Everyone says Confidence is the number one trait you need to have when picking up women, and I agree. While its not the only ingredient you need, its a main one (kind of like the patty in the burger). The problem is, if you're inexperienced and nervous around women, how the hell do you get that confidence? This is that thread.

I think "Confidence is Competence and Competence is earned." Which means you can sometimes fake confidence for a while, but ultimately true confidence (in picking up women) comes from your competence doing an activity. It becomes innate to who you are, like tying your shoes. You don't need 'to be confident' to tie your shoes anymore, you just do it. But that competence must be earned. You must do it over and over again until it becomes second nature. Only then will you 'have confidence.' I'm very interested in the thoughts of our other experienced sedditors.

While there are no shortcuts to confidence, there are some aids.

  1. Self-Talk. Absolutely the most valuable book I own is "The Self Talk Solution." If you commit to 30 days of just 10 new Self-Talk you're life will revolutionize. My current favorite morning seduction self-talk are "I always have a girlfriend" and "Women love me, and I love women" plus "I am displaying sexual confidence always" and "I am uninhibited about showing my sexual interest." Try it, it works.

  2. Going with wingmen friends. I find when I'm having a good time fucking around with my wingmen friends (eg. clothes shopping) and not specifically trying to pickup I'm way more fun and attractive. It takes the pressure off.

  3. Wear something attractive and new. I bought a new, damn good looking hat (on me) and my interactions with women completely changed that day. One hottie even opened me.

  4. Learn from your bettors. Search your area for a wingman group and go out with guys who are better than you. Their confidence and skills will rub off. Plus, you'll be working on that competence.

Please add to this list with your aids to confidence! We all want more confidence with women.