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2340000 Archive

View 22 posts and 2,611 comments by 2340000 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1007

Story time ☕2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 09:47 AM
750

REMINDER 👑2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 09:01 PM
729

QUEEN SH*T2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:09 AM
590

SCROTES MAD2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:07 AM
562

LESSON LEARNED2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:58 PM
535

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:53 PM
517

STRATEGY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 06:05 PM
472

NICE FOR WHAT?2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:36 PM
320

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:42 PM
297

STRATEGY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 03:21 PM
289

NICE FOR WHAT?2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:02 PM
274

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 09:58 PM
225

RANT2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:39 PM
171

SCROTATION REPORT 2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:23 AM
158

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 01:06 PM
97

DISCUSSION2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 10:14 AM
92

LIES MEN TELL2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 11:31 AM
77

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:40 PM
65

RANT2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 11:34 PM
48

RED FLAG 🚨2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:53 PM
14

MALE DEPRAVITY2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:03 AM
1

DISCUSSION2340000/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 02:13 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,611 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

I know you're doing your best❤️. It's not easy being a mom, especially with a child on the spectrum. Therapy will help you, but also her in the long run. She'll learn from you. Probably already is. I hope you have support from friends/family and are able to make time for self-care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/22 12:29 AM
42

22 y/o girls who have not yet had the chance to fully develop their frontal lobes and experience the world outside of college lol Not my father literally suggesting to every LVM he met to find "a good college girl". It's what he did with my mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/22 12:18 AM
125

I was 21 and he worked in engineering 🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 06:56 PM
480

My ex used some stupid ass mathematical graph chart to explain how I "overreacted" to his abuse...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 04:36 PM
86

watch how they act when they've got the power in a situation Yes! Like everyone, I can detect when I have considerable influence on a person or detect when they're feeling self-conscious. The difference is that non-abusers will either distance themselves because your boundaries aren't strong or suggest ways to feel better if they're close to you. Since men grow up craving coercive contact, influence, and control -- they're constantly looking for ways to gain power. If they have the opportunity t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:20 PM
56

Coffee dates also mean they're rushing dating -that they haven't taken the time to do initial vetting. If he's been on so many dates that it's now cheaper to suggest coffee, he's not serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:09 PM
56

It's clear they know nothing about equity. (1)Women earn less than men, especially considering race/age. (2)We are at higher risk for violence. (3)Our bodily autonomy is illegal.(4) We can't have elective surgeries without male approval. (5) We don't receive pain medication for standard gynecological procedures. What else? Heterosexual partnerships should make the woman's life easier🤷. It should serve us. If she's doing 50/50 from day 1, that is NOT equitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 12:03 PM
35

Seriously! If you're planning to move in with a boyfriend, you need to be married first. No exceptions. If property acquisition is involved, women need financial reassurances. Same for children. If he seriously wants you to have kids, he should offer to supplement your loss of income!! "Marriage is a piece of paper" only works for women not planning to marry or move in with romantic partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 11:50 AM
91

If she's on the title to the house, it's hers also. So, she could sell the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 11:43 AM
25

That makes sense. I hope you're able to find both. It's important to have the same sexual temperament. Sex should be a healthy learning experience and not a competition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 10:10 PM
1

Goddamn sis!😂😂😂😂 You like to 🌟PARTY🌟 🤪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 09:56 PM
70

I know everyone won't agree with me🤷, but I'm a big proponent of finding someone with the SAME SEXUAL HISTORY as you. You're a virgin? Wait for another virgin. Never been kissed? Wait for someone who hasn't had their first kiss. Don't like anal? Refuse to be with a guy that's done it. It's never fool-proof. But it increases the chances of compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 05:24 PM
48

Best advice! This is where the sunk-cost fallacy kicks in. Why does he think HE can save money as opposed to OP saving money?🤔 Living with her will be less work for HIM. We need to stop thinking that men should receive our resources freely, without effort or investment. He wants to move in? 6 months rent in full PLUS security deposit. He wants to have sex haphazardly? Send him your insurance bills. Like wtf. Obviously I'm being facetious. The best solution is block/delete. But seriously think ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 05:07 PM
125

Time reveals all secrets. Let's say you have 9 months (or even 3) to get to know someone. If you wait, something will happen in that time that shows their true feelings: they'll gossip about you, weaponize personal information, manipulate you, etc. If they have ulterior motives, you'll know eventually. This is the main reason why I'm not friendly with people I've just met. I'm courteous/diplomatic, but never friendly. They should take the time to know me as I should them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 11:47 AM
106

How did she not know you two were together as the family friend? Sounds like she knew if she attacked you. I fundamentally don't understand why women get defensive and territorial over men they've created fantasy lives with😑 One time I started a job with 3 other new hires. I was the last to orientation and didn't know one woman already claimed a guy- she just met!! If I spoke to him, she glared at me. Then she grilled me about my dating status. It was uncomfortable. I couldn't do anything withou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 11:36 AM
155

An idiot once asked me if naked women in sculpture is art, what's the difference between that and porn?🤡 Apparently any naked person is pornographic, especially the sexualized female body. Sure, committing heinous acts of violence is art / s🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 01:18 PM
23

Yeah. If he liked OP, she would've known by now. And, he's a chameleon in the workplace. Dating coworkers is a hard 'no'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 01:11 PM
53

Great point. We don't need to use certain language to steer men in the direction we want. Before any type of intimacy, he should offer his recent tests. If he's not on the same page, it's not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 10:43 PM
246

She kept repeating that it wasn't the same "girl"(😬). Unfortunately we're probably talking about girls. Nonetheless his behavior puts her at risk. She's convinced herself that receiving financial security is adequate compensation for her pain. If she gets cervical cancer, will it still be okay that her expenses are charged to his credit card?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 06:17 PM
123

That’s the first thought on my mind ‘where else has this dick been’ Oral STD's are no joke. No one takes it seriously. Look how HSV-1 is treated like the common cold. Having sex as a woman is risky. Then add the possibility of pregnancy, infection, and birth control side effects. Sex just isn't sexy anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 07:20 AM
27

Yes exactly 🚩 Just made a comment. This is good ole' 21st century, modern day trafficking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 01:03 PM
42

Run is an understatement u/r3dl3opard he tried to traffick you. I'm assuming he'd pick the guy/pickme? Guarantee he would've paid them! RUN! DO NOT TALK TO HIM ANYMORE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 01:01 PM
42

Anyways did anyone else notice in the very famous Julia roberts movie pretty women they don’t show the protagonist with any ugly gross men They intentionally cast a White, Western, conventionally attractive woman who magically didn't have a pimp. Julia Roberts negotiating a $20 bj with an ugly guy would distort the illusion of choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 02:45 AM
173

...where do they get this mentality? Girl, classic Madonna-Whore complex. The 19th and 20th century was rife with male philosophers, scientists, religious leaders, and academics detailing how women (wives in particular) had no interest in sex. Good women were sexless with low-libidos. Thus the justification for men "needing" brothels. Men could access what their pure wives wouldn't agree to with prostituted women. Although wives were violated too, it divided women into hierarchies which distract…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 02:26 AM
379

You can be the prettiest, coolest woman, and still get cheated on. I acknowledge the violence Rihanna and Beyonce have endured at the hands of men - Rihanna beaten by Chris Brown and Beyonce in a 12 year age gap relationship with Jay-Z (they started dating when she was 19)🚩 But... These women make pickme music. They harp about their sexual abilities being SO good that it "makes a man act right". Women inevitably believe if they can shake their ass or fellate dick better that they'd be respected …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 01:17 AM
23

BEFORE you consider getting sexual. Every person here is different, but initial vetting takes months. They should discuss exclusivity or relationships before broaching intimacy 🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 08:33 PM
207

Anyone else notice that when you break up with a LVM and they start seeing a new girl they start emulating things that you used to do Babe, I believe that (in addition to other misogynistic motives) men obsess over dating hordes of women to ensure the next won't leave🤔 Follow me here: He'll intentionally abuse one woman, but only acknowledge that she said he never gifted her flowers. So, he gives flowers to the next woman who coincidentally can't "nag" him about his past. Although she gets flowe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:54 AM
250

I vetted a guy who bragged about everything you said. He'll begrudgingly go along with everything without taking any initiative. Apparently their relationship lasted 4 years. He maintained a 4 year resentment because she pursued him and he wasn't going to pass on a no-effort situationship. I could deduce that he abused her in every way possible. It was fucking sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:36 AM
25

Girl I had a grown-ass 28 year old man get his friend to tell me he liked me. Then he avoided me because I didn't buckle at the knees. Using breadcrumbs to bait is manipulative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:23 AM
15

When you really practice FDS, your opinion of men might even improve! Lol. I'll let you know when that happens😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:19 AM
35

Tell me about it. Women are clearly confused when men cry over "the one that got away". He's crying because he envied something she had - money, popularity, social influence, career networks, etc. Cue tears if he can no longer co-opt her success as his own😢😢 Whichever woman he was unable to psychologically conquer, is the one he'll snivel about until the end of time. The one that left when he cheated. The one that didn't grovel. The one that was his Madonna. Whatever the fuck🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:15 AM
34

Anyone that's ever "accused" me of being a lesbian has NEVER seen the light😂😂🤷 Not only is that a heteronormative, compulsive-het stance, it's suggests THEY (the "not all men" crowd) acknowledge that men are emotionally, psychologically, and physically violent and that accepting said violence is a tenet of female heterosexuality!!! WTF Apparently some people are that fucking dense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:08 AM
31

I want someone who makes me laugh. I enjoy dry, witty, pun humor and would be happy with a person that can joke around. I'd also like someone outside of my culture. I grew up in a homogeneous community that had it's benefits, but was too insular. Of course I want physical attraction, consistent income, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 12:05 AM
47

Sis, I spent the majority of my early dating life with men who were the complete opposite of me - personality wise. It never works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 11:58 PM
89

Since you've been on a few dates, it stands to reason that they are NOT interested because they didn't offer to plan a date around the hobby. They could've asked you to join and give them pointers or to be their guide. The only time I use the "I'm going to try that" line is with elevator small talk. Not after a few dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 11:50 PM
342

As a reminder, if you need to criticize him (or any partner) you're not compatible. We should practice boundaries with ourselves and our emotional labor. What good will it do if you repeat why you don't like them following IG models, why you need consistent communication, why the dishes need to be done, etc. Arguing is pointless. They either have what you're looking for or they don't🤷They'll never be motivated to become what you need simply by being in a relationship with you. You should enter d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 09:07 PM
51

Exactly. So if he's not communicating🚩,he doesn't care and is planning to stonewall, ghost you, or breadcrumb you. Not respecting you when you say no is also a red flag🚩. Premature sexual comments are red flags🚩. The list goes on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 09:44 AM
109

Not much pain means there's pain. I'm so sorry. Sex shouldn't be uncomfortable. I have a feeling men know the vagina is a contracting and expanding muscle. The husband stitch is in league with anal. Meaning men want sex to hurt because they enjoy violating women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 12:10 PM
31

On that note, why have I never found a FDS woman IRL?😫 Or even just a rad-fem that's not my university professor? Short supply indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 02:20 AM
70

The men who shame women are same ones raping sex workers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 02:17 AM
126

I'm dead serious about feminine separatism as a way to fight back. Funny you say that because it's exactly why men engage in fearmongering. What are feminists accused of being? - lesbians. Especially considering that same-sex coupling is taboo and previously illegal. A lesbian has no sexual or romantic interest in men. One less woman a man has sexual access to ---- What happens if women have equal access to healthcare/education, fair wages, safe societies, just legal systems? She doesn't need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 02:07 AM
30

Sexual exploitation happens everywhere. There are "temporary marriages" in Islamic countries that force women into sex slavery. Girls are taken from some African countries and sold to India. Russian men are raping Ukrainian women. Even US Congress and law enforcement traffick girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/22 09:34 PM
35

My understanding is that women don't have prostates. We rather have Skene glands. Meaning anal is physically better between men. So, if a man is coercing a woman into anal, it's because he wants to violate/hurt her🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 01:07 PM
64

Exactly. People are way too comfortable with HSV-1.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 02:48 PM
53

Absolutely. In my pickme days, I kissed on the third date!😬 In retrospect, that's entirely too soon. My new rule is no kisses for a few weeks - months. I need to like the person first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 02:46 PM
88

Tell them, sis! I read the text like 👀... Plus he used too many flirtatious emojis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 12:18 AM
236

Unfortunately this is why I believe some women will forever have internalized misogyny - no matter how hard you try. Despite experiencing their fathers, husbands, friends, and bf's violence, they still live in denial. I've witnessed this with my mother and it saddens me. If women de-centered men it'd be easier to live in reality. If you often socialize with men outside dating, not only are forcing yourself to see the men you know as "good", but you're subconsciously filtering your language to no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 01:51 AM
89

This reminds me of my late 60s, white male supervisor who believes anything a woman says is inferior to a man's. Myself or another female colleague will highlight project issues or make suggestions only for him to "run it by" the men in the office and get confirmation from them that we're correct. Unfortunately, women with internalized misogyny think men are more competent. As if their opinion is "official".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 01:30 AM
130

Good analogy. By that rate, more countries in the West will make the exploitation (rape) of sex workers a resource for disabled men. I wish the woman in the video expanded on what being "interesting" and "attractive" means.I'm sure there are plenty of nice guys who are attractive and relatively interesting. But, a nice guy is problematic because he's a misogynist who objectifies women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 01:02 AM
99

Thank you! There is no "hope". He's either proves to be a decent man or not🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 04:18 PM
3

Right! I usually expect 2 video calls over 2 weeks for consistency. If you're struggling to send a zoom link, it's a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 01:02 AM
2

Lol, do a storytime😫 I'm vetting venues in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:58 AM
7

I don't tolerate last minute plans with men or women. Keep your standards intact!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:55 AM
7

I know, it's sad😔. OP's comments are about her bf wanting marriage, kids, etc. It's clear she's scared to start over and lose the idea of being married with children. There's no fear in dumping a LVM. He tested her to see how low he could make her feel. We must let go of the sunk cost fallacy to protect ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:46 AM
16

Thank you👌 He showed the video to insult her. He told her how he felt without saying it verbatim: (1) he feels she's a placeholder (2) that he'd leave her if he earns more money and (3) he doesn't think she's attractive. The longer she stays the more powerful he feels. OP's going to try and prove herself, "forgive", and rationalize what he said. OP u/morenawiththehenna , break up with him, but do it silently. Leave, block, and say nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 12:30 AM
22

He wasn't texting you in the first place and even with communicating he still wasn't stepping up When we uphold our boundaries and refuse to settle for less, there'll be no anxiety about if he's going to communicate. I've dated men who've been consistent and others who haven't. Both LVM of course, but I see no point in asking people to do what they've proven they won't. Rule of thumb: if the thought of [insert gesture] has occurred to you, it's occurred to him👌🏼. All the more reason to block/del…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 10:47 AM
3

they have that glimmer of hope the person will change “this time”. Yeah they want the high in between the low moments - like a drug. As if the bad times are worth 2 minutes of bliss. Nobody is perfect. We're all idiosyncratic and capable of making mistakes in relationships. But mistakes are not ingrained personality traits. Repeatedly hurting someone isn't a mistake. Cheating on them isn't a mistake. Weaponizing misogynistic incompetence isn't a mistake. Explaining this to people with binary thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 04:14 AM
6

Girl I saw a WW compare Will Smith to literal Vladimir Putin. Not to mention sensationalist media channels pretending they're "against" violence. IMO white people need to sit this one out. We're talking about misogynoir, texturism, toxic masculinity, and black women. Nobody has time to dry the tears of white society because they believe Machiavellian artifice is respectable 👀 Nonetheless, both guys have known each other for decades. Rock should've refused to make the joke. And Smith shouldn't ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 03:54 AM
24

Yeah. Everyone's different. Drugs and alcohol are a hard no from me. I may not mind moderate alcohol use for my partner. But men who use recreational drugs and consume alcohol often are questionable. I wouldn't feel safe around those types. Compatibility is important. If I don't do it, I wouldn't date someone whose idea of fun is popping pills🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 04:02 PM
354

Male opinions about women's habits aren't our concern🤷 Women can and should maintain their bodies in whatever healthy way they choose. Thin, thick, large, small are all natural states. Run if you like. Or don't. If anyone has a dental crown or filling it's an unnatural state😆 We can heal women's emotional state without considering what men say about said emotional state.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:29 PM
103

😂... I am honestly LMFAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 12:38 AM
185

"something of vAluabLE"😂😂😂 This man is a whole clown 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 12:36 AM
82

Yes. I say it all the time: people do not change. Especially men. Sure, we get older - adopt new beliefs. But do people really change in the ways that matter? No. Personality traits exist on a spectrum. Someone who's never considered intentional abuse will likely not abuse🤷. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Accepting relationships with people that need to change "past" abuse, addiction, racism, sexism, bullying, stonewalling, gaslighting, triangulation, etc. - means that y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 01:31 PM
98

In the future OP, do NOT engage with men like this. He was shit-testing you from the beginning. The first overly- flirty, sexual message gets him blocked❌. No excuses. You should not be sharing what you're looking for. Rather let him demonstrate who he is. Words and actions are completely different. As time goes on you will not be surprised by male behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 01:07 PM
56

Directing the conversation back at men (where it belongs) will help us stop endlessly debating the male gaze. Pointing the finger at women is the excuse men give. It is not the reason they behave that way. Presenting in a conventionally feminine way with "hidden" feminist ideals doesn't make you a bimbo - it humanizes you. And it's a MALE ideology that says women must fall within a binary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 04:13 PM
131

And that's not a natural function of heterosexuality, that's a fetish...that means you're not attracted to women, you're attracted to signifyiers of compliance with the male gaze. I absolutely agree. Judging women by male standards is a bottomless pit of disappointment. We cannot validate the male gaze as a just metric. I met a woman at work who had a lovely short haircut. But the women and the men kept saying it was a "mom cut". Not only are mothers rendered sexless, but it's downright insultin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 03:52 PM
210

My problem is that men are STILL at the forefront of these pseudo-progressive discussions😑 Male violence is a men's issue. Women should only be concerned with playing the offense - a.k.a. protecting themselves. I will not police my body in a vain effort to shield myself from male aggression. Nor will I behave as if my body is inherently sexual. Calling ourselves bimbos is ridiculous because we should be disregarding ALL male opinions. That includes "reclaiming" a slur. Who cares how men interpre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:07 PM
19

Girl, this is profound! Saved and awarded your comment! We all know the lies men tell, but you definitely put everything into perspective. I thought men wanted crazy women because they're "great in bed" and accept sexual abuse as kink. So why does every guy complain about his crazy ex and try to make me swear I'm not crazy????????🤔🤔 Apparently crazy women are women who do anything but what a man wants. Considering the historical precedent of men institutionalizing their wives, I take "crazy" acc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 01:02 AM
130

Someone said it🤷 That man is JUST like his bros. She's believing him because she knows the truth would be grounds for a break-up. Men are the company they keep. I met a guy whose friends were all heavy drug users - surprise-surprise, he was too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:35 AM
145

Yes. We congregate on FDS, uphold rad fem ideologies, and make daily efforts to undo our internalized misogyny. For a man to be decent, respectful, non-misogynistic, etc - he has to make the same effort to undo his sexism and explicit/ implicit violence towards women. If he's not actively trying to make a difference, he's part of the problem. He needs to do more than just paint his nails🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:31 AM
122

He needed to be taught how to cook, clean, and fought tooth and nail not to do either Weaponized incompetence. My new rule for dating a man (after I've seen his house) is if I wouldn't live there, in that condition, dump him. My ex never cleaned. He had shitty kitten litter everywhere. Dirty laundry, you name it. Never again❌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 08:18 PM
25

It's cause we are sexual assault survivors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 08:08 PM
27

Damn. Bingo! Same with abusers and the silent treatment. If you do something he doesn't like, he stays silent to scare you into silence yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 08:05 PM
32

He's a vile creature for doing that to you. You're not alone. Thanks for sharing that with us. I know trauma never leaves you, but I hope it's gets better for you everyday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 08:00 PM
55

Shit, hon. My ex told me he "couldn't wait long". All this after sexually assaulting me in public and coercing me into sexual situations. So, because I felt guilty and couldn't say no without fear of being stranded or kicked out, I said "okay".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 07:57 PM
276

His sperm is powder by now😆 What the fuck does he think he had to offer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:00 AM
261

Men see women as opportunities to actualize their power😫 If or when he fails - it's still her fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:59 AM
19

Sounds like he wanted to be the only one to abuse you. And wanted you to find comfort in being his???? Way to play the savior🤮 This only makes sense in their brains.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:48 AM
149

It's redundant and honestly a headache asking, "but which ones?" It completely minimizes the lived experiences of women. Why should we concoct multiple rebuttals (therefore undergoing extra intellectual labor) so male violence makes sense to men?🤔 It's a ploy. Men know themselves, their friends, their fathers, their siblings enough to understand we're telling the truth. But, playing stupid allows them to deny that they're violent and part of the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 06:26 PM
295

There's nothing you need to do. I was in university before and I understand the allure of a meet-cute. But you don't know him. Has he proven his political views? Do you know the women he's met or had sexual contact with? Have you studied his hygienic habits? Do you know who he follows on social media? What sites or apps has he used? These questions are answered with time. Also He’s a little shy No, he isn't. we are basically long distance until I move to the city No, you aren't. You've been on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 02:40 PM
67

"Girls...will become women, and will learn to make their peace with this [male violence] because there’s no way to escape the narrow vision of our destiny as refracted through the crystal ball of the patriarchy" -- Pauline Harmange
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 01:03 PM
99

I would not be so quick to assume that the man pulled moves on her...What’s rightfully yours will be yours. You just need to put in the work to glow up, boss up, level up and know when something or someone wasn’t meant for you Girl, your energy is ALL wrong. You need to take a step back. The man "pulled"?🤔 So, he's "rightfully yours" now? You're gloating because you feel picked🤷. Your confidence hinges on his desire for you, sis. See how he's already affected you? You shouldn't feel like this at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 12:27 PM
57

Yeah. Ignore them both. The guy knows the other woman likes him. He will attempt to use you too. Separate yourself from women who engage in petty competition. A few years ago I started a job and was the last to meet my cohort. One woman that arrived first, made her claim on the epitome of LVM. She glared at me whenever I spoke to him. I could barely relax. The most annoying shit😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 12:04 PM
12

married women always look scorned Because they're mistreated. The only time I see them satisfied is (1) when they're telling a single woman or an aspiring wife, they're married. Or (2) when they get respect because the people she knows respect her husband - which some wives falsely believe is respect for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 04:31 AM
30

As hopeless as it sounds, I think some women will never wake up. They honestly have unconditional love for men. My mother is in her early 60s still denying that male violence exists. It's never the men she knows🙄.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 02:10 PM
34

You can be a millionaire and have no common sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:53 PM
93

He also thought it was "funny" that rapper Eminem uses violence against women in his songs. He said it's just his "schtick"... And, his attempted criticism of Kanye was way too tepid for my tastes🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:52 PM
147

Hate to be a pall on this "HVM" party, but words aren't actions. We don't know him in real life. Men pretend to be feminist all day. Not fazed🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:48 PM
23

The writer wrote that men are “terrified” of being cancelled She means she's terrified of cancelling men. Whenever some pickme spouts "a false allegation could ruin a man's life", I ask when has a mans life been ruined because he was a rapist, let alone a falsely convicted one? Because nothing happens. These men become presidents, senators, police officers, politicians. Or they just move to a new job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:57 AM
27

Your words are brilliant and I 100% agree. I read a bit, but decided to bookmark for later because the tip-toeing pissed me off. Women are afraid to admit they mitigate the lived experiences of billions of women to keep men satisfied. Because to them - "there are plenty of good guys and what happened to my mom, best friend, and my sister was a one-off"🙄. My only worry with inserting "radical" views into mainstream society, is the message will be filled with euphemisms. A girl raped by a man is a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:49 AM
19

Abusers and repeat criminal offenders must feed their cognitive dissonance. I don't think, not for one second, that he believes he's right. He's observed thousands of men assaulting women with impunity. As patriarchy demands, he regurgitates this ideology in mixed company to ensure that you, u/Hestia_moderni, and the women with you, question the truth. I bet he's behaved exactly like Louis C.K. He will forever be a danger to the women he knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:27 AM
122

Her story absolutely breaks my heart. She's been through the most brutal abuse at the hands of men. It's hard interacting with guys (on any level) knowing they watch rape content. It's always at the back of my mind - I'm like, "you're a rapist" - "bet you watch abuse content". They know porn stars by name and can identify women in public! Imagine being so addicted. Never date a man that watches porn, follows IG models, or subscribes to OF. Never!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 11:25 PM
150

Social media (Tik Tok, Instagram, Twitter) has proved that millions of women have hemorrhoids, anal bleeding, and irreparable damage because of a DEPRAVED, piece of shit man😔 Reading her story made me cry. I cannot understand why she's still not against porn. People are too afraid to hurt people's feelings. Who cares if being anti-porn is polarizing? That's the point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 11:20 PM
41

“I do it for myself” line is always just sad. This is a very thin line to walk (😬) because you're assuming that anything a woman does is subconsciously or consciously for men. Wearing nice clothes - for a man. Styled her hair - for a man. Woman does anything to adorn herself - for a man. Reminder that men created that dichotomy to terrorize women - to keep us in "competition" with each other. Margaret Atwood's male fantasy quote rings true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:31 PM
16

You are coming in clutch with these posts! Thanks for the educational content. As sad as it is, I love to see it. It helps so much to have context😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 12:29 AM
209

Sounds like she knows he watches her OF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 05:46 PM
155

Good question. IMO reasonable compromise is - "I'd like to eat at this restaurant, but will eat at another since my partner likes it". What we don't do is move for a guy. We don't uproot our lives to be closer to a man we'll be vetting our whole life (or until the end of the relationship). Compromise should never make you dependent on him. It should never make you adjust your standards or boundaries. And if it's possible (no kids, other ties, etc), don't make decisions about your life as if he w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 05:43 PM
55

Gosh this is absolutely horrific. I don't know if I've ever met one man who I didn't suspect was capable of such violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 07:51 AM
33

if she stops all her friendships he is of course allowed to go out any time without her for a boys night Yep because male logic says shes clingy now🙄 A few months back, I met a guy who kept sending passive aggressive messages because he knew I was out with a friend🚩 And my ex (before him) told me I would've known he was a bad guy if I had more friends. Can't win.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 01:42 AM
41

We always go back and forth here about what kinds of things we should hold ourselves accountable We do - the debates are endless. I think it's right to criticize other women. But never accept the same from men because it's meant to humiliate women. Plus criticism doesn't mean she's 100% to blame. There's a difference between novice daters that actually don't know, women in denial, and women weaponizing their pickmeism. Ditching your friends for a guy is something some women publicly condemn, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 01:31 AM
241

"sAturDays arE foR the bRos" Said every Hinge tech guy. Solution = just date your friend then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 10:41 PM
429

Don't be deceived. They're laughing because misogyny and sexism are the fundament of male homosocial relationships. If you didn't "put him first" he'd abuse you for it; He'd triangulate you with your friends. Crazy how they still find a way to blame women for the dynamic THEY create. Edit: For the women with "he is right" energy- men have NO right to mock women for the ways we respond to misogyny. Notice how the tweet doesn't encourage men to explore gendered relationship dynamics. He encourages…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 07:21 PM
19

I don't know if this is the same woman from your FLS post (the one your coworkers pitted you against. If it is just ignore them and her). But if she wants to be happy, why not? Success is annoyingly linear is our society. We think trade schools are "less than". And now a Bachelor's Degree is the new highschool diploma😂. You'd be so much more content with yourself (and other women) if you ignore what people say. I went to university, got my degrees, but I wouldn't say that makes me smart. We can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 04:22 PM
44

Great response! Stop falling in love with PROJECTED potential. If you don't like him, even one bit, leave. Why waste your time?🤷 It's not realistic to assume a person won't gain weight during their life. Belly fat should be the least of your worries with men. If he isn't sedentary and wasting away, what's the problem? I'd really like some FDS'ers to stop assuming being a HVW (and a HVM) is fitting Eurocentric, Western beauty ideals. If you want that, cool. But it's a weird hill to die on when th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 03:57 PM
214

Am I the only one that hasn't seen coverage or even a segment related to gender war crimes against women? Sure, there are articles. But what else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:09 PM
60

True. But if you can't establish new boundaries over the course of a relationship without pushback from them, they're an abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:07 PM
100

Don't even state it. Silence is key. Let him behave how he wants. He wants to neg you and coerce a walk (eventually back to my apartment) date? Okay🤷 - I'm not replying. Has he never opened the door, paid for your Uber, kept consistent communication, or planned dates? Okay🤷 - block/delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:04 PM
94

Learned this the hard way. Next time I'm documenting racism and telling nobody without a lawyer first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:00 PM
109

That's horrible girl😔. He's definitely a sadist. This explains why I hate pressure from female communities to be "classy". It's respectability politics with male centric rhetoric. So, we're not concerned with his abusive behavior? Just being a respectable abuse victim? It's 100% gaslighting. A man like that would've "stayed" had you been colder because (in his mind) that would indicate that he hadn't psychologically broken you yet. And obviously it's a power play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 06:57 PM
139

When I reported a sexual battery, I could sense the officers didn't take me seriously because I was crying. I'm not saying that women should show less emotion. There's nothing wrong with crying or being distraught. I'm saying that society, at large, ignore women's needs. We're seen as inconvenient. A GOP candidate in the U.S. recently said that rape victims should "lay back and enjoy it". Shows how much men care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 06:49 PM
25

If we had no money or resources, men would have more access to us. It's his roundabout way of saying he wants to rape women and abuse those in vulnerable situations. At this point in my life the ONLY thing that turns me on is a check 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 02:36 PM
159

It's exactly how women have been trained. He abuses me.... But at least I'm his girlfriend/wife He cheats.... But he comes home to me. If I prove my worth... He'll propose. If I enable, excuse, and justify his poor behavior.... He'll think I'm hot. Women consider male validation more valuable than self-actualization. To many, it has more societal power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 02:32 PM
175

Girl, I am so sorry. I would absolutely make it a roommate condition with legal penalties. Why should you need such safety measures in your own fucking house? I have literally NO patience for pickme women anymore. We aren't safe with them because they lack discernment, empathy, and boundaries. Their lives revolve around men🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 11:34 PM
17

They try so hard to deny male violence. It's literally a trauma response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 06:36 AM
67

Later, you'll be proud of the decision you made today! Any guy who switches up for 4 days is shit-testing you. He wants you to beg for validation and believe his behavior is your fault. I guarantee he's used this tactic before. Watch him reach out again when he's realized it didn't work😆 Glad you know you deserve better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 06:16 AM
117

Exactly. People only follow what's popular out of fear. If social awareness wasn't trending on Instagram and TikTok, nobody would care. Because male violence is still seen as a women's issue, women especially will stay silent because 5 people in her immediate environment don't agree. And, people are afraid of being isolated from the benefits of community. They'd rather enable a white male sex-tourist (aka rapist), than limit conversation or call out his behavior. Most people are cowards at the o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 10:39 AM
51

Yes. And if we're going to criticize women, it shouldn't be in the presence of men. We get enough blame outside our female communities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 04:03 PM
55

