I had her blocked on everything, so she sent me a care package with chocolates, incense and some handwritten notes I could barely read. Never was good at reading sloppy cursive. She even returned my key.

She's seeing a psychologist, said she fucked up, said she'll do whatever it takes to prove that it was a "one time mistake." And alot of shit about our memories together and how she misses looking into my eyes, etc.

Predictably, she blamed her actions on an "evil spell" that was stronger than she was. And she doesn't want the evil to win over us. I'm sure she thought it was so evil when he was pounding away inside her. I'm sure she was thinking about how much she loved me as she was gobbling down his dick.

He sent me a msg on FB too, last week, letting me know what happened. Thought that was cool of him so I said thanks for the honesty. Probably trying to feel better about himself since a 5-second glance at Facebook woulda shown that we were still together. According to him she called him at midnight, asked to come over, told him we weren't together and then they fucked. Twice.

Very different from the "I stopped halfway through and got up and left because it felt so wrong" that I got from her even after she admitted to cheating. Even then, trickle truth.

I feel numb and but also sort of happy to learn that she's so fucked up over it and is still trying to get me back. For a second there I thought the only reason she told me is because of how badly she wanted out of our relationship with an excuse to never talk to me again. How fucked up is that? I still care what she thinks.

Funny story, my last ex did something similar and sent me a package with three full journals worth of hamster-novel six months after we broke up. It's like they all of the sudden realize that what I was giving them was the real shit, and how they will never ever feel that way again. I'm just venting. You've already given me solid advice on the situation. TRP lit is Crystal clear on the subject of exs - Iron Rule #7. Ghosting her put all of the cards back in my hand.

I will admit, I'm tempted to turn her into my personal little fuckslave for a while. And I've already fucked two other girls, so it's not like I can't get pussy elsewhere. I pulled a same night lay from a club last Saturday which is the first time I have EVER done that. Felt good.

But I am still in the feels, and don't have any plates spinning, so I think now is too soon. Maybe once I have a roster again. Or maybe never.