~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Phone recordsWhen my Ex filed end of July '24 after 20+ yrs of marriage, I went thru our phone records and bank statements to find out why I came home to a half empty house with a note 6 weeks prior. I found 3 separate charges for local hotels on dates when she said she had stayed at a friend's house cause it was a girls night and she didn't want to drive home drunk. I looked back on our phone records, and during the month before she filed, I saw 731 texts and picture msgs to a single phone line. To which I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 12:16 PM |
| 2 | New partner not liking my kidI don't have kids but I can tell you that your new partner should be more accepting of your son when he's around. She should be treating him like he was her own son, even though she's not blood wise. She's either A: going to be not a great mom when she has kids of her own cause she won't have the potential training right now of being a stepmom with your son or B: when she does have kids then she'll be a helicopter parent even after that poor child moved out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/25 11:54 AM |
| 2 | Meet and greet jittersWe're going to be meeting again sometime this week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 03:42 AM |
| 2 | Meet and greet jittersWe're meeting again this week sometime. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/25 03:40 AM |
| 1 | Can't help but chuckle...did it happen to you?Karma's knocked on my Ex's door twice while she was driving. She's hit 2 deer. Don't think the car insurance she has would accept the 2nd claim for damages so close to the 1st. 1st happened in June and 2nd happened in Sept. Both times during separation on way to divorce being finalized. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 07:37 PM |
| 3 | Pictures of the ex.No kids in my marriage of 21 yrs, left the wedding photos and anniversary gifts when I moved out of the house after she left me. 2 months later house was sold. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/25 03:54 AM |
| 13 | What did you do with the engagement ring she left behind?If it was me, I'd sell it | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/25 03:50 AM |
| 3 | The wait is over. I’m glad this process won’t occupy more of my mental energy.I found 2 you can play https://youtu.be/If8by9Df4wM?si=7ke0yzA1FPHJbsNK And https://youtu.be/diYAc7gB-0A?si=Y5W4flyyZq5_k-m1 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/25 10:21 AM |
| 1 | For those who *didn’t* choose this…I have to think she did and saw that the grass was greener on the other side. What sucks is my ex left on the same weekend that her mom did the same thing to her father years ago- mother's day weekend | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 03:07 AM |
| 1 | For those who *didn’t* choose this…Nope. And her sister was living with us out of a suitcase to recover from hysterectomy surgery and they both ghosted me when I asked her sister is she knew about her leaving when I found the note. The only communication I've had with the ex has been thru lawyers. Nothing ever since finalization of divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/25 02:54 AM |
| 2 | How do you leave when you have young children ?Record all the physical stuff she does to you and kids, show a lawyer and the police the evidence then file a temporary protection order against her for your sake and the kids. Go to court to make it permanent | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Ex-wife friend reaches out to me with this belowI'm torn between saying acknowledge the msg with a "I got your msg" and leave it at that or saying just send. nIn 😁 nIn which is 2 middle fingers with a smile | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 06:36 PM |
| 6 | For those who *didn’t* choose this…The note I found on the kitchen counter and a half empty house when I got home one Friday after work and had texted her that I was stopping at DQ and asked if she wanted anything. I didn't hear back by the time I ordered so I got her favorite, walked in the house with it and found the note. There was no communication from her before she left. That hurt me and finding the phone list of 731 texts and pictures that she had sent in one month to one guy before I took her off my phone account. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/25 11:30 AM |
| 6 | You guys were rightMy ex wife then girlfriend at the time said how she was the other woman in a past relationship before me. I married her anyway cause I was in love. After she left me, after 20+ yrs of marriage, I found out that she had texted and picture sent another man 731 times in a month. When I found that out after I was served divorced papers, I gave my lawyer a chainsaw and said do everything in your power to push this thru the court and get it finalized asap. It was finalized 3 months later. So yes "Once… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/25 05:29 PM |
| 3 | 3 days in. Struggling to Move ForwardMan, it's hard at first to accept any news from someone you loved during your marriage only to find out they don't love you in the same way or any way at all. It's not easy at first, you'll start looking back and trying to figure out when and what clues were you not picking up- don't do that, start planning for your future self. Need to reach out to somebody to vent- do it here and talk with loved ones and friends. I told my supervisor/co-worker last May about my wife leaving, I didn't expect th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/25 03:08 PM |
| 1 | 3 days in. Struggling to Move ForwardWell said 👏👏👏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/25 02:50 PM |