This. If a guy ever gets beyond my 3 mandatory video chats before in-person dates, I'm definitely waiting a month before kissing🤷 He needs to make considerable, intentional effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 03:59 PM
60

Isn't this the 'get rich quick' scammer guy🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 01:56 PM
2

Lol. We love a leveled up queen! That's great. But I am planning on doing exactly that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 09:36 AM
1

Does that explain your username?😆 Honestly, everything seems fucked. I envy what I believe is a better quality of life in certain parts of Europe or Asia. I think people are more relaxed there. I don't want to be consumed with Pomp and Circumstance. But it's the same for people that emigrate to the states.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 09:21 AM
1

No. I agreed with you. Your comment has my red upvote, but it says 0. I think it's just lurkers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 09:10 AM
1

Yeah certifications can get you really far. Degrees are tied to jobs that (in most instances) provide healthcare. It explains why education can be inflated thousand of dollars. If people never vote for local representatives that promise to pass bills separating capitalism, big business, and education, then we're stuck with the degree = dental care paradox.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 08:57 AM
1

I see your point. I don't think the OF woman was criticizing the pursuit of knowledge. But actually the education system since she mentioned getting a degree only to have fast-food career prospects. Which I know is a bit of an exaggeration, but true in some instances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 08:46 AM
40

I bet he installed a spy camera for this "gift".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:17 AM
44

People hide all types of depraved behavior. What I want is full, complete public access to police REPORTS. In America police records can be accessed with a written request. However, that is a lengthy process and law enforcement isn't known for their transparency and stellar ethics. My ex didn't have court records. But how many women will know about my police report? Close to none unless he becomes famous and multiple people look into his past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:04 AM
20

I'm so sorry he did that😔 I wish I knew what to say. I hate being overly optimistic. And hate too much pessimism. What I will say is that you still have value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 01:52 AM
20

to hear a young woman frame any opportunity for education as exploitive rather than a method of furthering and improving yourself disturbs me Unfortunately, education (especially in America) is meant to be exploitative. Just like healthcare. It's woven into capitalism. That is the point. the US does not make it easy. But I wonder why people dont see that as motivation to learn more By not "easy" do you mean discrimination, racism, sexism, ageism, and poverty? That's supposed to motivate people? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 01:36 AM
35

It's depressing to consider OF women influencers. Seriously, "content creation"? OF women can be trafficked too. Although I agree that capitalism increases the working poor class, boasting about making 200k annually is insensitive to the women that don't have a choice. She could've kept that to herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 12:53 AM
270

I was vetting a guy who gloated about abusing his ex. To my face he told me she pursued him and was "desperate"; that she was coNtrOLling and clingy. And of course that she was crazy with mental disorders. He wanted to make sure I wasn't like that🙄. Men will take anything that is convenient. As the internet demonstrated, peanut butter jars or socks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 05:30 PM
65

I don't know why MGK wasn't arrested after that interview. Hollywood is rife with pedophiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:31 AM
29

Me too! I'd love for that to happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 11:47 PM
12

😂😂😂😂😂 Best thing ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:48 PM
45

This is definitely an 18-21 year old woman. 37?? Um, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:41 PM
137

Sunk cost fallacy😑. For both of them. He's manipulated her into submission. 10 years of "effort". She's scrambling for a wedding to make sense of the pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:32 PM
188

This is golden 🌟 stop treating everything as important and become more selective. Another FDS woman explained that men like coercive contact. Their goal is to rush you into decisions or make you feel like the only option is to agree [sidenote: I accept this is necessary in dangerous, survival situations] But, sticking to my boundaries has brought me considerable peace. When I was afraid of losing validation or my outsourced respect, I was never selective because I was in a "be grateful" mindset.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 01:59 AM
184

Misogyny makes women ashamed to defend themselves. Society wants us less resistant to male violence. Being "rude" is tied to everything from desirability to financial earning power. Saying she's hateful is a roundabout way of calling her ugly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 01:38 AM
114

Is toxic positivity a Western thing? Also something rooted in racist ideologies? So, passive aggression is civilized? But, refusing to speak is "primitive"? Men will bully you with witnesses present. Yet, we're problematic for not speaking? Same with any social/professional setting. That shit really grinds my gears😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 01:20 AM
121

Her actions say “I’m low value with extremely low self-worth. Um, what do his actions say? I understand your sentiment, but women shouldn't change their behavior to "prove" that they aren't prostitutes. We change our behavior to respect ourselves and to respect other women. A woman's self-esteem journey should have nothing to do with men. I don’t make the rules They're not rules. They're male opinions. In fact, worthless. When we say de-center men, this is what we mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 01:10 AM
150

Software Engineer Data Scientist IT Manager Everyone...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 03:25 PM
37

I can't believe she put Olympic Gold Medalist second! Second!???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:43 AM
36

Simone is an incredibly accomplished woman. But, I was giving her a side-eye with this faux-gagement😬... Like, why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 12:03 AM
38

Thank you. Someone said it👆 Misogyny is second nature for people. Expressing an opinion is "bitching" and cowardly people are "pussies". If you're still struggling with this part of internalized misogyny, replace that word with "woman". If it doesn't makes sense, stop using it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 01:42 AM
82

Oh, you don't need to count that. It was painful. I understand how you feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:21 PM
17

It's okay :) Even if you did hard drugs, someone still made the conscious decision to rape you. I know you said it's different from the situation above. But since it's an empty memory, you can't be sure. That means the guy you woke up to wasn't unsure. He knew. Whatever helps you heal though. A guy told me I couldn't make him wait long for sex. He often coerced me asking 3-4 times after I said no. Since I wanted to have sex (in the general sense), it was hard to reconcile being coercively raped.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 03:35 PM
26

He would've eventually escalated to hitting you. I hope you'll be okay tomorrow❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 01:35 PM
84

As a woman who enjoys dressing up, I'm no longer dating men that don't value style. They'll end up like that guy . When I was dating my ex, I often wore carefully curated outfits with leather heels. He showed up in stained khakis. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:38 AM
15

And women are preparing for 30 seconds of orgasm-less hell😑 Saw a post for a dick riding class (for women) with a Valentine's day "special". Am I supposed to believe that men put equal effort into learning clitoral stimulation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:19 AM
117

I act clueless with men now so they fuck up with the next woman. Omg your ex was coNtrOLling with unrealistic "expectations". She's a total meanie👉👈😡...🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:11 AM
56

Why are sex parties a thing? It's like a guaranteed STD🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 08:04 AM
20

This was the root of my pickmeism. I was passive because "opinionated" women are unattractive. And men bullied opinionated women. I thought if I dressed "modestly" I wouldn't get harassed because men only violate women in short skirts & tight clothes. It took 23 years to unlearn that😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 07:55 AM
33

It wasn't your fault. Please know that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 07:44 AM
301

Yes, the pick-me term is also popular outside of this sub. Women on social media criticize the cool-girl and manic pixie identity. But some still promote male-centric ideologies which is counterproductive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 07:37 AM
53

I feel bad for her. Glad she left, but men never change. They want a woman who's perennially trusting; someone who's in denial. Doesn't matter how old they get. If they were capable of depraved behavior once it means the urge still exists. Who wants a man that was a nightmare before? I don't like men enough to justify such behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 01:37 PM
85

Abusers want a clean slate. If he stays with the current gf, she'll keep trying to hold him accountable for his past behavior: cheating, lying, future faking. They're driven by ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 01:15 PM
85

It tells me he's still an addict. The point of not consuming porn isn't to replace it with yet another unhealthy obsession. For the women attempting to excuse this behavior: girlfriends are NOT substitutes for porn! It's not cute if he stops because he "has" you!🙄🙄 He should stop using porn for moral/ethical reasons. NOT because yoUrE hOt and can bounce for 10 minutes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 04:29 AM
102

So we're supposed to risk bipolar disorder, weight gain, and hormone fluctuations so he can go condomless??🤔🤔 They don't care what BC does to our bodies. It's heartbreaking to know that women accept STD's, abuse, sexism, and misogyny as drawbacks when dating men, not deal-breakers. My university friend contracted syphilis from a fwb. My dad bragged about my mom being a "clean woman" - he gave her crabs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 02:38 AM
168

The trash took itself out! Glad you stuck to your boundaries! This is exactly how we should respond!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 04:12 PM
51

Agreed. You can't tell anyone how to treat you. They either treat you the way you like, or they don't 🤷. Yes, I am against revealing vulnerable things to guys. However, I also wouldn't stay with a guy who I didn't trust with my past. I wouldn't explain in detail the way I would to a therapist. But I may gloss over things. Eventually it will come up, and I'd rather lose the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 12:44 PM
75

How long have you been dating prior to the relationship? Were you dating for 6 months, "together" for 3 months? 3 months - I'd get him nothing. 6 months - Still get him nothing 1 year - something small. Valentine's day is once a year. I would expect that he'd do the gift giving. I wouldn't mind paying for a dessert or an outing. I'm hesitant to purchase a gift specifically intended for him. Yeah, no😂. But that's just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 12:33 PM
21

I understand where you're coming from. But I don't see the point. I'll go as far to say that women shouldn't socialize with men in group settings. Obviously we go on dates. But, you are who you spend time with. Groupthink is the silent killer. So many women I've known were afraid to hold men accountable for inappropriate remarks and predatory behavior because it would disrupt the group "harmony".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 02:08 AM
90

I've said it 100 times: people underestimate how pathological men are. Porn, domestic violence, emotional violence, etc. helps men humiliate women. They want to be capable of breaking a woman's spirit. It makes them feel powerful, influential, important, blah blah blah. Sure, guys can pretend like they're scared of confronting another man.. potential fight or whatever🙄. But the real reason why men stay silent is because they (1) behave that way too (2) think the woman "deserves" it and/or (3) ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:59 AM
156

Thanks for this post. I agree, a country is not "progressive" if violence against women in commonplace; if women's rights are under debate. On intersectionality: Denmark is racially homogeneous. So, yeah white people are happy. RIP Mia. It's traumatic to hear about yet another woman dying from male violence. Society will continue to produce cowards. Everyone's ill - equipped to fight the male power structure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 01:31 AM
74

NO fucking way are we agreeing to that🙄 Men know exactly what they're doing. They want us to "earn" a planned date, prove our worth, and never expect effort. One guy tried with me and he was blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 12:26 AM
75

All the old songs are making a return. There's a popular song on TikTok by Three 6 Mafia and the lyrics talk about g@ng r@ping women/giving each man a "turn". Apparently nobody thinks twice about the lyrics. They just want views.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 12:25 PM
100

"taken" men who don't get on dating apps look for women on Instagram and Facebook. Just delete him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:48 PM
34

I remember seeing a Ted Talk about pedophilia and pederasty being a "sexuality". And it was a fucking woman speaking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 11:45 AM
47

Sis, I never watched porn before meeting my ex. Was staunchly anti-porn too. But after abusing me, he left. And for 2 weeks I watched clips in an effort to "learn" tricks. Worst days of my life. Let's just forgive ourselves😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 11:41 AM
96

Yes!! Matching his energy or giving less does nothing but entertain him. Anything other than block/delete means you're still interested 😑. Women may think they're strong and don't tolerate bullshit, but actually are tolerating the MOST shit. I see it all the time: submissive pickmes are too easy, no fun. Women that leave immediately, don't play at all. But women in the middle enable the toxicity. Guys marry women in the middle. And that's why this ideology is so popular 🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 09:24 PM
68

This is an over-share😣 But I was disgusted when my mother told me (a decade later) that when my brother was a tween/teen, he was sent to the school administrators for exposing his penis to a girl. She used the "not my boy" defense and said the girl couldn't "get her story straight" when questioned. I grew up never knowing that. I lost whatever respect I had for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 11:52 AM
39

Good job, momma! I hope it makes a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 11:43 AM
166

Dad's a LVM for sure. No moral objections because "not a religious family"🙄. When liberal feminist men get on their soapbox about not degrading women, it's completely superficial. They're usually talking about women they don't have relationships with. The obligatory don't grab women, don't jump out the bushes and rape women, women can wear spaghetti straps, etc. It's a start, but not addressing the real problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 11:33 AM
294

Does he have 7,7.5, or 8 inches for these 7,7.5, or 8 women? Will he just rub your labia majora? 🤔🤔🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 11:23 AM
17

Same women who give the "you better not hurt her" talk🙄 Same women who say shit nothing when the guy in question does in fact hurt her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:27 PM
136

I wish. But most women don't realize it's a double standard. Even if they do, there's still too much shame in being "f*ck zoned". Makes them scared to speak up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:50 AM
10

It always strikes me as bizarre how loyal men are to women who dump them and how indifferent they are to women who date them It's a pain trying to rationalize men's neurotic ways. The male psyche is a mix of misogyny, self-loathing, and entitlement. These guys abuse, exploit vulnerable women, watch violent porn, commit crimes, bully people. So they KNOW they're undeserving of good things. They don't want what they chase. Only to feel like they could get it if they wanted. A test of their desirab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 11:40 AM
52

On a serious note, is this where we are now? FDS women referring to other victimized women as getting "railed"? So it's worse that people know? Not that she was most likely drugged or used drugs to cope? Plus why did you watch it with them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:10 PM
82

Yes! My previous boss literally said he wouldn't hire a qualified candidate because they were overweight. I also had a boss that kept trying to fire non-white, non-straight employees. And POC aren't hired because of their hair. It does happen👆 Reddit is a reflection the world we live in. You won't hear these stories on the nightly news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:05 PM
295

He sent her OF to the hiring manager to humiliate her. Imagine being so emotionally stunted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:01 PM
208

Oh absolutely. Being a sex worker and a tech intern humanizes her too much. Misogyny is structural and systemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:56 PM
362

Men are pathological. Women participate (or are forced) into sex work because they have little to no job prospects! I bet she's great at coding. And he knew she would reject him. You know every guy I've ever worked with asked for my social media. Every single one. They're fucking pigs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:53 PM
257

I just don’t understand why some women don’t love themselves I think part of the reason why she refuses to leave him is because of their enmeshed friend group. Imagine you're friends with pickmes who are friends with LVM. Boundaries do not exist! And at some point everyone either hooked up or had crushes on each other. When Jane gets pregnant with baby#2, what is OP going to do? Smh🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:35 PM
47

Can't access abortions so we're throwing ourselves down the stairs? Shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:05 AM
264

These "dates" are intended for RELATIONSHIPS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:01 AM
263

They're never remorseful! Yesterday there was a post from a guy who did nothing to interfere with a girl being raped. He made sure to mention that she previously rejected him. How do you rationalize that?🤔 I'm convinced over 90% of men have committed crimes. Everything from sneaking "feels" to coercive rape to revenge porn. These guys are people's husbands, father's, teachers, friends, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:28 AM
340

Why does such a thing even exist?🤮 Men are barbaric. I would cry myself to sleep if that happened. So, I know she's in pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 11:09 PM
239

Men say all sorts of things. But when you have internalized misogyny and crave male validation, you make excuses. He'll tell you he doesn't "respect" you enough for a relationship unless you have sex with him; that you're insecure because he watches porn; that he wants to sleep with other people; to try anal.... And we're brainwashed to accept that and prove our worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 06:34 PM
46

IME, I was told I could make a written report or press charges. The university officer (a pickme) said charges would drop if he denied it because I had no "proof". And where he assaulted me wasn't in sight of cameras. I still made the report for a paper trail because if a man tries once, he will again. The officer was dismissive, so I hope she actually submitted the report. I'm pained to hear what a low-life guy did. You're not alone❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 09:25 AM
171

Good on you for standing your ground to that auntie😂 Colorism and featurism in brown/black communities is a disease. Everyone wants to look whiter, have European features, socialize in white circles, etc. This is the legacy of colonialism. I used to work with a Bangladeshi guy who kept talking about my skin tone being lighter than his. But we're both POC🙄. He was horrible to people his color or deeper. Especially women. I'm tired of the racism. Tired of xenophobia. People are just toxic to be ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:14 PM
58

Isn't it ironic that all women have experienced some sort of male violence, yet it's still our fault? Even women will engage in victim blaming. If the guy is abusive, the woman's not "strong" enough🙄. If he cheats, it's because she "allowed" it. And, if he finds a woman that can "handle his bullshit", then that's why he doesn't abuse her, but would reasonably abuse other women. Men's behavior is not our responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 08:10 PM
135

Yeah racism, sexism, habitual lying, and normalized male violence isn't "normal guy behavior".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:09 PM
81

Yes! And wasn't Sleeping Beauty cursed to prick her finger on a spindle? And forced to sleep until a man kissed her without consent? The story of "jealous" Maleficent too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 09:26 PM
75

My thoughts exactly. When I still practiced Christianity, I couldn't help but recognize that the single motivation behind men being decent humans (or at least pretending to be) was because other men were holding them accountable. So, without religion you'd be murdering, raping, and stealing? The guys are still narcissistic assholes. But it's interesting observing people in utter turmoil fighting their true nature. It shouldn't be that hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 10:47 PM
43

Me too😔 I kept crying yesterday. I didn't know her, but it was refreshing to see someone like myself make it. She accomplished so much, but I know it was hard for her. Accomplishments don't produce happinees. We're pressured to perform for society even if it's not healthy for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 01:27 PM
12

With my ex this was true. I feel the same. In every instance he initiated, it was coerced. The propaganda makes us preemptively sacrifice ourselves for men's amusement. Thanks for the post!😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 10:48 AM
6

I know. Me either! I wanted you to make a post, but decided to do so myself. It's harmful and not many people think beyond the 20-40 minute episodes. And everything is influenced by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 11:40 PM
44

Yes, that too! But also that women are afraid to de-center men from their life. You can't fall back on male validation. You're forced to think critically about your experiences, not just passively accept them. It makes women more emotionally vulnerable b/c they risk relationships with people that normalize misogyny (i.e. family) Gaslighting is more likely. All of that happened to me and other women who learned to say "no". It's hard sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:37 PM
202

She means it's a violation of trust, perverted, objectifying, and 100% cheating. His behavior foreshadows a sexual crime. You can NEVER be friends with men. Keeping men around is a fear response. Women must let go of fear and take men's behavior at face value. Critically think about what it suggests about his true nature. It's not a game!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 11:34 AM
312

It's the same when men have children. If it's a girl, suddenly he considers women human because they're somebody's daughter🙄.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 08:04 AM
37

Yep. If you have to decide whether to take someone back, it means that you shouldn't. Find a person who doesn't need to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 11:22 PM
54

Exactly why men who've mistreated even one woman will NEVER change. To behave that ways means he willingly abuses and also think his abuse isn't that bad. That's pathological.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 05:37 PM
65

Even with media like this, people still don't get it. I run early in the morning so men in my neighborhood don't know where I live or yell at me from their cars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:58 PM
80

He called his wife an animal?😑 And Cavett still interviewed him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 12:46 PM
190

It's a shame women become famous only after they're seen in sexual situations - sex tapes, nudity in movies, etc. On a side note, it seems to be happening with Zendaya. Zendaya starred in a Netflix film, Malcom & Marie. And although I've never seen it, the trailer is suggestive. She is a celebrity in her own right, but men are flocking to her in ways they haven't before. I think it's because they could imagine her in sexual scenarios - hence masturbating to it. I have yet to meet a man that admi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 06:56 PM
27

Men police other men that don't enable/perpetuate misogyny. That's where the term [simp] comes from. Misogyny benefits men. And feminism benefits women. You'll find contention about "acceptable" feminism and "acceptable" misogyny that criticizes the norm, but never changes it. Like libfem. All criticism, no real change. About pickmes: not only do pickme women put themselves at risk, but other women too. Even if it's not direct contact with men, pickme women victim blame and deny male violence. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 12:23 PM
30

Absolutely. They're both horrible. But, I was shocked that he felt justified enough to sue. In his mind money increased his chances of sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 03:52 AM
8

Wapner died in 2017. I know of people who've applied and gotten on the show. But, I'm sure the producers have fake cases to boost views.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 01:54 AM
30

I know😂. It started airing in the 80s. I forgot about it until this video appeared in my YouTube suggestions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 12:19 AM
172

The People's Court is an American reality TV series that takes small-claims cases. To be on the show, both parties agree to binding arbitration, making the final decision up to the judge/tv host. So, a 59 year old guy tries to sue a 20s woman after she refuses to be intimate. He opened a credit card in her name, paid for dinners, paid her bills, and other stuff which he now feels was a "loan" because she said no to sex. They were dating for 3 months😭. Start at 1:35 to skip the weird intro. Cultu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 10:12 PM
138

Yeah, seriously. I meet women who socialize way too much with men. The problem with having men (who aren't a romantic interest you've vetted) in your immediate circle, is you're required to be "nice". You're required to minimize, dismiss, and enable their passive misogyny and emotional violence to get along. You start caring about what a porn-addicted man thinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:17 PM
76

Men's brain receptors are fucked. They can't enjoy making out because of kink culture and instant gratification. I remember making out with my ex for 10 minutes and thinking I wasn't entertaining him enough because it was just kissing😑 They abuse porn when stressed. If they're angry, upset, insecure, or anxious, porn is their remedy. Then they associate sex with anger. And thus women as a means to release it. When I'm feeling stressed, I go for a fucking walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 04:28 PM
7

One thing dating men isn't, is fun. Why would it be "fun"?🤔 Dating is a risk. With any risk you need a cost-benefit analysis. I agree that women shouldn't consider every match a serious one. But, that doesn't mean have no discernment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 01:59 PM
30

Yes! Just because men are socialized and conditioned (by porn, cultural misogyny, etc.) to degrade women, that doesn't mean it's biological. Saying misogynistic views about sex is biological allows men a cheap escape with no accountability. And it teaches women to make excuses for men. Men choose to behave this way. They choose to perpetuate emotional/physical violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 01:46 PM
78

u/throwawaywookie and u/Platipus6, Lauren Fields and Gabby Petiito died at the hands of "good men". People acting shocked that these men were unashamed killers strikes me as naive. Is everyone that stupid? Or are we living in denial? I refuse to believe that men believe other guys are good. Misogyny uplifts men's general reputation. Women are socialized to be silent and men capitalize on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 10:14 AM
51

Sis, I love what you said. I'm saving your comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:18 AM
63

I've never expected sex to be perfect the first time. To me, that's the beauty of intimacy. Given you like the person and they are attentive & reciprocate, you can explore pleasure in a healthy way. But we can't even enjoy the BASICS with men. Relationships are superficial. There's no emotional connection. No intellectual curiosity. No bond whatsoever. That's why sex is bad. If people waited for meaningful connections, the sex wouldn't be bad. Plus, DJ Khaled is a fucking joke! His unwillingness…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 09:07 AM
136

Because women are taught to provide sex to men. Not enjoy it. That's why pickmes fight to the death for LV guys. She wants validation. It's a sociocultural marker of success. She doesn't actually expect her emotional and physical needs to be met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 08:55 AM
69

I've heard men telling other guys that the best way to relieve stress is masturbation. And we all know they use p0rn content as an aid. Have anxiety? Masturbate. Bad day? Masturbate. Girlfriend says no? Masturbate. Women bAd and won't coddle you despite your intentional failures? Death grip masturbation. No emotional skills whatsoever. What a pathetic existence😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 08:48 AM
123

Too many men normalize 5 minute erections😬. Like just 5 minutes? Including foreplay? That barely covers the warm-up portion when exercising. A TikTok video mocked a woman that said a guy should last between 20-40 minutes. Sex with men is SO bad that I don't know what's normal anymore. Neither do men because ejaculating in 30 seconds (or less) is a porn response. Men are porn addicted with penises that go flaccid once a woman undresses🧐🧐. It's like coercing sex (or the general build up) gets them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 08:28 AM
48

Absolutely! Your post has been my life strategy. I've never had the urge to date men I see at university, work, or in everyday life. It's just too risky. Women from my undergrad dropped out because bullying and sl*t shaming affected their mental health. Pickmes will gaslight you into staying with LV men. You feel pressure to keep up appearances. No, thank you🙅. I'm happy my ex abuser isn't someone I'd see regularly. I could heal from rape and assault in solitude. Nobody knew. However, men are th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 01:20 PM
23

I'll never forget that. We all know his grandmother doesn't have a problem with it👀 He was a rich kid with every privilege imaginable. There's no excuse for his behavior. What POC wants to marry a man who previously joked about genocide?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 05:44 AM
28

Per the reddit popular posts page, this is why I hate "which country is better" conversations. Nobody considers women's rights a reflection of the society as a whole. I've dated South Asian men, and not one of them was against forced marriage because it would (at least) guarantee them a bangmaid😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 10:15 PM
33

MGK is an abuser. If any guy brags about a woman's sexual performance, I immediately assume he's referring to BDSM. So a ring created to hurt her doesn't seem off kilter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 10:06 PM
323

ADHD or not, you shouldn't care🤷 Men ghost & block before the first date or after 5 years. Let these guys do what they want. Trying to rationalize men's irritational behavior will keep you in an endless loop. All you need to know is they aren't putting in effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 09:57 PM
51

The "honeymoon" period is weaponized by abusers. Love/tenderness/respect shouldn't be quantifiable. Our modern understanding of a honeymoon is 1-6 months. That's usually when the mask drops. I'm not settling for 4 months of happiness followed by 3 years of humdrum🤷. We deserve better, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:46 PM
135

I guarantee she had plans for her life. But, her plans wouldn't directly benefit him, so he thinks she's naive with no direction. Yet again, men are opportunists🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:34 PM
2

Too many women idolize the men in their lives because of their emotional proximity to them🙄. Pull the wool off your eyes! I was raised by a single mother. Dad was abusive and LV in every way Anyway, my mother (being a fundamentalist Christian) kept me in church a lot. The men in the church ALWAYS had a problem because "I didn't have a male figure" and "wasn't raised with the authority of a man". When I got older, I realized they could tell I didn't idolize men. Although my mother is pick-me, I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 12:05 AM
8

Right. Exactly u/bananachka this is tunnel vision. Your brother isn't HV. You just want him to be. You only see the outside of his relationship. I know it's hard. I have a brother too. And he will never be HV🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 11:41 PM
15

Yeah. "Getting a bag" means collecting money. And that's a common phrase used by libfems encouraging other women to be a sugar baby, start an OnlyF, or other types of sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 08:27 PM
100

Lib fem makes all women's actions beyond reproach🙄. It helps pickmes hide behind their racism, classism, and sexism because it's gET YOur bAg sIS and not therapy. There's no intersectional approach to women's issues. Adopting socialized male behaviors is not liberation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 08:56 AM
268

That's literally the justification behind brothels. Aside from enslaving WOC and people with disabilities, brothels advertised that men could use "wh©res" to access sex acts their wives were too "pure" to perform. Modern day it's lady in the streets, freak in the sheets🙄 The M/W complex distracts women from the ways in which our humanity is being eroded. Casual sex is a scam
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:59 AM
72

Exactly! If he (she/they) has not responded within 24hrs, block& delete! Never give people more than that❌ Why are you waiting around? If you are, it means the relationship has no substance or surety. How easy is it to send a quick message?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 08:02 PM
49

Wow. This comparison is so true. If a guy is going MIA, he should send a text explaining his absence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:58 PM
147

In society, women exist in a binary. We're either pretty and fuckable. Or intelligent and sexless. People around OP's girlfriend sexually objectify her. And if she's more complex than the binary, she is human. And men can't tolerate women's humanity. They pretend it doesn't exist ❌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:51 PM
56

Exactly! A Freudian Slip on his part. The only way men can convince women to entertain them is by objectifying them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:44 PM
141

Right🚩 He's a vindictive little shit who wanted to humiliate her because he feels inferior. His post oozed jealously. Plus she's mixed race because of the MLK comment! So, he enables racists too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:38 PM
8

US Judge Craig Whitley halted the cancer lawsuits for 60 days as of November 10, 2021. So, they should be starting back up this year. It really is a shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:23 PM
19

😂😂😂 J&J is corrupt. They paid 2 billion in healthcare fraud settlements. And have ongoing cancer lawsuits because their baby powder is laced with asbestos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 08:45 AM
501

Yes🤡. I was 21, so forgive me. He was a software engineer and porn addict. Obviously obsessed with Elon Musk. His preferred communication style was memes or gaslighting. He also believed in "trickle down economics". My experience: I reported him to the police for sexual battery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 01:14 AM
118

Main reason why women should never have kids with a guy. Doesn't matter if you make 40,000 a year or 400,000. Stay free of reproductive manipulation and keep your money sis!!!😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:53 PM
36

We can't have conversations with these idiots. Their bodies aren't political forms of public and private property. Of course they want attention. Once they're mrdered, traffickd, abused, and raped at the same rate, then we can talk🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 04:06 AM
62

I remember that interview! Literally every Spiderman-Mary Jane duo has dated. Hollywood creates buzz around couples without merit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 03:48 PM
77

I think forgiveness is total bullshit. We're never talking about sarcastic comments made in irritation or temporary non-issues because people aren't perfect. We're always referring to deal breakers. Blatant and willful mistreatment from people that take you for granted. Truth is - your friends, family, and romantic partners should never hurt you that much. That's not normal. More women should be angry. How some aren't is beyond me🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 09:39 AM
202

Can we normalize NOT giving "wife benefits" to husband's either? I'm totally serious🤷 Women that are socially, economically, and politically disadvantaged, compared to men, should never sacrifice her safety net. That also includes domestic labor. Just don't do it. He's capable. Sure, it's nice to help your SO every now and then - pack a lunch, pay for dinner, etc. But you shouldn't be shouldering the MAJORITY of costs with a LV guy. I understand financial freedom is a privilege only few experien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 09:22 AM
364

Society needs to stop idolizing people's relationships. Happened with Kim&Kanye now Tom&Zendaya. We don't know these men in real life😬. They dote on their girlfriend/wife for a 4 second paparazzi interview and suddenly he's a good guy?? Only rapists talk about rape the way Momoa did. No HV male actor would accept rape scenes. I don't care if it's a paycheck. Just because it's "pretend" doesn't mean your subconscious mind hasn't created (or satiated) a desire for violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 09:10 AM
93

Kobe Bryant gifted his wife a 4 million dollar diamond ring after his sexual assault case and rumoured cheating. How can someone accept gifts after such depravity? It's like hush money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:12 PM
17

Good for you. She'll need you as she gets older. She needs a childhood not consumed with fear and self-policing because men are predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 09:51 PM
141

So many women are afraid to cut off toxic men because it would threaten the love they think they're getting. But in my experience, I've had trouble talking about misogyny with women who believe their behaviors are just as ethically/morally wrong as men's. Use Cardi B or Khloe Kardashian as a general example. Although Cardi B experienced abuse, she admitted to drugging people. So her husband cheating and trying to sexually coerce a blowj0b on Instagram live doesn't alarm her🚩. Khloe Kardashian sl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 09:29 PM
29

😬Child marriage was mostly outlawed (in the west) in the 21st century. England banned forced marriage in 2014. And US states like Massachusetts still have loopholes to marry 12 year old girls. Nothing to do with royalty. Plus the option of a legal age of consent is not available to many girls/women in the global south. I'm open to people correcting my research. But sis, this is not the hill to die on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 08:37 PM
119

