What should I do?

gnackered · 2021-10-06T20:12:34+00:00

Okay, India. There divorce is frowned upon, I think the statistics are like 3% divorce rate. No kids, so that is good. Your family reputation will take a hit and you will be damaged goods if you divorce. I know an american from India, and from what I gather her first husband basically bailed and she was damaged good. They had to kiss ass to find another Indian guy for her to marry. This guy was a real asshole and a widower. It has been suggested that his first wife committed suicide (single vehicle car accident on a highway, car hit a tree). After 9 years and two kids they did divorce. So the cultural forces are a real limitation.

But look at it rationally. No kids, short marriage, it didn't work. I would get out and take the hit vs. suffer to maintain a reputation and make it worse by having kids.

AbstractAndroid · 2021-10-07T00:43:37+00:00

Welcome to the club buddy, you got yourself a “parasite” they latch on to the host and suck all the life out of you. Once you’re so beaten down, they find a new host to latch on to because they have no use for you anyone. They take everything and leave you to die. Find yourself an attorney, don’t let her ruin your life.

HelixFish · 2021-10-06T22:49:45+00:00

Is a lifetime of unhappiness worth… anything? Get a divorce. Things will absolutely get worse. No one is happy all the time, but there is no sense in blocking yourself from from future opportunities to be happy.

EternalFeather5 · 2021-10-06T19:03:15+00:00

I've had that same situation happening in my recent marriage, and now that her and I are separated, she's still trying to control what I do. It's as if her and I never got separated in the first place

hombredelgato · 2021-10-07T14:48:11+00:00

Get a therapist right away. Regardless of what path you take you're going to need someone who can help you learn from the experience and incorporate that knowledge into your life.

Learn about boundaries. If you can successfully incorporate boundaries into your relationship there is a chance. Honestly this is a very, very small chance, but that's something you have to decide and attempt after you understand the implications.

Watch Dr. Ramani on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani)

firstlight777 · 2021-10-07T15:20:56+00:00

All, most, women have a controlling nature, it's insecurity showing. This is the same story for almost every man. You let it hapoen. You need to take back your life and stop living it for her. Go to r/marriedredpill and start reading posts going back years. Get the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. You're the prize.

pacinor · 2021-10-07T15:53:36+00:00

This is exactly how my ex treated me. If you want to save the marriage you should get into couple’s therapy and each of you get individual therapists. I’m my case my ex was a covert narcissist and I am codependent. I lost all of my friends and cut off most of my family because of her. 20 years later and repairing those relationships is hard. They understand but it’s still hard.

LostSoul945 · 2021-10-08T07:34:17+00:00

I'm also thinking like, what would happen in my life after the divorce? Will I be able to get another partner, because she was my first & only relationship? What if my next partner is also similar to her, or even worse?

Graynal · 2021-10-07T16:53:50+00:00

You know what the main and only option is for you. Even though you say that divorce isn't an option it is. The main problem is that divorce is frowned upon in your culture. So one option is to make sure everything she does becomes public knowledge. Make sure your friends and family know about her outbursts. Take video, record audio...then share it around so that way when you do divorce her nobody will say you are being crazy. You can do it two different ways 1) you can send the videos/audio to your friends and family in secret so that way your wife doesn't know that your whole family knows she is nuts.

2) you can post it publicly on a social media of your choosing. this way she can see herself being crazy and maybe, just maybe she will care about her image enough to fix it....either that or it'll piss her off enough to make her leave all by herself.

that's what i would do.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-10-06T17:37:20+00:00

> The society I belong to doesn't consider divorce as an option.

What society is that? Because all Western cultures recognize divorce.

LostSoul945 · 2021-10-06T22:19:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	What should I do?
Author	LostSoul945
Upvotes	9
Comments	24
Date	October 6, 2021 5:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/q2p8lt/what_should_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-should-i-do.1077032 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077032

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