Achievement Unlocked: I’m finding that men today are perfectly happy with going on dates with several women each week and committing to zero.

moorekom · 2019-02-07T12:39:07+00:00

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/a-ltr-is-not-a-mini-marriage/

Edit:

Relevant passage...

we need to consider the context in which men and women are coming together. For quite some time we have been in hookup culture. The term hookup is deliberately vague, and can mean anything from making out to having intercourse. As Susan Walsh explains young people generally aren’t familiar with dating, and instead “hook up” and go from there:

Hooking up has replaced traditional dating on college campuses, and has also become prevalent in the general population and culture. The hallmark of hooking up is the clear understanding between both parties that the encounter will be free from any expectations for further contact. It is designed to avoid the possibility of commitment. However, hooking up is still the primary pathway to a potential romantic relationship. The hookup script reverses the sexual norm; the pair becomes sexual first, before emotional intimacy or a relationship is established.

As Susan pointed out, the pattern is the reverse of what many people my age and older tend to assume. It is sex first, consider a relationship later. There isn’t a promise of commitment or exclusivity. This isn’t an accident, it was a deliberate move by feminists as they drove the sexual revolution. Who here doesn’t recall the feminists screeching you don’t own me just because we had sex! For those of you who had repressed memories of hairy legged women chanting that in response to innocent questions like does this bus go downtown?, my apologies for digging them up.

So this is where we are. The whole process is steeped in ambiguity by design. This provides women with the maximum freedom to choose and re-choose that they desire, but can make securing investment much more difficult. Alpha men are probably in the best position to navigate this landscape, since the ambiguity works in their favor. They can flip the female script of allowing their partner to become deeply emotionally invested in them while never promising investment, commitment, or exclusivity. The promiscuous women are trying to play their own game, which is getting the men to become emotionally attached without offering commitment or exclusivity themselves. Not all of this is always a conscious decision on the woman’s part. Sometimes they follow their biological programming while their hamster spins plausible explanations for why they happen to be repeatedly acting on animal instinct.

brazil84 · 2019-02-07T14:55:13+00:00

It's amazing how different the life of a young woman is from that of a young man. For 90% of men, it would be literally impossible to get a few dates a week.

Yoji_84 · 2019-02-07T12:57:08+00:00

Dating is seriously tough. I rarely get men telling me they aren’t interested. Instead, it feels like I have mini bf after mini bf til I have to walk away from non-commitment after a few months.

Stop spreading your legs so easily then. You sound like you could be the next speaker for lubricant oils, so easily those legs of yours swing open.

I have been trying to cut things off around date 6 now if there’s no commitment. But the problem is, they tell me “love where this is headed let’s see where it goes!” And I just have to cut things off because it doesn’t go anywhere.

Sounds like "you" cuts things off after BJ, anal, etc. Win/win for the guys if you ask me. They got what they wanted from you.

I’m finding that men today are perfectly happy with going on dates with several women each week and committing to zero. And continuing this. Because they’re getting every benefit of a relationship and feeling like a player, without having to actually commit.

Again, stop spreading your legs and sucking off men at the drop of a hat. Don't expect guys to commit if you're giving them the "prize" of commitment. Men commit for pussy, not for your pseudo-personalities.

Cutting things off before date 6 feels too soon because it’s so new. So it ends up with me dating them for 2 months and then having to ghost them because I cut things off and they often still try to contact me and apologize but still don’t commit.

Yeah, we're sure you are the one doing the ghosting. You, the harpy-to be screeching about how they won't commit.

It’s so frustrating

Thank feminism.

PhotosyntheticChad · 2019-02-07T12:52:38+00:00

Who the hell has time for “several dates a week”?!

Feldmarshal · 2019-02-07T12:56:03+00:00

People who want to get a tan go to the beach. People who want ice cream go to the ice cream store. People who want to read a book go to the library. Men who want sex go to the woman who gives sex! Meh... Not that hard to divine really.

moorekom · 2019-02-07T14:09:59+00:00

I’m finding that men today are perfectly happy with going on dates with several women each week and committing to zero. And continuing this. Because they’re getting every benefit of a relationship and feeling like a player, without having to actually commit.