I know you didn't mean it that way, but it's not your niece's fault for being "developed" at 12. I was assaulted in school too and I know your niece would benefit from therapy and a feminist perspective. Any adult knows she's a child. Men intentionally prey on girls because they're pedophiles. If a man has to say "she looks older" then he fucking KNOWS she is a child!! My grandfather raped my grandmother when he was 20 and she was 15. His excuse? She looked older ---- I got harassed the most fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 07:53 PM
66

Yes. All of us have asked those questions out of fear. We were afraid of what a LVM's behavior actually meant. Part naivety, part denial. Don't let fear dictate your relationships. Have courage and believe people WHEN THEY SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 10:45 PM
59

Intuition is a life or death skill. I cannot stress that enough. I used to think TikTok was a dumpster fire. But I recently downloaded it and there's so much content from women about sexual harassment, assault, rape, abuse, etc. Using our intuition is the only way we can fight back. Thanks for the info OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 10:40 PM
20

The fragile years is the time when you're most valuable to men!💡 The age of consent and conventional beauty standards are evolutions of male sexual preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:35 PM
26

When I was deep in my ED, my proudest moment was that shrunk my waist to 24in (60cm). You never fully recover from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:31 PM
17

It's a very sad, true story. Marguerite Duras was abused, raped, and traumatized. Her books are the utterings of a woman with deep issues. They shouldn't be romanticized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:27 PM
29

My grandmother was 14 when she got pregnant with my mother! My grandfather is 6 years older than her. So he was 19 turning 20. Unfortunately, she's dead now - died when I was in highschool. But I carry on for her❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 12:22 PM
249

All so a man (who's already LV) can think you're conventionally attractive. Women's abdominal muscles separate. They gain weight. They rip. Get sagging skin. And for what? Not to mention the trauma and emotional toll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 05:45 PM
9

Ugh. These videos make me question modern media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 02:01 PM
223

I grew up in a church with men who "never" watched porn🙄 That was supposedly a feature of dating/marrying a religious guy. Sis, these men would confess to the congregation (regularly) about their battle with lust. Not watching porn didn't stop them from abusing their wives. Or victim blaming women. Or weaponizing incompetence. These guys were still misogynists. Most men who don't watch porn are doing it for selfish reasons. It has nothing to do with fighting male violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 03:43 PM
36

So true. The most abusive, pathological men have like 5 kids with 3 different women. That makes no sense. Male violence is seen as a "necessary" evil to ensure all men have access to sex and legacy. The irony is they want sex and legacy to compete with other men🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 11:54 PM
46

Dating for me (and every woman) has been avoiding aloof men who abuse/sexually exploit you in the meantime because they believe they can do better - and avoiding men who are pathologically obsessed with you that they abuse/k*ll you so you never can leave. I find that most men operate in this spectrum😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 05:58 AM
162

Lol. I used to think I was abnormal for wanting this. I've lived with roommates, my parents, and both experiences gave me anxiety. I always have to explain what I'm doing. There's no privacy. I wouldn't mind living together in a large house, but I'd need ample personal space. Unfortunately, that's not realistic for a lot of people. Couples live together because they can't afford anything by themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 08:31 PM
160

I've been scrupulous about my health for this reason. I hate visiting doctors and surgeons because they're either sexist or racist. The idea of being under anesthesia while a man operates on me is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 12:10 AM
44

I've been waiting for a post like this😭. And OP, I love your strength. Yes. 1000% yes. I think life would be easier if I was stupider🤷. Don't get me wrong, I love how strong I am. But I am doing this alone. Literally. No one in my family is feminist. The "feminist" friends I've had are libfems who'll encourage me to have hookups, but will also tell me reporting a man for touching me is "making a scene". I've noticed the women with internalized misogyny who never escape pickmeism, never escape be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 07:30 PM
147

We've all been on the pick-me spectrum before. The main issue with pickmes is that every woman in their life is at physical, emotional, or psychological risk. Even if you're not extreme like the women who encourage men to assault other women, you still become emotionally volatile to your friends. To get picked, pickmes sometimes adopt male behavior. They bully, abuse, coerce, and control. They unconsciously/consciously sanction male depravity. Women should be each other's safe haven. Aside from …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:46 PM
65

Men make women responsible for their behavior! If he violates a boundary, it's her "job" to keep him accountable. Explains why men want women who "won't take their bullshit" even though they continually dish out abusive bullshit. She has to be naive enough to never leave, but robust enough to keep him entertained. That's why the pretty privilege discussion is complex because (1) women who feel they don't get enough male attention and (2) women that aren't conventionally attractive, believe men t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 11:17 PM
146

Men are bad at sex because they don't consider women complete humans! Relationships for them are about power, domination, control, and sexual exploitation. They don't love you. Nor do they like you. Of course they'll be horrible partners. Majority of them are porn addicts. They're quick to say they don't have ED because they get erect. But admit they can't orgasm (or stay erect) because of a habitual death-grip. They use violent porn (all porn is violent) to masturbate. And they masturbate multi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 07:35 PM
23

That's the problem: the she didn't think of your safety first and foremost. Good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:40 AM
16

Exactly!! He mentioned all the countries he's visited! I'm certain he masturbates to rape porn and/or has exploited prostitutes. He made sure to say he wasn't racist🙄...sure buddy. I know she has internalized misogyny because we talked about it. We've had similar life experiences (as far as men/family are concerned). I don't know why she's his friend. I think I'll run into her years later and discover she's married him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:38 PM
27

She didn't text me before I got home. It's safe to assume she didn't care🤷. They were still hanging out when I left. The museum had a painting of a naked WOC with a white guy. He commented that white men usually exploit foreign prostitutes. I just walked away into another exhibit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 03:51 PM
80

They both have senior level positions. He's not her boss, but has worked on her team before. He was passive aggressive. That's why he got away with it. He'd roll his eyes then pretend to be interested in what I was saying. Or say he was joking right after a passive comment. I definitely think he's preying on her. She's impressed by his "knowledge" and brags about how smart she thinks he is. He's met her mom and said her mother is more fun than she is😷. I had to block. It wasn't worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 03:42 PM
180

Thank you! She was excited to see me and he got annoyed after that. She acted different with him even saying she had "dark humor". Which is standard for LV men. He had to be smarter than me, her, the waitress, and the museum docent. It was embarrassing how he tried to challenge everyone. A 45 year-old man with graying hair😑 I doubt she'll drop him cause they work together. Her career is all about networking and who you know. It's her life, not mine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 12:22 PM
29

That dude is so fucking dense. And racist. He thinks Asia is comprised of 3 countries. Just China Japan, and South Korea??🤔🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:51 AM
59

It's hard making friends as an adult. So I've kind of given up now. This last incident took a toll. My eyes were puffy when I woke up😂 A few years ago I met friends through work. And that wasn't the best situation either. Thanks, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:36 AM
6

High-school!!!! She was a teenager.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:18 AM
29

That applies if he's the bio-dad or step-dad. Still his fucking children🤡 Side note: I started scrolling and the misogyny is endless. TikTok is a cesspool of abusive men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 11:13 AM
101

I know! We had dinner then went to a museum where he was the history expert. I could barely enjoy it. The excuse was he had a few drinks😬 Yeah, still not okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 10:39 AM
31

Masturbation can help, if she can become aroused by it on her own. Some people prefer the company. But that won't help her have orgasms with an inattentive partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 09:23 PM
88

As two virgins, they had a beautiful opportunity to explore sex together. They could learn without external pressure. But the boyfriend's been brainwashed by misogyny already. He doesn't care. And they're totally mismatched😬. You can't enjoy sex with someone YOU DON'T LIKE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 09:18 PM
151

Well she's closer to breaking up with him than she is to that orgasm😂😂😂😂😂😂. Also, just fingering sounds like he's neglecting the clitoris..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 09:12 PM
49

Please know you're better off without her. Women like that never learn. She was jealous of you just like the girl in the video. It's clear the video girl liked one of the LV guys (who likely snapped pics of the girls to masturbate to later🤢). Someone else will appreciate you. You'll grieve for a while, but be wiser once you heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 08:19 PM
173

Oh slothing week is the best! I tried rewatching Master Chef and The Amazing Race, but the early 2000's are rife with misogyny. The producers literally told a woman to say she was going to use her looks to win the competition. When an attractive woman does anything the comments are, "she knows what she's doing with that outfit"🙄. Not to mention the women keep everyone on track. That's how sexist narratives get ingrained in our psyche.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 08:04 PM
40

He said he was "joking" so she believed him😑🤷. We weren't friends with her, just acquaintances. But we still knew about him from past interactions. When multiple women confide that your boyfriend (of 2 months) has been inappropriate, you believe them! Since all of us were single, and she was only friends with coupled women, she was probably mateguarding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:49 PM
16

LOUDER!!!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 12:10 PM
151

I've heard the same sentiment about music artist, The Weeknd. Men envy his 'sex with women whose name I don't know' lifestyle🤢 Men associate women with increased life-expectancy, emotional support, and domestic labor. They treat women like resources to bolster their confidence and career. If Tommy Lee and The Weeknd didn't become famous for exploiting women, they wouldn't be famous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 12:06 PM
131

Pickmes have deep-rooted, pathological amounts of jealousy. I understand being a naive teenager/early twenties woman who gives a man too many chances. After all, all women have been socialized to be pickmes. But I don't understand the women who are sycophantic slaves to men. That pickmeism isn't about naivety. That's a choice. Once you start endangering other women, you can't be redeemed My mother defends every rapist in the family: her father, her husband, every fucking man she ever met. She's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:56 AM
145

I hate to say this. But she'll be dead soon😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:38 PM
37

Yep. He is 🗑️ with 🗑️ advice. He's a misogynist with a libfem agenda. His dating platform reinforces the idea that women must try harder to communicate with men. The pickmes who want a "male perspective" eat that shit up🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:36 PM
84

This exact scenario happened to multiple women I've known in my life. Usually at parties. But always with men they work with, go to school with, etc. The majority of men are rapists. End of story 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:24 PM
81

Gotta be way higher. The first time my friend was sexually assaulted was at 13 by another 13 year old boy. For me it was 9. So many women don't consider what happened to them rape because the police/courts don't. I didn't understand until my mid-twenties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:22 PM
8

I agree. u/LysistrataRises don't start dating (when you don't want to) just for "practice". Rather, start dating when you're ready and treat all experiences as a learning opportunity. You can learn about dating in friendships, at work, wherever. Plus if you're not invested in the person, you won't learn shit cause you're not taking it seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 04:52 PM
34

The Kardashians much🤡🤡 If you particularly like black men, okay. That's not an issue. But these women have OPENLY stated they want a black man's penis. Which is classic, stereotypical racism! Kim Kardashian argued whether her daughters skin color would be dark - why does she care? And Khloe said she worried about her daughters hair texture. WTF. The fact that these guys didn't find that problematic is troubling. They couldn't see past the social cred of having a non-black woman (a deeper racial …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 04:40 PM
220

So true. If he wanted to, he would🤷. I remember briefly talking to a guy with a demanding job. Yet, he communicated consistently, everyday. I was never confused. Although he was LV, it changed my perspective. I was accustomed to men who'd wait hours/days and leave me wondering. If you're confused about "where the relationship is going", I can assure you he isn't. Nobody is too busy for a relationship they want. Leave when he doesn't meet your standards. No dropping hints, just block/delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 03:46 PM
320

I lost it at the "we already learned how to cook"😂😂😂 Him and his friends need to leave us alone!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 12:01 AM
35

She posted this whole ass update? Damn. Betrayal trauma starts with denial. She knows being (rightfully) angry would threaten the relationship. That's why she doesn't want to "freak out". Unfortunately, she won't think clearly until he breaks up with her. She's not taking this serious enough, so I doubt she would initiate😔 And u/mareetran we know you aren't hating. We've all been there. I never loved nor liked my ex, but I'm certain I would've deluded myself for a few more months if he didn't in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 11:23 AM
59

They push boundaries to make others responsible for their behavior. Abusers don't have limits. So they make their abuse dependent on what you'll "accept". That's why the "but you didn't leave" argument is common. Every single human, even some neurodivergents can detect voice inflection and mood changes in people they care about. He knows, but doesn't care🤷.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:34 AM
95

Right! So men are more intelligent, logical, and capable in every situation EXCEPT relating to women? And women are incapable in every situation that doesn't directly benefit men? People are blind from the strains of everyday life. How has this not caused an uproar?🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:10 AM
53

She'll wake up when she has a rude awakening. It won't happen unless you consciously/unconsciously want it. If you prefer denial, you'll be in denial. If you yearn for freedom and clarity, you'll get it no matter the cost. I used to think saying "no" to men was mean, but not men literally assaulting me🤡. Time will tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:45 AM
107

More women should know this💡💡 We need a FDS post about sexual offences (sexual assault, sexual battery, rape, etc). And how to identify sexual crimes. FYI - you can make police reports for groping which is battery; ask me how I know🙄 Anyway, I feel the pain in her post. How has society convinced women that men's "privacy" is more important than their health? We're so afraid of being ridiculed, that when crimes are committed against us, we'd rather be silent than the "crazy" chic. Unfortunately w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:34 AM
62

Such an important distinction to make. Not only are women rejected after abuse, but we're expected to get over it faster. Our feelings (trauma responses) are considered a burden to other men and the people around us. I've been called bitter, angry, and hurt as insults!😑 It's just male egos getting brushed when "rejected". It's women denying them access to their bodies/emotional labor. False indignation is woven into the fabric of male entitlement. Rejection for men has NEVER been political. It's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 02:17 AM
45

You either accept his behavior or not🤷 If he doesn't meet your standards, leave. If you question his motives, leave. Being a novice to dating makes this hard. So forgive yourself if you made this mistake. If you tried to change behaviors that adversely affected you (e.g. abuse, assault, cheating), that doesn't make you "wrong". Nor are you wrong for believing him if he promised he would. It's up to us - all women - to be discerning. Men won't say, "sorry I don't meet your standards, let's not da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 05:19 PM
5

Lol. Yeah that advice isn't wise😬 You should have done considerable vetting before a relationship. That's what exclusivity is for. It's important to see his house way before that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:13 PM
58

I grew up in the Christian community and their relationship was obnoxious! You could tell he was a LVM masquerading as a good boy. He kept mentioning her past like he expected her to apologize. So many women think a religious man is different because he's "marriage material". Same misogyny, different packaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:01 PM
38

The latter is way better💡 If you can't be at his house without him (or you) expecting something to happen, he's LV and you need to stop dating. Women must build a psychological resistance to misogyny! Employ your boundaries at all times. That includes when you're turned on. Learn self-discipline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:09 PM
165

Unpopular answer Men rape, assault, coerce - we know this. I discourage going to any man's house unless he's been vetted. However, it is imperative that you know going to his house does NOT suggest sex. Why? Because YOU said so. Men claim everything a woman does, is inherently sexual. The assumption that you've preemptively consented to sex makes women feel they owe sex. That's why the narrative was created - to pressure women when they get into your car, go to your house, etc. 3 dates is too so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 11:56 AM
56

He should be paying for and planning dates for a good 3-4 months. You don't "owe" him. If you're seeing him once a week for three months, that's only 12 dates. I don't mind getting snacks at the movies or buying dessert. But the main cost will defer to him. I'm a 60/40 or 70/30 gal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 11:43 AM
24

🤣 All that misogyny and homoerotic energy needs an outlet. I'm with the LGBTQIA community Brokescrote Mountain 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:45 AM
16

Being "adventurous" has plenty of setbacks. Hiking difficult terrains could get you killed. You encounter all types of animals. 100 things could go wrong - like an infection. I'm not afraid of heights, so in another world I'm a girl scout. The most I've ever done is ziplining, beginner hiking, and rollercoasters. Never been camping and I want to keep it that way🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:37 AM
51

Men in relationships will do anything to keep a woman from leaving. But do nothing to make her happy. If she's gone, he can't exploit her emotional, physical, and domestic labor. He knew that you signing a house would mean you'd eventually leave. Going to rehab was a last ditch effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:12 AM
188

Disgusting is the right word. OP mentioned how bad it smelled/tasted. It's a complete double standard. When men smell it's assumed he just didn't shower. But women are treated as if we naturally stink. We have shit like Vagisil and Summer's Eve. That's why heavily fragranced items are marketed to us. Although I love a nice perfume, it's a shame we grow up policing our bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:07 AM
131

So true👆 What happens to their libido when it's time to please a woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 11:59 PM
81

My understanding has always been that Pandora was for teenagers😫. I doubt adult women like silvery jewelry resembling friendship bracelets. Most couples don't have a lot of money. But you can go to department stores to get nice items under $100. Or make something sentimental.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:26 PM
5

Of course. Since she didn't leave after his previous negs, he assumed she would agree to this too. These fuckers always start from day 1🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:12 AM
123

Your comment needs to be higher👆 It's like men saying a woman is "too opinionated". So, you mean she has opinions? Men don't expect they'll have to listen to or even respect women. Even the "nicest" men think this way. I highly discourage women from taking relationship advice from men or women that aren't rad fems. You'll be stuck trying to rationalize misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 12:07 AM
137

Lol. I feel like her advice would work in a hypothetical fantasy world. Are we acting like men don't know what they're doing🤔. Are we pretending like they don't intentionally neglect women in an effort to manipulate them. So, he doesn't "understand" communication -- and interprets it as "criticism" making his fee fees hurt🤕??? Lmao. When women "communicate" it's almost always about his LV behavior. In which case you LEAVE. I haven't "communicated" with fuck anyone since I've leveled up. WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 11:58 PM
21

You're right about it being brave. The younger generations are growing up with social media. I didn't start using it until YouTube was invented and I had a MySpace. Think about the young women that may be too inexperienced to notice red flags. A slew of people criticizing this man's behavior will show other women that it's not okay. Just like libfem rode the wave of socal media, I'd hope this story would have a similar effect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:09 PM
13

There's nothing wrong with crop tops😬 They can be dressed up or down depending on the fabric and style. A nice crop top and trench coat has been my go-to during the autumnal months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:04 PM
41

That's why he "felt horrible". He wanted to jump start his abuse 3 weeks in. If he hadn't started earlier🙄 Every man that I've ever attempted to date, has tried this (or something adjacent). One wanted me in super-short skirts cause "it's hot". He thought his shit-test would work on her. I believe he'll try with another woman, but tailor it to the insecurities he thinks she has. In general men use the same abuse tactics. But they observe to make the abuse "more effective".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:00 PM
92

I hate that talking about sexual history is double edged sword. Men are habitual abusers. They'll openly discuss their past two relationships, but will neglect to mention they paid for "sex work" in Amsterdam. Or gave a random person oral sex 🙄 Vetting takes considerable time. I naturally want to share about my past to safeguard my health, but men (and people) do all types of shit. Hookup culture has made getting STD's "normal". And women disproportionately bear the consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:29 PM
37

I measure it by how many people I've had any sexual contact with🤷. Sexual contact is a serious matter. I also count kisisng. I don't want to count my first sexual "experience" because I was coerced over the span on 3 months, but I do anyway. For any man I'm dating, I prefer him to have identical sexual encounters. We aren't compatible if they've done x,y,z. If I can't discuss it with him, why am I with him? And yes, for women it's different. My preferences aren't rooted in sociopolitical misogyn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:18 PM
58

Just like a 16 year old can't consent to sex with a man aged 25, is the same way a woman cannot "consent" to bondage, slave reenactments during sex. I don't care what site she was on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:09 PM
57

You and u/AnniaT are spot on! There's a fine line between victim blaming and preventative behaviors. Men created blanket consent to brainwash women into sexual subservience. You can't do/ go anywhere with a man without it being sexually suggestive. In fundamentalist Christian communities, the elders, parents, and preachers push young women into abstinence with the fear that if kissing happens, then sex is inevitable. And there's no way to postpone sex if you started kissing him /s ------- Hence …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:03 PM
196

Men believe blanket consent is real. Male logic is: Agree to a date? - You've now consented to sexual assault. He didn't grope you, he just thought you were into him. Kiss him? - You've basically said yes to sex. Don't lead him on. Get into his car? - You're asking for it. What did you expect he'd do with you so close to him? Wear clothes of any sort (form fitting, loose, baggy, revealing, etc.) - You wanted the attention anyway. So what if he grabs your ass. Before meeting you, men have already…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:46 PM
38

My growth journey has been the hardest, yet the most peaceful time in my life😇 I've consistently said no to low effort. I don't wait on people that are late. I stick to my boundaries. I vet friends, coworkers, and romantic partners. I leave situations that don't suit me. I don't look to others for validation. I respect myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 01:01 AM
210

Thank you! I've been posting about this for ages but my comments aren't reaching my target audience😫 Stop trying to extract respect from men who aren't respectable! Wanting male "respect" is another way of saying you want to be the Madonna and not the Whore🧐. On a deeper note, it signifies that you don't fundamentally respect yourself. That you consider male approval more valuable than self-actualization. On what planet is a guy attempting to coerce you into premature sex not grounds for "loss o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 12:51 AM
13

Exactly. Never go on a date before having a video call. The video call weeds them out anyway. These guys struggle to plan that, so NEXT. All my socials are paused right now. The last time I went out (with friends) was 15 days ago. I'm fully vaccinated and mask up. I'm not looking for new dates nor am I talking to people because that is exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:47 PM
2

This comment threw me in a whirlwind. You have a criminal record?? u/Constant-Wanderer 🧐🧐 Don't steal people's wallets😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:25 AM
48

And it's usually girls they're referring to, not women 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:11 AM
307

I went on a date with a doctor and he was "surprised" that I knew a lot about his field. He kept saying, "wow, didn't expect you to know that"🙄🙄 Men like being condescending. They're hoping you'll jump through hoops for their approval.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 10:49 PM
70

I think it's a great starting point. But it's still positioning men as the gatekeepers of respect. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can be naked in his bed. One way you show commitment is marriage, exclusivity, etc. But the title means nothing if the man is shit. We've been raised to believe that sex wouldn't be in vain if done in marriage or a relationship. Not true. And because most feminist messages are about extracting respect from men, I cannot get on board because fem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 12:04 PM
3

Convenient how they forget about WOC. When women started working depends on the definition of "women's work".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 09:33 AM
35

I wish I had an award to give 🏆 "Post nut clarity" was invented to justify men abusing women. It's meant to trivialize sex as something a man needs to consider a woman human instead of a sex object. It's clear we're bartering for our humanity. Men KNOW if they like you before having sex with you. But since men like dominating the women they hate through sex, thus "post nut clarity". I've been aroused by men, but that doesn't stop me from making informed decisions. Hold men accountable👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 09:29 AM
51

When I had sex for the first time ---- (although it shouldn't count b/c it wasn't entirely consensual)------, I thought everyone could see the shame on my face. The only difference was I was less naive. People made comments about how I looked "older" and more wise. Funny how I was more beautiful to people before and just smarter after🤔 I fucking hate misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 08:30 PM
56

Thank you! I hate everyone's obsession with calling people "good" all the time. It's always, "but he's still a good guy"😑 There's rarely middleground when it comes to behavior. Guys who can't take a side are LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:41 PM
4

No. Facts. Everytime he uses it he'll think of his friend🤡 Unless that was the intention🥴 Plus, what's an atheist doing being friends with a religious conservative? Each guy fundamentally thinks differently. When I was 20 and still religious, most of my friends weren't so maybe that explains it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 11:16 AM
111

Does she really? I'm not surprised. I'm conflicted about both perspectives because porn doesn't give men unrealistic expectations🤔. Porn is a reflection of society's violent reality: men rape children, traffick women and girls, puncture organs in the name of pleasure, fantasize about incest, and fetishize racial minorities. That happens in real life. We can discuss body types, but that's a reflection of men's pedophilia. Meaning it's not unrealistic for a 10 year old. In regards to romance novel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 11:06 AM
17

Recently on the popular posts page, there was a thread asking men what's something hot that women do during sex. I'm remembering loosely, but the top comments were swallowing his ejaculate and being "enthusiastic"😑 So they glorify abuse and regularly have sex (rape) women that's aren't enthusiastic to be there? That's the sex men like - coercive and dehumanizing. A woman's pleasure isn't considered. Ask a woman the same question and she'll talk about consent, boundaries, foreplay, romance, emoti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 10:50 AM
79

The only thing he pounds is a moldy fleshlight.🙄 He was hoping you were an anxious pickme who doesn't know her worth. Because if you were you'd be embarrassed and not enraged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 10:33 AM
157

I fucking screamed 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 05:08 AM
21

That shit terrifies me. A lot of men fall into two categories: (1) the ones that send mixed signals, breadcrumb, imagine that they're settling for you🤡 And (2) the possessive ones who text constantly, monitor your friends, and use reproductive coercion. I'm so happy you got away. He would've kept true to his word. You dodged a bullet, literally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 11:55 PM
20

My former acquaintance was an "empath" who defended racists and rapists🙄 People who volunteer such information are forcing emotional intimacy. They want you to spill your secrets and trust them faster🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 11:26 PM
26

That's fine. I wear cleavage sometimes and of course notice when other women do. The problem isn't noticing what another person is wearing. It's objectifying them! Men have the dead in the eyes stare. It's a cross between a murderer, psychopath, and a rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 05:22 PM
130

Consider that men are allowed to look out for their best interests - from birth to adulthood. Eucation puts their interest first. Healthcare providers prioritize men's health. Our economic system promotes men! Women are discouraged from independence both culturally and politically. What safety nets do we have? I wouldn't say it's helpless. But women with rad fem or FDS principles aren't common. So, the majority of women don't have contingency plans for life beyond marriage, kids, relationships..…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 01:07 PM
237

Men whose eyes wander are trying to triangulate you🚩. Plus they're porn addicts. Had a date with a guy who kept ogling a teen. She couldn't exist without him sexualizing her! And she was significantly younger than him. Doesn't matter what we wear, it's still an "invitation" to them. If I catch a man staring at my cleavage too much, my body, or making inappropriate gestures, he gets kicked to the curb. Same goes for other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 12:04 AM
36

No amount of money can get rid of internalized misogyny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:25 AM
34

Ben Affleck has literally no appeal whatsoever. He's a POS to his ex-wife yet Hollywood loves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:24 AM
31

💯 Guaranteed they believe that. Society says women's bodies are a public resource men are entitled to. If he has enough money, enough "charm", blah blah. Porn lets them bypass the queue. But, men in everyday life apply that logic to the women around them. If he can't dominate her now, he's owed an opportunity later🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 07:18 PM
69

No birthday gifts for 2 YEARS😑 Imagine what he does for Valentine's 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 08:56 PM
8

Chris Brown's father physically abused his mother, and look at him now - abused Rihanna, multiple restraining orders from ex-girlfriends Kids aren't their parents, but you have to keep a close eye on their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:32 PM
97

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with a 24yr old virgin. When I was a virgin, I waited for someone who was a virgin too. I wouldn't have sex with someone that wasn't. So, it's a personal preference and you're allowed to have a preference for a non-virgin. However, that doesn't mean you'll be satisfied or unsatisfied. At the end of the day, it's what you want🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 05:36 PM
325

Not fucked, raped. (Aside: I have an issue with the term "fucked" because it suggests rough sex) Nonetheless, I feel bad for her. He's not the one. He will eventually guilt trip her because his, "I can go watch P0rnhub" mindset will morph into "You're here but I'm always watching P0rnhub" cue violins🎻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:59 AM
122

People are afraid to hold men accountable. "Fairness" is an attempt to thwart male violence (ironic). We live in a victim blaming society, meaning anything other than "she didn't say no" is unfair to men. When I observe men in my everyday life, I wonder who they've raped/ or assaulted. My ex is walking around like he didn't coerce sexual contact and guilt trip me. My friend's rapist is going to work knowing he drugs women and rapes them while they're half-awake. And, every man is watching porn w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:47 AM
46

"cuddling" means assault! It happened to me too. Block men whose love language is "physical touch" and mentions "cuddling" within 3 months of knowing you🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 04:42 AM
44

This works in virtually all situations. I needed to see this 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 03:28 AM
88

People who've been together 6 months say this😑. It's clear that they enter sexual relationships out of convenience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:09 PM
59

You posting is all the reassurance you need, sis. 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:06 PM
22

My mother did the same with my dad. I believe it's because they romanticize the abusive man and thus romanticize his abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 06:58 PM
44

Women are socialized to be in conflict with other women!💡 Arguing with a man about his behavior is antithetical. We're supposed to placate, excuse, pander, and coddle men. Not hold them accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 06:53 PM
397

The truth is: Men use coercive contact/lies to pursue women. They carefully curate who they are to get women emotionally attached. They like the chase because they hope to dominate a woman better than them. If a woman approaches first, it's no fun (for him). You're denying him the pleasure of 3 months of manipulation. That's it. Should we care? No. Hypothetically, why should we desire men who devalue us if we express interest first?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:36 PM
334

This is why men immediately barrage us with sob stories where they're always the victim. Who benefits from revealing that his ex was unstable with mental health issues? That she was controlling and wouldn't let him see his friends? He does! He's triangulating you with someone you don't know hoping you'll compete to be "better" than her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 12:36 PM
30

He was likely embarrassed by wheeling the tank. Some guys will attempt to carry all their groceries because it's not manly to have a basket! 🤣Enjoy your dinner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 11:23 PM
10

Of course. I'll keep the specifics out of a public comment. But after meeting him: Red flags: (1) Admitted to manipulating his ex who he claimed was "crazy" (2) Casually mentioned his drug use (3) literally said he wanted a woman to take care of his house🥴..lmfao not me... (4) said he could make people that tell him 'no' change their mind🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 11:16 PM
131

LOL. No doubt your ex deserved it. But it's the same for me. I definitely have moments where I romanticize marriage. But, when I'm 100% honest with myself, I know I'd be unhappy. Having a life of my own is more satisfying. Also consider that I've never met a likeable man, so🤷. Idk, I have too much to lose (financially, health wise) and I'm a risk averse person. It doesn't make sense for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:30 PM
10

Sadly, this is me too. I want my own life, personal space, etc. I have money, a job, and hobbies. I don't want marriage, but I want a companion that fulfills my need for love & trust. The men I've met wouldn't make good companions though. I recently met someone that seemed promising (on paper) but his lifestyle red flags were GLARING🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:22 PM
75

I've been seeing the SSC hashtag which is about BDSM. It means "safe, sane, and consensual". I had no idea so look out for that too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:37 AM
61

Looking for a comment of reason! Say it LOUDER! u/stalient if he wanted to, he would. Is he a hermit that can't access Google? Is he incapable of asking what your favorite food is - finding a restaurant in your area - and then suggesting it to you? It's not a woman's responsibility to nudge a LVM in any direction he's made clear he will not travel in! He wants you to do the work. That alone deserves a block/delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:32 AM
16

Recently vetted a guy who displayed 1,3, and 6. He admitted to drug addiction, abuse towards his previous partner, and cheating. No remorse whatsoever. I could tell he enjoyed it. I got the fuck out ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:22 AM
2

Officially: The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is a type of female character often depicted as a whimsical, quirky, sometimes eccentric, fantasy woman who saves the male protagonist from himself. She usually aides in his transformation without ever showing any real agency of her own. - from Google To add, some Manic Pixies display endless enthusiasm. She's sooo happy around LVM and obviously would never get upset. Think of Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 03:12 AM
38

