Being rude to me around other people

SeamusAwl · 2017-08-03T16:03:28+00:00

Before i was married i was dating this one girl. One day she met up with an old friend from high school who came to town to visit. My girl called me up and proceeded to "show off" to her friend and was being rude to me. What did I do? I immediately stated something like "you are behaving differently and i dont like it. Go have fun with X another way". Then hung up. Later she apologized for her rude behavior. That is how you shut it down. Your problem is that you have let it happen several times already. My suggestion is you shut it down like this:

"You're being rude, dont make me take you over my knee and spank you!" Then smirk and say "actually, that sounds like fun" while patting your knee.

atlhart · 2017-08-04T12:27:51+00:00

I know nothing about you, but from reading this it sounds like she feels confident that you're her little bitch and she can treat you however.

There is no dread.

Do you sidebar?

She thinks her SMV is higher than yours, and she's probably right. You need to sidebar. You need to lift. You need to DNGAF. You need it all. And you need to work the 12 levels of dread.

She treats you like shit because you can't do shit about it. Work your dread game, work the levels. She'll get nervous and stop being such a bitch. When you're someone she thinks is worthy, and when she's afraid to lose her trophy, she'll back off this shit.

Remember, you aren't a victim. You're woman isn't unique. She's not a bitch. You aren't unlucky and ended up with a bitch. All women are like that...AWALT.

You can fix this, and the sidebar is the way. Improve yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, and your SMV will rise. This shit will stop.

askmeanything2 · 2017-08-03T18:46:21+00:00

Always shut it down

I tend to use zingers (an amusing remark that has some nasty, such as you hear at a comedy roast)

Her: oh, yeah, cheers to whatever it is we're celebrating

You: (Laughing) We were celebrating your pregnancy

Her: I'm not pregnant!

You: Sorry, I was confused by the weight gain

Her: I'm not gaining weight!

You: Great, let's celebrate you not gaining weight, cheers!

justpickanyusername · 2017-08-03T16:20:39+00:00

It's just a good old fashioned shit test. She wants to see what kind of a man she is with. Respond with AA, AM, or whatever tool you would like. You chose AM from what I can tell.

my girl chimes in with "oh, yeah, cheers to whatever it is we're celebrating" ...and I can't help but burst out laughing at her. Like, da fuck? So I laugh at her, thank my friends for the congrats, and move on with my night.

It's your ego that is bothering you. As long as it didn't show in the moment or throughout that night you handled it fine. If she sensed your ego getting bruised and you visibly showed butt hurt then you didn't pass the shit test.

RedishPill · 2017-08-03T18:38:46+00:00

One day you will enjoy these moments.

It's like opening the door for me to include her in the social ribbing.

Doesn't hurt that MOST of my friends and family rib each other constantly so it keeps the edge sharp. Just always make sure it's light hearted with a smile and you can't be faulted for mean spirit.

If she wants to take it further she'll just make herself look like an ass, and you to ignore her or care less about her antics. It's easy to help someone do that to themselves if they insist.

InChargeMan · 2017-08-03T17:15:00+00:00

On the one hand I would think a RP man wouldn't even notice; water off my back.

Not noticing is different from not letting it affect you. You should notice, but how you deal with it is key.

rocknrollchuck · 2017-08-03T18:34:48+00:00

Say nothing. Best in groups. Let that hate hang in the air poisoning its owner with each passing second. The longer the silence the better. You don't react. People look to you. You're just carrying on with doing nothing. When someone next says something you immediately interrupt them and say "no.. hang on a second... my wife was just saying that (whatever the disrespectful statement was)." Then silence again.
"If you're going to be like that, you can go home now. Come back when you're ready to be sweet again and talk to me like an adult. "
(Fake concern) " Sweetie, you must be really hungry. You sound irritable."
".... right. So as I was saying..."
"Looks like somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed today......!!!!"
"Are you serious?"
"It's so adorable when you get feisty."

However you respond - be aware of your body language. Stand straight, look her in the eye. Do not break eye contact Especially by looking down (submission).