| 1 | What are some things you’ve done for yourself lately?Mine had a list specifically of what she wanted from the house that she didn't take already, when she already had 8 hours to pack before she left and I came home to a almost empty house. When I moved out of the house, I took everything I wanted and moved it with me and left everything in it that was left to her before we sold the house. She was on the way of making a third list of stuff she wanted before I moved out, I figured I'll take what I wanted and if it was part of the third list......tou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/25 07:30 AM |
| 1 | What are some things you’ve done for yourself lately?Making payments on a new to me car to get MY not hers credit rating up, cause she would said "why and then list reasons why old car was good", there were too many good memories with her in that old car so I got rid of it. Bought a new tv, and a bigger one at that, cause I could. Currently in a city, wide awake in a hotel at 2am writing this, to see a NHL game 5 rows from the ice. Got numerous concerts planned to see cause when I'd ask if she wanted to see them I'd get "But we've already seen the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/25 07:22 AM |
| 6 | its finalThey might all not be Catholic but I'm guessing all the divorced men on here thought the same thing. I know I did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 05:19 AM |
| 4 | its finalWomen who just divorce men for no reason certainly do break that trust and makes it harder for men to ever trust women again. I like how some religions say divorce is a sin. Did the person who didn't ask for the divorce a sinner even if they stayed true and didn't cheat? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 05:04 AM |
| 11 | its finalAlmost the same reaction I had 3 mos ago when my lawyer said mine was final also. If the house is only yours, change colors inside and outside. Make it your own and furnish as such. If you have kids, ask them what color they want painted in their room. I didn't want the divorce either in mine, but I made sure I wanted the timeline when it was finalized. Work on yourself first then take time knowing another female. The pain of the betrayal of them divorcing us men might hurt at first, but just ta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/25 04:32 AM |
| 1 | I’m drowningI've been where you're at, there's plenty of life out there for you to enjoy. What did you enjoy doing when you were single, that you stopped doing while you were married? Take that up again. Therapy and the gym has worked for me. Treat your life as like driving in a car, always look forward...never in the rearview, cause the window's bigger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/25 07:56 PM |
| 1 | Do you ever just randomly cry?I've been in the gym doing rowing machine and walking on the treadmill cause I'm old and my knees don't run anymore. Just focusing on rowing helps plus it helps with overall cardio. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/25 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Do you ever just randomly cry?Therapy and working out helps | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/25 03:22 PM |
| 4 | Do you ever just randomly cry?I cried one time in public, luckily I was at a Prince tribute concert. When the first notes of Purple Rain started, I just lost it cause I knew then that my stbx didn't love me anymore by way of being served divorce papers. All the stress of the divorce proceedings just came out that night. Be strong in front of your kids but don't be afraid to cry when alone. We're all here for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/25 03:39 AM |
| 8 | How did you handle your ex’s birthday every year (during and after divorce).She didn't want contact, I didn't give her any contact. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | My DepartureBe there for your daughter. Make her the priority in your life, not your STBX. Do everything in your power legally to give your daughter the best in her life cause the victims out of a messy divorce are always the children. Especially during the custody hearings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/25 03:32 AM |
| 9 | I wish she hurt me.My Ex didn't even mention the word divorce or talk about what she was feeling before she just left. Came home to a half empty house and a note. I talked to some people at work while going thru the divorce and a couple of females who have gone thru menopause have said that a woman's brain chemistry drastically changes after 40. You might get an answer and you might not. What helped me get thru the same emotional state that you are going thru is distance, working out, and therapy. Try to stay away… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/25 02:15 PM |
| 2 | It’s final….No one wants a divorce. I know I didn't. Your introduction to divorce was probably like mine, out of left field and not knowing why she wanted it and probably never will know. I don't have the time to be asking questions on why, what caused this, how come it happened to me, and when did it start for her to begin contemplating divorce. If I spent my time trying to find the answers to these questions then I won't have the time to live my life. You just take it one day at a time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/25 05:29 AM |
