Why Can't I Approach

ratfooshi · 2024-09-29T11:11:57+00:00

Baby step that mf.

I'm talking tiny.

Accidentally bump into someone "sorry"
Ask the bartender for a water
Catch eyes with a girl and smile

Seduction works like a snowball. It thrives off momentum.

Just start the spec and let it unfold.
Who knows what the night can turn into.

7asas · 2024-09-29T19:17:38+00:00

Two possible ways.

Hard and effective, rip that band aid off.

In this step you basically muster all your courage and walk up to a girl and say: "hello." Then WAIT as she says "hellooo....?" You say "I saw you and thought you look cute in this dress" and repeat this for a few more times on the same session. It will make you scared and act dumb. But hey... Your progress will be faster in beating this problem.

Very important step, do this in 10-15 min max, or you will walk around city for hours and waste your time

Easy, but takes time variation.

Just step a girl, and ask for directions. Or just say hello passing by. Then once you can do this resonably comfortable. Do the same thing again, but add another sentence or a question or some observation. And continue until you can finally tell girl that she looks cute or made you interested in some other way.

Basically, two options

I did option 2 myself and it took around 2-3 weeks because I had horrible anxiety. But don't be afraid, actually girls are nice to you like 99% of times. And you get like 1 in a 100, who basically tells you to piss off because she is messed up or on a period or had horrible day or everything at once. But those horrible once are actually very very rare

selfimprovementman21 · 2024-09-29T20:35:39+00:00

Too much outcome dependence

norwegiandoggo · 2024-09-29T06:41:15+00:00

Start with a smaller goal. Baby steps. If approaching hot women is a problem. Try to approach someone less hot first. If hitting on them is a problem, try an indirect approach first where you talk to them without hitting on them.

epimpstyle · 2024-09-29T10:37:55+00:00

As I wrote to another guy, it looks like you have no motivation or your motivation to approach girls is not strong enough. I bet if someone gave you $10k to approach a girl in the next 5 minutes, you would jump out of your chair and approach the first girl you saw on the street, maybe even run on the street to find girls to approach them. That is when the motivation is high enough.

I feel like any girl I'm attracted to is not interested and would laugh at me if I started a conversation

In many cases laughing is a symptom of shyness, don't take it as something bad because the other person might just be shy and this is how they react. Also if a girl laughs at you then I bet you don't want to know her because you want a girlfriend who is nice and friendly not arrogant.

say hi to a girl I think is pretty

Don't be picky, all girls look good with the right makeup. The only difference is their weight and shape. See how some women look with and without makeup HERE

I can hardly look at them

When I read that, I remembered my attitude a few years ago when I was exactly like that. Actually, I just pretended not to look at them, but I still looked at them in a creepy way because it is hard to look at someone and pretend not to be interested. For me, it was a kind of stupid thought that if I don't look at her, I look interesting to her, I'm superior to her, I'm smarter and richer and somehow magically she will be amazed by me and she will start talking to me like in the movies (never happen this). However, after she left, I felt like the dumbest guy on the planet for the rest of the day because I chose my 30 seconds of personal satisfaction of thinking I was smarter/richer than her instead of starting a small conversation. Looking at them without talking is creepy, look what happened to me in Ukraine last year when I was walking down the street behind two girls, one of them literally told me she thought I was stalking her - VIDEO.

adamparkar12 · 2024-09-30T01:44:46+00:00

that means you cant control your mind, start controlling it

Bigboy7252 · 2024-09-30T16:15:06+00:00

I found in night game what helped me get rid of my approach anxiety was literally seeing someone I liked call them over or go up to them and say hey I think their cute and ask for their information. Don’t even worry about whether you’ll close or not because that’s not your goal your just trying to get passed step one. And honestly especially at a club you’ll be surprised that a lot of them will want to see you later without even saying more than 10 words to them😭. I would advise you do this somewhat sober because if you do it almost at a blackout you’re not really accomplishing anything.

miyass_miyass · 2024-09-29T09:41:24+00:00

Almost everyone goes through this starting out. Use the same advice on progressive desensitisation that everyone else uses.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-09-29T09:41:41+00:00

You need to change your words. You are hypnotising yourself to fail.

Whenever I go out at night with the sole intention of meeting girls, I feel like any girl I'm attracted to is not interested and would laugh at me if I started a conversation. I know it's not the case but no matter how much I tell myself that it doesn't change how courageous I am. I'm aware of how rejection is very common but it feels like my nervous system will do anything to prevent me from approaching or being confident around girls.

I rewrote your words.

I am confident and capable of starting conversations with ease. Each interaction is an opportunity to make a new friend and share my positive qualities. I embrace small steps and celebrate my progress. I am calm, relaxed, and open to new experiences. Rejection is a natural part of life, and it helps me grow stronger. I trust in my ability to connect with others and enjoy the journey.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-09-29T09:53:10+00:00

Look at the positive part you got laid and you had to make no effort. It reminds me of me I used to do the same. It seems to me the girls who want you aren't the ones you desire.

I started meditating and in doing so became relaxed.

Then I started practising on people every day usually servers in shops.
Age or status sex doesn't matter.

You are trying to cultivate the energy of a cool person.
I'm still shy and an introvert but I drive through it.

The other day I'm in a shop and the new girl at the counter was extremely attractive. No lies I actually was nervous but then she got stuck in the transaction so I told her how to reset the machine. Then I said " Look I'm training you up on your job here you should be paying me " in a jovial way. She laughed and smiled.
All these things are little wins every day to drive you to your goal.

I found the more confident you are the more uneasy a girl is when you approach her.
Talking to women is way easier than men. The reason is men are logical women are open to any idea under the sun.
Practicing every day will make it very easy to talk to random women.

Title	Why Can't I Approach
Author	Cold-Couple8387
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	September 29, 2024 6:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fry95j/why_cant_i_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-cant-i-approach.1531443 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531443

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