Let me know what you think:

Hypothesis

I propose that many people self isolate, from a young age, after deciding they are unattractive – leading to low self esteem, loss of social maturity, unhealthy lifestyle choices, and the joining of a niche community for acceptance and validation.

I have labelled this phenomena ‘Forever Alone Syndrome’ - due to the difficulty an individual then faces in dating outside of their niche community.

Background

Within the geek community, for example, there are trends in people's physical appearance and behaviour that are outside of what one would expect from a random cross section of society. At ‘gamer’ events, there can be observed a gender imbalance, lack of social aptitude, and lack of physical health, to a degree that cannot be explained simply by having a sedentary lifestyle.

Observing an internet picture of a collection of ‘Bronies’ (people in love with cartoon ponies) they are united not just in their collective pony adoration, but in their unattractiveness - be it from obesity, lack of fashion sense, or genetic features.

'Forever Alone Syndrome' is a theory to explain this phenomena.

Stages

Rejection/Bullying

In the formative years of schooling, a person is teased/bullied or ostracized, be it on their appearance, or mannerisms.

They do not date anyone. (They don’t receive contrary information)

Acceptance of labels

The label of being abnormal/inferior/outcast is accepted (subconsciously). They self isolate to reduce the likelihood of further rejection/embarrassment. They subconsciously mostly give up trying to find a partner, and so de-prioritise behaviours that could make them more generally appealing

Ego Protection

Society is blamed for being flawed/shallow/judgemental. They may re-label their attributes for not fitting-in as positives.

Withdrawing from mainstream culture

An individual following this trend would have some of the following symptoms:

Loss of concern about appearance. Loss of social experience/maturity. Particularly - lack of ability to understand the opposite gender. Rejection of mainstream fashion. Obesity. Loss of hygiene. Lack of shaving and haircuts. Bitterness. Anger. Frustration. Desperation. Escapism. Fantasising. Heavy pornography usage. Joining of a niche community (the seeking of acceptance and validation) Low self-esteem Feelings of powerlessness. Defeatism. Laziness.

Dating Attitudes

Their dating strategy might be characterised as seeking an idealised person that won’t be judgemental. There may be the belief that normal women making normal dating choices (dating attractive confident men) are ‘confused’ about what they really want in a partner. And so, there is the potential to project onto an ordinary woman that she is a near ideal goddess that is merely confused (a stalker style relationship). Attempts at dating are ad-hoc and potentially embarrassing (ex. gushing declarations of love in an online message to someone they’ve never spoken to). Ongoing frustration can lead to misogyny.

The overall situation is a negative feedback loop with regards to dating potential. Ego-protective thinking restricts a person’s ability to critically analyse their own actions.

To break free of Forever Alone Syndrome requires setting aside frustration and externalisation of blame, accepting personal responsibility for making oneself appealing, and then initiating the lifestyle changes necessary to create that appeal.