| 1 | Still hoping get back my wifeSorry man but my then wife did the same thing - just left. When she left you, it's for a reason that you might get to hear and then don't plan on it. Take care of yourself first. This is an emotional punch to the gut that no man should have endure from the woman he promised to love forever while she said the same thing and then just left. It'll be painful while being separated but you need to start looking ahead. Still show up to work, join a gym, get therapy, and go consult with all the lawyers… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/25 06:39 AM |
| 3 | Which would you choose: never to fall in love again or to be unrequited in love?Never falling in love again. Looking back on the last few years of my marriage made me realize that I was in a unrequited love relationship with my then wife and didn't know it. She was just stringing me along till she found someone "better". | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/25 02:24 AM |
| 1 | Tonights my last night in our homeSure the next few nights sleeping alone will feel really weird and off like something's not right. And you'll be jumping up or waking up to every strange noise to see what it was. But get to a gym or continue working out to get you tired to be able to get a good night's sleep cause it might be awhile. Can't afford a gym membership right now, YouTube best home exercises without weights to help. Buy earplugs to cut down the noise if you're going to live in a noisy area at night. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/25 12:09 PM |
| 2 | Officially Divorced!Mine was official at the end of last Oct. I'm celebrating my divorce by going to vegas in April, the 26th to be exact. There's going to be a huge "convention" at Allegiant Stadium with music, for the fans of the 2 types of electrical current that is currently known throughout the world. I have to go cause this might be the last "convention" that I might be able to see. I've been to 2 other "conventions" in the past, with the same fans, and each time all of us have a rocking good time. 🤘😎🤘 | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 05:19 AM |
| 3 | Buying her out of the houseHigher interest. I tried to do a loan to buy out my now ex cause I wanted to keep the house. But the house assessed at $340K, half of house ($170k) plus half of what's left of the loan (about $45K) was what the total ($215K) was for a buyout loan. It would've made my payments at $1700 a month for 30yrs. I couldn't see myself paying $1700 a month to live in a home where she left me and without any discussion about it. Sold the home and moved into a 1 bedroom apartment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/25 03:07 AM |
| 2 | Any tips and advice that has helped you level up in any way, shape, formJust take it one day at a time with baby steps. Once you're done, then look at the achievements and how much you've accomplished in that time | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 04:57 AM |
| 1 | KARMA! Is it real?I think the 1st time Karma said "Hold My Beer" was due to the fact that right after she left me that I found out that she had sent someone 731 texts and pic msgs in one month, and the 2nd time Karma said "Oh it's my turn again?" was just due to the fact that the judge finalized the divorce. I like to think that if the 2nd deer could talk, that it might've yelled "SURPRISE!!!!" as my ex ran into it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 04:54 AM |
| 1 | KARMA! Is it real?I believe it exists, I believe it has possibly come back on my ex twice now with her hitting 2 deer in 3 mos with the same car. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/25 03:02 AM |
| 2 | First night in new apartmentBe there for your kids. Get the apartment ready for them asap, in case they're able to spend the night sometime in the future. Going from a house that you lived in to an apartment is weird the first night- strange noises, new routine, really close next door neighbors. No kids here but trust me I know about house to apartment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/25 03:07 AM |
| 1 | What are your 2025 goals post divorce?Concerts, trips, and gym so far is on my list | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 02:00 AM |
| 3 | Are any of you in this group on good terms with your ex?Nope. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/24 01:51 AM |
| 5 | It's finally over - thank godCongrats on making it thru the dark tunnel of divorce. If she was like mine personality wise, karma will come back on her. Mine had karma come back twice, both with "Hitting a deer" claim on the insurance within 4 months of each other. All I can say is Don't Look Back, Look Forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/24 06:39 PM |
| 3 | Divorce almost overMine made more than me but I found out later when I took her name off our joint account that she had started transferring money out before she filed. I have 2 female coworkers who said that a woman's brain chemistry really changes for the bad after 40 or during menopause. Mine was older than 40 yrs old, she was 50 during separation, and 51 during divorce. I can honestly say that it feels good to be done with the divorce but you're first holidays not having her and her family around will be hard.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/24 04:45 AM |
| 5 | Divorce almost overI felt the same way but I told my lawyer to bring out the chainsaw to make the divorce go faster. Took only 3 months from being served to finalize. Feelings didn't help with finding out she had someone on the side that she sent 731 texts and picture msgs to in 1 month. Karma has come back on her, found out that she's hit 2 deer (1 during separation and 1 after the finalized divorce) with her car. I found this out cause our insurance said if I knew about the claim on the 1st one, I had called the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/24 04:20 AM |
