Too late for me

DangZagnut · 2018-09-13T22:51:05+00:00

Everyone changes. Marriage is the stupidest thing one can do with one's life.

Having children, a partner, whatever, but nothing should ever "trap" you in anything. It's a miserable existence for everyone involved.

vince_lou- · 2018-09-13T20:59:07+00:00

If you notice in the media lately, women who cheats or being a whore is glorified. So based on that logic, what you done is absolutely perfectly fine . I’m sorry you are going through this, hope everything will work out for your best

vega-mgtow · 2018-09-13T23:07:30+00:00

Divorce now. Your highest earning years are yet to come. Whatever you are hit with now, is an insignificant fraction of what you would be hit with in 10-20 yrs, plus the lost years of endless suffering.

Sir_manalot · 2018-09-13T21:27:51+00:00

You mentioned an interesting thought "If not for my son, I would have divorced".

You know that she can divorce you at any time she wants, right? She won't care if your kid will be hurt in the middle of the process to get your house and alimony. In your position I would've divorced already, at least I'd be in control of the shit.

About your kid, she is gonna try to put him against you whether the decision was yours or hers. (My mom and grandma tried it all the time)

I'm not telling you SHOULD do it, I'm just sharing what I've seen so far regarding to divorce and what I've been through as a kid from divorced parents.

cobaltcolander · 2018-09-13T21:46:56+00:00

Do the divorce now and fight for equal custody. You can't live like that. Better now than after another 10 years.

Do yourself a favor and get out of that situation. You've already been driven to extreme measures.

Kids are resilient, as long as your son knows that you love him and will always take care of him, he'll be ok.

NightGuy8 · 2018-09-13T21:57:54+00:00

Please please please listen to me. I have a 4 yr old daughter. I felt the same as you. Do not feel obligated to stay. It does NOT mean you love your son any less. Leave and become happy. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s your life man don’t willingly continue this. Move on and let your son always know you are there for him. Hell thats more than most fathers do nowadays. Stay strong and PM me if you have any questions or need someone to talk to.

hermopietrobon · 2018-09-13T23:21:19+00:00

It was all an illusion.

Hear this, lads? Remember this!

october-ru · 2018-09-14T02:58:23+00:00

She's pursuing sexual relationships without you tho.

realChebz · 2018-09-14T02:27:32+00:00

If she's not fucking you, she IS fucking someone else. There's no doubt about it, you just don't know it.

2018-09-13T21:58:39+00:00

I'm no lawyer, but if I was in that scenario myself I'd secretly see a [male] divorce lawyer and see what he thinks about the possibility of getting the marriage annulled on the ground that she committed fraud by pretending she would want sex after marriage when she doesn't.

As it developed in most states, the "essentials of the marriage" test tended to restrict annulments based on fraud to those cases involving misrepresentations about sex or procreation - those matters that were fundamental to the very definition of marriage. Thus, plaintiffs who alleged that their spouses lied about pregnancy, infertility, impotence, frigidity, venereal disease, or their willingness to have children were more successful in obtaining annulments than those who complained of misrepresentations about wealth, character, alcoholism, or other serious but not, in courts' eyes, fundamental matters. As one court noted, it is not enough to support an annulment based on fraud to prove that a husband denied having a drinking problem and yet "turned out to be . . . a lazy, unshaven disappointment with a drinking problem." Divorce is the remedy for the usual disappointments of marriage.

bushmaster2000 · 2018-09-13T22:30:27+00:00

Women love to use the excuse 'he wasn't servicing my needs' for why SHE cheats, so seems only reasonable married men should be able to claim the same when his lady stops PROVIDING him with sex.

CiceroVoltaire · 2018-09-14T00:05:49+00:00

sounds familiar, 20 year marriage that ended in divorce. We do share full joint custody.

I wish the divorce was before my son would consciously know about it, so that is a consideration; if you're going to leave, do it while your son is young so he doesn't experience the loss of you not being in the home.

if possible talk to a divorce lawyer to see what your options are to preserve more of your wealth, assets, and of course your rights as father to your son. Once you understand the possibilities, options and risks, you can make a more informed decision to stay or go.

stay strong. you have a son that needs you, always remember that. FWIW, knowing this kept me alive during my lowest point and now I'm happier with a bright future for my son and I.

Neutral_User_Name · 2018-09-14T04:46:56+00:00

Older married red pill here: married for 4 years and a 2-year old kid? GET OUT ASAP. RUN. Otherwise, the longer you stay, the more you need to share with the wife. The longer you stay, the longer you will need to pay spousal support. 4 years is a joke. Get out and call me God in 5 years, it will all be over. Good luck.

Baldrbaldr · 2018-09-14T01:14:02+00:00

She's clearly not interested in YOU.

Think about it.

KaitouNala · 2018-09-14T03:55:31+00:00

My only question for you sir, all things considered as you may or may not have thoroughly read this sub.

are you sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is actually "your" son?

i mean the complete drop of the charade upon conception feels AWFULLY suspicious to me, especially with the no sex bit, high probability SHE is still having sex while you aren't.

good luck to you brother.

