Thank you for the training guys.

I found this sub about 9 months ago. Started trying MRP and failed. I don't lift regularly. Keep in decent shape but no male friends and no outside hobbies.

On vacation this week so I started reading and finished Rational Male, BPP videos, and working through NMMNG. I'm pretty sure I'm as Beta as can be and embarrassed and pissed about it. Thinking about paternity testing the youngest after reading rational male. Damn it.

The reason I failed the first go round is I gave up. I spoke with Athol in November and gave him a lot of background on the wife and I from logs I keep in Evernote. He saw a lot of BPD in her behavior and suggested I get a BPD experienced counselor. I did not get the counselor yet because 8 months of 5 day a week business travel made her tolerable and the sex was great every weekend. I'm off the travel for the past 5 weeks and the sex is gone and she's as cold as ice.

Now for the fun part, lets go on a vacation with the three kids (early teens) and one of their friends to throw gas on this cluster f. I knew this would suck with the wife but I was not even close to understanding how badly it would suck.

We drove from NYC to some lakes above Toronto to spend 5 nights in a house boat and another 5 in a cabin. We were not on good terms before we started driving and were worse off when we got to the harbor. The boat paperwork girl was openly flirting with me while we waited and the wife was getting her neck hair up. We were both trained on the boat operation as captain and co-captain. The dude that trained us kept hitting on the wife and putting me down with sly comments. She ate it up and kept asking him to come with us because he would keep us safe. I STFU and focused on the training. He was about 20 years older than us so later when she started asking what I thought of the guy I told her I thought it was funny as hell that he was hugging all over her and was glad his wife wasn't there doing the same to me. Who knows what she thought, probably got wet but I'm past the DGAF stage with this woman.

We went through three boat locks with me yelling at the kids and the wife to do different things, the wife yelling other directions and then us arguing. Before we went through the fourth lock I assigned everyone a job including the wife, "relay instructions", and instructed each kid on their particular job and order of operation. We entered the fourth lock and they were performing as a team. Except at the last minute the wife started shouting the opposite instructions and the boat started swinging out towards another $$$ yacht. I finally had to tell her to shut up and started yelling out instructions to the crew, we barely avoided a trip ending crash. One of my boys came over as the wife was yelling at me about telling here to shut up and asked what was going on. I said in a very loud, angry voice "she doesn't fucking listen to me!"

That set it off.

The wife grabbed her purse and said you don't speak to me like that. I'm going into town to shop, wait here! I told her, we were going through this lock and onto the final destination and if she wanted to continue the trip with us, she needed to stay on board. She grabbed a bag and said if I wasn't there when she got back she would stay in a hotel and go onto the cabins in a few days. I informed the kids that we would be continuing on, if they wanted to stay in a hotel, shop and eat at restaurants then they should go with the wife. If they wanted to boat they could stay with me. They all stayed with me.

We left.

Kids and I got into a great rhythm and went through about 17 locks with nary a problem. Had an awesome 3 days together. We saw Keifer Sutherland's band (who knew!) and really bonded. The kids were mentioning how much better the trip was now that me and the wife weren't fighting. They did say that the hope we work it out today but reiterated that they were having a great time. The wife texted and emailed but I didn't reply until the following night after her "mutiny". Even then my response was very limited.

Three days later.

Met the wife at the cabin. She was at the in laws cabin when we arrived. I greeted her happily and said hi, I'm glad you made it safely here. She got up and walked to our cabin without a word. I strolled over about ten minutes later and said lets talk. She said she wouldn't be talking to me until July 11 when we get back to Dallas and to get away from her. I stroked her shoulder, smiling and said did you have a good time. She jerked her head away and told me to get out of the bedroom. I smiled and said I'll let you have your time and walked out. She then shut the door. I sat down to read NMMNG. The kids came rolling in and started asking if we made up. I told them to ask the wife and kept reading. She told them I left her at the town so she made up this story about how she wanted to go to that town and I left her and what a horrible person I am. They called her on it so she packed up her book and food and went to the in-laws cabin.

Now I am writing this post.

I'm sure I'll receive shit about my SMV. I know I need to lift and fix that crap. I'm early 40's, 15 lbs over weight and need to put the muscle back on. I have a ton of other BETA qualities that require intensive work.

Question. Was this to much of a dick move? Once again. I really DGAF and would divorce her if I didn't feel like I need to protect the kids from the probable BPD. I can pull 30 something MILF HB8's with ease and am confident I could have landed a 25 HB7 yesterday if I didn't have the kids with me.