs?” Revert, “yeah I like eggs. so scrambled or sunny side up?”

I’ve learned the more you open yourself up too soon, the more she has a reason to disqualify. Don’t give her that reason. She probably likes scrambled eggs, even if she doesn’t.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-29T17:58:04+00:00

It should be easier than ever on a college campus. This current Gen Z generation is full of guys afraid of their own shadow. Many students live there, are bored, and have tons of free time. Don't worry about the content, just get a conversation started and grab her number.

Approaches are tougher after college since you're outside of that college bubble and people have actual lives and real problems to deal with. Plus, anyone approaching is also assumed to be someone either asking for money or trying to sell something if it's on the street. When I used to approach women still in my business suit, they'd often be quick to say "not interested" before I even got a word in.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-09-29T18:06:53+00:00

Yes your plan sounds good. Go do that

Title	What do I even talk about?
Author	Destroyerofworl
Upvotes	22
Comments	8
Date	September 29, 2025 5:25 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nto811/what_do_i_even_talk_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-i-even-talk-about.1563098 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563098

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