Im_Talking · 2018-09-13T22:56:52+00:00

I don't consider what you are doing as 'cheating'. Cheating is defined as acting dishonestly to gain an advantage. You are not gaining an advantage by going to escorts. You are just returning your sex-life to the kind-of normalcy that you had when you were childless.

deepspace7 · 2018-09-14T00:53:08+00:00

Not too late to get out. As others have noted, you're sacrificing your time with someone who's sucking your life away, not to mention your money. At least if you exit now, she can only suck your money not your life.

hifeyokidshideyowifi · 2018-09-14T00:31:56+00:00

Dude. You gotta be happy. All 3 of you have to be happy. Recently divorced, 4yo child. I decided it was best for all of us to do so now before the ex and I started acting in ways we didn’t want our child to see and she completely agreed. Not gonna lie, it got tense as fuck towards the end, but it all worked out for the best. We split custody right down the middle. I do have to pay child support but it’s a small price to pay in the long run. We’re going to be in each others live for a long time to come. As are you with yours, it was best to do so now while we were still amicable and our child was young enough we didn’t need to have a talk with him. If you feel this way now, you’re going to hate/resent it in 5 - 10 years and you kids gonna be the victim more so. Pm me if you need to vent. Cheers.

Retromind · 2018-09-14T01:48:41+00:00

You can always fake your death (which is incredibly hard thing to do) to avoid paying alimony. Look into it.

Cricket_FIFA · 2018-09-14T02:55:30+00:00

Look dude. You have one son right now. If you get out now, you are only looking at 20% of your income going towards child support since its one kid. It will get worse if you have more kids and you tack the potential of Alimony. You can still have a great degree of financial stability and financial liberty in this situation, other men are not so lucky. Do whatever you can to get 50/50 custody. You can still be a great father to your child in this situation. My uncle has partial custody (30%), and he's only paying $250. Plan your escape.

Jonlife · 2018-09-14T05:58:48+00:00

Get a divorce. Your son will notice how much you resent each other in that home. Kids notice everything

Vlad_the_imp_hailer · 2018-09-14T07:32:01+00:00

Start preparing for divorce. Read ”How to fire your wife” (sidebar) and watch Terrence Popp’s video on how to beat the bitch in divorce. Plan it out in secret, make your moves strategically, and strike when she least expects it.

If you can plan it right and prove that you’re the better parent, you may even get custody.

BlasphemousMGTOW · 2018-09-14T08:07:12+00:00

Couple of points :-

It has nothing to do with pregnancy, its her Hypergamic instinct, she saw someone new.
Definitely, She is cheating on you, all cheating women do that, first they lose interest in you, then they act rude and indifferent towards you, by this time you are reduced to a "resource provider", there is no coming back.
TLDR; She wants your resources and someone else's dick.

HackrKnownAsFullChan · 2018-09-14T09:24:49+00:00

I completely get where you're coming from, I was in the same situation, except with two sons. I kept trying to stay on in the marriage for their sake, even after it was over.

Managed to pull this off for a few years. Then I was under so much stress, being in a marriage I hated, that I kept exploding at my kids in anger. And ostensibly I was putting up with this shit for their sake.

Once after another of the insane arguments with my ex-wife, I felt my hands clench and my entire brain taken over by rage. I now know exactly how people end up murdering their wives.

Then came the thoughts of suicide.

So, after a while I sat down and thought about it, what was I giving my sons by staying on in this marriage:

Option 1: my kids have an angry asshole of a father who keeps exploding at the smallest things.

Option 2: a father in jail, a mother in the graveyard.

Option 3: a dead father.

All of these were extremes but certainly possible.

Then I decided to separate.

It's been a few years but I still occasionally feel guilty that I couldn't give my kids an intact family and that they had to suffer through all this. But I'm now a much better father, a much happier person and a better role model for my sons.

And I focused my energies on making the transition as smooth as possible for the kids and maintaining a civil relationship with their mother.

Accept that you are human and some things are not in your power to give. It takes two parents who work together to provide a good family for the kids. Setting yourself on fire will warm then only for so long.

Edit: I managed to plan ahead and get 50/50 custody

OokieOOK · 2018-09-14T04:05:40+00:00

Had the same issue but without the kids. Really loved her, she was actually a great person, but I went down the same path as you, started sleeping around with no remorse. Was with her 18 years. She eventually found out, wanted to work things out but one night I just broke it off abruptly and asked her to leave. Ended amicably but I really wish she had worked with me a little before it got out of hand. I was devastated for about two years after it ended. Recently she told me she understood why and felt she was to blame. Still bothers me a lot at times. Stay strong.

Browser2025 · 2018-09-14T04:27:25+00:00

Divorce will happen eventually it's better to do it now before your assets grow and she can take more of them.

TheLatterDayShaman · 2018-09-13T21:49:38+00:00

I don't agree with adultery at all, be it a female or a male committing it, but I'll keep my comments about it to myself since my point is obvious and I get that despite that, you've made up your mind.

