Last night I was having dinner with my kids. 17f, 13f, 11f, and 8f. 13 asked a question while looking at me and I had no idea and said something to that effect. 13 said she was asking 17. I jokingly said, “sorry I thought you were talking to me since I’m the main character and everything is about me.”

13 is a very deep thinker and is always asking me questions about how the world works, or at least my perspective on it. I try to explain my thoughts but encourage them all to form their own opinions and point out that I am probably wrong about some things. We’ve discussed main character syndrome before so she understood the reference.

After I said it 8 turned to me and said, “daddy you aren’t the main character, mommy is.” I laughed a little and said, “why do you think that?” She said, “because you never ask mommy to do anything and mommy always tells you what to do.”

I talked with a friend about it. We talked about how husbands that always tell their wives what to do are called misogynists and usually seen as assholes, but if a woman is bossing her husband around it’s because he’s childish and irresponsible and there the husband is still the bad guy and/or an idiot. It’s the plot of every sitcom since 2000.

Why is this view so prevalent? I love my wife very much but more and more when I analyze our interactions, if the roles were reversed with the same actions, suddenly they seem so different.