Today I realized I have a problem

MrMonopolyMan123 · 2021-09-16T22:40:15+00:00

Please see a therapist! Your friends and family love you, don't do anything rash.

What helped me realize some of the bs was coming across some expose videos that made me see a lot of those rp content creators are con men. Plus the bitterness and drama amongst their crowd as they constantly eat their own. Finally, unfollow all their channels- go outside and have fun with your buddies and remind yourself there was a time before RP where you were happy and you did have l girls who liked you before you found RP- this helped me

RedPillDetox · 2021-09-16T22:42:21+00:00

You're the victim of a cult where, even assuming there are bits of truth in what they say, completely altered your sense of reality. Always remember this. If something is so far away from common sense like TRP is then it probably is BS. There is no way such horrendous "realities" would be so prevelent yet be a "secret" to the overwhelming majority of men. Just read the first aid kit and hang arround here more often.

atman714 · 2021-09-16T22:46:15+00:00

The fact that you're admitting you had a problem and feeling guilt is the first step. You're already on your way to getting better. You also made a good choice unsubscribing from all RedPill stuff, there's no reason to look at that garbage anymore.

Some advice: Realize that human behavior and dating aren't as black and white as the RedPill had you believe. People who disagree with "game" aren't "betas," and alot of them probably date just fine and have successful relationships. If you need tips on dating and struggle with it, try asking people that have what you want. Also maybe check out Mark Manson's work and Dr.NerdLove on YouTube. These two were really helpful to me personally. Also, getting female friends can be a good thing, the RedPill dehumanizes them so much that it would probably be helpful for you.

AutoModerator · 2021-09-16T23:26:13+00:00

I'm glad that you realized you had a problem. My grandfather was a TRP based on his actions and led to real life consequences. To be engrossed in the type of thinking must have been blinding and honestly even if I am female I was brainwashed by the redpill type of way growing up so I never dated.

Men and women have some brokeness but it doesn't mean we use it to each other. What I am happy about is that you stopped subscribing to it when you don't have your own family yet which is important.

softnmushy · 2021-09-16T23:00:01+00:00

Reach out to any friends you have lost and tell them you got a lot of dumb ideas in your head and you'd like to hang out again now that you're trying to get your head right.

And try to have platonic friendships with women. Learn to enjoy spending time with them and just talking about stuff. Probably good to focus on women who are not attractive to you or are in a committed relationship.

MommysPills · 2021-09-17T00:55:12+00:00

I don't know what your relationships might be like with any female family members you may have but I am desperately hoping that my rp family member has the realization you have had. All it would take from him in our situation is the acknowledgement of how painful the last few years have been and a willingness to get help and I would do anything in my power to help him heal. If you have any relationships like this, I would encourage you to reach out and acknowledge the hurt and let them know you're trying to get help. Sometimes relationships are too far gone but I think most people would try to fix things with family members if they think it's possible. It may take a while to build trust again but don't let that deter you from what you need to do independent of them. I hope you are able to find a good therapist. If you're struggling in the meantime and think it might be helpful to talk to a stranger who has been dealing with the same problem from the opposing POV, send me a message.

_slinki · 2021-09-17T02:57:22+00:00

I've never been red-pilled, so I have no clue if my testimony would help you. But you can first try apologizing to all of your old friends--they rightfully may not forgive you, but it'd be good to let them know you don't believe in that kind of thing anymore.

If you consciously catch yourself thinking about women or men who respect women in a negative way, you can pause, change the thought to something more positive, and continue on with your day. For example, if you see a girl walking down the street in a tank top that shows skin and you think "she's asking for it," you can quickly pause and go "she is walking down the street. She is wearing clothes. She is existing how she wants to exist, and that's completely fine" and continue on with your day. Remember, you don't need to feel ashamed of your initial thoughts as long as you're actively working to change maladaptive behaviors--what we think instinctively is what we're conditioned to think, and what we think in response to that is who we truly are.

