Half the guys I've dated haven't gotten over their ex. They treat me as if I'm her. They punish me for things she did and said. They expect me to do the same things she did.
Ever date a guy whose last partner cheated? My god, they turn into controlling nutjobs.
The befuddlement on their faces when they say “but my ex liked this...”
They slide any random woman in and expect her to look after his kids.
They badger me for reassurance for their insane insecurities that one ex commented on, as if I have to make up for her 'attack'.
A lot of the times, it wasn't triangulation or trying to get me to compete with an ex. They were legitimately confused as to why I wasn't exactly the same as another woman lmao.
If they're convinced “women don't do xyz”, and you're a normal woman and you do xyz, you'll get dumped or critiqued for the most bizarre things.
They latch onto shit from high-school and use it as an excuse to punish all women for all eternity. Then they reinforce with each other that “all women are like that” because they're on high alert for this trivial shit they never got over.
If he's “not ready for a relationship”, no women are going to stick around to coddle and soothe this wounded bird. She'll leave. Reinforcing the idea that no-one is patient or good enough to commit to.
If he harps on something long enough, women are bound to crack, then he can exclaim AHA I knew it. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's no helping these dudes. It's disordered thinking to believe that all women are exactly the same and to never get over what one woman did. If he mentions his ex, tell him to fuck off back to her then.
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