Agree. And it's not even a spark. He said he needs to feel obsessed. Hello psychopath👀 Babe, u/gigi577. You cannot prove your worth to him. He doesn't care. You also don't "hangout" to help him understand his feelings. He already told you what they were. You deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:11 PM
115

Oh, absolutely. What's scary is how forthcoming they are if you're paying attention. They'll confess to rape across the dinner table!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 10:01 PM
29

Perfectly explains why the pick-me attitude is dangerous💡 The idea is you're a certain type of woman (Madonna, Cool-Girl, Manic Pixie) that has the ability to change/keep a man. I'll never discount male violence, but the pickme dynamic contributes to cognitive dissonance. However, patriarchy created the pickme. So who's really at fault? Nonetheless, OP needs help🤡🤡.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:25 PM
311

PREACH sister. It's stupid how they resent relationships they secured with their own deception!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 04:40 PM
77

I went on a date with a guy who complained that his ex was too dependent on him🙄 So, you have to be an independent cool-girl when they refuse to respect you, but dependent enough to never leave them🤔🤔?? Clown shit🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:28 PM
60

The colorist dudes as so dense!🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:23 PM
147

You made the right decision for yourself. However, a minimum wage job doesn't make someone LV🤷. He's just not compatible with a woman that has a Vice President job (hence someone with more financial freedom). I get irritated with society's assumption that money equals success. Success isn't linear. That's a Western, privileged concept thanks to imperialism ----- We have all types of people: disabled, neurodivergent, racial minorities, vulnerable immigrants, etc. The government/states/corporation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 04:19 PM
8

Exactly. That's textbook LV behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:46 AM
27

Lol. Facts. Call me the wicked witch of the west🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 11:38 AM
45

This is the first FDS post where I vehemently disagree. Roaches are NOT cute😂😂😂 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 07:40 AM
104

LOL🤣... Selena was like no thanks, keep that liver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 07:03 AM
288

Don't forget the casual sl*t-shaming because "she started wearing less and going out more"🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 07:02 AM
125

To consider a divorced man with kids, I'd have to be divorced with kids too🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 02:22 PM
7

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 10:24 PM
14

Press on, girl. If he wanted to go on another date, he would've said so already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:56 PM
16

He hasn't checked in, so there's no date! If he wanted to he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:55 PM
160

Yes, exactly! Take for instance direct communication Instead of asking, "Is it okay if I kiss you?" or "Would you like to go on a date with me?", they make assumptions predicated on how bubbly you are. It's like women can't express a range of emotions other than happy-go-lucky. And if we're not falling over them, they cry because we're "hard to please". If he wanted to he would, but this proves that men like coercive contact which is petulant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:41 PM
21

Aww, I know🤧. Good thing is you're not with him anymore. But, it's imperative you put your boundaries first. I cannot stress that enough. The bliss of making out is temporary!!!! It will help if you limit the date to 1 hour or 1.5hrs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:24 PM
15

You know how expensive a full set of driving lessons are - (upwards of $1,000)🙄. That's one dumbass decision. Driving isn't standard everywhere, but it's a skill he NEEDS to have. My mother kept me from being independent as an abuse tactic. I didn't learn to drive until I was 23/24. If someone paid for multiple lessons, I would've been so grateful. Their relationship is fucking toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 10:22 AM
7

Go easy on yourself🙃. Entire religions claim that women were cursed for tricking a man. Society wants us to apologize for our existence. No doubt you're surrounded by assholes and subconsciously sense their annoyance. Listen to your intuition. When I spent extended periods of time around manipulative people who refused to validate me as a self-actualized person, I was overly apologetic. It was my way of saying sorry for not being enough (which of course wasn't true). Remember that you can only b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 09:12 AM
69

I'd like to add (a critique)🙃 Making out after 3 dates is too fast. You're kissing someone you met only 3 times. You scarcely know him. When I was a virgin and new to dating, I was touch starved. I was thinking too much of kissing/sex and not enough about my boundaries. He needs to put in WAY more effort until he gets to make-out with you. OP, the guy hadn't earned that yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:52 AM
93

I've been on plenty of dates with these Ivy League guys. Coming from a background in private education too, I know they're obsessed with money, in particular social status That makes them LVM. Such guys don't date for love. First and foremost, they seek women who are good for optics. They want clout, vacations, and access to similar women. They'll stay in a relationship for years and not even like you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 12:32 AM
126

Yes, sis. Keep us updated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:56 PM
169

Girl, patriarchy has been pushing the "women/wives are children' narrative since the 19th century. Marriage and coverture laws dictated that women were dependents alongside children. 50 year old men did marry (rape) their 13 year old child brides. And it was accepted in both literature and science that women were childlike, irritational, blah blah 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 06:38 PM
139

Men are so obvious with their exploitation of women. When they believe they're in their prime it's "let's see where things go" or "I'm not in a rush". When they're washed up and want a therapist bangmaid, suddenly a relationship is within reason😒🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:02 PM
91

I know😔. Men stop at no lengths. So fucking cruel. But I've been on bumble, can't catfishers get verified as long as the hand gesture matches?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:09 AM
19

No need to apologize ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:46 AM
11

Babe, Rihanna's younger than him!😭 The downvotes, lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:07 AM
31

Sis knew what she was doing with the last picture 😂😂 Goddamn🤧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:03 AM
48

Is this post for me? 🙈 I've been mulling over a guy I blocked after he didn't respond in 24hrs. He was exactly my type with no red flags yet. But, a whole day passed and he didn't respond. At first I factored in his job, but I have a job too! I'm not normalizing being ignored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:01 AM
-8

Lol. You posted 3 times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:48 AM
41

Girl, my ex was chronically late (all the time). I'd sometimes wait 2 fucking hours for him to arrive🤡 One evening, he texts me saying he's running an hour behind. I'm driving to the restaurant and text back saying I'm going home, that he's never on time, etc. Sis, this man showed up early just to fuck with me. He intentionally took me to a public area to scold me for "doing it again". Lately I'd been trying to hold him accountable for emotional abuse, so he used this incident as proof that I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:43 AM
71

You're damn right. And any man who remains silent when a woman is unjustly lowering herself, is a misogynist🤷. A coworker once told me he thought it was "funny" when women unnecessarily apologize 🤡 That's clown shit. If men cared, they'd validate that women don't need to apologize. But they don't because they benefit from women having anxiety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:28 AM
85

I love the content from you ladies! Everyone here is so brilliant☺️ Too many women apologize to guys for "tolerating" them (me 5 years ago). I've seen LVM mock their wives for crying ---- Men aren't less emotional. What women are witnessing is APATHY (with a dash of contempt). Their husband's, fathers, and boyfriends are indifferent to how the women in their lives feel. They are dismissive and disengaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:22 AM
96

Plus 33% of Australian parliament getting sexually harassed. That's one reason why nothing happens. Men don't consider women humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:07 AM
92

If he wants anal, tell him to phone his homeboys🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:23 PM
299

He told her she didn't get his 100% effort because his mom died before their first date? They've been together more than 5 years😒. And OP's all "wE need to learn how to romance", wE this, wE that. That LVM is not worth his weight in gold! My ex did this shit all the time. Me: Why are you low effort and emotionally abusive? Him: My mom forgot my 5th birthday. Sis needs to move the fuck on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 10:14 PM
13

I was. But I silenced that part of myself. I didn't know how to defend myself or know that I could. The fucked up part is I naturally wanted to have sex/love. But not under those circumstances. I was too busy trying to be a "cool girl" and not be the crazy chick. Even though I'd always initially say no, I felt that (after the assault) I could no longer resist him, only postpone sexual encounters with him. When I wouldn't agree he'd say, "I can't wait that long". So I'd relent/pretend to be enthu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 04:23 PM
5

Wonderful comment❤️. We've all come so far
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:31 PM
33

You're 100% right. My ex and my parents often threatened me. So my people pleasing was a survival tactic. My therapist had to give me permission to say "no". She was an awful therapist for unrelated reasons, but that piece of advice helped tremendously. Don't beat yourself up about believing the fallacy. If you (truly) knew better, you could've done better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:42 AM
40

Same. My ex victimized himself and told me how people were "mean" to him. If I talked, he'd get irritated, roll his eyes, sigh, etc. He sexually assaulted me at 4 weeks and told me it was my fault because I didn't say no and just laid still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:31 AM
208

So, this misogynist abuser "finished her off"🤔..... Okaaay She's been dating him for 1 month - no doubt he was abusive from day 1. Dude is a psychopath. How will women undo brainwashing unless they have an impetus to stop interacting with men for an extended period of time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 08:15 AM
201

I call these men, ABUSIVE💡 TBH, I haven't met a man who was avoidant attached and not abusive🤔 I understand that men have mental health struggles. But all that shit is tied in with everyday male entitlement. My ex could pass as avoidant attached, but that didn't stop him from making excuses for his cruel abuse. Men hide behind mental health. They don't care and will happily keep abusing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 12:03 AM
45

Intrusive sexist thoughts are a symptom of the world we live in. The more we learn, the more we forget we used to be those girls. Your comment reminds me that I was a pickme who thought everything was my fault. I was never jealous of other women, but I believed that I deserved mistreatment - I'd do circus tricks for crumbs of affection. When I interact with women who are/were jealous of other women, intrusive sexist thoughts rear it's ugly head. I have to keep myself in check with that too. Not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:51 PM
282

Butterflies = anxiety Anxiety = intuition Intuition = 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 11:34 PM
127

I don't want to look it up🙈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 08:11 PM
484

Age gap relationships!🤡 Growing up, I read heaps of forbidden-love romance glamorizing emotionally and sexually abusive men. The word "grooming" or "pedophile" wasn't in my vocabulary then. Thankfully, I never dated an older man. But I still minimized male violence as something "normal" that women endured until they proved themselves worthy of love. I grieve so much for my younger self😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:57 PM
37

There is!!!!! Apparently not acknowledging people's race stops racism🤔. Yes, let's be colorblind and ignore the core identity of a person. Same way we ignore male violence because men aren't violent /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:41 PM
66

6 inches, 6 feet, and 6 figures?? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:35 PM
50

Have you ever heard men deride their friends for "making them look bad"? They're always mad at the guy who happily meets/goes beyond the needs of his partner. Men bond over misogyny. So yeah they get embarrassed, but not because they care about the woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:33 PM
91

Crazy how passive aggression is propagandized as the female version of male aggression. Yet, men abuse you out of spite! All their abuse has some sort of power move attached to it🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:29 PM
20

You can tell men have life on easy mode. Everything is a joke, "not that deep", or sArCasm🙄. Nobody holds them accountable for their actions so they willingly make light of things. They lack a repertoire of skills that a good portion of women already have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:21 PM
72

I'm here for it!! Perhaps we can stop all the posts waxing poetic about HVM women have known for 3 months!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 07:09 PM
88

Society disrespects women enough. This is just torture😒.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 01:52 PM
239

Eventually... No doubt he'll start off great. Men can't hide true intentions for long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 12:18 AM
23

You deserve better. Why would he schedule a date the day after a wedding? Poor planning and none at all. December is right around the corner. Why not a well-planned December date? His intentions aren't pure. He just wants a you lined up when he moves to your city. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 12:16 AM
1

It's a fucking headache when they do that😒. Skip two paragraphs to get to the point. That highlights how women have been socialized to inflate the actions of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:21 PM
2

I know it's painful.... but girl the naps thing took me out😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:16 PM
5

I spy with my little eye a LVM predator🤔 Doing the math, he was 28 and she was 18. What does a man nearing thirty have in common with someone who can't legally drink (in the US)? ---- She was preyed upon and her subconscious senses it. If everything is fine, why is she posting? She knows he took advantage of a naive teenager and she wants out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 11:10 PM
129

Where's the lie?😂 Let's not normalize men exploiting women they don't like in the meantime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:59 PM
57

Red flags everywhere 🚩🚩. (1) He postponed the date. (2) He didn't tell you what the date was b/c it was a "surprise". What if you didn't dress accordingly? (3) He could've sent an Uber for you since he could infer that you wanted to be fetched🤷 I understand it's the early stages, but that doesn't excuse bare minimum behavior. Him not touching you is expected. He shouldn't fucking try unless he asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:52 PM
30

Yes, actually! They don't confess until they feel comfortable. Men will hint at it with euphemisms or bring it up casually to see what you'd do. The majority of them are hiding depraved porn addictions and rape. My ex sexually assaulted women on dates and told me that previous women "didn't let him touch them". I later realized he groped their genitals or breasts and they'd (rightfully) get angry and tell him to stop. The man from my above comment said he grabbed women and took pictures of them.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:50 PM
42

It's the men that are the issue. Also, this problem is transracial! Designer bags aren't the standard for good treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:32 AM
312

Chronic (willful) incompetence is endemic among men. When asked why they chose a particular woman, the married/partnered ones say "she takes care of me" , "she helped me get on my feet", etc. No comments about who the woman is or what makes her unique. It's just his needs. That's why I cringe when women get excited about being picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:24 AM
189

A guy I knew waited 4 months to fully disclose that he sexually assaulted multiple people. Some men wait months/years. Always keep your eyes peeled!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 03:44 AM
123

What a fucking manipulative loser he was! He was playing nice and would've left right after. Not flirting with men has given me so much peace of mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 03:42 AM
51

Jealously is the root👆. And your dad sounds sweet. I get tired of the "I have this - they don't have that- problem solved" narrative. Men just want to control you. They feel entitled to your attention. They will attempt to remove anything that hinders their access to you. Doesn't matter what it is. It could be a confident friend that inspires you or a successful business. Objectively, you're not better than someone because of a degree or your annual income. You don't move into a new dating brack…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 10:00 AM
161

Yeah. Men use it as an excuse. If his ego was bruised, society let's him justify any/all subsequent abuse. Unfortunately, the goal is to "conquer" women, not love them. Resistance to their tactics makes them indignant - it's merely a game of power. The power dynamic is affected by how much energy he exerts. If he considers a woman a hypergamous match, he'll perform better. When he's not rewarded, he feels cheated (lol)😂. If he feels like xyz woman is an "easy" conquer, but she leaves faster than…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 05:49 AM
36

Truer words have never been spoken😂 Interactions with men are layered with insinuations and undertones. It's always the male clients at my job that give me the hardest time. They either think I'm flirting or are asking me out on a fucking date. Like no Jerry, I just need your signature 🤢🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 01:54 PM
132

What the fuck💀. Sis, I know how that feels! One guy walked in circles around me and said he'd never get tired of looking at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 01:40 PM
64

I feel you! I suggest at least 3 video calls before meeting in person. I cannot imagine doing this texting back and forth shit😑. Video calls allow you to evaluate his choice of conversation, his consistency, and your compatibility. A few years back, I ended a date with a guy who made multiple comments about how great I looked. He said all thay while staring at my body, and not me. He really thought I was going to hug him afterwards 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 01:35 PM
25

OP, perhaps seek out churches? I know US churches provide meal boxes and clothes. You could ask them for help with a place to stay. See if a parishioner would spare a room or even a couch. If I was super desperate, I would go to the airport or hospital. Hangout in a the waiting room/ terminal (s) and try to get myself together. It's better than the streets. I feel for you. I'm sorry about your mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 09:52 AM
292

Misogynists don't consider women raising their kids "work". In his mind, he's letting a friend crash with him and footing the bill🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:35 AM
585

He 100% is playing the male-bumbler card😑 Why can't he help make "just few more plates" if it's not a big deal? He says cooking is "her area of responsibility" as if cooking for a full house is a minor task. This man resents that his wife is a SAHM. He takes her for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 06:33 AM
218

He's been waiting for this moment🤡 Growing up, men learn they don't have to work on their character to be "successful" in dating. OP lists his apparent high earnings as a substitute. It's the same with men who think a well-paying job, traveling, and speaking multiple languages is a personality trait. If they're rejected with either of those experiences, they cry because they didn't get what they were promised🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:32 PM
18

When's the last time a murderer was deterred because his victim smiled?🤔🤔 Women are NOT required to smile. The fact that everyone thinks placating men is compulsory, is proof we live in constant state of male violent oppression. I'm so sick of this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 08:32 PM
1

Man: proceeds to emotionally bully his wife into non-ethical sex (and non-consensual considering his manipulation tactics extend beyond a money jar) Also man: "it's a jOkE" 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 09:34 PM
98

You can tell he's been abusive and accostomed her to intermittent acts of "kindness". It's sad that she romanticizes violent sex, when violent sex is meant to be everything but romantic 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 05:08 PM
152

It's clear people don't know a thing about relationships. Yes, you need compatibility. But, you also need self-awareness👆 Men like to disguise their abuse with behaviors that allow plausible deniability, like teasing and sarcasm. Making malicious and passive aggressive comments is not sarcasm. Sarcasm, when done correctly (and only with people who have a deep connection) has a humourous undertone. Let's say you and a friend are irritated after a long day. You both agree to pick up macaroni at th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 02:18 PM
74

You're not "overanalyzing", you're just analyzing🤷 Society exaggerates anything a women does. With time, enforcing your standards won't feel like a chore. And with time, you'll find an inner peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 01:55 PM
63

Absolutely a red flag🚩 He's inconsiderate. And after his sister fed him, he doesn't help clean up as a thank-you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 11:18 AM
46

One of the hardest recovery lessons! I don't continuously ask for things even if I know the person would say yes because that's taking someone for granted. I only give when it's appreciated. Healthy relationships operate this way. Unfortunately, users don't mind taking you for granted. Toxic people will make it your fault for how willing they are to exploit you. It's best to establish boundaries in romantic, family, and work situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 04:13 AM
23

PLEASE! Whatever you do, don't be anxious😭 When I was unkissed and "virginal", I policed my behavior. I read about the 3 date rule in Cosmo. I practiced kissing on my hand😂... Remember that you're vetting HIM. There's no need to rush. You don't have to kiss on the 3rd date or the 13th date. And, past relationships aren't proper first date discussion. If the topic is broached later on, just say you haven't had anything significant (which is true). He's on a needs- to- know basis until further not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 09:44 PM
60

OP, I made plans with someone 5 days before the scheduled date. During the week, they were mostly unresponsive and never set a time/place. Tell me why Saturday morning I get a text saying they finally found something 🤡🤡🤡🤡 You expect me to wait around? As far as I'm concerned, we don't have plans🙄. Block him, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 09:35 PM
5

I got that too! My (former) therapist actually knew my mother and didn't believe me when I explained her abuse🙄. People think you're ungrateful or rebellious if you point out the dysfunction. Recovery is ongoing. What surprised me were the similarities between my ex and my mother. I remember the day I had the realization like it was yesterday. Same mannerisms, same abuse tactics... Don't know how it was for you, but I didn't speak to my mom for about a year. And even though I talk to her now, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 09:29 PM
95

Ironically, breaking ties with my abusive mother🤷. She was codependent and I was enmeshed. I was a naive pickme because of socialization, but mainly it was a survival tactic to escape her abuse. After entering an abusive relationship in college, I was unable to keep up the facade. Never in my life had I been that angry or depressed. I felt stupid, because I didn't know what sexual assault really was. And stupid because I wasted over two decades of my life trying to be loved. After that, it was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:01 PM
8

Let us know when you do! I'd fucking love to hear that story. She should be ashamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:51 PM
26

Just like abusers say, "there's something evil inside me"🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:48 PM
23

Don't be hard on yourself😔. Men liken women to various types of food. Porn allows men access to "all" women. Misogyny dictates that all men should "experience" different types of women - because women are collectible objects. Otherwise, they wouldn't make categories. It's why raping women of the enemy country was a benefit of war, slavery, etc. It's why brothels we're created. Step away from dating if you need to. I hope you've found ways to recover from ED❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:45 PM
16

Spot on👆 At the end of the day, it's about what will make HIM look good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:33 PM
185

Yep! Stay away from men who think you're "hard to read". They're looking for vulnerabilities to exploit. AGREEING TO THE DATE MEANS YOU'RE INTERESTED. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW UP, SIS. 🙄 Edit: Can we also normalize men having similar boundaries? I don't want a guy who waits for me to "feel comfortable" or wants me to establish the pace as if he'd be okay with sex if I was. We need to have similar views for what the pace should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 09:58 PM
517

Of course not. He wants to "false flag her ass"😬😬😬. I bet it's some rapey shit. Or glorified torture. Society casually accepts that half of the fucking population are psychopaths addicted to sexual violence. They have no problem with sex trafficking. Just another Tuesday for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 09:55 PM
261

Women are scared to hold men accountable! I know because I've been there. We all subconsciously acknowledge that men are malicious. Yet, we're pressured to pretend like they're upstanding citizens. We downplay misogyny and continue to make excuses for men. A perfect person doesn't exist. But women act like they must be without flaw to call out men's disgusting behavior. Just because you looked through his phone, doesn't disqualify you from saying he's a rapist if he's a fucking rapist 🤧. Same go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 09:49 PM
157

I doubt he was a good person, sis. A misogynist can never be "good". But, I totally agree with you. Before I started dating, I was generally weary of men. I think I liked men because I was expected to. Their heterosexuality was entirely violent in nature. How can someone love that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 09:40 PM
148

(1) First, you can't be healthy in a toxic environment. Always plan to leave eventually. (2) If you can, wait before replying. Minutes, hours, whatever. Start using conversational platitudes. My boss likes to neg me - so my response to anything he says is "sounds good". I never go into my specifics about my life. I only ask work-related questions. I deflect any personal questions with work-related questions. Most importantly, detach! Don't let the situation control you. Don't be fearful of losin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 09:32 PM
7

Preach, sister. Where's the "Queen [Tom Brady's Mother]" I don't like the Kardashians, but see how Kris Jenner is a she-devil. But Richard Williams is strategic and dedicated 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:49 PM
248

When this squeaky little fucker publicly announced that he yelled at Camilla, I KNEW his ass was LV. The media was like, "he's so honest"🤡 The fucking audacity. I'm not surprised. Everyone was romanticizing their shit😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:34 PM
34

I feel your pain😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:30 PM
63

True. After a certain point you have to stop lying to yourself! It's a mixture of fear, socialization, and denial. Women do not owe men sex! People match on OLD and go on a date immediately. You need to have consistent communication before an in-person date. Schedule a few video calls first👆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:27 PM
17

Everyone who downvoted clearly didn't watch the Addams Family modern movies😂. It's not in the episodes. But there's a scene that alludes to Morticia on a stretcher as they have sex. And she said something about pain. Edit: In the 1991 film Morticia is being tortured on a bone stretcher for trying to save Fester. Then her and Gomez discuss using it for [sex] later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 12:02 PM
26

His abuse made her codependent enough to beg. And now he's resentful because he wanted a woman for the push/pull power dynamic. She's not exciting enough for his psychopathic brain. His passivity says it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:26 AM
19

Overcoming fear is crucial! It's one of the hardest things to do. 5 years is a long time to beg. I wonder what else is going on that she neglected to mention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:21 AM
212

Ploy twist: the husband was having an affair with the neighbor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 05:02 AM
61

I acknowledge that this is overwhelmingly a symptom of her husband's abusive dynamic. He's emotionally violent and pretends to be the passive, bumbling husband. However her motives suggest something else too. It's not actually about her husband. It's about being wanted in general. I remember being in an abusive relationship with a rapist. Majority of the time I was fearful, anxious, and confused. But I had moments where I recognized my own denial. My mother begged my dad to marry her. Literally …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 04:03 AM
51

TBH as a child from an abusive home, I saw two emotionally abused girls achieve greatness against all odds. The romanticization of his abuse is deplorable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:30 AM
79

For sure. They glossed over his LV behavior and had the audacity to posture like Venus/Serena's mom was harsh for mentioning HIS fucking behavior 🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:27 AM
63

I just finished watching this movie and wondered if anyone made a post😂😂😂 Might as well call the movie, "Richard Williams Biopic" after sabotaging a perfectly good film idea. About WOC who broke barriers, no less. After the credits, I just sat in confusion 😭. Classic misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:24 AM
703

WHY did she do that? This post made me CRINGE😬 Ladies, marriage will not validate you. Nor is it that important. FFS. Ugh. She deserves better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 08:07 PM
33

A few days ago, there was a post asking how to comment on a woman's cleavage considering they "put in all the effort for a reason"🙄🙄🙄 It doesn't matter what a woman does, some guy (somewhere) will assume it's for him. Everything is a male fantasy. The earliest theological and philosophical texts were men pontificating about a man's "destiny". Ironically, these men couldn't fulfill their destiny unless a woman bore their children. What started as a narcissistic attempt at immortality, turned into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:23 PM
99

Preach sister. And hard to keep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 02:25 AM
199

You'll have us... Is it too morbid to insert a "lol"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 02:22 AM
65

I wish I could award your comment🏆🏆 That's the truth. Men with even an ounce of misogyny cannot be good fathers. Women think a man not leaving makes him good. That's where the bar is!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:56 AM
138

The majority of male colleagues I've worked with have made suggestive remarks. They pretend it's flirting. But it's predatory b/c they have a herd mentality. 3 guys in the same friend group hitting on me ISN'T a coincidence🤔. I know men have "competitions" to exploit sex from women. I never realized how anxious I was around male coworkers until I spoke to one that didn't (outwardly) objectify me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:49 AM
58

Exactly. He knew he didn't like her when he met her. He either coerced it or realized the woman had bendable boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:26 AM
71

Prostitutes don't have FLSA laws or OHSA regulations. For disadvantaged women, it's life or death. Trafficked women don't have a choice. Children don't have a choice. If you sell your body to afford dinner, that's not a choice. Celebrities creating OnlyFans is a mockery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:56 PM
12

Guarantee these "bros" turn a blind eye when their friend rapes someone. Women created girl code to protect themselves from men. Men have bro code to protect men who commit crimes and/or psychologically abuse women. Wow😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:31 PM
66

He never saw a woman, an airplane, movie, or automobile 😑. I spend my free time reading archives and the objectification of women is commonplace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 05:30 AM
116

The rat photo took me out😂😂😂😂😂 But... Chris Rat wasn't LV because he couldn't "provide". His character is TRASH. That's why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:15 PM
152

She isn't looking at the woman because she's bisexual 😑.....she's looking to shield herself from the embarrassment and pain she feels when her LVM is ogling other women. Finding people attractive is inevitable. But, how you look at them is about respect. If you're dating, lascivious looks are unacceptable. It's also inappropriate while single. You can see them, but move on with your life. People have turned into voyeurs. Everything must be filmed, pornified, and posted on TikTok. Save these kids…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:13 PM
94

💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:03 PM
498

I hate that some users treat FDS like a religion. They dictate what FDS "allows" as if they cannot function without a set of rules. Wear makeup....Don't wear makeup. That's pandering to the male gaze...but this isn't 😒😒😒 Like, sis.... FDS is a lifeline for many women, but ultimately YOU enforce your boundaries. Use the content here to transform your dating/personal life. You can't tell a guy, "I have this boundary because FDS says so". We live in a modern era where you can order groceries on an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 09:36 PM
17

Ugh...🤢🤢🤢 What a shame Patient my ass ..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 09:37 AM
374

Coercing women into premature non-consenual sex is normalized. And men declaring they need to test for "sexual compatibility" is an extension of that😑 Men want you to: feel guilty for not making yourself sexually available to them; believe that your self-worth is dependant on your sexual performance; and internalize that you'll be devalued if you don't satisfy him. He wants you to think you owe him sex. This ideology caters to male pleasure and disregards what a woman wants/needs because to trul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:52 AM
112

Men join churches to find wives. No woman in particular, just whomever😒. Because any woman can fill the role. That alone proves female objectification. The scriptures literally say a woman is a "help-meet". So, she's breaking her back to make his life easier? Living to make him happy? It's a bunch of fucking bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:28 AM
153

It's a total paradox. They really are. After decades on indoctrination, women police themselves. Men created the ideology and women latch onto it like a lifeline because (in modern day) it determines their desirability as "good" women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:16 AM
49

Seriously. The narrative needs to change. Perhaps, "What benefit does marriage offer to men in varying life circumstances i.e. education, finances,"🤔 And thank you!😬 Marriage does not benefit women. It was created to benefit men; it was a financial contract between the groom and the bride's father! Women were expected to dedicate their lives to the "happiness" of their husbands. Marriage validates pickmes because it justifies their hardships. It's currency to compete with other women. To show wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 06:19 PM
34

No. That ideology was created by women with internalized misogyny who think it's a woman's fault if a man is low effort. Because men's behavior is our responsibility, right?🙄 Your ex's character dictated his actions. Period. Have you considered that if your standard was lower you'd still be together? Is that what you want? You didn't "let" him slack. He slacked because HE wanted to. That's who he is. And he did it before you and he'll do it after you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 02:31 AM
4

My issue is that the boyfriend already KNEW she wanted a proposal. According to him, she mentioned a ring pop. I cannot explain how fucking sad it is that women are begging men to marry them!!! I see it on social media. Instagram models dropping hints to their "partners". Posting wedding dresses and telling their followers to "give Jake a clue"🙄🙄🙄. Jake knows and doesn't care. Can we stop fixating on marriage like it validates us? It's not a "reward" for patience or long-suffering. Women shouldn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:41 PM
162

If I had Taylor Swift's money, I'd never marry😂. I'm not marrying regardless, but the extra coins are nice! But if she truly wants kids/marriage and her boyfriend hasn't proposed, she needs to leave. It's about what a woman's priorities are. Also, can we stop treating ourselves like objects? Vanessa Hudgens ex "traded up". Wtf does that even mean?😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 12:28 PM
58

I hate that too. People want to live in fantasy worlds where there husband isn't a pedophile or their favorite celebrity didn't murder 5 people. It's why the media loves to use "underage women" instead of CHILD!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:06 PM
230

They believe in "establishing dominance". Doesn't matter if they're a rapist. The goal is to impress other men because it's men they truly love. Men continue to rape because there are no consequences. When I reported a sexual battery, I was asked, "was I sure I just didn't regret it". I was 21 and believed that after being sexual assaulted, I had to willingly participate in any subsequent activity because refusing to do so made men mad. The guy from the story will continue to rape. And his roomm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:00 PM
322

Society denies that the majority of violent crimes are perpetrated by men. Yes, there are female pedophiles; female abusers; female rapists. Just think of Ghislaine Maxwell! But male violence is political. It's woven into every thread of society from government, education, healthcare, economics, science, religion, etc. American cities don't even plant female variety trees because they produce fruit and are a "menace/inconvenient to deal with". Hence the excess pollen🤧 Nonetheless, men KNOW. They…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 10:42 PM
189

This strategy works on abused women and women who've yet to reject their oppressive socialization. I only respond to my name. Men (even those who know my name), make intelligible sounds, tap on objects, or whatever else to get my attention. That doesn't work and neither does the above psychopathic tactic🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:20 PM
95

😂😂This is too funny!.... NSFW ladies🚩... But also imagine collecting your discharge, cause you know "it's hot when men swallow". Men get aroused by degrading women. Swapping bodily fluids during sex is one thing, but swallowing a man's semen is another. I'm not swallowing shit🤐. And pickmes need to stop thinking it makes them "freakier".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 08:14 PM
208

I remember the first time I confronted a man that was harassing me in the store😬 I was scared as fuck, but told him if he spoke to me again or if I saw him following me, I wouldn't hesitate to get store security. He fucked off after that. Always analyze your surroundings in case it would escalate the situation. But, that felt so freeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 12:15 PM
62

