I've been in the dating/success-with-women space for over a decade now.

Social Dynamics and Attraction psychology is pretty much second-nature to me at this point, and I understand how these things work on a very, very intimate level...

Obviously, by way of immersive hands-on experience (tons of trial-and-error, failure, and testing out dozens of tweaks) with approaching and sleeping with hundreds of attractive women.

(not trying to flex, just want to give you guys some context).

For those of you that think I'm an idiot for saying this, let me be explicitly clear:

If you're a genetically gifted, male model-looking guy, AWESOME.

-You WILL catch women checking you out
-You WILL notice women showing more of a willingness to talk to you
-You WILL experience a lot less friction while approaching women compared to a guy who doesn't look as good as you

But if you think women are going to just look at you and want to jump into bed with you just because you look like a model...

BROTHER, you're in for a massive reality check. =D

Here's where the disconnect lies for the folks who think looks are everything:

As a man, you can look at a hot girl and feel a primal urge to have sex with her.

Why? Because a woman's attractiveness is tied to the way she looks:

Her visual appeal, which is her facial features, hair, waist-to-hip ratio, etc.

She's hot? Perfect. You're down to sleep with her.

But for a woman screening you as a potential mate, it goes deeper than just your looks. It's about what you're made of as a man:

  1. How self-assured are you? How secure are you in yourself as a man?
  2. Are you assertive enough to take charge and lead her through an exciting, emotionally electrifying conversation?
  3. Are you comfortable in your own skin around a girl this hot? Or do you get nervous and fidgety?
  4. Can you stay solid when she throws tension at you (rage-baiting, random pullbacks, stubborn no's when you suggest something, etc.) or do you get reactive and butthurt?
  5. Do you have aura/charisma? Can you make her feel excited, alive, and giggly... and giddy ;) ?
  6. What does your body language look like? Can you hold steady eye contact with her, or do you flinch?
  7. Are you needy and constantly chasing her approval?
  8. Do you have options with her women (more so, women as attractive as her)
  9. Are you funny? Can you tease and flirt with her smoothly (in a way that actually lands) or do you bore her to death with play-it-safe logical small talk?
  10. Are you comfortable in expressing your sexuality as a man without being weird/creepy (a lot of guys mess this up)?
  11. Do you call her out when she does something that's "not cool" or do you let her get away with it because you want to avoid confrontation?

And others.

Sure, your "handsomeness" will get your foot in the door. Women will be intrigued enough to give you their time of day and get to know you.

But after that, it's all about how much "personal gravity" you have- charisma, chemistry, wit, flirtation, polarity, emotional non-reactivity, etc.

If you lack personal gravity, she's just not going to feel the primal urges she needs to, to want to get with you:

Because what she really responds to on a DNA-level is masculine presence, behavior, and personality.

To simplify things some more, she'll think you're handsome or cute, but not hot or sexy enough for her to feel aroused by you if that makes sense.

I won't blatantly lie to you and tell you that your presentation and grooming don't count.

They do.

If you go to the club or the mall wearing shabby, ill-fitting clothes, no one's going to want to talk to you because no one wants to talk to the weird, low-value dude.

You've gotta "look the part" to some degree.

Plus, looking aesthetically pleasing will reduce friction while starting interactions with women.

So definitely put in the work to look sharp- good fashion, cologne, sharp haircut, neat beard (if you have one). Not getting into the details.

But if you want to get girls actually investing their time and energy into talking to you, getting flirty with you, and potentially going home with you:

You HAVE to know how to carry yourself and communicate with women in a way that appeals to their feminine drives.

And your look alone ain't cutting it.

You need charisma. You need personal gravity. You need game.

Just the way you'd like a hot girl with the perfect face and body on your arm...

Women are sexually attracted to men that radiates strong and centered masculine energy, which is expressed through your personality and communication over the course of your interaction.

And this is exactly where the "looks-first" folks get it all wrong.

They think good looks = I'm getting laid, when in reality, it's your personality and energy that move the needle.

If you want consistency and quality in the girls you're dating or sleeping with...

You've got to learn how to communicate with women in a way that's attractive from the female gaze (BIG emphasis on the word "communicate")