You could try exercises such as listing women in your life who have done something for you, or listing positive personality-based things about a woman you know. For the list of women who have done something for you, it can be as small as bagging your groceries at a check-out line--maybe you could have a past teacher on your list who you respect, or a coworker who says good morning to you. What's important is coming to consciously realize that women are just as much of a part of everyday life as men are. For the personality thing, try straying away from simple descriptors such as "cute" or "nice" and try listing specifically what you appreciate about them. Remember, this isn't a rating thing at all. An example would be if I wrote about my mom "always checks in to see how I'm doing to show she cares about me."

Also, I've heard that many people who have been indoctrined into red pill beliefs tend to get there because they were depressed and/or felt socially rejected. Saying that isn't supposed to be an attack on you personally or anything, but I figure therapy or medication could treat any underlying causes that led to your red-pill phase.

Glad you could grow out of red pill, OP!! So many men are trapped in that mindset for much of their lives, so I'm glad you could free yourself from it. I have no clue if you read this far, but if you did, give yourself a pat on the back for being willing to learn :D

Edit: added to the 3rd chunk of text

GarudOne · 2021-09-17T03:57:48+00:00

I did too. But guess what. After coming out of TRP/PUA/religion even. I had to make new friends a new social circle. It was awkward as hell. But eventually, I did. They accepted me for my past because I told them everything and they laughed and taught me to laugh at my idiotic past am hang out. They hold me to account if I ever steer wrong in a compassionate way.

Perhaps what I am trying to say is stick around man, you'll probably have more awesome friends.

Shower-karaoke-star · 2021-09-17T08:18:25+00:00

I'm seeing some patterns that go right along with cult behavior, might wanna see some videos about mlms and such, they work on similar principles. Helps you see past the bull shit

Naus1987 · 2021-09-17T01:11:08+00:00

A therapist helps.

Something else is practicing empathy. Cutting off your friend or insulting them because they’re being beta is really harsh.

A guy being a beta doesn’t negatively affect you at all. Just respect their choices and keep being friends.

People burning bridges at the slightly disagreement is plaguing all people in modern society — not just men. Tribalism is bad if you don’t actively have a tribe.

And those strangers on the internet — they’re not your tribe. They don’t even know your name. So why burn bridges with real people to appease some rando on the internet who doesn’t give a fuck about you?

Chasing fake validation by throwing real validation in the trash is bad mojo.

redpillnonsense · 2021-09-17T16:53:50+00:00

Personally, I unsubscribed from all the channels to the point that it no longer appears on my feed. Over time, I'll gradually forget the name of most channels (already did for half of them).

NotinRedpillBubble · 2021-09-17T05:55:14+00:00

The red pill makes many men lonely and miserable. The same way radical feminism does to women. It’s sad but it’s good to acknowledge that you need help

Proxlox · 2021-09-20T17:18:05+00:00

IMO your best bet is to check out a good sexulogists in your area, as those guys are medical professionals and therapists who can provide you necessary support through therapy and advice. If that fails, any LICENSED and GOOD (i.e. recommended by the the others) psychotherapist will work out for a beginning. I don't know much about you, your status, family and sexual life, so you have to be judge here which one will suit you the best. If money is low, you can check out some books written by sexuologists, usually written in popular science language and that can give you an opportunity to face with "reality" or "science", whatever you call it to break out from red pill echo chamber. I have read 3 books (in my native language tho, so I guess I can't recommend these) and it helped me a lot. It enabled me to understand things which I didn't see before (thanks to lack of sex ed and my parents who didn't teach me shit about it).

Most difficult part is choosing a right specialist to help you, as not all of them will suit you. Try to avoid therapists who are not professionals, because proper therapists usually held responsibility for their actions (unlike fresh people with psychology degree, at least in my country).

Best of luck man, you did one big step already, which is breaking out from red pill bubble. It's sad so many people are stuck there and god knows how sexually frustrated they are, enlarging and prolonging their mental suffering by sticking to red pill.

Title	Today I realized I have a problem
Author	JUMPsuperstar
Upvotes	53
Comments	37
Date	September 16, 2021 10:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ppnixm/today_i_realized_i_have_a_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/today-i-realized-i-have-a-problem.1076041 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076041

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