I hate that you think there's something that you need to change😔 He would've tried (and will try) with anyone. You're not the first. And sure as fuck, not the last. Honestly, I'd report his ass to campus police.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 08:46 PM
8

LOL😂😂😂.. That's true. Brothels are "offering" sex (rape) as an incentive to the unvaccinated. Dystopian world we live in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 08:17 PM
57

That's not dishonesty. At the 6 month mark, a man is on a needs to know basis👆 It's not like you're concealing a contagious disease. You're still in the initial vetting stages. Presumably, he wouldn't be staying at your house, meeting the family, or anything. I'm not close with my family. My parents are abusers. So, I provide laconic responses until I'm ready to elaborate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 06:23 AM
184

Girl... The porn addict would make a Reddit post about being "uncomfortable" with your past. Then renew his P0rnhub subscription 😒. Nonetheless, I know how tumultuous the industry is and I'm glad you're alive ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:52 AM
155

I can't comprehend telling a man anything trauma related before 8 months - 1 year. But part of me wants to know sooner than later. I'll never forget how my pickme friend shamed me about my sexual assault after 4 months of knowing her! How would it have been if I was friends with her for another 4 months?🤐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:49 AM
306

I've known toxic, abusive, and downright cruel people from all genders. But nobody can refute that men are DISPROPORTIONATELY psychopaths, sociopaths, and everything in between. Wtf😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:40 AM
31

But even if you're in a relationship, that doesn't mean you will have sex with him. You have sex with him when YOU want to. Also, you shouldn't tell him why. You're allowed to stop kissing him and leave it at that. If he asks why or when, he gets blocked. No exceptions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:30 AM
19

Don't have sex with him, sis. It's not worth it. 4 months exclusive is not enough time. You can see who he is better when you're not aroused. Rose colored glasses!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:21 AM
60

What is their "respect" worth if it's HIS penis that "ruined" you? They're so delusional 😑😑😑😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:16 AM
240

(1) That wasn't a "HVM" 😑. Hence your intuition. (2) You should not date with the "other women may be better than me" mindset. Why would you want someone so emotionally unmoored that they breakdown like it's the end of the world if you leave? and (3) All women posses unique qualities that may be similar, but are not the same. So, even if he dated hundreds of women, that does not guarantee success with you. If he wants you, you're in the same "league". End of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:31 PM
30

The women that did aren't happy🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:24 PM
81

Thank you. The 3 months is bullshit. Consistency for 1 year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:22 PM
254

Sis. It's because they don't consider women friends. Not even their romantic partners are their friends. Men consider women sexual resources. That's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:21 PM
89

I'm glad you stuck to your sexual boundary. But (for lack of a better term) it's not your responsibility to circumvent a man's intentions. If he asked you to sext and you don't want to - BLOCK HIM. If he asked you to come to his house, and you don't want to - BLOCK HIM. And never see him again!❌ He already showed you who he is. Stop trying to negotiate with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:19 PM
316

He needs to clean his own fecal matter! That is non-negotiable. The main issue is his disregard for her comfort. Having a spouse with IBS is hard. But, even if I had health issues that made my general habits messy, I wouldn't want my spouse to be responsible for them 100% of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:06 PM
88

This is a pervasive ideology amongst religious groups too - that the man is the "leader". What exactly are they leading? If their self-worth is dependant on women minimizing themselves, how are they adequate leaders?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 07:09 PM
57

This is why I refrain from being friendly with men. Even at work. They start off flirty, but won't listen when you speak. I met a guy and we were going through basic small talk. When I chimed in he cut me off and didn't comment on what I said😂. I don't have time for that. I'm not doing all the heavy lifting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 04:07 AM
62

No fucking way. Never liked JayZ or Beyonce, but damn... And Beyonce pretended to like Tina😶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:32 AM
65

Reddit represents real life. Even if the majority of men aren't on Reddit, they still share the RP sentiment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:30 AM
249

Men like the power dynamic. Especially if you're in a helping profession. When I was 18, I worked at a restaurant. This 40 year old guy, who arrived in a BMW, asked me out. I refused and he started ranting about how I'd be lucky and I'm missing a good thing🤣🤣. He kept trying and left in a rage. LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 01:25 AM
65

I know it hurts going through balding😔. I wish women's appearance wasn't tied to their financial and economic well-being. We're supposed to look eternally youthful with long locks and no stomach rolls. Most likely, the standard comes from decades of child marriages. Men are afforded more humanity than women because the world centers the male gaze. I wish women didn't have to "fix" themselves. We don't need men to tell us we're beautiful. And I love what US Rep. Rashida Talib did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 07:55 PM
181

Yes! Mistreatment will happen eventually. What men withhold/manipulate is based on the unique needs of the current woman he's with. If she wants to get married, he'll never marry her. If she specifically asked for better communication, he won't communicate. That's weaponized incompetence. The more women explain, the easier it is for him to refuse what you're asking for😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 05:47 PM
63

Thank you. Did anyone see that video of a white woman on a beach in Bangladesh and all the men watching her? It's because they associate her with porn. We're nothing but "flavors" to men. Non-white women think white men "respect" white women (b/c they marry them🙄). And white women think WOC are sexual goddesses that have a sex appeal they don't. Like..... GET A GRIP FOR FUCKS SAKE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 01:04 PM
63

Blonde hair is a sociopolitical marker of PRIVILEGE. Men don't like blonde hair because it looks golden in the sun😑. They like it because of centuries worth of imperialism, colonization, racism, etc. To ethnic men, that is hypergamy. Men have brainwashed women into thinking it's about how we look. But it's about how much power a woman can give him. Is it economic power? Sexual power?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 12:59 PM
6

👀..... Really? What you said is sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 06:04 PM
25

Facts. That doesn't mean he cared. It means he manipulated you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:57 PM
54

Solution: don't promise🤷. I wouldn't even suggest it. Our culture treats women as amenities given to the privileged. People fake their riches to give the appearance of wealth. And men fake decent personalities, empathy, etc. to exploit sex from women. The OP acts like she owed him. His entitlement will never change. He'll just keep pretending. He has a "no bed frame personality" and you can't fake a "bed frame" personality for long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:55 PM
101

I had a guy say he was sometimes "able" to go 2 weeks without porn🥴. Addiction language 101
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 12:46 PM
44

Exactly. If I ever speak to white people about sexism, racism, and abuse from other white people, they become sympathetic to the abuser🙄. I had a white friend that ignored how her white boyfriend was sexually inappropriate with ethnic women. She didn't believe he was the problem! Even after 2 WOC told her so. This is why libfem is appealing to privileged women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 12:41 PM
147

She was 17 and he was 25. She is/was a victim. Hollywood is a cesspool of depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 10:12 PM
110

I invest time and resources in the things I want. Anybody who purports to want me as a romantic partner, should do the same🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 10:53 AM
140

I tried watching Westworld, but from the 1st episode I knew that a dystopian "themepark" would revolve around naked women and male fantasies. TV is too male centric.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 05:13 AM
85

TBH, you don't like him. And I suspect you'd feel the same way even if he wasn't a virgin. You said he was shy. You aren't. Everything apart from his virginity suggests you're not compatible. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 10:21 PM
25

I don't even know. He didn't go into detail about the sex. But every girl he talked about was "cool", and he mentioned how they were on birth control but he wanted to "extra careful" and get them PlanB too. I don't defend his actions. Nor do I put sexual assault/rape past him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 05:59 PM
64

Yes, sis. He also bragged about being the "good guy" and taking drunk girls to their room👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 12:31 PM
33

You do, but don't give yourself anxiety about it. You cannot control other people. Part of the reason why women feel guilty about taking precautions is because we're branded as emotional and crazy. The other part is not being picked. If they get bored, that's on them. If they use your vulnerability against you, that's their character flaw.🤷Sure it will hurt. But it will always hurt more if you stay. You're allowed to leave. Cut off people that enable them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 12:19 PM
113

When my brother came home from university, all he could talk about were the "cool girls" he had sex with🤮🤮 My family praised him because he'd buy them PlanB pills afterwards. All I could think of were the women wasting their time on him. He only cared about them as long as they made themselves sexually available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 12:07 PM
7

Bingo!🤯 If they "let us" talk, we'll eventually leave because their depravity is too obvious. If they withhold and manipulate, we'll be confused. This is also why people hate talking about race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 11:59 AM
27

I feel for her😔. My ex was very affectionate in public: holding hands, leg rubs, etc. But he also was a rapist, porn addict. Before entering a dating relationship in my early 20's, I too romanticized men. I was lonely. My loneliness was unbearable; I'd cry myself to sleep sometimes. Skin hunger is real and even babies can die from lack of love. But, as you mature you realize you shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself for love. Nor should you have idealized notions about relationships. Although my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 11:33 AM
66

Exactly. This is how he talks AFTER the first date? Nah. Pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:17 AM
114

Yeah. OP's guy should be excited enough to only see her. I'd stop dating him. His priorities aren't straight. He's too passive. I'm not personally into roster dating because I don't have the time, and men show their true colors fast enough for me to block/delete✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 04:14 AM
135

It's a green finger kinda thing🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 09:53 PM
67

Of course they know. For months, all I could speak about was how my ex stonewalled/ constantly gave me the silent treatment. But I could never speak about how he sexually assaulted me. Or how no interaction with him was consensual. That latter was off limits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 03:13 PM
119

I'm an American who's never dated American men, so yes this is true. Men are the same. No matter the race, religion, culture, or nationality. Don't be fooled into thinking men can't read body language. They are UNWILLING to acknowledge any woman's unique qualities because it's inconvenient for them. Men have disproportionate amounts of privilege. This rings true for all privileged classes too. I have trauma just trying to defend myself against racist microaggressions from white people. Never aga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 03:09 PM
17

🤣🤣. And men are female in the womb before becoming male. Smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 11:54 AM
19

Men think they're God. Lol what's new?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 10:10 AM
76

👆Yes it is. Part of the delusion is that religious men will "wait" for sex until marriage. That STILL assumes the man is owed sex. Religious men aren't better. Only a man's inner character determines that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 10:05 PM
222

He does that shit too? Of course. Why are people deluded into thinking male celebrities are desirable? All they have is money. The male entitlement is still there. Most of them are rapists. So what's the catch?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:24 PM
275

He's so disgusting 🤮🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 07:21 PM
2

I'm scouring old posts and your response had me laughing for like 5 minutes straight 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 05:50 PM
210

Yeah... "If I don't get her anything (for her birthday), she can look at this post"🤮 He is emotionally abusive. He thinks she should be grateful that he married her. He refuses to do housework, but will "open a jar of pickles"😒. These men are 🗑️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:44 PM
11

The series and progression of "disgusting" is hilarious 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:38 PM
117

Our society (through religion, education, culture) has convinced men that they all have unlocked potential. And that women are the gatekeepers to their success. Apparently we're here to make men greater. A help-meet so even the most mediocre, abusers can feel like God.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:24 AM
461

The resentment in his post is laughable. But that resentment reeks of violence too. It's not women's job to provide sex to men. Nor are "successful" men owed 20 year olds. Wtf. How many ways can he say he's a pedo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:18 AM
85

Yep. It was a sexual threat! He wanted her to feel obligated to sexually pleasure him while stuck in his car. No one is that daft. We all understand, "if it goes well"... Abusers rely on plausible deniability 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 09:50 PM
19

Just 15-20 minutes?? ☹️☹️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 09:32 PM
24

This too. It can be multiple issues at the same time. Men will intentionally look away to instill doubt hoping that you'll beg for their attention. It's abuse. They're trying to control you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 11:38 AM
26

It's hard to describe. But I've experienced men staring at my face, but refusing look me in the eyes. Staring at facial features doesn't necessarily humanize someone. But eyes do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 11:30 AM
74

Every man that purported to be interested in me, averted my gaze. My ex was porn sick and had the stare. His death grip fried his brain. He said he was bULliEd for acting like a "robot" - no shit🤢. He looked away constantly. The last three men who obviously had crushes, did the same thing. It's usually at work, so when I speak to them they scurry away or look at me just to look away again. Wtf. You can stare at my body when I'm not watching, but refuse to maintain eye contact? It's voyeuristic a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 11:19 AM
137

I've known "feminist" women who are staunchly against porn and the men that consume it But as soon as a guy wants to pick them, they forget all about that standard 🙄. Suddenly all men do it, so you can't escape it. And suddenly they're watching it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 11:05 PM
71

Oh😔. The ideology that women should be "innocent" is another perverse symptom of male dominated society. Innocent is easily manipulated. Like I always say, be kind to yourself❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 12:46 PM
27

Your instinct is correct. He could've asked about you apart from your work. I think that question is elitist too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 10:31 PM
94

TBH most men are rapists😶 How does the law define rape? Emotional domestic violence isn't officially recognized. Nor is coercive sexual violence. Men have decided what type of rape is acceptable to other men. Most men I have known willingly coerce women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:34 PM
93

Being trusting didn't make the men assault you. And being wary wouldn't have stopped them. There's always improvements we can make, but be kind to yourself ❤️.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:29 PM
77

That would bother me everyday at work😔 That boy is probably around 13, and it'll only get worse. Imagine him in 5 years... That's sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:26 PM
67

Why didn't he speak to you when he met you? Asking for your number afterwards is LV. Pulling in your friends when it should've been him speaking up is so low effort🙄 Glad you hesitated. I meet men like this ALL THE TIME. Their mediocrity is chronic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:15 PM
210

This is why men are so adamant about their money, jobs, and dating. Presumably, the more he spends on a woman, the less power he has. "Golddiggers" represent anxieties about the powerless male. If women have money/and or resources, she can leave🤷.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:13 PM
185

My dad abandoned multiple wives and children before child support was mandated in 1975. After the mandate he met my mother, but would only provide child support if he could get sex or an ego boost. He'd intentionally skip months of support when he owed $1000 monthly. And when he finally came around, it was to manipulate and control my mother who was (by then) desperate for the cash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:08 PM
31

If he struck her mother, he sure as hell hits Gigi too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:14 PM
242

I see men going through this thought process when they meet me🙄. FYI: Any guy who acts interested, but doesn't (at least) initiate platonic conversation , is 100% estimating how much effort he needs to put in. These guys linger and pretend to be "shy". They're trying not to scare you away because their true character is TRASH. If he was decent, he wouldn't worry about you disliking his real personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:53 AM
136

Yes! Men (or any romantic partner) should be enthusiastically attracted to you. If not, leave✌️ Vetting takes months. Consistency is key. Guys who are exploiting you will slip up eventually. From now on, I require that people invest in me figuratively and literally. I'm not settling for low-effort anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:45 AM
221

Exposing myself to STD's, revenge porn voyeurs, and trauma has NEVER been appealing 🤮 What people are looking for is love. Having sex with people you scarcely know is reckless, especially for women. It may feel good to get felt up, but it's high risk low - low reward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 06:01 PM
60

Yes! I'm here for the anti-corporatist, FDS queen-ery😍😍 Capitalism, LVM, and patriarchy are in bed together. Influence the culture, influence the people. Women are being groomed by these songs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:20 AM
15

Spoken like a Queen 👑. You're so right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 08:52 PM
71

SHIT😶. I am mindblown. Only the powerful can distribute empowerment. Puts libfem sex politics into perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:51 PM
145

I understand where you're coming from, but the last thing women need to do is mirror their lives after men. Men have exploited society's most vulnerable. We shouldn't feel obligated to succeed like men have. Case in point: social media influencers. Influencing is a female dominated field. Hence why men ridicule branding, content creation, and business savvy as pointless. Men are not the metric. Women's perspectives will get you farther than "white male mentors". Diversity of thought begets chang…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:28 PM
14

😂... Stepford Wives.. Those women are probably miserable but love that they were picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:00 PM
55

My 45 year old cousin just got married only because he was staying with his mom and his now wife has a house😑. I understand capitalism and stagnated wages, but my cousin doesn't love her. And it's the same for most men. Marriage is pure convenience. They say they need a "woman's touch" instead of saying they refuse to clean. They say they're ready to "settle down" instead of saying they were unable to get a mythical dream girl who's perfect, blah blah blah. And, how are they settling, when 10 ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:48 PM
51

As an aside, this always gets me. Imagine having so much generational privilege, that your life dilemmas singularly revolve around dating😒 There's a poem by Gil Scott Heron that sums up the historical disconnect between race in the US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 04:10 AM
180

This post made my skin crawl. Just casual everyday abuse for men🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 04:00 AM
146

TBH, your excitement over words NOT actions is alarming. You should have 5 year plans for yourself. Not 5 year plans based off the promises of the man you're currently dating You need to have a financial safety net that isn't tied to him. And yes, if you desire marriage, don't live with him until you're married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:58 AM
169

Women are conditioned to be a revolving door of resources for men. Do everything and think you're not deserving of anything in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:42 AM
37

I agree. He doesn't "owe" her in the sense that it's transactional. But his unwillingness to be generous is indicative of his contempt for her. These issues really need to be vetted early on. If a romantic interest isn't continually generous, then I'm out✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:38 AM
135

He felt entitled to her labor at 6 months🙄. She's being taken for granted and I'm sure there were red flags well before this. He's in this relationship because it's convenient for him. I wish women weren't so adamant about marriage like it's a "reward". She needs to leave him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:32 AM
15

She's basically making it the woman's fault when a man exploits sex workers because we can give it (whatever amalgam of dehumanizing sex acts) to him for "free"🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 08:37 PM
204

👆.... Leave him. If he wants to like pics of women he KNOWS on IG, let him. Why sweat it? You can block his ass and live in peace 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 08:14 PM
55

She was doomed from the start😒. First, she shouldn't be dating with heaps of internalized misogyny. Second, there wasn't "chemistry". Guarantee she over-romanticized him and their date. Third, it's clear she was only focused on him liking her. If this was me, I'd refuse to play. She put her credit card down as default payment before they even started. We've all been where she is. But she needs to learn ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 08:02 PM
77

Because she knows men will force or coerce sexual "payment" for dates. She hasn't developed self-security or learned that it's okay to say no. In a world where the majority of men have (economic, healthcare, and financial) privilege, why would you try and go 50/50 or pay for it yourself? Women don't owe men shit🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:47 PM
15

💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:14 PM
29

I'm an atheist now, but my childhood church normalized men cheating (amongst other things😑) If the men were in leadership positions, they'd go before the congregation and confess to lust (porn) or infidelity. Despite this, the wives and unmarried women never objected because "at least he provides". Men had passes to behave however they wanted because their wives were 100% dependent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:11 PM
111

This is why it annoys me when men have "crushes" on me. I'm obviously thinking about their porn habits, male entitlement, and general disinterest in women as human beings... But they like me, without knowing ANYTHING about me. I understand gravitating towards people you think are attractive. However, their interest is always conditional. If I change my hair even a little bit or talk about politics, it's like I've suddenly become a real person and no longer fit their fantasy 🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:41 PM
34

OP would have needed to apply to jobs with more than a week's notice to move cities. I hope it's true though. If it is, she was gonna leave him anyway. I can understand the skepticism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:27 PM
172

Yeah. I've already exhausted all precautions. There's nothing additional to do that I'm not already doing. I even stopped retrieving my mail during the day because men slow their cars down and hit on me. I've since moved, but that shit fucks with me sometimes 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:02 AM
118

Me too. That's why I had to stop being friends with women who consider me crazy and too cautious. A guy was being disgustingly inappropriate with my friend, but she still wanted to go to a party with him. I must've told her 5 times not to go. Turns out he raped her and another girl at that party. It obviously was NOT her fault, but I don't understand why we're mocked for trying to keep other women safe😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 11:38 PM
68

This whole ideology is bullshit. It's as regressive as marginalized populations trying to buy into Western/white society through respectability politics. Frued is confirming that society sees women as nothing but objects! Shows how valuable a man's affection is❌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 12:10 AM
19

Nah. OP's coworker never "respected" her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 12:05 AM
93

Men are so fucked up. I had a guy tell me he couldn't see a "woman of my caliber" trying to date🙄. Same shit with guys who like me but never make a move, but will GLADLY pursue women they think are "easier". This Madonna/Whore shit is tiring. Respect ALL women. Plus, I'm done caring about what men do or don't respect. Who gives two shits?😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 12:02 AM
261

😭The fucking audacity. They'll blame their ED on anything. And he threw in body shaming. What a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 08:00 PM
20

Basically, a guy (or anyone you're dating) should be eager to make thoughtful gestures without you asking. It's about integrity👈 Women have been duped into believing that we can control how others treat us. Sure we can (and should) defend ourselves, but we cannot change people's baser instincts. A guy who doesn't open the door or get you flowers is intentionally neglectful. It's the seemingly small things that indicate emotional violence. Let's say you need a ride to the airport. Guys in past re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 06:20 PM
55

Also, avoid men that need to be "held accountable" for treating you right🚩. Those are passive men who will give you less if you'll settle for less. The same men who won't give you flowers because you don't "expect" it. Classic LV and abusive behavior. The other commenter has good advice, but if he wanted to open the door he'd rush to get the door🤷. He wouldn't hesitate to see if you'd be okay with him not opening the door. If a man tries to touch you too early, leave. Seriously. Why should you t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:42 PM
68

I occasionally see male improvement posts on my IG feed... ALL of them list a "no porn" rule with consistent exercise and diet. Porn addiction is normalized and it's disgusting. Men get ED, watch rape, and fry their brains. Why would anyone want to have sex or be in relationships with these type men?🤮 Women end up dating porn addicts because the majority of men are porn addicts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 11:59 AM
7

The long-suffering woman is romanticized so women grow up thinking they'll be rewarded for their pain😶 Aside from finances, children, and abuse ----- If women didn't think marriage to LVM had value (or made them valuable), I'm sure they'd leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 11:19 AM
50

Yes! Male self-esteem is NOT a woman's responsibility👏 Men want dependent women who rely on them for confidence, security, and validation. It's not even about material possessions. It's about our mindset. Men want to psychologically control women because it makes them feel powerful. And feel like they have influence. I'm repulsed by the idea that men have it hard and "don't get compliments" and feel "pressured". They're whining about not succeeding in the patriarchal society they perpetuate. Cro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 06:24 PM
3

Privileged women in the global north don't have to. Of course not. Nor am I encouraging women to post them. I'm challenging the idea that women's behavior always has a sexual undertone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:48 PM
41

You're right. My mother is an enabler. Her and my dad divorced long ago, but she still romanticizes him (like she does with all men). He's raped her, preyed on young girls, abused me, etc. I'd come home after visiting with him and tell her all the horrible stuff he did. And she'd ignore it and tell me not to "judge" him. She's a religious zealot but also a pickme. I don't understand how mother's overlook men abusing their children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:56 AM
67

Society thinks women are "just hurt". His cheating puts her at risk for deadly STD's. She could get a unitary tract infection. She could develop cancer😐. Pair that with psychological abuse and depression. Men rape animals and stick their dicks in peanut butter. Like, we're supposed to believe that the majority of men are sexually moral?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:39 AM
15

Not quite. Men don't have to make careers with their bodies because women haven't oppressed men since the dawn of time and created markets for male "sex work." Men are afforded their whole humanity. Women are not. The issue isn't being attracted to people and wanting people to find you attractive. Birds in mating season make themselves attractive! The real issue is women cease to exist outside the male gaze. Male validation has become cultural currency that dictates women's education, finances, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:06 AM
18

100% agree u/blueboobs. Men sexualize EVERYTHING. Even children🤢. There's no secret formula to escape the male gaze. Bikini pic or not, men will try to exploit your likeness. Think about the word "modesty" and how it's definition is centered around the male gaze! Society makes women's bodies sexual objects. Breastfeeding is "sexual". Walking down the street is "sexual". Wearing makeup is "sexual". What women do is NOT the issue. It's men's interpretation of it. I grew up with women who policed m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:46 AM
4

😭 I've heard this too. The fucking audacity. Ahhh🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 08:39 AM
96

Agree! I'm not into performative femininity for men. It's disgusting how they infantilize themselves. Everything from sexual assault to household chores is romanticized as the silly habits of "harmless" men. It's, "I wanna see bOobIEs" and "how do I start the washer machine🤡". My ex rapist legit called his penis a "pee pee". It's even more insidious that women are pressured to be perpetually bubbly. Say it in a "playful" way my ass. Wtf🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:22 PM
17

👆👆 Abso - fucking - lutely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:39 AM
16

Sis, that's some real truth right there. My cousin had a child with an A1 loser and during her pregnancy she wondered if the baby would be ugly because of him. It's runner up for the most depressing thing I've ever heard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:34 AM
119

OP's girlfriend doesn't know him AT ALL. He's 100% guilty of the things she mentioned, hence his reaction. I briefly knew a guy who was friends with my friend and I sometimes spoke of male depravity. Overtime, this guy became livid and negged me any chance he got. Turns out he sexually assaults people. Admitted it too😶 When we say all men, this is what we mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:25 AM
197

Growing up, this is what I learned. Not sure if your comment is about religion, but women waited until marriage because it was assumed she didn't "need" boundaries with her husband. You're supposed to submit to your husband because marriage is "sexual protection". On a bigger scale, society pushes this ideology so women don't learn sexual boundaries. They want us to be deferential to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 01:47 PM
31

Yeah. What's the point of sending paragraphs? If a guy is unwilling to treat you how you want, drop him. Why try and negotiate your value? I've dealt with abusive people my whole life from my parents to my job supervisors. They only respond to consequence. And for a relationship, you need continuous consequences. It's not worth it🙅.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 10:03 AM
144

He hasn't acknowledged her personal value or his own emotional violence. He couldn't benefit from her labor anymore so he made a desperate attempt to keep her. There's nothing I hate more than people who suddenly change their behavior when the other person leaves🙄That's abuser tactics 101. If you have to "teach" someone not to take you for granted, they're psychologically inept and not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 09:47 AM
38

She said, "...I know exactly what this guy was trying to pull. probably was really into me the 1st date, but because the 2nd date was just ok he decided he could get away with stringing me along while he searches for a girl hes more into" 👈 The Madonna Whore complex places women in a binary. The only good for sex whores that men can use because of class status, ethnicity, sexual history, or whatever a man says. A Madonna is "wife material" and resultantly is treated "better" than the whore. She'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 09:37 AM
36

Yes, because apparently expectations are too much "pressure" for men😒. It's a symptom of the casual sex/hookup culture pushed by porn addicts and pickmes. (1) It teaches women to settle because otherwise she's being controlling and wants what he's unwilling to provide ----- otherwise known as NOT BEING COMPATIBLE. (2) It purports like women should be grateful for whatever effort a man gives. And that if we ask for anything, we're unreasonable. Most women would walk away if expectations aren't be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:35 AM
302

Don't assume he wasn't into you and therefore chose to become low effort because the second date was "awkward". That's another version of the Madonna/Whore complex❌ He was low effort when you met him. He was going to do this regardless of who you were. You had one supposedly "good" date. If anything, how quickly he showed his true colors should indicate it's not about you. Remember, men act according to THEIR character. Not your desirability. But, I'm glad you were ruthless. Don't accept less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 07:56 PM
25

I read in another sub that a woman's husband asked for sex. She wasn't in the mood, so he masturbated instead. Apparently women are alternatives to porn, masturbation, and en masse rape (according to libfem)😒. Why couldn't the husband not masturbate? Or wait until the morning? I understand that masturbation is natural. But I can 100% picture the wife feeling guilty about it. It makes her sexual labor a need instead of a privilege. To add ---- In the Apple commerical song Mystery Lady by Masego, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:32 AM
41

Exactly! I've had people try and guess what my sexuality is because I don't engage in hookup culture💀 I don't flirt, I don't enable toxic behavior, and I have serious boundaries. Because they can't have access to me, I'm automatically a "demisexual". If these same people actually cared they'd know🙄. Proves how shallow they expect human interaction to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:16 AM
58

Wonderful quote! Behavior exists on a spectrum. Contrary to popular belief (which is really just cognitive dissonance) people don't change. Yes, they may evolve. But that evolution is 100% dependent on their baser instincts. For instance, I grew up conservative. I never discriminated against immigrants or LGBTQIA+ individuals. I also hated living in a patriarchal world. Is it a surprise that I'm now an atheist commenting in a sub like FDS? No😂 Men are the same. Abusers, rapists, murderers, and t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:13 PM
5

Yep! When you step out of the haze and see men for what they truly are, any woman would be repulsed. Men are high risk and low reward. Pickme validation doesn't signify. You're left empty and shallow. Back then, I literally kept in shape to feel deserving of love. That shit is tiring😅 And, men are always trying to obstruct our right to the truth with "you're insecure if you snoop" or "you violated his privacy". Glad you looked in his Gmail. Plus, abusers never change their behavior. They're look…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 01:22 AM
59

The retort I get from pickmes is "maybe I like the attention"😶. Now, wanting affection from those you love/want to love is natural. But women have been duped into objectifying themselves for "love". Liking that someone is interested you is fine, but why do you have accept catcalling, harassment, sexual assault, etc?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:57 AM
112

Right. Like everyone's attractive to someone🤔 He wants a woman as an ego boost and nothing more. A woman who will validate that he could even get someone more attractive than her. Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so he sounds dense. Like, he couldn't find one woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:48 AM
221

My best friend in university was a sugar baby and experienced the same. It's natural to feel wanted, loved, and cared for. You're young and although you can't undo the past, you can learn from it. Sometimes it's not just men we desire validation from, but our parents or friends. To answer your question, 23. That was when I hit "rock bottom" after an abusive relationship. I was heartbroken, not because I was ever in love. But because everything around me was crumbling. Male validation was worthle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:49 AM
113

I wish we had a work/office politics series because this is so true! Male colleagues are 9 times out of 10 abusive or negligent. Holding men accountable is like pulling hair because they have so much support from pickme managers and bro' culture guys. Speak up once, you're told he's being "friendly"😶. Speak up too soon after starting a new job, "maybe this position isn't the right fit". Correct a man for doing any number of behaviors in an office that enables him, the woman is automatically the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:35 AM
44

I wish my mother was like that. Instead she responds to LV behavior with "aww he's trying"🤡 I must be a pickme reflex allowing women to feel motherly towards low effort manipulators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:18 PM
119

For sure. And it's a ploy to get women to do more emotional labor. I have the same issue at a new job I've been working the past 4 months. Same experience as OP. Plus the guy's team member said "he likes you" in suggestive tones😶. Why can't these guys speak to us like normal human beings? Are we supposed to ignore their hot/cold interactions because they like us? Apparently being the "object" of their desire removes the need for professionalism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:13 PM
38

For sure. It's not "just sex". Everybody essentially wants to have sex. It's the abusive methods and lack of accountability within the law that allows men to buy, sell, and rape for sex. The assumption that our bodies are men's to take. That's the issue🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:33 AM
587

Of course he did. That's why he did it. It's the cognitive dissonance ideology that male violence doesn't exist but also that women are irrational for being wary of male violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:16 AM
328

Abusive men exist. Society: 🤷 Women "maximizing their looks", "tailoring their personalities" , and desiring basic human respect. Society: 😠 What the fuck. I bet she feels proud of herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 12:08 AM
24

Thank you! Men like him never change. There will never be a woman he treats better. Doesn't matter if he "likes" her, he will exploit her all the same. A man's character is based off how he treats ALL women. If he mistreated one, he will mistreat them all🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:13 PM
517

Who's 115 pounds and a size 16????? LMFAO😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 07:24 PM
92