| 4 | Today I am feeling it. Frustrated AF.It's hard to think of things and say "hey my spouse might like that" after the divorce, I've done it but now just change it to "Hey my son might like that". Plan things to do with your son, make memories with him. Just focus on the only good thing that came out of your divorce, and that sounds like that it is your son. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/24 11:12 AM |
| 2 | When did you stop wearing your wedding ring?The day I was served papers, she had moved out of the house first 2 mos prior to being served. Then when I moved out of the house, I left it behind in her jewelry dish in the bathroom to which I knew that she had to go thru the house again to get it ready to sell. I would've loved to been the fly on the wall when she found it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/24 05:36 PM |
| 1 | What to do if she drains the bank account?We don't have kids, that's why it went so fast. I can't imagine the time to go thru a divorce that involves kids. I think that it not only affects the kids also but the parent who didn't initiate the divorce process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 04:02 PM |
| 2 | In the hearing online right now.Good luck | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 03:41 PM |
| 1 | What to do if she drains the bank account?I was shocked too but I believe my divorce might've been the fastest from being served to being finalized- 3 mos. And Karma is hitting her now. She tried to file a claim on my Car insurance for hitting a deer. This is her 2nd deer in 5 mos, she hit the 1st during separation. I told the ins company to close my account, I was going to do it anyway in Feb. It was a 6mos prepaid plan but I just told them that I'm not legally financially responsible for her anymore and I have the papers to prove it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 03:30 PM |
| 2 | Feeling Numb: Divorce, Betrayal, and Life Falling ApartTake the STBX FIL's advice and find someone better than his daughter but not right now. Work on yourself first, not your roommate that wants you out. Fight for your job if it pays good, let your coworkers and boss(es) know that you'll be going thru a divorce pretty soon. Take your STBX off any insurance benefits that you have her on with your job. Start preparing for a fight, start consulting with lawyers now. I don't know the lawyer rules for your country since it doesn't sound like you're in t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 11:34 AM |
| 3 | What to do if she drains the bank account?Just like what Sgt Schultz says "Nothing", but I would start moving or at least get your own account with your paycheck going into it. I had trusted my ex with banking during our marriage with our joint account. When she left is when I took over the joint account and found out that she had taken out over $25K during the last couple of years into a different account that was not in our names but hers alone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 11:19 AM |
| 4 | It's officially official (Words of encouragement)!To all who are here reading: Sometimes it's a fast journey to be officially divorced (mine was 3 mos from time to being served to judge finalizing and making it official) and sometimes a long time. It's dark during the divorce process and you don't know which direction you're heading in the dark halls of the process but that light is there at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong, it'll get better. We'll all here for you to help. You've got this. To Op: congrats on joining the growing club of divor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 03:50 AM |
| 2 | I want to take a few days to myself. Where can I go?I like the idea of a cabin in the Great Smokies but I'd try to get it with cell service, just in case your kids have an emergency. If you had no kids, then cabin and no cell service. Dec in Gatlinburg?? Better bring a lot of blankets. I used to live in the late 70s outside of Clarksville, so yes it can get cold. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/24 12:00 PM |
| 2 | JellyIf she's the one that initiated the divorce process, then live your own life without her in it. Hit the gym, therapy, hang out more with your friends, take that trip you've wanted to take but maybe she said no to....enjoy life. Right now you've got to look thru the front windshield of a car. Always forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 11:47 AM |
| 4 | How much was your divorce? Did it go to trial?For me the retainer was going to be $7K but we didn't have kids (medically she couldn't) then the lawyer said he'd do it for $5K retainer. I was served end of July '24, and the judge finalized late last month in Oct. I wanted it done quick and fast, I just wanted it over with. I hope for you that it doesn't go over the retainer you have. They say divorce kills a guy.....yes it does.. In the wallet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/24 10:47 AM |
| 7 | I’m terrified what’s nextTake that hate towards your ex and turn it into more love for your kids. Listen to your lawyer. Always record ALL Communication with your ex- verbal and written, even when other people are around you even if it's friends, family, and enemies. And just take it one day at a time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/24 12:37 AM |
| 3 | Ex-wife treating me like a bankGod I hope the divorce is final or she could take out any loan on your good name and credit. I also hope the car payments are in your name, not just you making them cause you feel the need to help. If it's a joint car loan, get your name off of that asap, if it's in your name get that car back NOW!!!!! Before she wraps it around a tree and stiffs you the loan, I hope you got the gap insurance on the car loan. When I was married and got a car loan, I got the gap insurance just in case. Now that I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 07:15 PM |
