Dating a mgtow!

loneliness-inc · 2018-08-02T20:03:56+00:00

If he's MGTOW and dating you and he told you he's MGTOW, then...

He's being clear and honest with you regarding what you can expect.
He likely won't change his mind on these expectations.
He will never marry you.
He may not ever live together with you.

If you're okay with this, continue dating him. If you aren't okay with this, don't date him. You won't persuade him to change his mind.

Whisper · 2018-08-02T23:21:03+00:00

MGTOW is an acronym with so many different meanings that the fact that someone describes himself that way tells you nothing.

Best to ascertain on an individual level what it means to him.

jm51 · 2018-08-03T02:36:43+00:00

A relationship for a mgtow is like having a job when you don't need the money. No problem with walking as soon as it stops being fun. We branch swing back to our solo life.

However:

<he did say I was his last try in the dating world

imo that isn't something a true mgtow would say. Neither would a mgtow (or a RP guy) say that they'd be open to living together so soon.

My guess is that he is a BP that has found TRP and is still a bit angry and maybe hurt. So he's hiding under the mgtow shield for now.

While proving yourself to him, don't forget to vet him also. Hard. Being emotionally detached and looking at a suitor like they're a job applicant is a tingles killer but it has to be done. The more vetting you do, the better you'll get at it. As the BP part of him wants the white picket fence, (it's what we're wired for) he just might be a suitable captain.

Even if you are not compatible for the long term, I don't see any harm in you two being TRP/RPW buddies and help each other learn the real facts of life. He has broken the first rule of Fight Club which means that he is at the early stage of the journey. As are you.

Tenth_10 · 2018-08-02T20:36:04+00:00

Have you asked him what level of MGTOW he is ? Also, is he a MGTOW because he's in some kind of healing phase, or is this more a permanent thing ? These will give you some good beacons.

FleetingWish · 2018-08-02T21:31:35+00:00

The difference between a MGTOW and everybody else is that a MGTOW doesn't see the value in a relationship with a woman, most likely because relationships with women have never added value to his life.

This means a MGTOW changes back to an everybody else when he finds a reason to invest in a relationship with a woman. So, you can have a relationship with a MGTOW who is no longer a MGTOW if you add value to his life. This takes really good girl game, depending on how hard-core he is/was, practically perfect girl game. This is because of two things, the first is you have to show value where others have failed, and second you have to not remind him of the negatives of associating with women. It is very easy to have a slip up, and for him to think about AWALT in a negative way. Whether or not a slip could mean the end of your relationship depends on how jaded he is and his history with you or fondness of you prior to the slip up.

Metartist · 2018-08-03T02:52:21+00:00

I found this refreshing as a MGTOW/red pill. The terminology really is dependent upon the individual, life is complicated and things aren’t always set in stone. Even if all the communities etched out a perfect depiction of each other its still a vast generalization of the individual self. Each MGTOW has a reason or boundaries based on there own experiences/beliefs. So the fact he was honest and guided you to this forum of progressive women, is actually a great feat of respect. If he didn’t think you were worth the time or effort, he most likely would have ghosted you. Even having casual sex or one night stands are problematic to MGTOW’s as false rape accusations, child support for someone else’s kid, false harassment claims are still in high favor of women in court rooms and the media. Not saying they’re all false, but as a MGTOW it is a fear we deal with daily. Please don’t take it lightly, but don’t let it be the reason you stay together either. Find your own way :) and this is why he pointed you to here. Not to determine more info about him, but about yourself from other strong women like you!

ange-nocturne · 2018-08-03T06:26:54+00:00

For women, the goal of a red pill sexual strategy is to gain commitment from men, with marriage being the highest form of commitment. In that case it seems quite incompatible with the mgtow mindset. If he is truly mgtow he will never marry you, fully trust you, or put himself in a state of interdependence with you. You will have to decide if you can have a healthy relationship with a man like that.

milene_18_24 · 2018-08-03T17:42:11+00:00

I used to identify as MGTOW, and was around it back when Stardusk, Barbarosssa, and maybe Vention were among the very few MGTOW youtubers. I discovered MGTOW, the MRM, and the idea of the red pill back around 2013, and I sometimes think of myself as MGTOW old guard, at least for Youtube. Its given me both more self-confidence and more pain. The whole concept of MGTOW levels is nonsense that virtually nobody took seriously, but that's just my view. MGTOW generally agrees on being against the marriage contract, which includes common law marriage, but its secondary or competing principle is a man maintaining personal freedom, because of the aspect of personal freedom, if some guy calls himself MGTOW there's a lot of variance for individuality and only so much you can deduce from that.