No they're not getting "every benefit of a relationship". At most, they get rapid sex and some validation.

Also, "every benefit of a relationship" and "feeling like a player" don't go together. The entire point of being in a relationship is that you avoid the ambiguity and uncertainty of life as a player. The entire point of playing the Game is that you don't have the commitments and restrictions of a relationship.

I have mini bf after mini bf til I have to walk away from non-commitment after a few months.

Hmm. Well, might I remind you ladies that this was what you wanted. These are the sexual and relationship market places you asked for. This is how you wanted it.

And the behaviors in men that you're now complaining about are the behaviors that you women reward in the marketplace. There's nothing in it for men to go all in. There's no benefit to men to commit to you. The benefit lies in ~~fucking~~ dating a few or several of you at once and committing to none of you, rotating you in and out as you want or he wants.

As u/moorekom points out down there quoting from Dalrock:

It is sex first, consider a relationship later. There isn’t a promise of commitment or exclusivity. This isn’t an accident, it was a deliberate move by feminists as they drove the sexual revolution. Who here doesn’t recall the feminists screeching you don’t own me just because we had sex! For those of you who had repressed memories of hairy legged women chanting that in response to innocent questions like does this bus go downtown?, my apologies for digging them up.

So this is where we are. The whole process is steeped in ambiguity by design. This provides women with the maximum freedom to choose and re-choose that they desire, but can make securing investment much more difficult.

When he commits to you, it's all "eww gross, he wants commitment ewwww get him away from me i'm not doing his laundry or making him food or being his mommy no way nuh uh." So men stopped committing to you because you told them you didn't want that and because you stopped sleeping with them when they did commit. You have made it crystal clear you don't want commitment. So men are giving you what you want - rapid escalation, the D when you'll let them some good times, and then leaving when they're done.

Because that's what you women clearly show you want from your men: date me, finger me, fuck me, and then leave. That's what you want? That's what you get. This is what YOU wanted. This is what YOU asked for. This is behavior that YOU reward.

DicamVeritatem · 2019-02-07T15:15:25+00:00

Dates with multiple women each week - Apex Fallacy much?

Very few men are capable of securing a number of different dates in a week. Most women could, if they worked online dating/social media.

Of course, once again, the only men in their field of vision are the apex guys,

Westernhagen · 2019-02-07T15:36:08+00:00

Mid-30s Carol hits epiphany phase, wants men to commit to her for pretty much no other reason than because she wants it. Carol is disappointed that now she must put forth effort to secure what she wants from a relationship, rather than the man doing all the work. Intensely anxious about loss of looks and fertility. Sad!

Nevertheless, she would probably still turn her nose up at an older divorced dude who was willing to commit to her, because muh standards.

SirKolbath · 2019-02-07T17:17:13+00:00

Since when are you owed commitment from a man? Just because you do nice stuff for him and occasionally fuck him doesn’t give you the right to his commitment. You are literally raping him by demanding that he commit to you just because you had sex with him a few times. You don’t own him!

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-02-07T12:37:59+00:00

Just what I needed to start my day with a smile :) Thanks OP!

theDukesofSwagger · 2019-02-07T13:20:14+00:00

Would she not do the same if she could?

TheImpossible1 · 2019-02-07T15:59:24+00:00

Commitment from women is fucking worthless.

TripOverNothing · 2019-02-07T13:32:01+00:00

Reminds me of Solomon II blog and his "McFling's" post.

houseoftolstoy · 2019-02-07T17:20:38+00:00

I have been trying to cut things off around date 6 now if there’s no commitment. But the problem is, they tell me “love where this is headed let’s see where it goes!” And I just have to cut things off because it doesn’t go anywhere.

This would be a hint to someone who is actually able to think critically that her strategy is not working. Not only that, but the same tricks work on her every time. That sounds like the definition of insanity, but I really like the NPC meme, so I will say she is one of those.

I’m finding that men today are perfectly happy with going on dates with several women each week and committing to zero. And continuing this. Because they’re getting every benefit of a relationship and feeling like a player, without having to actually commit.