She basically said men stop listening once women cry, get hurt, or want other's to feel their pain😐. So, to "communicate" with a man you can never cry, show that you're upset, or hold men accountable for their actions....wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:04 PM
140

I'm not in STEM, so yes. I've always had to be hard with male colleagues. Every single man I've worked with has tried something: bullying, groping, taking pictures, harassment. It's a hit or miss, but I become completely unlikable. It scares the pickmes and irritates the guys. I want money, but I respect myself more than money. I've snapped back at my current boss so much that he avoids long meetings with me. He'll sing my praises elsewhere, but he knows I don't take his shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:02 AM
48

LOL! I discovered that too! These black guys always change their race on OLD😭. One 23andMe swab has them acting up! My skin is lighter, and in my eyes not by much, but these dudes think it's a compliment to ask what I'm mixed with. Like, I'm black bro. Back off. I'm not your comeuppance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:55 AM
142

As a child whose father regularly boasted about porn, flirted with teenagers, and masturbated during PG-13 movies, this woman needs to leave ASAP. Thoughts will become actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:42 AM
69

Good point! I used to read a lot of romance novels in my pickme days. And so many authors would write the "red head" girl as the troubled, secret nymphomaniac with attachment issues. The whole thing was disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:38 AM
73

No, facts😂 Black men fetishize me because they think I'm their biracial trophy girlfriend. And white men want me as their exotic arm candy. Easy pass🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:34 AM
72

Sis! I knew a white guy who "casually" mentioned visiting Amsterdam. Without provocation, he swore he didn't go to the red light district where women are trafficked. Same guy who joked about how much porn he watched😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:27 AM
167

Exactly. What's worse are the pickmes that believe this. I once heard a white woman complain that Black and Latinx women were "sexual goddesses" and that she should learn to twerk🙄....mmmm okay I could take hours describing all the vile stereotypes of the hypersexual black woman, spicy latina, submissive asian, and down to do anything white woman. But they're ideologies used to perpetuate violence against women. Ideologies used to take our humanity away. It's exploitation whichever way you slice…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 12:24 AM
110

This is what he wants. He wants you to question yourself and blame your intuition on anxiety. There's only one, red flag reason he could've never fought with an ex 📣. He (1) Stonewalled his ex. Then she'd argue and think it's her fault because he was silent and disengaged. Emotional violence anyway you slice it. By saying he never fought, he makes you question your behavior and not his. He makes himself blameless because he "doesn't get into arguments". So you'll be more likely to apologize for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:09 AM
270

I haven't met one man who doesn't think like this. It may not always be as extreme as getting earplugs. But "fathers" usually look for parenting loopholes that force the mother to bear 100% of the child rearing responsibilities. Men's bathrooms don't even have changing tables in them. Why? Because men aren't expected to care for children. Not to mention the increased likelihood of rape and assault😶 So men feel entitled enough to skirt childcare duties. If a woman did that with a newborn she'd be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 05:53 AM
41

You're right! Haha😂 Death grip, Daniel😷😷 Getting erectile dysfunction because he can't help but exploit women..shame
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 06:26 PM
45

Social conditioning, sis. Starts in infancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:37 AM
70

Damn. She'll hang on for years because she thinks those paper rings have intention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:30 AM
18

Can we also talk about the women on here using the term "bitching". If you say men "bitch" about things, do you realize how sexist that is?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:21 PM
316

It's his own damn kids. He's LOW EFFORT and claims his wife needs "less sleep"? How many ways can he say he doesn't care about his wife's well being? These types are always intermittently abusive. This is textbook lack of empathy🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 11:36 PM
84

Yep! So done with the "men are shy" bumbling bullshit. Men manipulate with this tactic. They want to see how much they can take with the lowest effort. In society, women's bodies/labor are synonymous with consumable resources, so manipulation isn't just "hurt feelings".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 11:57 PM
62

DAMN! Facts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:26 PM
217

Of course not. It's libfem!🙄 Men invented that porn category to degrade women during sex. Imagine saying you want to smear your menstrual blood on his face🤔 And what's even worse is female artists asking men to choke and spit on them (Cardi B and Doja Cat)...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:21 PM
242

And he prepared for it😶. He heard his wife going into labor pains and thought, let me pack my gaming computer🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:29 PM
32

My supervisor is a mid 60s white man. He is always undermining the work of my female colleagues (me too). Asking us if the work is "too hard"🙄. But let a man do exactly what we do, then it's nonstop praise😷.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:33 AM
107

Remember that making you orgasm and being able to afford a date is bare minimum💡 Just wanted to say that so you know the bar deserves to be high for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 07:40 AM
81

Yep! They use threats, coercion, and abuse as a "power" move Then they revel in the power and use it to justify more violence. I met a man who hated women. He was the victim in every story. And when he assaulted me, he was magically still the victim😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:13 AM
781

Gabbie's story is so fucking tragic that I've refused to read most news articles. As soon as she went "missing", I KNEW he killed her. Men do this ALL THE TIME. Women are never believed. Gabbie felt forced to talk about her supposed anxiety because that's the conclusion law enforcement was going to create anyway. I'm sure the male officers who came in contact with her are abusers too. Society will tell women they have BPD, Bipolar disorder, and codependency before saying they have PTSD and an ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:01 AM
10

Thanks for posting the long ass comment. Lol. I totally understand you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:42 AM
48

That's the saddest thing to me. Realizing that even the people closest to us, are (in general) harmful. From pickme moms to abusive dads. And even with a therapist, you need to vet hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:27 AM
88

Grayrocking is so hard when you're irritated😂. But it's a great tool to use around toxic/abusive people. Men like reactive women because reactive women are easily controlled. And there's two types of reactive women: the one who stereotypically slashes tires , burn clothes, yells, etc. And the one who send 5 paragraphs when a LVM gaslights her about how she reacted to his abuse🙄 If you place your happiness or validation in someone else's hands, all they have to do is switch the rules for you to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 07:34 PM
17

I'm so glad😊. But, I was duped the same way. The touching and seemingly "innocent sensuality" was way more invasive than having sex. Everything leading up to sex was nonconsensual grooming. My boundaries had been eroded during the first 7 days with the catalyst being the anxiety he caused me. I felt I betrayed myself I used to volunteer with domestic violence victims, and although the rape or beating was horrendous, it was always what happened before that the victims focused on. Of course this d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:53 AM
138

It's helped me to change the rhetoric from "What I have to offer" to "What I'm willing to give". Women shouldn't make sacrifices.. We are raised to believe we're naturally inferior to men. Our worth is tied to our utility, so we forget to acknowledge our needs too. We forget because we feel guilty. Guilty about expecting a man (or anyone) to invest in us/ease the burden of everyday life. It goes against the standard that women should give but never receive. So yes! As a disenfranchised woman and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:29 AM
26

This 100%👌 I don't believe sex bonds women to LVM (in the hormonal sense), rather the time she's spent with him. Dating is a psychological investment. So many women disregard the energy spent thinking of/interacting with LVM. As soon as you meet someone, they reserve real-estate in your mind. So if they're toxic, you won't know your boundaries have already been eroded by the 1st date. Time boundaries are SO important. Dates longer than an hour are a no🙅. A potential romantic interest needs to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:06 AM
141

Exactly... Most men are closeted gay men🤷. You claim to love/"need" women, but abuse women? Nah. Go ask your homeboy for anal🙄 From the dawn of modern society, the word "woman" has been synonymous with "resource". A resource for sexual, emotional, and domestic labor. Men, regardless of sexuality, still feel entitled to women's labor. To them it's a birthright. But, the women that continue to idolize men are beyond help. They're in denial. And, TBH, the women I've met who PERPETUALLY tolerate hor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 09:22 PM
154

All the profiles say they want a woman who: "understands SArcAsm", "Likes DArk hUmor", "Doesn't take themselves SEriouSly"🙄 OLD is just as bleak as in-person dating. Honestly, I hate both. There's nothing but rapists and abusers online. And in-person, you're talking to a man you don't yet know is a rapist/abuser. The ultimate paradox in a woman's life is living in a society that condones male violence, but tells you to love men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:12 PM
46

To add, men's fleeting acts of decency tie into pickmeism💡The pickme is picked because she's supposedly better than other women. That's why he bought her tampons, opened the door for her, and never pREsSUred her🙄. Women who brag about men's "decency", unconsciously or consciously, realize that respect is conditional. So they make posts explaining why they're with a "HVM" and you're not, 😆. It's really sad. These posts get traction because this language speaks to the pickme that used to be/is in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 06:40 PM
61

🙏 Preach!.... I've never had office romances but I 100% understand why men target new employees - because it's convenient and she won't know about his reputation. I just started a new job and two men are "interested". There's been no flirting, but they go out of their way to get in my orbit. Everytime they attempt to broach a more personal topic, I leave. I only talk of work.There's no need for us to be on greeting terms because I just met them! I've known women who dated in the office and it's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 06:30 PM
116

If he hasn't already. Let's not forget how he romanticized choking during sex. The Jonas Brothers have always been LV😷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 11:59 AM
178

Men are never clueless. Even if they live in denial, they know that women are avoiding conflict. That's why they bully, harass, and humiliate women that don't flirt with them. They like the threat of emotional violence. Dare I say it's what keeps them feeling cool. Knowing they have the power to negatively affect a woman's life. I knew a guy who said, "it's hilarious that women are always apologizing". The same guy who monologued about never "getting any" and his obsessive porn habits😫😷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:21 AM
102

Every man I've met does this. Even my 65 year old boss😷. He TRIED being sexually suggestive with a hint of love-bombing. He would insult me and do shit tests if I was polite. Not smiling or courteous, just deadpan polite😐 I've come to learn that uninterested women keep men "entertained". Getting the object is all the fun. Keeping it is not. Men legit don't see us as humans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 02:44 PM
114

Women can't walk down the street, eat bananas, or wear makeup without sexually "compromising" themselves. Men use these behaviors as an excuse. They're going to harass you regardless. The issue has always been predatory men whose actions are sanctioned by society and the "justice system"😐. At this point, I'm going to do whatever I feel like to my face and my body. I was naive to think men's behavior was ever my responsibility🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:08 PM
47

First.....there's NOTHING that you can change about your clothes, hair, makeup, or whatever to stop a man from being inappropriate. Why? Because his character determines his actions. Stop thinking you gave "hints". To him, your existence as a human being is a "hint". Second, don't be afraid to establish BOUNDARIES with men. All men!!! I cut off unnecessary conversation with men by abruptly saying "Alright" and gesturing to leave. I also don't respond to invasive questions because I DON'T HAVE TO…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 10:41 AM
10

Geez. I hope not. But you honestly never know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 10:08 AM
342

There's already something like this for porn-addicted rapists. Another lady here commented about it: it's a site using "anon" as the web address to post picture inquiries per state/region. And men create chat threads trying to locate the women. I checked the site to make sure nobody snapped me in my area. Fucking vile😠
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:15 PM
166

Groping is sexual battery. It's also sexual assault, but people use that phrase as a euphemism for rape too. OP's friend was waiting for a vulnerable moment. He intended to assault her. He assumed what her reaction would be because he already knew about her past assaults. And I bet it's not his first rodeo. He's done it before. Classic male bumbling. I am pained for her😔. Women don't realize/fail to acknowledge that the men they see everyday (family, co-workers, "friends") are the perpetrators. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 05:02 PM
303

The less you say, the more people seem to confide in you. This is true especially for women. If you don't say anything too extreme, they assume you like them. If men don't hear our opinions, they can project their desired qualities onto us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:10 AM
183

That's the saddest thing. He was 17years older. Hollywood grooms these young kids. Then they sexually exploit them and pretend their drug abuse and alcoholism (or whatever mental health issues) are unrelated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 12:04 AM
23

How did you find out? And why did he end up confessing? That shit is fucking scary. There's no way of telling with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:32 PM
207

Then after 4 months he'll confess to raping someone. Or confess to a number of egregious crimes with the hopes that you'll ignore it because you want to get picked😐 Despite abusing half the population, men want validation. That's why they use misogyny to bond with other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:41 AM
382

Of course not. He thinks relationships are transactional rather than reciprocal. Saddest thing is how she doesn't realize how much contempt he has for her. He has a child, but refuses to provide lest he become a .. "s!mp"🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:55 AM
47

Abuser tactic☝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:00 AM
149

Seriously! An abusive shit did the same thing to me A week passed and I was like "you asked me on a date"🤡🤡. We live and learn. OP, not only did he want you to chase him, he was setting you up for an abusive push/pull with intermittent reinforcement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:58 AM
120

Any man who thinks women are a monolith are MISOGYNISTS and prove that men don't consider women humans. Humans have variety. Humans have differing personalities, interests, and opinions. Men like that want to benefit from women's labor without engaging with them. They want to placate women and keep them occupied like dogs with a bone😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 10:35 PM
26

We need to change this rhetoric. Why should any woman give two shits what a "LVM will not rEsPEcT"?😂 (1) All abusive men will try LV behavior. Accepting LV behavior in the beginning doesn't mean he doesn't "respect" you because you accepted it. The fact that he TRIED means he never respected you. Obviously. (2) It's never too late to set boundaries. If a woman removes consent, does that mean her boundaries shouldn't be respected now? The test of a respectful person is whether they accept your bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 10:16 PM
41

LOL! 😆 I haven't heard this word since primary school. LMFAO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 09:53 PM
36

LOL. Says big Pharma and every corrupt government from the United States to Western Asia 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:23 AM
91

Right!? Like our bodies MUST be a sexual resource to society one way or the other. I've always been interested in sex. Like millions of women. But my interest and desire for sex isn't justification to engage in self-harming behaviors. And what is a wh0re if race and class dynamics didn't exist? What's a wh0re then?😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:20 AM
162

Say it again📣📣 Sex work (sexual slavery) is such a difficult topic to discuss because BIPOC have been forced into sex work through trafficking, exploitation, or sheer destitution. Then privileged women made it trendy. And who influences those privileged ideologies if not the men who control education, government and healthcare? Men needed to rebrand emotional/physical servitude as empowering. For example: eradicating the sexual double standard isn't about having sex like men😩😩. It's about disman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:13 AM
194

Men will harass you regardless of how you look. It's easy to get discouraged, but don't let fucking depraved, porn sick rapists make you second guess an art form you love🤷. Men do not care. They are criminals of opportunity. It doesn't matter if you have tattoo sleeves or a hijab. Whenever people or science purport to explain male behavior without mentioning men's violent socialization, why bother saying it's credible? We can strategize ways to shield ourselves from pain, but at the end of the d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:41 AM
73

It's ALL men. Every woman I know has been harassed at work or on the street, sexually assaulted, raped, had pictures taken of them etc. However, not a single man knows a guy like this?🤔 Silence is compliance. The pickmes who police other women aren't stupid. Consciously or unconsciously, they're afraid of male violence. Whether that be emotional or physical. They deny male violence to avoid male violence😐. At this point, every man who consumes porn is in the category of ALL men. Every man that's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 11:43 PM
24

It really is! I got sick of people asking me for my social media when we weren't even friends. Men asked the most; usually male coworkers, friends of friends, or guys I met in passing. People want access to you without interacting with you. Why would I give some low-life who never speaks to me the ability to scroll through my personal posts? So I only have LinkedIn now too. I've played with idea of launching business accounts, but for my everyday stuff, no🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:20 PM
195

I never understood why people pick spouses that look just like their family. Men having girlfriends who look like their sister; men dating women who look like their daughters; and more controversially women interested in men who look like their father. Being unconsciously attracted to similar personalities, sure, but the rest gives me creeps😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:49 AM
269

This dude should be locked up too. Apparently he'd like to rape a corpse. A mutilated corpse at that. There's nothing men won't do if they could get away with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:23 PM
312

No doubt OP was pressured or convinced to do this. She planned it in a desperate attempt to keep her LVM. He probably triangulates her with other women and she's preemptively proving that she's cool and low-maintenance because men's behavior "is biOloGy". I hate it too. So sad😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:15 PM
87

And people wonder why I'm intentionally never friendly to men - not coworkers, managers, family, etc😫 Men see women as sexual opportunities, not humans. There's a reason why rape camps during wars had "comfort women".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:20 AM
78

Men created the "men are scientifically/biologically superior" narrative to oppress women and minorities. Along with that was the "man up" ideology which only has significance when contrasted with feminine qualities of "weak/passive". Men tell other men to man up because "woman" is synonymous with lower economic opportunity and sexually exploitation. So, he should be pointing the finger at other men, not the women with internalized misogyny😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:12 AM
81

Exactly. Homeless women don't get sympathy, they are considered less of a safety risk than homeless men considering that the common denominator with homeless and housed men is the likelihood that he will sexually assault. And he's mad because he has to "take responsibility" for his short-comings? He's enraged because he can't exploit women's labor for his personal benefit or control people with his money? He's doesn't care about women as human beings. To him, we're consumable resources that are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:07 AM
97

He's speaking for himself! Pedophilia has already been passed as a "sexuality" ffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 02:50 PM
18

Yep! No more texting for me✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:51 AM
44

Exactly! If we aren't apologizing or minimizing ourselves, then we are "conceited with unhealthy expectations!"🙄 This man is racist and she's "mildly" offended. When has racism ever been mild? Smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:50 AM
41

Right! They're not even outside. They could be playing board games or hiking. I don't want a family attached to a screen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:45 AM
22

Yeah. The "pickme" man is more a symptom of lib-feminism. Unlike women, their "pickmeism" isn't tied to self-worth or access to social/cultural resources. Men like OP described benefit from the male bumbler ideology. In an effort to be "woke", he defaults to the woman, exploits her emotional labor. I've only seen men be pickmes for other men😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 07:41 PM
82

Denial, emotional abuse... Perhaps enmeshed social circles that discourage her from leaving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 07:16 PM
61

And it's usually not the sex itself. It's the emotional abuse and coercive behavior before sex. Men like this refute the idea of respecting you in general. Guarantee he didn't like your expectation of consistent communication or paying on dates😐.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 05:54 AM
158

Men RARELY face the consequences of their actions. Being a pedophile is hidden under euphemisms like "asshole", "creep" ,and "player". How many times have we heard that? The only group outraged by this behavior is women. Men normalize pedophilia because they're pedophiles. My dad was a pedo. Flirting with 14 year old's and talked about porn with me when I was a teen.These men are everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:45 AM
178

Lmfao. He 100% hates himself. And it's not women's fault. He's jealous of other men for meeting a pseudo standard that those men also fabricate. Men use women to impress other men. 😂. Just date men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:39 AM
16

You're right. A lot of women don't care how they're treated as long as they get a title. It's either girlfriend, wifey, or an actual engagement/marriage. She wanted her trauma and suffering to be rewarded😔 I hate how women are rAised to believe that suffering is default. And a badge of honor convicting other women who "don't hold him down".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:32 AM
96

A man who has a PhD isn't "better" than a woman with only a bachelor's. Assuming we can trade our achievements for respect is a symptom of people pleasing (unfortunately). There's nothing a woman can do to change a man's character. If he desires to manipulate you, he will TRY. He won't say, "I'm not going to abuse her because she has a PhD"😂😂. Or "I can't control her because she's intelligent". What does being a HVW mean to you? What is an intelligent man to you? That's the only thing that matte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:53 PM
39

This reminds me of the ways women are controlled, abused, and ignored until they have sex for the first time🤔. Not to say this doesn't happen after, but that before sex women are public property. And after, she's private property to be controlled by one man, or perhaps herself. Hence the bullying women face for "smelling themselves". As a virgin, I wasn't just inexperienced with sex. I was docile, timid, fearful, easily controlled, and accustomed to abuse. I can't speak for all women, but my fir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:46 AM
43

And now all the depraved, porn sick men have erectile dysfunction by 20. It's so widespread that a product called Roman is being marketed for men with ED😐. I've seen those stupid ass commercials trying to normalize an issue men 100% cause themselves. It even gaslights women into believing they should accept a man's ED for closer intimacy🤔 Men feel entitled to women's bodies. We've always been used as a resource of leisure, respite, comfort, and necessity. Always disenfranchised. Always separated…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:12 AM
34

Widely followed religions like Christianity and Catholicism, teach that our menstrual cycle is shameful. And, that women were "punished" with child-bearing because Eve "tricked" a man😧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:01 AM
53

Bestiality is EXTREMELY common. Any man who thinks animals mating is funny or makes a video recording it is sexually aroused by animals🚩. I've seen men pull out their phones or tell sexually charged jokes about it and nobody thinks twice😐. Men were deranged before porn. That's why they invented it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 09:55 AM
3

Exactly. She just widens her eyes like his penis is that big🙄. And then takes 3 deep breaths until he rolls over. And we're supposed to believe she liked it? Lmfao. I loathe romance plots in pop- culture media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:55 AM
142

Her relationship would cease to exist if she actually expected him to prioritize her sexual pleasure. I guarantee sex is the only "intimacy" she receives in this relationship. Women center their lives around men so much that we'd rather receive a trophy for being so "hot" it makes him ejaculate, than wise enough to have expectations about reciprocity🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:38 AM
149

I HATE feminine "odor" products that gaslight women into thinking they smell. Every facet our patriarchal society says women aren't enough! That we should hide, constrict, and minimize ourselves. We do not need Summer's Eve, Vagisil, etc. Just wash, dry, and never put lotions or fragrance down there. Never. All vaginas have a unique smell. Of course it shouldn't be rank or ripe smelling, but using an excess of products for "odor control" will give you odor! 😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:41 AM
13

Lol! I'm talking financially down on their luck. Everything else like character, emotional maturity, wisdom, empathy - always at their worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:42 PM
50

Thank you. I'm glad this comment wasn't, "men don't ReSpEcT women who like them at their worst"😂😂 As far as men are concerned, they will always be at their worst. So he'll cheat when he's down on his luck and when he's doing well. Men consider women sexual commodities to be bought,sold, abused, and exchanged for different "models". They feel deserving of women at ANY STAGE IN THEIR LIFE. Entitlement 101!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 01:00 PM
19

It's an instinctual urge, not a "nagging voice". Respect your opinions more! However, applaud yourself for seeing the red flags. Falling into old habits would've been living in denial. You're questioning his behavior! Separate your idea of him as a long-time friend from his current actions. As I've learned, a gay man can still hold misogynistic contempt for women and still expect her to take on all the responsibilities. Male socialization defies sexuality. Some would argue that misogyny is male …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:53 PM
8

I was surprised that a parent would willfully do something wrong and not care. Pair that with their fear (and the child's) of being an independent person. The abuse is less effective when the child holds the abusive parent accountable. Or when the child starts respecting themselves. That's how society treats women. Living in denial about men helps women avoid the emotional turmoil of being independent of men and men's thoughts, opinions, behavior, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:43 PM
31

Same. I have no desire to ever be pregnant or carry a biological child of my own. I know myself although I've toyed with the idea of adopting later in life. But I've considered the surgery. There's pushback in our patriarchal healthcare system plus the vulnerability of seeking medial care as a POC😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:33 PM
32

But who wants respect from a LVM abuser? Who cares what an abuser "respects"? He already showed his lack of respect by cheating/abusing!🤔 It's internalized misogyny to flip that narrative and assume women should desire the approval of a man that mistreats her. Or desire the approval of any man who abuses women because it makes her better than other women? Gives her an ego boost? Idk. Let's undo how society has taught us to value a man's opinion over our own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:13 PM
82

This shit worked when I was naive, never been kissed pickme🤡 The men who "aren't ready for a relationship" are the most OBVIOUS abusers. They have anxious attachment styles with a penchant for toxic power dymanics because they KNOW they're mediocre.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:21 PM
25

I'm saving to invest in my business too! My remote manager, a white-male in his 60s, likes to neg me then pretend like he was praising my work. He will ignore my questions, emails, because it's "self-explanatory". He even made a pass saying he'll come visit me for a lunch date without his wife!! I ended the meeting as quickly as possible. My current jobs are better than my last. And, I'm making more money. But it's still toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:35 PM
20

I used to love this sub because it lifted women's collective gender consciousness. Posts like this prove FDS is devolving. Of course women shouldn't repeatedly enter emotionally violent relationships and then seek advice in a rinse/repeat cycle. We can all agree that is unhealthy. However, there are a variety of women on this sub and not only are you pushing a lookism agenda, you equate your traditional idea of attractiveness with being a HVW. Beauty should be represented in all people, not just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:43 PM
24

You're right. It was definitely a neg. Men like him (large or small) hate themselves so they acquire "things" to exchange for attention (a job, car, money, looks, even traveling). Once he loses weight, he'll want a different woman. And once he siphons power and an ego boost from dating her, he'll find someone else who fills that same void. These people almost always have anxious attachment personality styles. They obsess over women who "keep the chase" going or "challenge" them by never returnin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 11:46 AM
6

He was gaslighting you to save himself from shame. Keep reminding yourself that he lied until you accept it. My ex weaponized mental health too. I used to treat those with mental health issues and grew up with two parents with personality disorders. You can have mental health problems and not be abusive. They should never use their condition as an excuse to abuse you. Hope that helps👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:45 PM
9

Ha! I didn't realize I replied to multiple comments of yours! But, manipulative people will falsely victimize themselves to garner sympathy and less criticism about their behavior. By mentioning that he's "never" been vulnerable, your ex implied that everything he does from that point is beyond reproach because it's the most vulnerable and the most he can offer. It's also tailored to your preferences. So if you have a soft spot for mental illness, he'll use that as an excuse. IME, people who saf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:29 PM
22

So he offered his card to see if you'd refuse?🤡 And what, pay with your money? Lol. $12 is gold-digging!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:07 PM
26

What helps is safeguarding whatever makes YOU vulnerable. That can be your time, romance, physical touch, transportation/lack thereof, or money. That helps you stay objective for longer. For me, I love non-sexual physical intimacy: hugs, holding hands, shoulder rubs, etc. So, I don't touch anyone that hasn't earned my trust. And if they try to touch me without consent, I'm out. Same for time. Working or spending a lot of time around people will make you feel closer than you truly are. So, I woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:59 PM
60

As a radical feminist, HV woman you cannot have friends that entertain men🙅. I learned that the hard way. It doesn't matter if they claim they've been friends with a LVM for years. Doesn't matter if they're coworkers either. I experienced everything you said! My only friend from college had a random guy she'd been talking to accompany us on our FIRST friend-date. Apparently it was a test to determine if I would try to "steal" him from her. Even though she didn't like him, she needed to know we w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:35 PM
120

As soon as the one who got away stays in a relationship with him, he'll start taking her for granted🙄 I've only seen abusive people do this. They like the toxic push/pull dynamic and are motivated by feelings of shame and abandonment. When you like who you are, you don't want relationships with people who don't want you. And men know they're fucked up🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 12:34 PM
236

It never ceases to amaze me how men are so irreparably brainwashed. Convincing men of women's humanity is like trying to get the billionaires in the top 1% to consider that sweatshop workers are deserving of the same food, shelter, wages, and happiness. Men will sexually assault you but call you controlling if you want a relationship or any type of emotional labor from them. My ex: assaults me Me: I don't think we should be dating. You act like you hate me. Him: You're controlling. I'm just tryi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:28 PM
9

Exactly. Conventionally attractive women and women not considered attractive suffer from the same oppressive stereotypes. The grass is not greener on the other side. Humanity is not given to beautiful women because it's not true humanity. It's a guise. The only benefits given to "pretty" women are man-made. Can I get equal access to healthcare? No. Does law enforcement take my reports seriously? No. ---- I get so frustrated trying to be friends with women who don't feel attractive and believe my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:08 PM
-5

If you say so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:47 PM
7

I don't understand why you mentioned a "tar baby". That phrase is incredibly racist and I'm not sure if you're American, but that doesn't need to be included in the post. The Black individuals here would appreciate if you fixed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:42 PM
6

This is why I do not believe that masturbation for men (in the modern era) is healthy🤷. Men are literally addicted to porn and masturbation so much that it impedes everyday activities. Who can't wait until a meeting is over to jack off? Guys even joke about needing to run to the toilet room to "stroke one out". That is not normal. And neither is giving a predator a public platform to brainwash society. Fucking vile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:44 PM
21

I hope you find true friends. We all want that💓 About being jealous, I avoid women who entertain men whether it be as a "friends" or otherwise. They tend to be the jealous types because they have no boundaries with men. They'll try to include men in conversations, flirt with guys, or engage in social activities with them. Any friend of an FDS woman needs to be like minded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:13 PM
12

Instagram influencing is the newest and arguably the most lucrative female dominated career field and yet women are still exploited for sex. Women making money pisses men off. So they'll find ways to cheapen female content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:34 PM
6

Confidence isn't the issue I'm trying to solve. Confidence wanes and can't help women in its absence. I advocate for resources that can be employed whether you feel confident or not. That is money, your own car, a gun, a taser, or fighting skills. I'd be lying if I said getting harassed everyday doesn't exhaust me. Despite taking classes and carrying a taser, I still avoid unnecessary interactions with men. And when I'm around pickme's, my behavior is policed and I notice I police myself! That's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:49 PM
147

Women's bodies are not revered, they are EXPLOITED. If they were revered we'd have, for starters, adequate healthcare. His post illustrates his depth of knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:08 PM
18

I carry myself fine. I am taking classes to protect myself. Women are victimized always. Men will try anything and do not care if you look like a victim or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:50 PM
48

We can't escape it. Even toy dolls have accompanying boyfriend's. I'm just going to be a radical feminist and enjoy my life. Ffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:35 PM
92

I HATE pickme's like that. They're self-loathing because they feel unattractive and it's every woman's fault why men don't pick them. They're women who victim blame rape survivors. They slut shame their own children. They keep their friends away from their romantic interests, or situations with a lot of men, because they think it's a competition. Doesn't matter what a woman does, it can always be exploited by men. I cringe at the amount of instagram influencers who are posting soft core porn or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:50 AM
120

Women need to learn self-protection because the patriarchy will not protect you! We are sexualized at young ages and blamed for the resulting trauma in our adulthood. I was slut shamed from age 7. Pickme's would criticize me for looking at men, regardless of if I was observing my surroundings. Because men are aroused by children (and later on by women who dare to put effort into their looks), anything I do is, by default, for male attention🙄 /s. That's how I became paralysed. I avoid men because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:35 AM
271

He wanted to humiliate her. To punish her for expecting better of him and to make her feel stupid for getting ready. 🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:59 AM
61

I'm 100% convinced that men who abuse women, gaslight women, and refuse to respect women as human beings are, in fact, homosexual. There's obviously no problem with being a gay male. But men's homoerotic fantasies are proof that they respect/love men🤷. They have a bro code that supports rape culture and enthusiastically disparage women to bond with men. If you like men, just date men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:35 AM
3

Ohh😌 Your ex husband is horrible...But I hate that you describe yourself that way. We all have cool, beautiful, and redeeming qualities. Doesn't matter if you're conventionally attractive, the same oppressive rules apply to everyone. Think of Khloe Kardashian and how she made a video to prove what her body looked like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:09 PM
135

Exactly. And he is emotionally abusive himself. Why would he touch you when you said no? This man may have treated OP the best out of all her other exes. But he's no HVM. He failed you OP💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:23 PM
3

