A quick guide to Tinder: (This guide is irrelevant for really good-looking young men.)

  1. Hit the green button 100 times while doing something productive. Swiping is slow.

"Aha, but shouldn't I be choosing the best looking womyns that I want to fucks wiz zem?"

No. No you shouldn't. Because here is the why: Your chance of fucking these women is 0.0%

Then you swipe right and your chance of fucking goes all the way up to 0.000001%.

And because it takes too long. Life is short, and it's just Fucking Tinder. These profiles are not even real for you, so being invested in them is stupid.

You might have missed the background information/rules of Tinder; firstly that it will promote women who like you to the front of your list. Second that you only get 100 swipes/day. And thirdly, the women who like you back will reflect your own SMV back at you in an undeniable and clinical way. If lots of 3's and 4's like you, guess what ...

.2. Use 'super like' on a low value target, but that still has some appeal for you. Ideally you will be the only one doing so.

.3. Do Not let your self esteem be in any way linked to Tinder, or anything you have online for that matter. A really good Tinder profile gets about 15 matches per 100, in that case your game would be "do you want to sleep with me?"

.4. Setup your location settings and age group - this can filter out the shitty prospects who are miles away and the Post-Wall hags. (i.e age range 18-30, distance 0-50km's.) Interestingly, some guys set the minimum distance to 20km's (or ok Miles, w/e) to avoid the complications from women who live close enough to 'drop in'.

.5. Do be C&F, Tinder is an excellent way to practise your live game in spare time. "You're on my to-do list" can be fun. Personally I have been ramping up my asshole game so as to minimize my clean cut, nice guy image. It works.

The rules of your live game generally apply here; be outcome independent, DO use abundance mindset, DO ask a few questions to give the impression of screening prospects e.g, "what's your percentage of naughty/nice?" -That worked well, it turns out she was an escort. I fucked her for free :))

Remember that ANY female can quickly have 50 guys in her conversation list; differentiate or die.

.6. Photos: This has been covered in every Tinder guide. Because it's bloody important.

a) - you with a good looking guy on one shoulder and a good looking younger woman on the other.

b) - At the beach or on a surfboard. If you are inland, substitute with something less good. (snowboarding skating w/e) Jetskis are an excellent choice too.

c) - With a dog. Preferably the doggy is licking your face or something cute.

d)- You with Abs. You can be subtle about it; sitting on a kayak lets it seem natural and a coincidence that we can just happen to see your body.

e),f) and so on: The ultimate photo is you at the beach with a dog and Abs.

More social proof, more sports, more of you going-out-and-doing-something-awesome. Pretty girls looking at you adoringly never hurts. Your car or bike if you have a sexy one. No family wagons, this is a fuck App so avoid anything that makes it look like you are a dad with kids - or that's what your after. You on the couch, mowing a lawn, investment banking and bouncing a baby are all killers.

More about photos: if you're unsure of what to put on Tinder, copy what women put up - it's invariably social proof and a hiking or beach photo with a dog. If your profile looks like what women are putting up, with added T, you are doing it right.

You are welcome to go to tinder right now and count the photos (of womyns profiles) with 2,3,4 people in them; count the doggies; count the beaches. Women look at context more than you do.

And a side note: some of you have no photos of yourself doing cool stuff. Go fix your life ffs. Are you going to wait for an internet guide to be printed for that, too?

.7. Adjust your bio so that is says something short and witty, leaving it blank is bad form. (I had to go check mine, its as follows: 'I just want to meet cool people and have fun and drink too much on the weekend is that too much to ask?' - it's a bit long.)

.8. Text game rules apply: Do not show neediness, do be sexual, don't text her heaps all day or she'll know you've got nothing better/no-one else to talk to.

.9. Do move her off Tinder quickly, if you go for the number and she doesn't bite she's playin' you, dawg. /next

Otherwise you can master the game to such an extent that you suggest a meeting point and time, without ever trying for her number. If she will not show up or, won't even agree to meet you then that's great! You just avoided wasting time with a validation whore, and avoided making yourself an attention slut. Yay!

.10. As per the above, DO escalate quickly. Life is short, and it's just Fucking Tinder.

BONUS LEVEL: Setup your Friday night dates 6pm, 7pm, 8pm.

6pm is no show, Miss 7pm goes well, so you relocate her to somewhere with alcohol while you call 8pm and quickly spin her a social proof/solidarity story about how your an awesome guy "my friend is in trouble with his gf cos they moved in together wayyy too fast, he wants to drink and pizza tonight but would it be ok if we raincheck cos I really want to meet you? ...Ok, thanks for understanding you're awesome!"

Life is short, and it's just Fucking Tinder.