| 5 | Wife filed false TRO restraining orderTry to get the cost of your end of the forensics forced on her, if they come back proving things were false on her end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/24 11:36 PM |
| 1 | Telling friends. When’s the best time?Friends? Now. Family? As soon as she said any of the words "I'm leaving you", " I want a divorce" or "Get The Flock Out of My House" and even the words "I've cheated on you with another guy". | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/24 01:00 PM |
| 2 | Divorce filingThe judge hopefully will look at the bigger picture on who makes what, what's true and what's not, and will make a good decision that will be good for both but be prepared to possibly be paying for at least 70-80 of the things cause she might put on fake alligator tears in court especially if the divorce involves children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/24 05:13 PM |
| 11 | Am I an asshole for saying this:Nope not the AH. My opinion is based on almost me experiencing the same thing. But I never asked for the divorce, wasn't verbally told about it and never communicated from her about being friends. Maybe later on but not in this lifetime. If you've got kids then try to be cordial or else that will get brought up in a custody hearing, start recordings of conversations and anything while you're around her. You don't want a domestic charge against you to hurt your case in the long run. Start consult… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/24 11:11 AM |
| 1 | Want to break stuff... What to break?Here's one in Spokane WA, just Google Rage Room in your city. Something has to come up that is at least close by. https://ragexscape.com/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/24 04:28 AM |
| 7 | Want to break stuff... What to break?Google rage rooms in your area. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/24 01:11 AM |
| 2 | Butt kicked in courtSomebody pissed in the Judge's Froot Loops that morning | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/24 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Ex wife has had a side pieceWell when you mentioned the dead weight, that's the first song I thought of | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/24 08:48 PM |
| 1 | Ex wife has had a side piece🤘😎🤘 https://youtu.be/Z62MX8phKfk?si=Q2M283eYBZI7KFzX | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/24 08:42 PM |
| 6 | Ex wife has had a side pieceWould her name be Rosie and would she also be "Fourt'two thirt'ninefiftysix"? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/24 08:35 PM |
| 3 | Assaulted by step fatherSince you have the assault on film, start also recording a bunch of things happening to take to court. See if Child Protective Services can get involved. But I bet the mother will just say "My father has been looking after them". Just keep recording in that case. File an assault charge on the stepfather since you have proof. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 10:46 AM |
| 4 | My Ex Wife has no shameJust like the saying "if you give a mouse a cookie....", don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 01:56 AM |
| 2 | Governor calledThe amount of money that I won't be spending on my half of the utilities and mortgage for a house that will be sold later this month will just have to go back into my savings after I get her name off the account. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 01:52 AM |
| 1 | Governor calledI haven't sent any communication to him since his daughter left me in mid May of this year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 12:35 AM |
| 2 | Governor calledLast month the court had set a trial date for March '26, so to be free from several months of possible ugliness on her part is a relief for me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Governor calledIt means that if you live in the 🇺🇸 you'll get the joke. It's a phase to mean that a person of political power in a us state has saved you from a lifetime of being in prision like as in the divorce process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 08:31 PM |
| 3 | Governor calledMy plan is to do all those things except for dwelling on the past | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 07:36 PM |
| 2 | Governor calledWell I hope that you still give us updates or just voice what you can on here, let us know how it's going. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 07:08 PM |
| 1 | I know there is a hidden camera, what do I do?If the house is solely in your name, then sue. But if the house in both your name's and only one person needs to be aware of the recording devices then you might not have a case. Some states rule on recording devices that one party can be aware and some states rule both parties must be aware. But until then, I'd have some fun- make pretend phone calls talking with another woman in full view of the cameras and walking around naked, again naked while no kids are in the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 05:38 PM |
| 1 | I know there is a hidden camera, what do I do?If you're still leaving the cameras where they areat, when the kids aren't there- walk thru the house naked like there is no camera. I wouldn't even acknowledge out loud that you know about it, just go about your life. Be careful on finding it cause it might have a battery as backup. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 05:23 PM |
