How You Left?

Factastical · 2025-11-02T14:43:06+00:00

I left a pathologal liar and cheat quickly. Left my kids and my own home into roach motel hell. Left everything I called my own. She didn't stop there. When I recovered quickly and found a woman to make a new family with, she didn't like how the kids gravitated to me. To prevent the 50/50 split, she fired the silver bullets for years in court. Constant lies and a police and sheriff's and CPS. All in front of the kids. She eventually got in ALOT of trouble but the courts don't care about all the lies. She didn't even earn a slap on the wrist. Just allowed to withdraw the complaints and continue enjoying the status quo. My advice? Don't take it too serious. The courts don't. "In the best interest of the kids " is a clever farse to take YOUR money. Your kids are almost old enough to decide. You don't need a lawyer and child advocate. Before you sign custody, wait until the kids are older and more mature. They can decide and avoid the court clerk circle jerk. The courts will impose "adults make decisions". That too is a tactic to get you into more debt to the court and agents of. My youngest was 6 when I left. The years it stretched out and my slow rolling it was the best thing I did. By the time my youngest was 9, they were all mature enough to say they don't want the child lawyer around and they know how they want to split the parenting time. Well they all knew from the getgo. It's a conversation either you have with them or it's one you will need a clueless stranger to have at a nominal rate of $400 hourly. Don't let these people enter your kids lives is my advice. If you are likely to face a liar then this is a consideration for you. If she is not likely to lie then listen to the advice "dont leave the house". I had to leave. A liar will try to fuck you up if you stay after outing the lies. Putting a kink in the liars armor are fighting words. They don't tend to get better. The lies tend to grow and grow. Dont stay with a liar. Leave

47omek · 2025-11-01T21:10:11+00:00

You don't "leave" and you don't need to "ask" for divorce. You get an attorney and have them file for divorce while you remain in the home. You have a process server hand her a copy of the divorce petition. Don't tip her off before the filing because that opens you up to a bunch of pre-divorce shenanigans like false domestic violence accusations, her hiding or dissipating assets, or her playing keepaway with the children. You do not move out of the house without a custody order, preferable 50/50 parenting time, signed by a judge.

jarnock · 2025-11-01T19:15:02+00:00

After about 5 years of her treating me like you mentioned above, she told me she no longer wanted to have sex with me, I responded that’s why we need to get divorced. About 8 months later we were divorced, had to cohabitate for about 3 months where her behavior only worsened.

My advice is get everything ready (apartment)when you tell her you are going to divorce so you don’t have to cohabitate. Cut all unnecessary contact out, be prepared to lose some in the divorce, decide what you want fight for, expedite it as quickly as possible.

overarmur · 2025-11-01T02:52:03+00:00

You just have to rip the band aid. Over the phone, email, text, telegram, Morse code. All work.

Don't listen to people that say "you should be a man and do it in person." Nobody knows the details of your relationship. She could be violent. She might call the cops and try to get a domestic on you.

ClippedWinng · 2025-11-01T02:16:11+00:00

It's just one foot in front of the other. Everyone's path will vary, but the successful ones will include therapy, exercise, starting or restarting hobbies.

Once therapy and antidepressants helped me break her spell over me, I could see all the red flags I was ignoring. I stayed way longer than I should have. Long nightly walks by myself also helped me

Title	How You Left?
Author	One_Hot_Doggy
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	November 1, 2025 1:29 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1olbupc/how_you_left/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-you-left.1565490 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565490

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