What I do want to say though is that I understand exactly why you want to do what you are as far as your wife, staying, but not persuing a sexual relationship. This is obviously a time honoured way of dealing with a post child fall out of love and I think it may just what's best for your child. It's worth considering if that will remain the case had your wife to take a lover, because obviously your son ever discovering his mother isn't faithful to his father, he may find himself not expecting loyalty from future partners himself. The same with your own escapades - you don't want to teach our son it's acceptable to sleep around if your in what's supposed to be a committed relationship.

platoonpluto · 2018-09-13T22:12:56+00:00

Start looking in to lawyers and the like in regards to custody arrangements and the divorce process. Aside from that, you could potentially try marriage counselling if you feel like it’s an avenue that may help.

Protect yourself and put yourself first, that way you are in the best position to help your son in the future. I was 16 when I had my son, and I have been to court 4 times to ensure I can see him, it’s been difficult but as a father you have no choice but to live your best life for his sake.

I wish you all the best and hope that life treats you kindly.

guitarguy1749 · 2018-09-14T02:43:07+00:00

Thank you for having the courage to post here. your story could def help other men from making the same mistake. I have a friend in the same boat. his son is the only reason he and his wife stay together. she consistently denies him sex.

boy_named_su · 2018-09-14T02:58:11+00:00

/r/marriedredpill and /r/askmrp

ManIsWalking · 2018-09-14T04:08:05+00:00

I'm too lazy to dig for them, so take this as such, but I've seen studies where a woman's brain physiology changes after child birth. The portion of her brain that contributes to romance shrinks and the survival (provision acquisition) parts grow.

You're not alone, and this is a tale many married men suffer. My only word of caution is to not get caught with hookers. Not because she'll leave, she's going to eventually anyways, but you don't want to tarnish your good name with your social circle.

Do your best to raise your son right, teach him to look out for life traps. God bless and the best of luck to you, brother.

2018-09-14T06:08:39+00:00

Escape for yourself, bro.

Nothing wrong with divorce.

sir_monkfish · 2018-09-14T08:43:29+00:00

I get why you are doing this for your son.

Hard to judge anyone in your situation.

Boys need fathers.

GochuBadman · 2018-09-14T10:27:18+00:00

Catch your wife cheating, use this as case to judge for why marriage fell apart.

Is there not less settlement given if spouse cheats and is the reason for the destruction of the marriage?

EmptyNewspaper · 2018-09-14T10:50:12+00:00

Better to awake late than to stay in comatose state forever.

But, you could spread the MGTOW message to every male you meet and prepare for the unwanted divorce.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mgtowbooks/comments/70mgy5/how_to_fire_your_wife_a_guide_for_married_men_to/

writefromwork · 2018-09-14T12:53:07+00:00

" after she got pregnant she became a different person. She put 0 effort into maintaining our relationship and sex life is non existent. I feel like I am just the cash cow of the family now. I only exist in order to provide. "

Get a paternity test done without her knowledge. The results may clear up the mystery of her behavior. Speak to a lawyer quietly. Line up all the ducks and file when you are ready. Get yourself free.

2018-09-13T20:58:47+00:00

So who is she getting her sex with?

MrBluePill · 2018-09-14T06:03:01+00:00

You and I are an awful lot in the same boat. You're certainly not alone out there.

icbint · 2018-09-14T07:59:51+00:00

Its never too late

BoskOfPortKar · 2018-09-14T09:38:03+00:00

This is what I have been warning a young colleague since a few weeks (he is about to live with her first). Among other things.

But, even though she turned out to fuck till death, there are great chances that she will be cow-like soon...

Even though my case as a married man is quite different from the norm (I fucked my 45 yo wife yesterday and it was really like fucking a 16 yo ... with a bit of darkness helping) , I can only encourage men not to do it (marriage).

2018-09-14T12:21:14+00:00

Shes the one who cheated if she refused to have sex

500dollarsinprizes · 2018-09-14T13:36:26+00:00

All the strength you can muster will not be enough; you’ll merely ride the pain to a future crash.

May you find the way to more peace, brother. It’s too late for me, too.

JayJayEcks · 2018-09-14T14:07:10+00:00

It's only too late, because you want it to be.

Because, you are afraid of change.

You are going to have to accept the fact, life as you have it now, will no longer never be. It's going to be gone and you are going to have to accept a new normal.

It's only too late, when you are dead.

ThanatopsisRex · 2018-09-14T14:18:56+00:00

The legal institution of marriage should be eliminated. The sooner, the better.

NietzscheExplosion · 2018-09-14T17:38:11+00:00

You CAN win custody. Make a plan stick to it. She is now your ENEMY.

Someone post the how to fire your wife pdf

cyborg_type_darkness · 2018-09-14T20:26:57+00:00

DNA test right now. Be 100% sure it's yoir child.

GamingYourMom · 2018-09-15T18:03:55+00:00

Your wife is going to leave you anyway statistically. Maybe you should figure out a plan. Stash some funds, see a lawyer about custody, start recording her to build a case for a custody battle or divorce.

Title	Too late for me
Author	Coleoptera
Upvotes	259
Comments	89
Date	September 13, 2018 8:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9flnqi/too_late_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/too-late-for-me.492632 https://theredarchive.com/post/492632

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