Relationship with Daughter

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-11-30T22:10:43+00:00

Your STBXW is just pissed. Don't sweat it.

But you do need to get your ass out of the marital home and get your own place. It is not right that you are still there. You will completely fuck your co-parenting relationship by staying and since you were the one who cheated you need to leave.....yesterday. I dont care if you need to sleep in your car and shower in the gym, you made your bed so man up and deal with the consequences.

Once you take care of your new living arrangements your co-parenting relationship will be much better. Treat your ex with respect and be flexible and she will do the same for you. She will not throw you under the bus.

My ex wife was the cheater and I asked her to leave the marital home. She did. It took a long time to get over the betrayal and to stop hating her. Until that happened I faked being nice for the kiddos. I talk her up any opportunity I get to our kids. I did not throw her under the bus.

If my kid ever asks why we broke up the answer will be because we fell out of love with each other, no mention of infidelity. You were not the sole cause of the breakdown of your romantic relationship, neither was your affair partner. You were checked out long before you cheated - you and your STBXW are both 50% to blame for that. So the divorce is not all on you, but you handled it very poorly and need to get the fuck out to give your STBXW space and time to heal.

Efficient_Strength17 · 2024-11-29T17:49:37+00:00

I can't give you a divorced man's perspective but I can give you a kid's perspective. My dad cheated on my mom for almost my entire life. He didn't leave until I was 13/14.

After everything came out, he ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me. Rarely called unless my mom made him. And she stayed on top of his ass with everything. I saw him every saturday and hated it. I used to beg my mom to stop but she never did. She had a bad relationship with her dad and that was the last thing she wanted for me.

I hated him for a long time. He was my meal ticket for a while. And, I'll never forget the experience or trauma he invoked. Through the years, I've come around though. With time and maturity, I began to see the world in shades of gray-not black and white. Eventually, we got to at least respect each other.

My advice is to be up front and disclose as age appropriate. Don't hide that you made decisions that hurt your relationship. Rather, work through it. Acknowledge that you could have done better but live the example and show her you are a better person. I wish my dad would have at least been honest with me.

The other thing: don't talk down about your ex/STBX to them. My dad did that and it caused me to hate him even more. My mom is a saint and tried to hide everything from me. She still does. And I appreciate that she doesn't need to tear anyone down to build herself up.

regertsrus · 2024-11-29T14:23:34+00:00

That's nonsense. the only reason for a relationship to fail is lies. If you lie to her then it will fail. You cheating on her mom won't don't it alone. You don't need to worry about that as long as you didn't lie and you don't lie again if you did

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2024-11-29T10:21:16+00:00

I don’t know how old your daughter is. I also am not one that thinks airing out all the details is the best…

But, if she’s older, honesty and self reflection is always a good policy. If you were wrong admit it. What was the consequence? What did you learn from it? That sort of thing.

Don’t downplay it. Don’t ignore it. But be humble. An older child will appreciate the honesty even if she doesn’t condone the act.

GillaMobster · 2024-11-29T05:18:31+00:00

get into her ear first, your wifes about to. Don't poison it, but don't sit back and stay quiet.

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2024-11-29T04:22:23+00:00

It’s won’t fail but it will be hindered. Caught my dads infidelity and it completely shattered the pride and respect I had for him. However, he’s still my father. With time, I learned to move on as I internalized it as a younger version of myself. Now I realize it was my parents issue and had nothing to do with me.

If your kid finds out, be honest about what led you to the affair.

Title	Relationship with Daughter
Author	Good_Necessary_6937
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	November 29, 2024 4:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h2dgmr/relationship_with_daughter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/relationship-with-daughter.1537167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537167

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