| 2 | Holiday Solo PlansThat's a good idea, I'm in Eastern WA and have a few resorts to snowboard if I want to within an hrs drive | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 02:23 AM |
| 1 | Time judge took to come to a decisionThe court set a trial date weeks before the paper was signed. I'm hoping that the judge will finalize and then cancel the trial date. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 12:17 AM |
| 1 | Time judge took to come to a decisionSigned the judgement and Decree papers a few days ago. Hope that the judge in my case signs off on making it final next week even though the court set a trial date for F'N March | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/24 04:13 PM |
| 3 | WTFSounds like she's been married before if you mention the stepdaughter. Start consulting with all the lawyers in the area. That way it's tough for her to even talk to one. If you really love the dog (I mean come on who doesn't love dogs), maybe that will be a major point with lawyer to talk about full custody of the dog. My wife left me 5 mos ago, after our last dog had passed (in Jan) but took all 6 of the dogs (that we had adopted during our 20.5 yrs of marriage) remains with her. Catalog every… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/24 11:41 AM |
| 2 | Wife goes to dinner after work and doesn’t communicate it.My stbx did those same things, saying she's "got a dinner meeting", "girls night", "not hungry". I felt disrespected when mine did that, you should too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 01:14 AM |
| 1 | I’m ready for this to endAre you the primary on the phone account? If so, you can see what the activity looks like on her phone. I could see the texts and calls made on my stbx's phone before I told her to get her own account as we're still going thru the divorce process. I saw that she sent texts and msgs to one guy 721 times in one month. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 12:59 AM |
| 7 | Finding potential evidence that..My stbx was the other woman in a relationship before I met her, she told me this one night before we were engaged but I let it slide cause I was in love. Now I know that she's had another person in the wings the last year we've been married cause of her "late night meetings" and that she's "not hungry due to her not feeling well". I found a receipt for 2 people to have dinner the next day when she gave the "not feeling well" excuse the night before. It hurt at first but there's a reason why the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 04:41 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my god that's a good one | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/24 03:11 AM |
| 3 | It's Over - LoveHope your kids are still making contact with you | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 03:19 PM |
| 2 | Wife is finally moving forwardI googled it, sounds like a fight she's asking for then | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 08:34 PM |
| 2 | Wife is finally moving forwardIf she doesn't have one yet, call all of them to consult. That way no lawyer you've talked to can fight for her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 07:56 PM |
| 3 | Saved marriageMine didn't verbally say anything about divorce before she left, just divorce in the note. I hate to say it that you'll need to consult with a lot of divorce lawyers quickly, cause it's a high 99.99% chance that divorce will happen or else she's already got the lawyer and divorce papers ready to be delivered to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?I will when I have some money from the sale of the house | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 06:42 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?The place I'm thinking of I'd like a day trip but it'd have to be a weekend since it takes approx 8hrs to get there | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?Rare to have a trifecta like that | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?Sounds like what mine did, do they belong to the same Divorce your man club? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 04:50 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?When was the last time she acknowledged any event? Thinking back for me- she didn't acknowledge anything for like 2-3 yrs before leaving. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 03:05 PM |
| 0 | Anniversary acknowledgement?There's a lot of outdoor things still going on up here in the PNW- Oktoberfests, sports events, camping but it'll be too cold, Scarywood. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 03:00 PM |
| 0 | Anniversary acknowledgement?I don't even start conversations with her. If I do, it's about sharing costs on an ongoing house sale that is going on. That's it. No "How's your day, I miss you".....None of that. I'd rather vote for Trump (And I've never liked trump since the 90s) then say that to her | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:50 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?I was hoping mine would've been finalized this friday, but maybe I'll get it for Christmas | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:47 PM |
| 2 | Anniversary acknowledgement?That's a great idea, now that's being supportive with ideas on what to do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:46 PM |
| 5 | Anniversary acknowledgement?Not wasting my $$$ that way, is rather spend it on myself | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:36 PM |
