Jealousy

basuragoddess · 2021-08-30T13:49:24+00:00

The most important part of FDS is that we are decentralizing men from our lives. I read a comment once here that said, “your internal dialogue should be about YOU”.

It’s not easy to shift the mindset and understand that you deserve the best. But the most important thing is that every time you catch yourself obsessing over an issue that is outside yourself - refocus. Choose instead to think about what is going on in your life, what you want to improve about yourself, etc. Put yourself first the way men do, and quit letting your valuable time and headspace be consumed with thoughts about male attention.

FDS has helped me elevate in so many ways, and I still have to remind myself to stop wasting my thoughts on men, on a daily basis. Women are raised to revolve around men and their needs, but we can break the cycle.

Think about what you’d like to work on in your life, and how to do that. Pick up hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. Spend time going down YouTube rabbit holes about things you find interesting. There are literally a thousand and one things you can choose to focus your thoughts on instead of male attention. Just keep at it - it is not hopeless, and this practice has infinitely more return than the former.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-08-30T13:54:05+00:00

First of all you need to stop beating yourself up. It's not going to make you feel any better. It will only make you feel worse thus making it harder to move on. So what if you fucked some people casually? Let it go. It's not like you killed anybody. And this isn't to be dismissive at all. But you didn't commit a mortal sin. Work to forgive yourself and let that go.

Second of all as for your friend, instead of being jealous try to learn from her. Talk to her about her philosophy and relationships and how she acts with men. Another possibility is that she might just be getting all these offers from men because she's a pushover or a pickme. Are these quality men who want to be with her? Are they generous and respectful? Are they non-abusive? Or is she being there Mommy caretaker and they're taking advantage?

If she seems to attract quality men then try to learn from her. Think of this as an opportunity. Pick her brain for all of her standards and values what she expects what she gives what she thinks are the most important things in a relationship.

wildprincessxxx · 2021-08-30T14:03:00+00:00

I've definitely felt this way before but instead of going to jealousy, I like to look at people's successful relationships and try to understand how they find that, because that's what I want as well. Just because your friend has many "options" doesn't make any of them valuable, and if you don't have a line of suitors at the moment, that doesn't make you undesirable. I think it's worth observing successful relationships to learn what makes two people work so well together, and set that as the standard for what you want for your next relationship. Maybe it's because she demands respect, vets her options heavily, and cuts off LVM at the first red flag. If you see friends with HVMs, take it as inspiration and level up yourself through FDS principles while you wait for HVMs to enter your life. In the interim, don't get desperate and settle - that's the most dangerous thing about jealousy, because you could fall into something that will only hurt you more in an attempt to emulate other relationships, but *a* relationship isn't what you want, it's a *successful* one that is worth building. This mentality might help you with detaching from seeking male validation. Good luck!

Repulsive-Ad1092 · 2021-08-30T11:54:54+00:00

What kind of relationship can you have with someone you started with as fwb? Quality>Quantity. PickMes have tons of offers because the only thing they ask for is attention.

Title	Jealousy
Author	poody456
Upvotes	63
Comments	5
Date	August 30, 2021 5:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/pec0us/jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/jealousy.1066230 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066230

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