Why do dating coaches advise against approaching in the gym?

ExcitableSarcasm · 2025-10-13T00:29:43+00:00

Primarily it's because if it doesn't work out, you're stuck with potentially awkward situations where you run into the same people again and again.

Also for a lot of guys gym is a place to focus and refine their mind and body. Making it yet another place where you can't "relax" is not great in their eyes.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-10-13T01:10:14+00:00

Approaching as in asking for her number or “hitting on” her; of course not, it’s just common sense.

Approaching as in just trying to introduce your name and make a small talk so in the next few days or weeks you can slowly develop more interactions with her but only in 1 condition that she reciprocates; I’d say yes but needs to be done delicately.

entitledwank · 2025-10-13T00:40:05+00:00

if you see a girl you want to talk to in the gym then go for it.

coaches advise you not to hang around the squat rack and staring at their ass then asking them if men or women lie more

markemusic · 2025-10-13T06:09:11+00:00

I think it's just better to build rapport over time as opposed to approaching to close a date or get a number. Different dynamic in the gym in my opinion

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-10-13T02:58:16+00:00

It's an unwritten rule. Some gym's will kick you out for it too.

MsJenX · 2025-10-13T00:39:53+00:00

Here’s kind of involved take. So I know that seduction, dating, love, and relationships includes sex and dating someone that turns you on but for some women they don’t want to be seen as sex objects.

So at the gym we are wearing tight clothing, we are bending and moving awkwardly, and sometimes breathing hard or making grunts or other weird noises. The gym is where we go with a goal in mind and it’s not sex, generally. So if a guy approaches us to ask us out some women may not appreciate being seen like a potential sex partner when we were in a compromised position that was not intended to signal “I want sex”.

Brilliant_Travel3587 · 2025-10-13T02:16:24+00:00

Same for workplace pick up

Dandys3107 · 2025-10-13T02:38:28+00:00

I think it's because most girls don't want to be bothered as they are focused on their workout. If approaching in the gym would become a normal thing, attractive girls would probably have a hard time dealing with guys constantly wanting her attention. But, it does not mean you cannot approach a girl there, but you should be extra mindful, read signs of interest, start casually as a normal social conversation. Probably she attends the gym regularly, so you have some time to go slow and not leave bad impression even if she eventually shows clearly whether she just enjoys casual interactions or want something more.

justmots · 2025-10-13T11:02:37+00:00

Because you can get kicked out.

drkWater · 2025-10-13T12:20:59+00:00

You should be focusing on your own gains. They will give you proximity. Smile and focus on your gains. Proximity + in between sets say hi, this gym is great, it’s quiet and you can really focus.. or the energy is great in here when it’s busy …open, with no intentions. Don’t linger don’t expect more conversation, get back to your work.

It needs to feel serendipitous. If you’re thinking about sex before she does you’re toast.

If you like that gym and the time you go, you’re flirting with having to find a new one. But if you’re focused on your self they will come to you.

Perspective777x · 2025-10-15T16:07:29+00:00

It’s better to get know them overtime, and even then be judicious as to whether to go for it. Warm leads vs. cold leads.

Sebastes-aleutianus · 2025-10-13T03:52:00+00:00

Uh-huh, man. Try to approach professional athletes then if your standards are so high. P.S. in this case you would need to approach security first.

Title	Why do dating coaches advise against approaching in the gym?
Author	AscensionInProcess
Upvotes	1
Comments	33
Date	October 13, 2025 12:21 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1o557v4/why_do_dating_coaches_advise_against_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-dating-coaches-advise-against-approaching.1564006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564006

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