| 2 | Anniversary acknowledgement?I know she does, I have proof of 721 texts and pic msgs sent over a months time | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?So speak up, what did you do- nothing? Or did you celebrate your finalized date? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 02:33 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?I was asking people if they've acknowledged it, I wasn't asking if I should acknowledge it. I realize that more ppl here will think that I'm asking for myself to acknowledge it but I'm not. I'm planning on getting drunk anyway to mourn the loss of something I put hard work into. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 01:53 PM |
| 1 | Anniversary acknowledgement?Just putting the question out there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 01:45 PM |
| 1 | How to start moving on?Save the money, you'll need it for the lawyer if you get served. Start consulting with as many lawyers as you can, that narrows down the chance of her getting a good lawyer to bend you over in divorce court. Work on yourself like therapy and the gym. Start living your life. Start by talking with friends and family about your situation. YouTube is great for finding out about stuff you might not know of. And Google works too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Overwhelming stressFind a way quick to get rid of at least 50-75% of the stress, cause you need to be well for work and possible colds that will sneak up. If your gym has a steam room, use that if you live in a really cold area. Get 7 hrs of sleep of you can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 12:43 AM |
| 4 | I filed for divorce and STXW had me arrested for a staged DV simple assault.I haven't gone thru anything like a staged dv. The only thing I can recommend, if you can and you are sharing a living space is get out. Start carrying an audio recorder on you to record any and all interactions whether in person or on the phone. Start looking for a new place. When you do move out, record the condition of the place as you're leaving. Have a friend help you to possibly testify in court if needed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 10:21 PM |
| 8 | Not afraid to admit itCry when you're able but just get it out. I let that sit with me for months and didn't cry until the stress of everything just came out at a Prince tribute concert. Luckily for me it was during the song Purple Rain, and not Let's go Crazy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 08:19 PM |
| 1 | I'm done forDon't verbally communicate with her, try to just do texts and emails. That way there's written proof of what was said. If you're still doing both kinds of Drs visits- physically and mentally, then keep going to them. It'll seem stressful at times, have good friends who know of your situation who you can talk to. Have a job? Talk to your boss, let them know of your situation also- keep them updated on certain appts you have to leave work for, like Drs visits and meetings with the lawyer. Your law… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 03:30 AM |
| 2 | It happenedI haven't had any experience in Cook County, IL, But I've had experience with her filing for divorce- get the best hardest working lawyer you can afford cause in 21 days after she serves you the papers is when your lawyer has to make acknowledgement of being your attorney. You might want to hurry getting consults under your belt to find the best one for you. And watch your words when dealing with her, better yet start recording conversations when dealing with her cause she could play the "abusiv… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/24 07:49 AM |
| 10 | Why do men take divorce so hard?Cause men don't want to feel defeated and broken. It's hard for a man to get out of that thought process, even scarier for them to admit to anyone about how defeated and broken they are. Men don't want to face the life of being single again and also being labeled a divorced man. Women see a man being labeled 'divorced male' and instantly think of the man negatively like he was an abuser of some sort when it could've been the other way around like he left cause she cheated or physically abused hi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 03:29 PM |
| 5 | Would you have stayed married if your wife was gay?My stbx might've realized she was during our marriage, I only say that is something I've questioned now cause of all the trips and ladies nights out that she did. Good for her to find what makes her happy if she is. I'm always going to love the shape of a natural woman. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Grounds for divorce? My wife left me stranded with no resources besides my cell phoneStart a budget if you can | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 02:22 AM |
| 3 | Grounds for divorce? My wife left me stranded with no resources besides my cell phoneOne- get your wallet back. Two- Go get a lawyer. Three- start putting $$$ if you can in a separate your me only account. Four- start working on yourself-excercise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 02:13 AM |
| 8 | What did I do??Get a lawyer | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 03:30 PM |
| 3 | (46). Hey all. Aside from cheating, when did you know you were done in the marriage?When she left I thought "ok, maybe she needs to get away to reclaim her thoughts" then when I was actually served, that's when I knew the marriage was done. When I looked at of all the family, friends, and coworkers texts that she had sent, I found 721 texts (not including the pics sent) in a 3 week period before I was served divorce papers to a single number that I didn't recognize, I lost all love and respect for her. I didn't even want to be in the same city let alone the same state as her. I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 03:51 PM |