Chase Chad, and guess what? He has options! Who would have thought that attractive, desirable guys would be nonchalant about commitment? Go for non-Chad men, if you can get past your own superficial prison.

I found this advice to be decent:

Are you dating just to date or are you choosing these guys carefully according to your values and what you want in a possible long term relationship? I think quality over quantity. Be selective.

Oh she is selecting for quality alright. Just not the quality that is based on values, but rather tingles. In order for her to be able to select for values, she would have to have some values. She would not be in this predicament if that was the case.

houseoftolstoy · 2019-02-07T17:32:10+00:00

One thing I must disagree with in the advice given by at least a couple of posters there is the time frame for commitment. Two months is not too little time to determine someone is worth committing to or not. My own anecdotal evidence would show that you can determine that sort of thing much quicker, as I knew that my wife was worth committing to within 2 weeks. Not that you should know within 2 weeks as a rule, but I say a month is definitely enough time.

How can 2 months not be enough time? By then, you should know full well the values and goals of your prospective long term partner. You need to be upfront with that sort of discussion, as it should be determined sooner rather than later if you should be committing any more time to someone. And if discussing those topics either scares them away or their answer is to duck all those questions, then you just found your answer! A commitment minded person who has interest in committing to you will not be scared off by that sort of discussion, but rather on board with those discussions. It is a waste of time to avoid talking about these things until later, as it will only contribute to sunken-cost thinking in a relationship that never should last or never really was.

insecure_manlet3 · 2019-02-07T18:44:09+00:00

At least she isn't dating a manlet

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-02-07T15:51:06+00:00

This is hilarious!

Guy says he wants a loy-key, fun girl who is nice to him and will go out to concerts, and is accused of pining away for a "manic pixie girl."

-----------------

>

My biggest concerns are: do I find her attractive, is she fun to be around, and will she go to concerts, drink with me, and sing and dance poorly?

That's what you said in your previous comment and that's what I was responding to. That is the description of a manic pixie dream girl.

SelectAirline · 2019-02-07T18:00:27+00:00

Because they’re getting every benefit of a relationship

A tacit admission that she brings nothing to the table but a set of warm holes.

without having to actually commit.

Translation: I'm appalled that men are spending their lives tending to their own wants and needs instead of immediately bending to my will. Don't they know that I, as almighty woman, am entitled to whatever I demand and that his only job is to cater to me?

bongolese · 2019-02-07T20:28:29+00:00

This is the what feminism has brought about lady. What do you expect.

Women enabled to have easy fucks with whomever they like. Means the right men (rich, hot, confident) have all the options in the world and no need to commit to get the benefits of sex or female company.

Ultimately if they are not commiting to you it's a) you're not hot enough and b) why commit when on any given night 3 other girls are 1 text message away from a hook-up.

GregAdams16 · 2019-02-07T21:14:31+00:00

A woman recently tried to play this game with me. Getting me to become emotionally attached while she played the field. Once I realized what she was up to, I told her to pound sand. She did not take that well. lol

KingRobotPrince · 2019-02-08T11:03:36+00:00

Because they’re getting every benefit of a relationship and feeling like a player, without having to actually commit.

Is there really any surprise to this?

As they say, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

If women made men wait until marriage for sex, they wouldn't have this problem. But they wanted sexual liberation, they wanted to be the same as men.

Be careful what you wish for.

BernieSandersgirl101 · 2019-02-09T00:31:32+00:00

No, you found that 10/10 men do that. Average guys still like commitment, but you don't want them because they're "Short". In fact, it seems that a lot of women reject guys that otherwise fit their standards because drum roll please, THEY'RE SHORT! Which is just stupid!

weebkilla · 2019-02-07T22:53:36+00:00

Something about cows and free milk is springing to mind here...

Title	Achievement Unlocked: I’m finding that men today are perfectly happy with going on dates with several women each week and committing to zero.
Author	sleepyweaselisawake
Upvotes	142
Comments	82
Date	February 7, 2019 12:29 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/ao38oq/achievement_unlocked_im_finding_that_men_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/achievement-unlocked-im-finding-that-men-today-are.346998 https://theredarchive.com/post/346998

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