BirdManBrrrr · 2017-08-03T21:14:33+00:00

Second on the public shit test label for this.

The key principle here is "don't take her seriously". You didn't, you laughed at her, therefore you pass and the conversation continues without interruption, everyone is happy. A&A/AM/sarcasm, etc can come later, keep it light and playful.

A butthurt reaction shifts the entire focus of the group directly to your emotions...this is where you can get awkward silence and tension in the air and people are wondering what your problem is. Conversation comes to a halt, etc, and you're the one who can't handle it, not her.

If she ups the cuntiness and becomes flat out rude I'd say keep your cool, escalate the witty retorts (or even just smirk and STFU) but let her become the one toxic to the conversation in front of everyone. You demonstrate your unflappable frame, she comes off as a bitch, and you can address it later when you're alone.

Don't take her seriously, and don't make a scene. Pretty simple.

screechhater · 2017-08-03T22:06:15+00:00

A M the shit into orbit Who gives a fuck ?

In any case do not show weakness in front of others, being the jovial jokester and perhaps a being little snippy bitchy with laughter at times, can cause some tingles. You are big enough to take it and throw it back in her face, non butthurt style and laugh it off

BobbyPeru · 2017-08-03T22:29:21+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain a little here. If your wife is pulling this crap, she's basically announcing you're her bitch. If you improve to the point where you're attractive, owning your shit, killing shit tests, mission, dread, and you are a fun guy... This shit stops.

Chicks want to pump up their man when he's got his stuff together because it's really bragging about herself (I'm so great, I get the great guy). On the other side is "I'm so great because I own his ass." Either side, she wants to present herself as the prize to her friends.

Choose which side of that equation you want to be on and take the actions to get there.

RedishPill · 2017-08-03T16:58:23+00:00

"Oh did you not hear the news, honey? You're married to a badass. Congrats!"

If she's trying to belittle you in a more direct and insulting way in front of friends, I would smack that down by embarrassing her:

"Wow! I knew my wife was dirty, but I didn't know she had such a dirty mouth too. Do you need another spanking babe?"

AND if she continues being a shit, I would have a private chat with her:

"if you're cutting me down in front of my friends for a reason, you might want to tell me why, because I'm more than happy to leave your ass home next time."

Dont say it hurts your feelings or some shit like that. But draw the boundary, with the consequences of crossing it made clear.

captain_my_captain22 · 2017-08-03T16:36:49+00:00

My woman does this to me ALL THE TIME, especially around her girlfriends. I used to get really pissed, but after the RP, things became clear. The shit test in a social setting is a way for her to 'show off' her social status to other women (fucking covert comms). It's simple (in a hamster kind of way) when you pass a public shit test HER status goes up by showing all the other girls - hey I with a high value man that doesn't put up with my crap.

Remember gents the word of the day, everyday when around women, is - Sophistry.

thewholefnshow547 · 2017-08-03T16:52:28+00:00

Is her daddy a spineless beta?

My wife used to do this, she would be pleasant but when her mom and aunt came around she would turn full bitch and try to disparage me. Like you I was taken aback and confused. I later observed that this is a learned behavior that her mom and aunt do to her father. Mom and Aunt treated spineless Dad like dirt, he is a hopeless beta though and does nothing to stand up for himself.

My cure for this was: We went to the horse races one day with her family, her mom and aunt present, and wife was being particularly nasty to me. So I finally had it, I got her alone and told her I am no longer tolerating her disrespect and I was leaving. I took the car home, her parents had to drop her off. She was embarrassed and mad but I didn't say jack shit to her that night. The next day after work I left for and went to a buddy's house a period of 2 days, turned off my phone. Then I came back home and did not talk to her for an entire week. Finally she flat out begged for my forgiveness, and she quit doing her bullshit.

Perhaps a soft nexting is in order.

Title	Being rude to me around other people
Author	RedishPill
Upvotes	3
Comments	26
Date	August 3, 2017 3:43 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6rd58u/being_rude_to_me_around_other_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/being-rude-to-me-around-other-people.205759 https://theredarchive.com/post/205759

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