Of course. Plus she feels pressured to assure him with apologies and polite language that he's not a murderer. If she's not comfortable going to his apartment, she has no clue if he's a murderer or not because she barely knows him🙅 "Sorry" is no longer in my vocabulary. As soon as a man suggests I visit his apartment before I want to, I am blocking/deleting. The audacity is a red flag🚩 We should NOT respond to messages like this. A boundary sounds like, "that doesn't work for me". End of story. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:21 AM
108

At this point, I've stopped talking with my mother about men😭 Unfortunately for some of us, our mother's behavior landed us here. A lot of older women have an innate fear or disappointing men; having boundaries and standards that might "turn them off" or leave us unmarried. Just the other day my mother called me entitled for having boundaries with men. Who gives a damn?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:25 AM
84

I hope flexing that energy doesn't mean we explain that we won't accept that type of behavior. We just walk, block/delete🤷 Men like that are a lost cause. There's no point in trying to get him to respect women if he's hellbent on not doing so. I'm not willing to expend that much emotional labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:10 AM
282

And there are racial undertones in this. Black men seem to think Black women are their comeuppance. They're so occupied with buying into white society through respectability politics, that women are considered a means to an end. Men are opportunists. They created patriarchy, but cry when they're held to the standard they created🙄. Cry me a river.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:36 PM
35

Literal rape. She probably was inebriated, high, or had a mental health crisis. Doesn't matter. But him and his friends raped that woman. Men will tell a sugarcoated lie to gauge your reaction. If you stay with them, they'll either give more details or pretend it wasn't a big deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 10:03 PM
75

Yeah sis, they gang-raped her. He sugarcoated what happened so you wouldn't leave or be alarmed. I met a man who traveled a lot and swore he didn't exploit prostitutes in the Netherlands red light district🙄. My ex also had a habit of assaulting women on dates(me included). When asked why his other dating situations didn't work out, he said "those women didn't like me touching them. A good relationship needs touch"😐😐. Truth is hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:13 PM
101

Girl. That has to be a lie too. A woman 15 years older than them, who's not a prostitute or a trafficked woman, willingly fellated and had sex with them🤔. I really doubt it. Sounds like a porn scene.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:46 PM
26

I got 9 off the board!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:39 PM
91

Gang-rape or paying a prostitute? Both are rape though. Men have no moral compass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:37 PM
78

That experience IS her birth control. Lol... Noo...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:33 PM
44

I. AM. CACKLING!!! 😂😂😂. No he didn't! Lmfao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:31 PM
67

I never faked one either😭. TMI, but I distinctly remember laying there and thinking "Should I moan now? I don't like it. I wish he'd get off me". But, I would've never enjoyed sex anyway because he was a deplorable person. I barely enjoyed having a conversation with him. This is so sad😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:24 PM
217

She moaned 3 times😂😂 IF she had orgasmed 3 times, I doubt she'd say that. He most likely ignored foreplay. And I bet sex isn't their only issue. You cannot enjoy sex with someone who mistreats you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:20 PM
38

Yep! First time for me was technically 9 years old. Another 9 year old boy whose brother told him to reach in my pants and grab me. I didn't realize it was sexual assault until I was 22. For my friend it was 13, when she went to the movies and boy coerced her to put her mouth on his penis. For my mom it was 13, when she was raped by her friend's brother - a 23 year old man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:43 PM
53

Their attention is worthless. A man once told me that he'd "never get tired of looking at me". Apparently, that was supposed to be a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:36 PM
92

Denying men sex is a political move because we are sexual commodities. Just like global industries loosen regulations to exploit workers, our society uses pop culture to remove regulations for men's access to women. We've been used to boost labor, industries, and profits. From the early 1900s prostitutes brought to Mississippi Parchman Prison (a former slave plantation) and to 1930s Japanese Comfort Women used in World War II. We are supposed to help men succeed regardless of the cost to our hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:28 PM
7

You're exactly right. He was negging you, bullying you, and weaponized teasing against you. People can sense what insecurities people have because everyone has them🤷. Men who want to abuse will metaphorically rip your wounds open. The only way they gain control is by making you ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious. If you have childhood abandonment issues, he will stonewall you. If you think you're unattractive, he'll tease about your body/face. If you have sexual trauma or even a desire for sex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:35 AM
82

Wtf is that last post😂. He needs women to vouch for his good character, kind ways, and all around lovable personality🤡. That has to be the most self-centered statement. This man has nothing but disdain for women. He truly believes our bodies and health don't matter. IUD's and birth control give women all sorts of side-effects. But ladies, it's a wonderful tradeoff so he can have "unlimited protected sex". Cue the violins!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:38 PM
23

Ugh I know! I love memes just like the next person, but I avoid guys who use it too much. Premature teasing is a way to force intimacy. To make you feel closer to him than you actually are. Your ex didn't stop because he wanted to embarrass you. And when people overdo it, they're compensating for the lack of emotional connection. Meaning the relationship has no substance. Everyone has mannerisms and habits. We don't need to make comments about them all the time. Treat others how you like to be t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 07:42 PM
60

Some behaviors are nuanced while others are not. Situation #1: You tell a guy it's not working out. He sends 3 messages in a row trying to convince you to stay🚩 Situation #2: A guy negged you so you didn't respond. He sends 3 messages in a row🚩 Situation #3: You're texting back and forth about idk, lizards. And he sends 3 enthusiastic messages. Not a red flag. Plenty of people do that if they forgot something or are happy. Any behavior when used to manipulate or abuse, is a red flag. My ex used …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:07 PM
42

It's harder to avoid in a work setting. I have a male supervisor and a male colleague who continuously neg me! I work remote, so it's "bearable"🙄. But when we're in meetings, they are irritated because I refuse to acknowledge their abusive behavior. They end up asking me how I feel (like they care) and telling me how good my work is. I'll never rationalize the irrational, but their behavior is foreign to me. How can you think you're a decent person and treat people like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:40 PM
37

I saved your comment! You perfectly described every codependent, abusive man on this Earth😐 My parents and my ex (no surprise) are just like this. They never change. They don't mind raping you, gaslighting you, or abusing you. But they will mind if you make them feel bad about it. All the more reason to leave at the FIRST red flag. Any type of contempt, disregard, or aloof behavior foreshadows abuse. For example, seemingly benign things like (1) ignoring that you're cold, (2) not stopping when y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:33 PM
266

In an ideal world, we'd have all the love we need. We'd have Eros, Philia, Ludus, Storge, Philautia, Pragma, and Agápe. The truth about men's behavior and the condition of our world is a heavy burden. Ignorance is bliss. There are studies that explain why people twist their reality so it's not disappointing. The women in this sub do not have that privilege. But, I do believe love is easy. At least it should be. If loving someone is hard, it's not love. You cannot love everyone and everyone isn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:25 AM
41

Hahaha..😂 Marrying a LVM isn't for me because I've worked too hard for my money and I'm not having kids. But if I start dating again, I'm dating for a respectful companionship that meets my standards and uplifts my life. I have expectations and boundaries. Why the hell would I "just enjoy the journey"🤔🤔.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:03 PM
44

The way they talk about marriage is a huge red flag🚩 He sounds like an emotionally abusive LVM. And she sounds like a miserable pickme that can do wayyy better. By better I mean living a happy single life. Why would you attempt to convince a LVM with "if you love me" statements when you could ditch his ass. Wtf😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:23 AM
156

Men are opportunists😑 Think of all the women that stay in miserable relationships because they are working poor with no savings/emergency fund. But this LVM makes a comfortable single person salary of $100k and won't leave because he wants power that can be maintained after reaping the benefits of his more successful girlfriend🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 05:18 AM
3

Yes, basically. It's a domestic violence term that describes a victim that lashes out (emotionally or physically) towards an abuser. Abusers use it as proof that the victim is also abusive. This motivates them to continue abusing. I've spoken to women who believe this and put the blame on the victim, as if abused women should be reactionless. Out of all the abuse I experienced with my ex, I got argumentative once and he used it as justification that I was the problem. Whoever started it s the pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:06 PM
66

Male violence is politically and culturally sanctioned. It's systemic because there are no checks and balances for men's behavior. You can be prime minister or president and also be a rapist. You can be a state senator and use government funds to traffic girls. There are little to no laws that completely penalize workplace sexual harassment. What about coercion rape that isn't considered "actual rape" because too many men have coerced women making the claim baseless in court?🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:21 AM
230

Right. Porn has multiple ethics and human rights violations because the majority (if not all) has been curated from human trafficking, revenge porn, blackmail, abuse, and rape. Women are the kink victims he so desperately needs for his sExUAl hEalTH. You cannot watch porn everyday and be sane. If you are aroused by violence and rely on seeing women in compromising situations, that is a disordered addiction. Porn makes you sexualize everything and everyone because it's mostly children and teens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:03 AM
137

I'm scared for her. She may end up with irreversible STD's, trauma, or death. Sex with men is nothing to take lightly. What she needs is space and/or a therapist (if the therapist won't retraumatize her). And, there's no safe way to meet men. She thinks ghosting is singularly characteristic of OLD, but it's not. I wonder if her ex long-time boyfriend still lives in the same city and she needs to prove that she's moved on😐. It's all a recipe for disaster. Hookups are a cry for help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:46 AM
69

I experienced something similar but at 6 years old when I found a man masturbating in the children's section of the library. Absolutely nothing was done about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:29 AM
75

They're in serious denial. Imagine having 10 years to recover and level up, only to cave when the LVM calls you on your 30th birthday? That decade was her way out!🤔 I've met too many born again Christians who found god after abusing every woman in their life. These guys always want a "pure" wife who isn't angry, bitter, or skeptical towards men. The craziest story I've heard was from a woman in my church who met a man "that god destined for her", but he was living in sin and in love with another…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:55 PM
172

Exactly! I cringe when pickmes believe they got a ring because they're a cool girl who's "great" in bed. No sis. He proposed because he's tired, wants someone to take care of him, and you were the closest and most willing participant😂 I grew up with conservative men who announced they were looking for a wife without actually dating! My ex (not conservative) told me once he got a job, an apartment, and a car, that the next thing he "needed" was a girl🤔.....🤡 Easy pass on marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:18 PM
119

It's a ploy to keep women in relationships. If her personhood isn't wrapped up in her boyfriend, she will think for herself and have separate interests that don't involve him😱. The horror!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:32 AM
60

I grew up poor, got meals from food banks, and stacked my mattress on plastic slats - so I get it. This post isn't really about broke men. It's an implicit way to shame women for denying men access to their bodies. Men's needs come first in society, so the media is outraged that women would reject men like this. If someone doesn't want you, that's their choice🤷. Men are so entitled they've become sociopaths that seek revenge when rejected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:16 AM
90

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how women have been brainwashed into thinking that choosing not to have sex with men, threatens men🤔🤔 How dare a woman "lose interest". He's certainly not worried about her not liking his personality💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:00 AM
124

You made a great point!💡 It's scary how many women vastly underestimate the contempt men have for us. Misogyny is engrained into every facet of our society, from food to politics. There are parallels with men who claim "false rape allegations" ruin a man's career. Rape allegations rarely affect an attractive, wealthy man's career. How many predators are in Hollywood? In government? Running billion-dollar industries? Women have never loved assholes, it's called trauma. Men are so entitled. If the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:46 AM
39

💀 Oedipus would love this..lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:46 PM
27

All the libfems and pickmes I've encountered tell me I'm "too harsh on men and give women passes"🤔. They willingly hate on other women for things like "reactive abuse". But when I highlight the prevalence of coercion rape, sexual assault, and emotional abuse, suddenly I need to watch what I say. They're scared of men retaliating or not being seen as the woman that gives second chances. That's proof enough! I understand that some women are abusers, plenty of our mothers and friends are. But men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:52 PM
105

Someone go get Lisa! She's damn right✊ In a moment of shame, my mother retold how after giving birth and ripping from vagina to anus, that my LVM dad made her clean because she "left the house dirty". I know more women whose stories are similar. Let alone the burden of financial abuse. Currently, women's socioeconomic status is better, but not ideal. Men still have higher earning power. Women still bear the brunt of unpaid labor. Marriage and kids are not for me🙅 But the women who want that need…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:40 PM
90

Actually, yes I agree! If I start dating, I won't allow touch like hugging, holding hands, kissing, etc. for quite a while. 3 months is a VERY short time. And you can't possibly vet someone enough to be having sex, heavy petting, or whatever else. Although it's a great way to weed out abusers, it's never fool proof🤷. You can't rely on this method to guarantee decent men. You may not like their kissing, their breath, or the way they smell. LVM will play the long-game and leverage your emotional c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:54 PM
261

He keeps using "we" like she wasn't coerced into rape, BDSM bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:43 AM
124

Perhaps because women are oppressed and the world's wealth is reserved for men's pockets?? In Western society, women make 0.81 cents to a man's $1.00🤷 Despite this, women are still responsible for more labor, both paid and unpaid. They're the doctors, the ones mining, in piss-poor sweatshops, farming, etc. Men consider any woman a golddigger if she refuses to tolerate disrespect. We're supposed to provide unlimited access to our bodies for what? - 3 consistent dinner dates? Fuck off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:38 AM
512

When men talk about sExUAL cOmpAtiBiLity, it's always done to bully women into sexual acts. We're supposed to barter our body in exchange for a relationship; use our sex in the hopes that it will be "satisfactory" enough for respect. Men will ejaculate into socks and tree trunks, so I call shit when such men claim women can't satisfy them🙄. For decent people, sexual compatibility is about general compatibility. Men who are negligent, will never be compatible partners for sex, housework, finances…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 07:15 AM
199

Exactly!! This is why it's damaging when pickme's claim that certain abuses would never happen to them. LVM target all women. Over time they observe you and look for vulnerabilities. They are shit testing from day 1. They play the long game and will wear you down. Don't make the mistake of blabbering about your standards. If you feel the urge to, stop dating because you're anxious and abusers love anxious women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:23 PM
114

Men and pickmes gaslight women into believing that she'll "lose a good man" if she leaves or that she'll never find someone who respects her. We're supposed to be grateful for less than bare minimum treatment. It's important that we know why we're leaving. It doesn't help to leave in an effort to make him "behave". Or not block/delete when we leave. Men will hover for years trying to siphon emotional labor from you. The first time you leave is the last time! They always come crawling back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:51 PM
71

Men know that they're privileged. Having the agency and ability to say 'no' is a privilege in patriarchal society. That's why men deny women agency over their own bodies, because when you're in control you have power. And if if men can't control women, they have no power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:23 AM
152

He wants big muscles to scare women. He told on himself😑 Sounds like a rapist to me🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:14 PM
130

His "boundaries" are coercive rape and blowjobs. At this point, men's entitlement is a legitimate personality disorder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 08:04 PM
25

"Men who don't personally abuse anyone"... that we know of😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:57 PM
24

As a colored person, I trust no doctors. I was a virgin until my 22nd birthday and no female specialists believed me. 🙄That shit is so annoying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:28 AM
88

TikTok has popularized a song that literally says, "Stop/ Now let your homeboy hit it"; Pateezy - Beat It That is glorified gang rape romanticized as a catchy tune that men bond over. Not to mention the new song ( Busta Rhymes - Touch It) about a man assaulting a woman in a club. All men for sure😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:51 PM
191

Sis, now that you mention it, that whole paragraph sounds like she wrote it. He just parroted what she said to appear woke. 🐊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:42 PM
59

She can forget having a family if she stays with him. Men masturbate to women's naked pictures, share them with other men, and humilate/degrade/classify women into non-human "nudes". There's no humanity associated with what men call "nudes". That's her husband. OP needs help🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:38 PM
42

And the "change" is just getting to know them. The longer you're with someone, the more you discover. If he's suddenly selfish, there was at least 1 red flag. I can't imagine being a woman, as disenfranchised as I am, and choosing to get married🙅. A romantic life companion would be wonderful. But men are overwhelmingly disappointing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:26 PM
214

Men refuse to offer respect in relationships, so everything else (marriage, money, and sex) are diversions. If you can't maintain a woman's interest by respecting her, then of course you'd be afraid of "golddiggers"😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:17 PM
455

If she goes back to him, guess what he'll do? Repeat his past behavior🤡 Men cry crocodile tears. She was a prop that served his needs. Now that she's gone, he's forced to provide for himself. He's grieving a life of leisure, not her. If people don't appreciate what they have the first time it's offered, they never will. Women that attempt to entertain men who've "learned their lesson" will soon discover that his progress is dependent on you keeping him accountable. The push/pull dynamic is for t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:05 PM
23

I've seen her videos before. Is she the one that posted about white blonde women getting picked the most?🤔 Why does she want to be with a racist that fetshizes her as the exotic Asian girlfriend? He's othering her and triangulating her with women he's genuinely attracted to. Everyone has preferences. I wouldn't date a man who didn't have a preference for me, nor would I date a man who wasn't my preference. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:01 PM
15

Right! Can someone say emotional incest🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 04:44 PM
103

I hated the scene because women do NOT rape as often as men. Statistics speak for themselves. Every scene when the handmaids got raped was disgusting. But the scene where she rapes Luke seems like a libfem move to prove that "women do it too"🙄. The only likeable character's on The Handmaids Tale, are the handmaids! I don't watch shows with male leads and here they go making her do this when it's not even in books (or so I believe).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:27 PM
13

You know, I knew a guy who abused his cat. I bet he strangled them too. That's why I call shit when people think men with cats respect boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:33 AM
153

He basically told you everything he would eventually do🤢. Men are sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:24 AM
136

C'mon. We all know they're lying. Men know. Denying emotional abuse is part of the abuse! It's gaslighting. I'll also argue that emotional abuse doesn't correlate with other beliefs about men (i.e men aren't "emotional"). So they can't possibly understand emotional abuse seeing as they're not emotional /s🙄 Society defines aggression by the way men have been taught to display it (i.e. fighting, punching walls). And women who are still in the dark, only recognize physical abuse red flags because i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:21 AM
16

I don't know who posted the first comment, but hobbies, experiences, and a career do not make you a HVM. I wish respect for women, minorities, and social justice issues were the defining factor of a HVM. Plenty of men have "hobbies", and? Have hobbies for yourself. That alone doesn't attract women🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:08 PM
4

My boss. Literally. Negged me from the interview and continues to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:03 PM
70

When we say "all men", we aren't only referencing rape. All men, benefit from patriarchy. All men, benefit from women's oppression. All men, know an abuser, rapist, assaulter or are one themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:09 PM
66

They never get better. They want more experience with women to control relationships and learn tactics that ensure their needs are always met. Men will always get worse. The majority of them start with what I call "messy" abuse, because it only targets women with certain mindsets. But as they get more experience, they'll get more sinister🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:18 PM
15

❎Trigger Warning❎ I hated how everyone cried over that man. He pushed a teenager against the wall and raped her from behind (read her statement). She was staff at a hotel he stayed at. When the media found out, he gifted his wife a multi-million dollar diamond so she wouldn't divorce him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:20 AM
12

And they know what they're doing when they offer to pick you up. Abusers create the illusion of trust. The saying goes if you cheat, you'll steal. And if you steal, you'll murder. So a man who harasses you, or coerces you, or assaults you is akin to a rapist. And once he's a rapist, he will forever be one. We can never forget that💡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:17 AM
9

Another fucking brilliant comment. How can they consent when the majority of prostitutes, engage in sexual acts as a survival tactic?🤔 That includes trafficked women, women in impoverished areas/countries, and disproportionately minority women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:13 AM
10

I caved only to make myself feel like I was in control Damn. That's why I used to have trouble calling what my ex did coercive rape. I reluctantly said "okay" because he previously told me "he can't wait that long"🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡.. So, yes. They'll be decent for a while until they're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:09 AM
6

This is brilliant. Spot on!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:04 AM
43

Yes! Look for pushy behavior that's not sexual. Coercing you to walk long distances after a date. Shaming you for not revealing personal information. To add, I had a movie date with a guy I'd been seeing for a while. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but didn't because the positioning was uncomfortable. This LVM rapist to-be, kept pressing my head down as I repeatedly said I didn't want to sit like that🙅 Big red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:06 PM
16

Jay-Z is 12 years older than her! 12! And she was in her early twenties when she started dating him. It's a typical age-gap relationship with clear power imbalances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:55 PM
55

Libfem logic forces women to be comfortable being assembly line humans with generic needs🙄. In their eyes, a man doesn't need to acknowledge who you are as a person or understand the complexities of your personhood. All he needs to do is pick bare minimum gestures from a multiple choice list. If we don't swoon because a man cleaned, then they'll whine that men aren't mindreaders. Men endlessly find ways to avoid treating women as people with varying interests, needs, and desires😑😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:37 PM
45

We want the same political rights, but you don't want to be as callous and entitled as men are. So many of them are depressed, self-loathing, rapists. They're allowed to have boundaries because society, en masse, respects them. They're not coerced and shamed for saying no. I'm glad I'm not a sociopathic abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:27 PM
26

💀💀💀 Oooph... The TRUTH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:40 PM
83

Beyonce had a song that claimed independent women go 50/50 in relationships🙄; Destiny's Child - Independent Woman. It's stupid how pop culture/society convinces women that LV partners should still receive the benefits of someone who actually respects you. And, that they push this narrative knowing damn well women have less earning power because our skill-set isn't valued like men's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:59 PM
83

A lib feminist said that "a woman's orgasm is not her partner's responsibility"🤡🤡 That we should "already know what we like and let him know". Oh but his orgasm will forever be our responsibility🤔 2+2=7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:43 PM
379

And if a woman doesn't lower her standards, he'll die alone. Classic projection😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:26 AM
34

Honestly, who cares? If a man has to defend affirmative consent, it's safe to say the woman in question did NOT consent. And they're not proving their "innocence". They are defending themselves as "not guilty".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:22 AM
110

95% of men could be prosecuted under this law. It's fucking vile how women have been gaslit into believing that either going to a man's house, kissing him, or staying silent as he attempts to rape you is consent. We need to change the narrative because pickmes and rapists tell women they should know "what to expect" when entering a man's house or the classic, "you didn't say no" bullshit. With that logic, showing up for a first date is consent. WTF. I. Am. Done.🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 07:18 AM
22

OP, start with respecting yourself. Respect your opinions/perspective. Respect you mind/body/ soul and strive for peace. Respect yourself enough to know you deserve all that you want. Love can be a tricky concept because you don't always love your actions or the decisions you've made. But respect is about the WHOLE package, your character, and what motivates you😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:56 PM
313

That's too low, even for pickmes🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:52 PM
22

Having feelings and being lonely isn't the issue. Acting upon your impulses in ways that harm you is a problem. Meaning when you're past the pickme naivety stage and still don't care that you overly prioritize men, then it becomes an issue, loneliness or not. Safe to say I think you have nothing to worry about. But I agree. I was angry about being abused, but also angry that I was ignorant to men and how often they sexual abuse and psychologically torment women. It's sinister. I refuse to believ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:43 AM
5

Channeling Regina, "So you agree? You know you're a pickme"😂 How can you call someone a friend and insult them infront of others? As if men don't know what pickmes are and won't capitalize on that insecurity😌. In her defense, the guys would've left anyway, regardless if she slept with them on week 3, month 3, or year 3. She must've felt that sex with scrotes was "liberating". She didn't deserve you🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:35 AM
9

Make sure your friends make plans for you. Don't do ALL the lifting. You deserve someone who cares too💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:25 AM
14

Those entrepreneurs are usually libfem "boss babes" who don't know the meaning of feminism. I
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:23 AM
59

Facts. Pickmes and toxic friends are the worst🙅. They value relationships with men more than relationships with women. It makes no sense to me. And they're the type that mate guards and is jealous of every women she thinks her LVM likes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:16 AM
5

Aww, just pick yourself back up. What you wanted was for him to acknowledge how he treated you. You were hoping for an apology, not comments about his car😐 Block his number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:55 PM
10

Right, because you're not just getting over the person, you have to heal from the trauma that undoubtedly triggered other issues. Nearly 3 years later, I am stronger. But I'll never forget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:24 PM
24

Exactly!!💡💡 Men don't accept that women are self-actualized human beings because self-actualization is an expression of humanity. (1) Lack of access of healthcare, employment, and education for women in both the global north and global south - dehumanization. (2) Sex trafficking, making women sex objects through media, sexual abuse, reproductive coercion, forced domestic labor - dehumanization because it defines women's sexuality in terms of women's usefulness to men. No agency required to be a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:53 AM
47

I had an abusive relationship that lasted less than a year, but my healing time was about 2 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:19 AM
117

Women's socialization makes it harder for us to cope in male dominated societies after childhood. I learned to prioritize myself in my mid 20s, men have been doing that their entire lives albeit abusively, but still doing it. I don't know one woman who was happier after she started a relationship or got married. Being picked has the same endorphin response as eating chocolate 🍫; happiness is short lived.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 10:17 AM
154

Most "false rape allegations" are women shamed into retracting her report. Ultimately forced into silence. Men who don't rape, don't talk about false rape accusations. Sad truth is that the majority of them do, so they're scrambling for ways to gaslight women🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:21 PM
30

There's a very attractive man on IG who has posted some anti-racist and anti-sexist content. He was suggested in my feed after feminists posts, so I was intrigued. Although the man is gorgeous, green flag bait can turn insidious in the blink of an eye. I don't know him in real life. He could post that content and do the exact opposite. Take what men say with a grain of salt🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:07 PM
5

Yeah I have - the tartan skirts, knee high socks, blushing cheeks. I was thinking the child standard exception applies because of height. So it can also be marketable for Eastern Asian women. But I'm not sure if it carries the same weight in Western society if it's not a beauty standard, but solely a fetish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:38 PM
6

Yeah I think so. Certain white men fetishize ethnic women that look more white than ethnic. And the women are usually on the thin side. Also consider European featurism, skin color, and hair texture. Western society equates thinness with higher socioeconomic status considering our obesity rates are sky-high; and those with more money have more access to wellness resources and healthcare. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but western society normalized child brides. With the emergence o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:01 PM
23

Encouraging women to be responsible for the emotional labor of male matches seems on par with what the app symbolizes. Male behavior has NO nuance. It's either right or wrong. All this fear over "shaming" and making people feel bad as if they shouldn't feel bad🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:59 AM
7

Me too! I've longed for companionship, but marrying a man and having his kids has always been a hard, no👎. Nothing about domestic labor intrigued me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:53 AM
5

My mother thinks the same way. After a certain while they can't be helped. They're in so much denial and cognitive dissonance that they fear holding men accountable for mistreatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:46 AM
9

Pseudo woke men complain about gendered messaging like that, but turn around and use the bumbling idiot stereotype when it benefits them in romantic relationships. Like, pick a struggle🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:43 AM
21

I don't understand why so many women romanticize marriage. You're basically signing up to disproportionately bear the cognitive labor. Let alone the physical and emotional labor. Everyone wants companionship, but the means don't justify the ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:37 AM
152

Men NEVER expect to parent their children. Men won't even do their share of labor in marriage, let alone with multiple women. Men need to stop skirting by with no consequences, but I wish women wouldn't have their children. They're literally going to be saddled with this man for decades🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:03 AM
12

Quest hotline was so popular back in the day😅. Ads used to pop up exactly at 12:00 AM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:47 AM
91

Because it's a good indicator of your self-esteem and boundaries. My dad fetishizes obese women particularly because he thinks they have low self-esteem. He thinks smaller women are stuck up😂. It's about power and control. When I am dressed up and also happen to be around men, I get negged more. Women are insecure for no reason. Men are insecure for a host of valid reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:38 AM
29

My ex would neg me for being attractive. He told me he wanted me to dress more revealing and didn't like when I looked nice. Problem is that's most days I leave the house🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:34 AM
2

I guarantee that he coerces women for sex in other ways. Men like this will move heaven and Earth to make sure you feel indebted to them. If they only respect men, have sex with men🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:28 AM
14

I loathe how men liken themselves to lions. The one aspect of the animal kingdom they wish reflected their reality. The matriarchs in hyena clans have always been QUEENS 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:42 PM
143

"Life begins at erection"... Spat out my food!😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:19 PM
154

To add, the obsession with thin women is a link to pedophilia. Women gain weight as they age. That is exacerbated with childbirth, puberty, and even birth control. Weight and body image can be deconstructed by race and class-- but when men wanted thin (white) women, society was forced to consume media with thin, childlike white women. When men popularized fetshizing minority women (Latinx, African diasporic, Southern Asian), suddenly a size 0 wasn't attractive anymore. And now we have injections…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:10 PM
29

That is what I'm saying😭. Doing this shit when you look nice is hell. I'm so done with men and the male gaze and having to scan my surroundings constantly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:47 PM
22

He was probably thinking it. But about the gun, I'm honestly considering it. The guy in question was eyeing me, so I'd feel safer if I had something. I'm looking for a taser in the meantime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:46 PM
31

Right! I'm still saying, "Honestly? Me too". Having no affection is lonely. We are learning not to act upon our loneliness, but rather self-preservation. I'm sure if hugs didn't morph into sexual assault or women weren't conditioned to only give and never receive, life conditions would be much better💡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:45 PM
11

Haha! This comment took a turn😅 More power to you, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:13 PM
18

Came here to say this. That is not being "mean". It's setting a boundary😐. If a woman is anything but subservient, docile, and welcoming, she's "mean". FFS. And, men who appear to love women who are "a challenge" are LVM for sure. Negative attention is still attention. He'll wait until he has the upper hand but in the meantime will praise you for "dealing with his bullshit". Pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:05 PM
15

Sounds like OP has trauma and other related issues going on. She is not ready for this yet. Raising your standards necessitates that we not only scrutinize the relationship we have with men, but the relationship we've had with ourselves and our family. You can't improve one without improving the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:53 PM
110

Proves that (1) men seek different opportunities that make them feel superior and (2) don't consider women to be humans, but to be tokens. It's crazy to me how we live in such close contact with men, but exist to two distinctly different worlds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:28 PM
123

Women are raised to believe that seeking affection and attention is selfish. In fact, the basis of "femininity" is being the caretaker, emotional support, and nurturer. We are responsible for the well-being of everyone else, but ourselves🤔. Our humanity has been stripped from us. If we want attention, like every other living being, we're "attention whores". A lot of women I encountered growing up, look starved for affection. They're lonely. It's why every woman was once a pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 01:19 PM
4

People who are actually highly sensitive with anxiety, don't shout it from the rooftops. Abusers who want to leverage your sympathy will make their "issues" known every second of every day. My ex conveniently had depression when I wanted to be respected. Always walking on eggshells around his "depression". In the time I dated him, I never, not once, told him what I was dealing with🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:41 PM
28

Am I the only one that can't unsee the lace front he wore in Diary Of A Mad Black Woman"?😅 Orlando!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:56 AM
154

Thanks for posting. But as an aside😎, it can be harmful to think of women's labor as either "girlfriend duties" or "wife duties". Vetting is continuous. Men are not granted privileges when the relationship shifts from exclusive, to committed, to engaged, to married. He doesn't get more access to you by changing your label. Only his behavior determines that. I understand the sentiment, but men need to earn your affection with consistent respect and care. He's rewarded with you. Not your cooking. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:48 AM
163

Years ago, women were required to take their husbands last name because her wealth became his wealth by marriage. And, if a son was born, he inherits what his father has by last name legacy. Researching women's history and their influence on the world is incredibly difficult because men receive more recognition. Their stories are disproportionately recorded. Female historical figures are married off and their names change constantly. So, no I wouldn't change my name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 02:38 AM
3