I think its good that MGTOW are normalizing that women aren't untouchable and can be criticized as much as men, but I also think its mentally unhealthy to perpetually criticize anyone or consume perpetual criticism, so I just see that as a popular aspect of MGTOW that is both good and bad-- I have been staying away from it because criticism is mentally unhealthy in excess, and focusing on my passions instead.

I've come to the logical conclusion that while I have made online friendships in MGTOW, and its done a lot of good for me, I won't publicly identify with the label anymore to avoid getting into arguments, and to keep more negativity out of my life. Since I'm very interested in continuing to study gender and relationships as one of my passions, and as a way to heal from the dark side of the red pill; and this puts me at odds with the MGTOW who value criticism over the accumulation of knowledge, or who have turned red pill ideas into unassailable dogma backed by shaming, and its a usually a huge mistake to invite or get involved in online arguments instead of following passions. There used to be a time early on in youtube, where there was an intellectual end of MGTOW and more idea sharing, nowadays everyone is afraid of being shamed for trying to be pioneers, being labelled as blue pill or a simp for example, and its stopping pioneering by people trying to learn and discover new things.

A lot of people who abandoned looking for new information and stick with the predominantly negative information that they see, seem to me like unhealed people. So if you are dating someone who identifies as MGTOW the one thing I can deduce for you other than its principles, is that there will a likelihood of some kind of unhealed trauma regarding women. I'd say a good book for you is "For Women Only by Shaunti Feldman", that could help you communicate with him in a way where its productive for both of you, and "For Men Only" by the author and her husband would be a good book for him (and you), if you think he'd be willing to read it, and after those two I'd say, look into The Five Love Languages website or buy the book by Gary Chapman-- but if he does have unresolved trauma and wants to learn even more about it, the next book I'd suggest for him after "For Men Only" is "The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk".

I didn't mean to write this much and I might lose sleep for it, but its worth it to help people out. =)

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-08-02T21:22:32+00:00

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2018-08-03T15:31:35+00:00

I'd view MGTOW as serious as a deal-breaker as, say, someone who doesn't want kids.

Here's why I personally would never yoke myself to a MGTOW:

1) No marriage.

2) No kids.

3) No long-term security and a whole lot of risk. By this, I mean there's a possibility that you could spend your most "valuable" years to find a mate (20s) on a man who ultimately walks away from you. Then you're back in the dating pool and in your 30s, that's not a fun place to be.

If you close your eyes, are you really okay being in your 40s and cohabitating with this man, sans kids? More blunt still, do you really trust that a man who is still only your boyfriend won't want to go for a younger woman? Or just, I dunno, go his own way when the waters get even a little rough between you two?

The only situation I could see this working is for high powered career women who view their love life in equal importance (or less than) to their professional life. To women who envision marriage, children, home-making... no. I strongly advise against forgoing a career to play housewife for a man who will never marry you. That's even riskier. If that's not your situation, then so be it.

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-08-04T18:43:07+00:00

Hello Everyone: I notice that this post has been linked to r/MGTOW. Anyone who comes in to give the OP advice or guidance is welcome. Anyone who is debating the validity of women or relationships or insulting the gentlemen who the OP is dating will receive automatic bans. The point of this post is to help the OP. Comments should do that.

trash_panda945 · 2018-08-03T00:35:41+00:00

He's not a mgtow if he's willing to cohabitate, marry or have any sort of long term relationship

tuyguy · 2018-08-03T03:06:45+00:00

Mgtow do not date. What is he talking about.

TRP movie is not really reflective of TRP, it's more about men's rights. TRP is more about sexual strategy.

WantToBe360 · 2018-08-03T19:23:13+00:00

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dottywine · 2018-08-07T16:28:40+00:00

I would NEVER date someone who identifies as Mgtow. The whole premise of that movement is to avoid intimate deep relationships with women and avoid marriage. Opposite of what I’m looking for.

moneygtow · 2018-08-03T00:08:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Dating a mgtow!
Author	milene_18_24
Upvotes	35
Comments	70
Date	August 2, 2018 7:53 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/942lzc/dating_a_mgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/dating-a-mgtow.2914 https://theredarchive.com/post/2914