So I'm styling my hair this morning, and I realized a small, but huge thing -- don't care about your appearance past maybe the first 5 minutes that you spend in the morning attempting to look nice.

Appearance is emphasized as part of attracting others (girls like hot guys, duh we all learned that already!), but more importantly it is also part of inner-game. People who think they look good are more confident: this is attractor, not how good you actually look to others.

However, a lot of my friends when they go out have the appearance thing down pat, but they forget it is more important for themselves to feel like they look good then it is actually for them to look good to others.

Example. My guy friend one night had a loose thread hanging out of his dress shirt (the one that's part of his "fuck-I-can-do-anything-tonight-since-I'm-wearing-this-outfit" outfit), but it was clearly not that noticeable to the people he was interacting with.

So what was the problem? He noticed it, and since he placed such a high value on his dress shirt, he kept fidgeting with the thread trying to it off -- this is the action that many the people around his realized. It made him seem not confident, since to him the thread was a big deal.

I realized this while styling my hair, because I place too much of a high value on my hair (no not gay!), and when I mess up my hair I get fidgety. And the funny thing is -- the hair looks perfect to other people, but to me it's a raven nest from Hell sitting on top of my head.

So the lesson: care about your appearance before you leave your house. But after that, say "fuck it" since you can't change anything anyways. Be confident in your new snazzy dress shirt, but stay confident even if it turns into a potato bag through the night. Don't get oneitis about clothing.