Can't argue with you there. I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:24 AM
23

Men are actual pedophiles. When I was a teenager into my early twenties, men flocked to me and other women my age. I'm older now and see men going after teens. It really is disgusting. My ex, a grown ass man, used to ogle the girls who wear the super short-shorts with huge T-Shirts (the ones that make it look like they're not wearing pants). Girls should wear what they want, but it's only girls I've seen wearing it. And that's not the only thing I've witnessed men do🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:53 PM
1

They do. But men you meet in person will keep up the pretense for however long it takes to "get the girl". Men won't risk the benefits of a social circle. At least until he's sure the woman won't leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:11 PM
2

There was a segment where she mentioned that he showed her his exes and she thought they were attractive. Why would he attempt to compare her to his exes? It clearly made her uncomfortable, but she tried to "cool girl" her way out of it. She honestly deserves better if that's what he's doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:07 PM
5

I knew a guy who'd always walk away or get irritated if I was talking about male depravity. We had a mutual friend and my conversation was with her. Anyway, he'd get super offended. Turns out he was doing the exact same thing. It took months to figure out, but the guy was assaulting people. Everyone thought he was a "gentleman", but not after this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:01 PM
9

This explains one of the reasons I won't date men I meet in person. The guy you liked had the audacity to ghost you. Then complains to your friend that you weren't responding🙄 Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:49 AM
14

I saved your comment! I love this explanation. Convenient unavailability is strategy to create anxiety around all areas of need in a relationship💡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:02 AM
9

Right🤢 Didn't she attend Jeffery Epstein's parties? Where he trafficked children? She can see herself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:51 AM
14

One of my previous male managers did this for 3 straight years after I left. He sexually harassed me and kept telling me he bought me birthday gifts. Texts just like this🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:31 PM
87

Right, it's not just men. It's friends. Family. Coworkers. If not literally, block/delete metaphorically. You cannot control whether people respect you or not. Read that again. There's nothing you can change to increase your worth in their eyes. Impressing them won't work. Withdrawing in a toxic push/pull dynamic will NOT make them want you more. Nor will filling your life with seemingly high value things like traveling, friends, or a social life convince them of your worth. Let go of your ego a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 09:25 PM
21

You should speak with him for a considerable amount of time until you feel comfortable going on a date. Obviously not every waking minute, but have consistent video calls/phone calls before a first date. And I intentionally did not include texting. If you barely know him, he'll do all of the above: mansplain, walk too fast, be inappropriate. I prefer afternoon lunch dates at reputable restaurants. I don't accept dinner because I don't go out in the evening🤷. That's a boundary for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:50 PM
59

No, you don't verbally state your boundaries. What decent person treats people however they want UNTIL that persons "explains" their boundaries? TBH, it sounds like she might've drank the male logic Kool Aid. We demonstrate our boundaries exclusively with actions. Men who are interested in us give us all they can offer. Not a portion. ALL. You determine if you want him based on what he offers. For example, if a man offers a date that's unacceptable to your standards do you tell him what you expe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:05 PM
38

By saying it depends on what you're looking for, he's putting the blame on women. If women go the bar looking for a hookup, then apparently it's her fault for being raped. If she's looking for casual, then it's her fault if he assaults her. I don't care if she's trying to find Nemo, THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR RAPE OR ASSAULT. No justification for alcohol coercion. Bunch of fuckin idiots!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:36 PM
120

Same! TYT used to be my go-to news channel. But I stopped once Ana and Cenk said that the woman who was assaulted by Aziz Ansari "just had a bad date"🙄. No mention of coercion. No mention of trauma. They claimed she wasn't credible because she mentioned that she preferred red wine instead of white wine. When people are traumatized, they jumble their story and forget important parts!!😐 I also HATE how Ana talks about being married. Being married doesn't make you a "better" woman. She talks about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:28 PM
45

OP, don't post your location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:39 AM
81

It. Is. Projection. Men believe if women had control, they'd abuse and become gOlDiGgers🤔 White society fearmongers about colored people. We have "Africanized" bees. Covid-19 was blamed on Asian people and look at the racism that sprung from that. Literal hate crimes left and right. People in power fear retaliation from the populations they oppress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:36 AM
202

Exactly. And you know his ass did that on purpose. He was abusive in a way that she'd only understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:27 AM
233

I don't understand being a pickme that is jealous of other women or makes fun of them. All my pickmeism was internal and hurt only me. I wasn't laughing at men abusing other women. Wtf? Can pickmes stoop any lower🤦 Who brags about a man putting you on all fours and cumming inside you?.. Sis, shut the fuck up🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:24 AM
42

LMFAO💀💀 Why is this true? All abusers are like this. They have serious personality disorders because I feel bad when I talk over people😩. These fuckwits are literally emotionally abusing people. Imagine the audacity😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:16 AM
52

Men and women are socialized differently💡Men complaining about having kids IS NOT the same as women regretting having kids. Mothers are burdened with child-rearing (literally). She has the baby. Recovers from tearing, blood loss, and likely has to deal with incontinence. On top of that, she's forced to clean, teach, and manage a home without ANY help. The vast majority of men do not contribute their fair share of labor. Men regret having less access to women and power. They're avoiding responsib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:10 AM
131

Growing up, all married women looked miserable to me. I'm not having children or getting married and I'm content with that decision. I identified most with the criticism of work quizzes. I don't think it's possible for women to have fulfilling lives working for other people long-term; and yes that includes motherhood🤷. We already have to deal with male dominated careers, coworkers/bosses with narcissistic personalities, and toxic workplaces. I haven't had one manager that wasn't either racist or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:54 AM
91

Who wants to marry this guy? He's the epitome of LV. Doesn't matter who the woman is. He won't get better for the next woman because he's emotionally abusive. He will give the next woman what his ex wanted, but he will NOT give the new woman what she wants. It's about leveraging what women want to gain control in the relationship. I hate how she believes ultimatums are toxic. But what he's doing isn't as bad or worse? Like c'mon🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:09 PM
32

This legit sounds like a man wrote it😭... We've spent too much time around them! The second to last sentence has me rolling😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:21 PM
195

It doesn't occur to these men that you do nothing. The question is abusive in nature and necessitates that women who men don't find attractive must STILL fulfill men's desires. If she's not your girlfriend or FWB, she must be something else to you or do something that satisfies his need🤔 How many ways can men say, "I don't believe women are separate, self-actualized human beings deserving of respect"?🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:20 PM
125

Exactly. You should have been decent your whole life. I hold men to the same standard I hold myself to. That includes treating your first girlfriend/date with respect. No abuse. No sexism. No narcissistic bullshit. No causal hookups or "let's see how this goes". No porn. No cheating. No BDSM. No "kinks" If you ever question a man's behavior, ask yourself if you would act the same way? If not, then drop him🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:13 PM
44

I get what you mean. I'm careful of the term HVM. I grew up with conservative "HVM" who were told they were God's gift to women; they were "the marrying type"🙄. They still slut shamed women. They still breadcrumbed religious pickmes. They still cheated and had affairs that were apparently absolved with a confession. They still made their wives do 100% of the child-rearing. No one expects men to be perfect specimens, but respect isn't asking for perfection. That's the bare minimum. Relationships …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:58 AM
56

Oh the scrotes are mad😂. My inbox tells me I've ticked off some incels😱😱 But when you weigh the benefits of women's "self-improvement", there are none. Sure you get picked, but how does that benefit women? It doesn't increase our earning power. Or help us get better access to healthcare. I remember a celebrity claiming the way to "keep a man" was sucking his dick everyday. Everyday😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:41 AM
35

To you and u/Itsartsyme , I'll try to find it! It's buried somewhere😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 02:29 AM
86

Facts! Being a woman is expensive. Yesterday, I spent $25 on body wash. That's not hair maintenance, clothes, healthy food, makeup, and exercise. All independent women are QUEENS 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:27 AM
24

Preach, Platipus!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:19 AM
55

Sorry, girl. Pickme moms and the men they have children with are mentally destructive. The women here support you. We've all had to heal from similar experiences💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:16 AM
129

In college, I roomed with a woman whose boyfriend was extremely abusive. One night she wrecked the furniture and all her things because he cheated or was trying to leave her. I still remember her screams. That shit is no joke😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:12 AM
90

That's a great way to look at it. I refuse to date men I meet in person because they usually know what places I frequent, the people I know, and the place I work. But OLD is just as bad. The men on there skip the pretense and show their true colors. I'm literally putting pictures up and waiting for likes. This is why I highly doubt I'll ever date again. I want different things now. Doing something pickme makes me cringe 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:09 AM
301

Same! Years ago, I was scouring the internet for explanations that would justify men's abusive behavior. Cluelessness? Inexperience? Insecurity? Fear? Then I came across an FDS comment that explained step-by-step, how men abuse. This was before I was a mod and still had a pickmeisha flair😂. Anyway, I was mindblown because every thing she said happened to me. Hasn't been the same since. Women help women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:01 AM
678

The hardest truth to understand is men KNOW they're abusive. They do not care. They don't want to be better people because their life trajectory isn't determined by how "good" they are. Men reap the world's most valuable resources and social capital. What incentive do they have to change?🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:52 PM
362

High maintenance has never been about our physical looks. It's about our standards. Instead of outwardly blaming women for expecting better treatment, men shame women for their expressions of femininity because it's easier to ridicule women's behavior than ridicule men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:40 PM
21

Damn... Can't say I'm surprised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:25 AM
42

Yes, I do. If he wanted to, he would. But even IF he proposes, it wouldn't matter because he's already LV🤷 They're living together, been dating for a while, he got her pregnant and she had the baby 9 months later. He should have married her in between (1) moving in together and (2) having a baby🤡. Why hasn't he?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:16 PM
40

I hate victim blaming because trauma responses are a psychological phenomenon. Men are psychologically abusive. All mammals experience trauma. As much as men love dogs, do you see them blaming rescued dogs for not choosing better owners?🙄 Women staying with abusers is a trauma response. So is continuing to "pick" abusers. Leveraging people's vulnerabilities against them isn't "science" or "human nature". I understand the argument in support of basic instincts and survival. But emotionally abusin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 09:08 PM
54

It's unbelievable the amount of entitlement men have. They don't experience the same traumas, their bodies aren't used as cattle, they aren't objectified and belittled. Nor are they oppressed on a social AND political scale. But yet, they cry about doing the BARE MINIMUM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:58 PM
61

Said every abuser since the beginning of time🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:49 PM
44

Sure in his mind. But there's nobody "better". Even now she's too good for him. He wants to be entertained. He'll abuse the next one. And the next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:45 PM
139

Two things can happen: (1) He'll leave her. And then claim that it's her fault for staying. (2) She'll leave him and then he'll suddenly propose because he hasn't found his next source of entertainment. Then he'll abuse her more and defend it by saying that she's "controlling" and he never wanted to get married. Don't. Have. Children. With. Men. Adopt or go to a sperm bank. And the obvious, marriage doesn't benefit women. This situation makes me feel bad for the Youtuber, Carli Bybel😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 08:41 PM
29

Men decide to exploit you for sex before meeting you. Not during. Not after. BEFORE! This post nut clarity bullshit is used to gaslight women into believing they weren't "good enough" in bed or nOt seXuAllY ComPAtiBLe🤡 There should be no physical contact for at least 3 months. And I'm not talking about sex. I mean hugs, holding hands, and spending time in intimate settings. Sex comes waaay later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:38 PM
10

😐 What about holding my hand? Paying for dates? Picking me up? That's the bare minimum I swooned over. I was so lonely and needed an escape from toxic family. He turned out to be an abuser who sexually assaulted me and never addressed me by name. Literally, he never used my name to say hello, in text, or in person. WTF🤡🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:32 PM
19

Awe, sis. I understand what you mean. I replayed sex with my ex so many times after the breakup. I would even fantasize about the different sex we could've had (if it weren't for his crippling ED😂...🤡) What helped was time. But also reminding myself that he was an abuser, an assaulter, a manipulator. When I finally had a sexual thought that didn't involve him, I was overjoyed! It marked a big shift in my healing! Give yourself time. The same will happen for you😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:17 PM
6

Same😭...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:08 PM
55

Sounds like the professor was breadcrumbing her when she was still a student🤔. Hence why the crush became an obsession. I guarantee he led her on. If he didn't already have a raport with her, why would he magically reach out after his divorce?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:04 PM
74

To add - be introspective and figure out if this "crush" started because they liked you first. If you grew up with emotionally unavailable parents or are starved for affection, crushing on LVM that already like you is a recipe for disaster. You'll ignore their behavioral issues because you feel honored that someone is interested. That's how you end up settling🙅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:00 PM
21

The goal shouldn't be looking for a HVM. The goal is living your life, and if a HVM meets your standards, you'll consider dating him. My father is a pedophile, an abuser, and has mental health issues he refuses to get treated. He is the epitome of a LVM. Growing up, he'd take me to rated R films with excessive sex scenes and constantly adjust his crotch during the movies. That's how LV I'm talking😑 Yes, it's possible to have a LV father and have high standards for yourself. But you can't have bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:40 PM
125

You're not alone. Another FDS woman pointed out that abusers like "coercive contact". Rather than enjoying consensual sex, they want to manipulate you into sex (what is actually coercive rape and assault). Narcissistic men want power and control. Looking back, I never had a consensual experience with my ex. If I initiated, he'd refuse. If I said no, he'd get super excited and wouldn't back off until I said yes. I don't think red pilled men are exclusively on Reddit. They're everywhere. The ones …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:47 AM
66

I wish there was a way to permanently keep men out of our lives. Women are better off not dating. I stopped dating 3 years ago. But, my mother hasn't dated in over two decades and that seemed to make her more of a pickme. Like, the longer she remained single, the more she internalized the male gaze🤔. Now she talks (at length) about if a man sat next to her😐 I reflect on my past relationships and cringe, hard. I was blissfully ignorant. I'm much happier now. However, if we go the single route, we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:22 AM
91

I'm done with having anxiety over making men uncomfortable. Patriarchy wants to keep us silent. Men want us to be ashamed of having needs, standards, and boundaries. We're always tip-toeing so we don't irritate men or "provoke" them to rape us🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:53 PM
59

Men like this are the most abusive. I'm not making abuse measurable on a scale, but men who brag about "not being able to love people" are unashamedly callous. They have no regard for human beings, let alone women. They're the types that need the back and forth toxic power dynamic or they get bored. So, desperate pickmes aren't "fun" to them. Since he's abused her with relatively no resistance, he's looking for something else to keep him entertained. It's sociopathic/narcissistic behavior. I fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:44 PM
17

LOL!😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:48 AM
106

Imagine having $5,000 and giving it to a LVM🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:46 AM
11

That's the way to go! Queen!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:40 AM
17

Good riddance. Nothing makes my skin crawl than "friends" who stay silent. They deserve the low effort they give you. But, women respecting themselves is still a taboo idea. Radical feminism was introduced in my mother's generation. That's how new it is. We have a looong way to go😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:15 AM
5

Lots of love to you, sis💓. I'm glad you mentioned being angry as a part ot healing. I was able to heal because I spoke up and stopped silencing myself. It helped my anxiety. So it's not necessarily a bad thing. Knowing I wasn't alone was super helpful. It was someone here (Reddit) who told me that what my ex did was assault. And it was here that I understood the extent of my trauma. In the different stages of healing we cope differently. And as time goes by, you'll have to apply these principles…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:05 AM
191

A man who's never been married is romanticized. He's a salt n' pepper bAchEloR🤢. But women refusing to get married? Oh we're going against biology and will become an ugly spinster--- or worse ----- a lesbian😱😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:49 AM
61

First, thank you for trusting this space enough to share. I hope I can help😊. To answer your question, yes; especially during the beginning stages of healing. Because I was abused and controlled for so long, my immediate friends and family were offended by my new sense of self. I was called a bitch, psychopath, hurt, and "just bitter". If I talked about male violence, I was ridiculed. God forbid I criticized their boyfriends and husbands for mistreating them🙄. But right now, be kind to yourself.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:37 AM
61

I was shocked when I discovered that my nvx intended to play the long game with a classic bait & switch. He kept his mask up until he could sense vulnerability. I don't think it's realistic to never be vulnerable with romantic interests, but he was prepared to pretend as long as I kept him at a distance. That's why I roll me eyes (🙄) when women brag about "keeping their men in check" or being a challenge, etc. Like, sis you're in a toxic relationship and that scrote is waiting for an opportunity…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:54 PM
91

When I was in college, a baby, I tried reading Lolita because it was a "canonical" book. Couldn't get past the first 10 pages. Cringe🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:43 PM
25

Leave him on the curb on trash day! 🎊 Congratulations
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:41 PM
56

Men won't do jack shit for "the right woman". That is, yet another, lie🤷 For her, he may do the things you wanted. But he'll never do the things she wants. Remember that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:06 PM
125

Yep! Empowered women take themselves seriously. Pickmes feel indebted to men who treat them like human beings. That's the difference. I still say thank you when a door is held open for me, but I won't praise the man for opening the door. I will save thank you if a man pays for my dinner, but I won't unnecessarily compliment him because of it💡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:04 PM
80

Men created this belief to gaslight the women they abused >> "If you were a cOol giRL, I wouldn't have mistreated you. If you were more of a cHaLLenGe, I wouldn't have ghosted. If you wore longer skirts I wouldn't have raped you. YOu diDn't sAy nO" Men do not change. If he mistreated the first person he dated, he will NOT get better🤷. I haven't met one person who was able to change. They always have residual tendencies that need to be continuously monitored. Who wants to do that shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:50 PM
245

There's no such thing as a dream girl. Men don't behave better or respect "dream girls". LVM have fantasies. They want women who are a "challenge" to conquer because relationships with women are about power. A man's dream girl is a fleshlight😑. Or a ketchup bottle as we've recently learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:40 PM
246

He came home to a clean house, prepared food, emotional support, and financial support that helped him START A BUSINESS and earn his doctorate degree. He couldn't care less about her. She was just a means to an end. His crusty ass says they "agreed" that she'd take care of their future kids!???🤡🤡 I wish women put themselves first. 4 out of 5 men (I'm being generous) date women who will help them achieve their goals or date women whose life they envy. He either wants what you have or will exploit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:34 PM
449

Of course she did🙄. Their relationship was "perfect". I guarantee it wasn't. The prenup was the straw that broke the camel's back. He is a LVM who's mistreated her in other ways, but she can't see it. Or at least fails to acknowledge it. Being a pickme keeps you addicted to male validation. All you care about is being desired by men. Chosen as their wife/girlfriend/bangmaid/ FWB. You want his "respect" more than you want to be respected. Stop looking for men's approval. You can't put that shit o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:27 PM
29

Lmao. You're the real victim here. I'm sorry you had to see his moldy dick. Men are disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:28 PM
47

And, this is just ONE instance where he respected her boundaries. What about the other times? Has he tried to coerce her before? Has he respected other, non-sexual boundaries? Like ffs. Let's stop blowing smoke up men's asses🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:42 PM
30

Pretty sure Dante was a scrote too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:40 PM
52

Babe, I'm in a zoom meeting😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:39 PM
66

Instead of being outraged that women aren't respected, we do this. A woman I know, 26😐, just got engaged and everyone is saying "she found a good one". Ummm. Why is that your first compliment to her? And it's him that's been blessed, not her. Apparently we all subconsciously know men abuse women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:38 PM
171

Yes they can. This whole "testosterone" spiel is pure propaganda. You can't socialize women to be sexually repressed and men to be raving libertines and claim that men can't live without sex😂. Women want sex. But we don't rape and murder people to get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:30 PM
3

You're 100% correct. Gender deviation happens in the later stages of embryonic development. So men have nipples😂. These stories were invented to construct patriarchal rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:17 PM
23

Our society is built to accommodate men. From education, healthcare, religion, food, and even employment. Men are entitled because they have more access to resources. Girls are taught to survive and be appreciative for the scraps they're given. Millions of people believe (seriously dedicate their lives to believing) that women were created from a man's rib to keep him company😐. Literally created so men don't get lonely. If you want to understand male entitlement, that's great start😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:59 AM
367

Men are taught that showing human decency is a courtesy women should be "grateful" for. Hence why men display self-righteous indignation when rejected🙄 Men are allowed to hate women because we're a societal commodity. Our bodies are bought and sold ; Auctioned off, murdered, and defiled - by men. They resent women for being the "gatekeepers" of sex. Sex means more power. It's about making men feel like God. They're sociopaths. I have settled myself with that conclusion. Men's behavior no longer …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:29 AM
126

Men discuss sex drive like it's a default setting. Ummm no. If you're not meeting my standards, not respecting my boundaries, or doing anything LV, my sexual attraction to you is NON-EXISTENT🙄. It's disgusting how men bully women into (1) Believing consent is preemptively given and not something that is needed in every sexual situation and (2) That women's desire to have sex isn't linked to how they're treated😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:50 PM
29

Yep! This is exactly right. From OP's post ( u/onefoulowl ) it sounds like a scarcity mindset. 99 out of 100 LVM refusing to respect you is a correct observation. In the years I was on/off online dating, I went on first dates with 4 men! And of those 4 men, I actually dated 1. And he was a sexual abuser who used OLD to assault women😐. Let men be low-effort. If you have anxiety about finding and "keeping" a man, you'll become a pickme. Be comfortable with not dating. Or not getting married. You c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:20 PM
60

Men seriously talk like this. Casually mentioning their ED and porn-addiction. When I first started on FDS, I thought the "muh Penis" flair was satire. But I remembered some shit a NVX said and it was a "muh Penis needs this" statement. Crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:03 PM
102

I bet the statistic is criminally charged pedophiles. Not pornhub pedophiles who watch children and take pictures of them in public🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:45 AM
127

I KNOW he's raped children. I have no doubt. Along with the royal pedophile from England. You have to be a certain type of abuser to become a billionaire. All men. Okay. I'm waiting for someone to expose Jeff Bezos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:41 AM
5

Chips? Fries or potato chips?😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:38 AM
21

I've never sent nudes. Don't have photos on my phone either. The photos people have of me are clothed. I wanted to make sure nobody posted the clothed photos in search of nudes. I wouldn't put it past my NV ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:55 AM
26

Yeah. I went on there to make sure I was safe and found so many pictures of women from my area. They were listed by highschool or college. And the replies would ask for [first name/last name] in a certain city and men would reply if they found her. If they didn't, there were "accidental nudes" taken on trains, dressing rooms, etc. This shit is disgusting. Men are disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:52 AM
25

LMFAO. Never. Always the other way around. Shiiiittttt.🤒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:37 AM
51

There's a full blown Reddit sub dedicated to "what you can put your dick in"...🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:35 AM
10

Yeah, I say leave women alone if they are threatened or see put-together women as competition. I've always been interested in traditionally feminine things so I'm either too pretty and make people insecure or too pretty to be around their LVM🙄. I've liked women way more than I've ever liked men - literally. And it's exhausting trying to help pickmes. Save your mental health and hope they find the light one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:33 AM
70

Just here to remind you that "financial stability" isn't proper "compensation" for what you believe is giving your body and youthfulness to a man. Your body has been and always will be yours - it does not belong to men. Youthfulness is in spirit only. Don't let limp dick, patriarchal men convince you that eternally looking 12 is a woman's only redeemable quality🤡. Financial stability was the best to offer when my fore-mothers needed a dick's permission to open a bank account. Women deserve bette…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:25 AM
22

One of the reasons I ditched religion along with my pickme tendencies. Men created that "divine" hierarchy with males at the head of household. I assume it's because men do not care about children, their upkeep, or the woman that birthed them. It's about men, and how men get their needs met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:17 AM
53

There is no solution for men who believe this😐. Men still want to benefit from patriarchy (higher earning power, less accountability for LV behavior), but not suffer the male "consequences" (a.k.a shamed for expressing emotion). You cannot have it both ways. I refuse to consider this bullshit unless men change the structure of male privilege/entitlement. The author listed emotional repression as THE #1 killer of men. I literally laughed out loud. Emotional repression is incomparable to the horro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:02 AM
101

Male logic 101. His ass sure understands her needs. He doesn't want to acknowledge them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:34 AM
9

Me: reads comment.. throws legs in the air
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:38 PM
10

Ben Shapiro??? LMFAO!😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:53 PM
26

I seriously appreciate your sex education comments😅. My ex said that shit to me and I was thinking, this doesn't confirm my virginity, this means I'm bored as fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:49 PM
24

Exactly. It's not an LGBTQ issue. u/biwinny I saw a Ted talk defending pedophilia as a "sexuality". What the fuck🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:40 PM
15

Right! We just had a post about a home repairman who used a nursery closet to ejaculate into an Elmo toy😷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:36 PM
20

Thanks! As I'm getting older, this has been on my mind. It's not so much that I am afraid of being older. But that I expected more to happen in my early twenties (traveling, great jobs, pets, financial freedom). I was in denial😂. And I'm grieving that dream. I'm still young, but I wanted to have those experiences younger and be a more cultured person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:19 PM
213

Shit. This is why FDS/ radical feminism is critical for women's advancement. We could easily live our lives thinking men's behavior is benign. JuSt AsK hIM TO TaKE PIctUREs oF mE! Makes total sense🙄. Of course this LVM is masturbating to photos of his cousin. Why else would he use his phone?? Men do all types of predatory shit. And we've been conditioned to rationalize it😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:12 PM
111

SAY IT LOUDER! Yes! These men still believe violence against women isn't "that bad".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:00 PM
324

And the men that will cry, "I was just a kid"🙄... You can tell a LVM by the time he's in his late teens. You don't just grow up from harassing people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:56 PM
17

Yes. In my experience, period cramps/bleeding/ blazing shits😭 aren't nearly as psychologically taxing as harrassment, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, lack of access to healthcare, LVM. My period hasn't given me CPTSD🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:43 PM
249

I HATE the term "putting out". That phrase sums up women's worth in society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:38 PM
4

Yep, you're right. He isn't "an okay guy". u/jp2117515 , when we spend a lot of time near LVM (or LV people), we begin to minimize their behavior if they aren't "consistently" bad. It's classic psychology, so we've all been victim to this belief. But once is too many times. He doesn't have to be predatory 24/7 to be a predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:28 PM
6

Wow. Your comment gave me a revelation. When I dated an abuser, I literally thought if he liked me more, he'd stop sexually abusing me🤔. So I was exceedingly "nice" because I thought he'd stop and realize I didn't deserve to be mistreated. LVM + sexual/emotional abuse + pickme tendencies = recipe for disaster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:18 PM
6

Thanks for this post -- freeze responses are common with traumatized women. I froze the first time I was sexually assaulted because I was embarrassed and the abuser made it my fault (even though I said no 2 times). I had so much internalized misogyny, that I didn't fully understand sexual violence. But I could understand that I'd be mocked for not being "chill" or shamed if I yelled for help. Fighting didn't seem like a safe option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:03 PM
35

I believe it😔. It's pickme, but I "understand" where that stems from. In my first dating relationship I was sexually assaulted and abused- not one consensual experience. The guy wanted to just up and leave without once acknowledging his violence. I never loved him or even liked him, but I sure was angry/indignant at the sheer disdain for my life. However, it wasn't just that. I've tried to hold racist people accountable. "Talk" with them about their blatant discrimination, stereotyping, and emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:26 AM
45

It's funny how they NEVER specify a number for length or girth🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:27 AM
55

He was a covert/vulnerable narcissist. Men like that feel contempt towards women and extreme entitlement. They're usually depressed and become passive aggressive if they feel they've been insulted. Ignoring you, rolling their eyes, sighing, looking away is used to confuse you. The longer you're with them, the more anxious you become considering they get irritated with anything you do. They're able to remain "calm" because they understand what they're doing. It's to provoke you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:43 AM
56

My Tampax Pearl™ deserves WAY more respect than that. Lmfao😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:24 AM
34

What's obvious to you, will not be to other women. And what's obvious to other women, will not be to you. Always remember that👌. In general, men use the same abuse tactics. With time you'll be able to see them better. But how men employ abuse tactics are tailored to each woman differently. Negging works. But what will you neg about? Sexual abuse works. But how will it be done? So, it's plausible that this glaring red flag of men getting aroused when a woman cries, wasn't so glaring when she expe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:44 PM
69

We gotta forgive ourselves for what we didn't know😪.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:34 PM
77

I love your responses😍. But how annoying are the articles that fearmonger about the declining birthrate? So society abuses us, en masse, and then wants to cry about the next generation? What of women's mental health? And, I honestly grapple with my desire for a healthy relationship with the majority of people, men especially, because of oppressive gender structures. Is it even possible? Once you move past the pickme stage, you cannot unsee how fucked this world is. Men consume violence against w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:22 PM
28

Same😪 My observation is that men are the same on or off dating apps. But with an app, men can skip the pretense. They aren't pressured to respect you because you have enmeshed social circles, similar jobs, same school, etc. In total I've used OLD for a year, and the second man I met assaulted me - after 5 weeks! I eventually went to the police and was told it was sexual battery. So u/verisimilitude_too is spot on. I'm tired of people casually laughing at men's behavior. I'm sure their LV actions…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:06 PM
369

Men are sociopaths. Their ability "to not feel emotions" is an unwillingness to see women as humans. They've normalized abuse and the exploitation of women's bodies. Male behavior doesn't work for women because we aren't socialized the same way. The only part from the video I disagree with is the belief that women should initiate the "what are we" discussion. We certainly have the right to initiate, but we shouldn't. If he hasn't offered what you want by a certain time, just walk. Don't believe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:40 PM
36

😐No she didn't. That's a toxic ass friend. She'd rather call YOU unhealthy than acknowledge that her husband is LV. Okaaay.. Her anger is aimed in the wrong direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 05:34 PM
68

Moving in with men is a no-go🙅. I'd rather move back in with my parents😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 05:29 PM
3

Well, he's a sociopath. He was sexually abusive and emotionally abusive. Blamed me when he assaulted me - made it my fault. Because of that, I only addressed other issues like him doing the silent treatment, ignoring me, always being late, etc. I repeatedly brought this up thinking if he would acknowledge his abuse, I could address his sexual abuse and eventually feel safe enough to leave😪. Because I was unrelenting on mentioning his mistreatment, he claimed my expectations "caused him emotional…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:17 PM
5

Don't we all? We're socialized to ignore our instincts. You shouldn't have needed to labor like that when you were younger. I don't trust therapists for this reason. You're just another case, another paycheck, and they couldn't care less about your healing. I know PTSD never truly goes away, so I hope you've found ways to manage it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:24 PM
10

And consider why you're not motivated to talk with these people. That's reason enough. Your intuition knew what the deal was before you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:31 PM
8

Well, this definitely beats growing up with a pickme mother who said women with a large bottom lip gave too much head or women with thigh gaps weren't virgins😐 Tell your mom Happy Birthday for me😂. You're blessed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:22 PM
12

It's a euphemism for abuse. "Virginal" women are novices (can be anyway). So a man can easily manipulate and control her if you consider the power imbalance and female socialization.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:06 PM
29

This is smug and contemptuous behavior. He basically said she needed to convince him of her worth. And now after 4 months, she finally gets that park date. I already see the mental gymnastics she's doing to justify this LVM🤦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:52 PM
5

He ghosted after being with you for 4 fucking years?? Shit. I completely understand how painful that is. Healing takes such a long time. I hate the asinine saying, but I wish you the best in your recovery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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