A year or more ago I was under the impression that MRA was a group of assholes that were angry because people would not let them get away with being assholes. I’m sure that I was under the impression that it was always better to be a man and always easier.

I’m a father to 4 girls. I was always worried about guys trying to take advantage of them because I raised them to be kind and trusting. I remember being a horny teenager and what that felt like. I didn’t think about the fact that I never pressured anyone into anything, but conversely was pressured by girlfriends into having sex before I felt ready, and being pressured into not using protection.

As I’ve read more and more in this forum and some others I find myself relating to a lot of personal stories. I’ve been in therapy and adjusting medication and starting to feel some self worth and importance, and it’s causing me to notice other people’s shitty behaviors.

I’ve become a big believer in community. I feel like society is headed towards some difficult times, and the thing that will get us through it the best is community. Knowing who your neighbors are and actually caring about and talking to them. Being able to see other people in our day to day lives as humans every bit as complex as ourselves.

Because of this I try to compliment people more often. I wave at people and reach out to people to try and get them to do real life socializing. I am trying to be friendly towards people at work that I normally mostly ignored.

This has made me notice some trends. If I compliment a man about hair, clothing, tattoos 80% of the time they will stop and talk to me about it. If I make a light joke or just ask them how their day is going they engage me and talk to me. With women they almost always seem aloof, distrusting, and annoyed/disgusted. Some do talk to me. But it is by far a small amount of them.

I text male coworkers and I get responses. Sometimes it’s a few days later, but I almost always get some acknowledgement. Female coworkers and “friends” rarely reply back. Even to a simple text saying, “How are things going?” The only reliable replies I get are from my spouse and my mother. I’ve tried to think back to my past and my recollection is the only women that ever interacted with me were either physically interested in me, or were girls that I gave rides to or bought food for.

I’ve always felt like I preferred the company of women. But lately I have been feeling a lot more animosity towards them. I don’t like feeling this way. I want to be able to be friends with people and socialize with them regardless of gender/sexual orientation/physical attraction.

I feel like some MRA are too extreme. I don’t want to think of women as lesser. I still believe there are genuine issues women face. But I don’t think those issues should invalidate issues that men face. Mocking people for immutable characteristics is wrong. So why is it socially acceptable to malign men, whites, straights, or the religious? I’m not all of those things but I still recognize it.

I feel myself sliding into some right wing points of view. I have always considered myself leftist and recently had been feeling like I was extremely left. But lately I feel like a lot of the left plays the oppression Olympics and wants to put people into classifications and divide us up. I care deeply about disadvantaged people. But some of those people are male, white, straight, and religious.