Before everything closed down due to lockdown I regularly took self-defense and MMA classes of all kind. I enjoy the overall body coordination, the fitness aspect and the fact that I can build my self esteem on a solid foundation of skill. One of my favorite is Hapkido since it allows you to turn your enemy's strength against them. The more force they apply the more damage they risk to take themselves.

Because training is not only about physical but also mental growth there are some aspects that inspired me to be successful in handling LV people by using their destructive power to my own advantage. The defensive approach allows a wider range than the aggressive, pickmeisha approach.

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  • Observe. You don't have to make every mistake on your own to learn from it. Be open to view your surroundings as learning opportunity. Be as unbiased as possible. Gather further information about the scene but refrain from early judgement. Have a stoic mindset.
  • People behavior is to some extent always a self message. The world doesn't revolve around you, for better or for worse. Random people's behavior isn't a reaction to your preceding action. You are a NPC in their life like they are in yours. It takes time and investment to get to know each other. LVM's misogyny doesn't determine your value. They are telling on themselves early on. Use their information about themselves to save time and make wise decisions.
  • Pickmeishas who shit on you to gain male attention posses no threat to your social or romantic life. When they succeed in their game it's an indicator that you had people of low value around you. Think of them as your sporadically visiting doctor fish. Thank them and move on. Analyze why you kept LVM and LVW around you that long. Chances are you had a scarcity mindset. Do better from now on. Don't soak in self pity or hate but use the energy as a stepping stone to become a HVW.
  • Calculate LVM's weakness based on their projection. There is only one thing men are better at than women and that's projection. You can not not communicate. There is no false data, only wrong facts. For example, a misogynistic LVM, especially when he calls women sexist slurs, is afraid of you having sexual options. He will attempt to limit these options by tying you down while keeping his own open. He is prone to cheat while demanding exclusivity from your side. Maintain the high ground by acting the opposite way of what he "begs" you to do. This is not to say you should sleep around. Sleeping around actually benefits LVM as a whole entity. What you should do is not playing his but you own game. A man who can't neg you to follow his whistle won't stick around you but will save you time as well as energy.
  • Acceptance. Accept that you can't or should change people and that this is a good thing (because you are not perfect either). Different persons carry a different kind of energy. Assign them to their according role in your life. You are also the manager of other peoples place in your mind and soul.You are not morally superior to them and you shouldn't try to be. Evaluate and reevaluate their role based on how they act. Distance yourself from putting people in categories based on your wishful thinking and fears. It makes you a douche but also vulnerable to manipulation. Don't engage in the mental gymnastics trying to "figure out if they are good or bad people". Allow the integrity of letting them be.
  • Stance. This is about your presence in the world and other peoples life's. Flex your standards. Work on them to keep them high. Your level up process is all about becoming your best self. This takes a lot of work so walk like you are proud. If you value strong friendships achieve them and let others know. Show your date that you are proud of your high standards because you have every reason to be. Shine. Be euphoric. Let them know what kind of person you are so they know if they want you in their life, if they can see your value. Do they aspire to them? Good. Do they look bored or even dismissive? Hands off, next. You are a piece of art. If others can't see your value you don't repaint yourself. Let them pass by.
  • Flexibility. Fit the situation but only choose situations that benefits your growth. If you feel you can't break through you are probably right and actively loosing right now. Remove yourself from the equation. Pause. This is not your place. While dating: Allow yourself to get inspired by others but don't do compromises. Your benefit comes first. They should also be flexible the same way.
  • Limitations. Know your boundaries and stick to them. Boundaries are never up for discussion. Boundaries are the requirement for your standards. So stick to your limits to keep your standards high. Respect others limits and evaluate if you you are up for it. If the answer is no, you go separate ways.
  • Navigation. Move within your boundaries in love like in life. Don't overdo it but don't imprison yourself. Get a clear perspective by thinking with your head. Move with your heart and instincts.
  • Offense. Sometimes you need clarity and prove. Don't beat around the bush. Ask directly and be upfront. Target the weak point and apply pressure on it, but don't remain there. Their first reaction tells you all you need to know.