| 4 | She want alimony included in prenupWould I marry her with all the red flags saying GTFO? NOPE | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 03:00 PM |
| 1 | What did you do after?I know that looking at your kids might bring up memories of your ex but you've got to control them where it doesn't show on your face, kids pick up on that really quickly. Do new things with your kids that you didn't do with your ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 11:15 AM |
| 1 | Any advice helps thank you.Go see a military lawyer if you are still active, they might be able to help | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 11:12 AM |
| 1 | What did you do after?My stbx left me to find "what makes her happy". I took that as to maybe she's going to come back but I really took it as the sign for me to move on when I was served divorce papers. There was no discussion from her on how she was feeling the way she did. My good memories are of all the travels and things we did but the one two punch of her leaving and the serving of divorce papers kinda buried those good memories. Moving on is the only way us men can strengthen ourselves to be strong, we've got … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 01:48 AM |
| 3 | Terrified.I agree with dnbndnb, but I also think you alone might need to talk to a therapist who specializes in divorce. They might help you also with how your thoughts are, I'd talk to them about life stuff if you don't have any one else to bounce things off. Also talk to your AA Sponsor, he or she might've gone thru the same stuff you're going thru now. Surround yourself with people who know you like friends and family. In-laws might take her side even if you're right. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/24 02:56 AM |
| 9 | Wife and I Separating and DivorceI hear your story and I'm like WOAH DEJA VU. Would've been 21 years for me in Oct if we were still together. I think mine checked out yrs ago but probably listened to single sister and single friends and left me. Mine used the words "To find what makes her happy" in a note. Probably saw all the single fun they were having and wanted that. I suggest you alone get into therapy and start consulting with attorneys as fast as possible. Those papers could be served to you at any time if she hasn't see… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/24 06:06 PM |
| 8 | Where Do I Go From Here?Start consulting with all the lawyers near you and her, that way they can't hear her at all. Do the same with therapists who specializes in divorce, they're out there I know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/24 12:33 PM |
| 3 | What did you do after?I'm not a real big drinker, I'll have one drink socially and that's about it. 2 drinks if I'm someplace where I have a place to stay like on a cruise or a hotel room. And I know it'll be very long time till I dip my toe in the dating pool. I waited till I actually thought she was the one to ask before I got married. 1st marriage for me. I have far off plans to travel but nothing set in stone yet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/24 12:53 AM |
| 2 | Just Moved OutSome of it disappears, if you're not finalized with divorce then you'll have a small amount. I still have mine due to trying to sell a house with her and we're not living there. I think she lives in the same city as where we were living married for 21 yrs, where I moved to another city 45 mins away from the house. I've been moved out officially for almost 2 weeks now. Those feelings might go away when the judge makes it official and I'm hoping they make it real soon, like in 3 weeks from now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 11:52 PM |
| 1 | Divorce License PlatesJust spell it out- DIVORCED. It fits if you can do 8 letters on your plate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 11:37 PM |
| 5 | Unable to cryI can tell you that when you finally cry, you'll want to be in a gathering of some sort (where no one knows what's happening in your life) to do it without it looking weird. I did finally, it happened last Friday night at a Prince Again concert (That's the name of the tribute group, you can Google it) and luckily it happened during purple rain where I was literally front row. Thank God it didn't happen during the song "Lets Go Crazy". I just broke because of the stress with the divorce (she left… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 05:14 PM |
| 5 | Nightmare about STBXW committing suisideHas she ever had expressed thoughts of suicide to you at all? Get yourself a therapist to help deal with your subconscious. I know my mind was playing tricks while I was asleep when my wife left and said divorce. Your subconscious breaks thru the barrier you put up during the day to not deal with it. And it can think of scary scenarios during the night, I woke up one time after 2 hours asleep and never went back to sleep that night. As things progress, things will happen that will affect you emo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 11:54 AM |
| 3 | Happy birthday?Here's a song https://youtu.be/3nm37gzDnk0?si=of-kZL-LZtQdcREZ | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/24 03:15 PM |
| 2 | My wife left me and I’m struggling with understanding why.Man I've been almost in your shoes except for the having kids part. It feels like you got punched twice (once in the gut and the other in the balls) when the wife leaves with no explanation and no reason on why. 5 months ago that happened to me. I can honestly say that you might not get any explanation on why, I haven't asked and I'm not going to. I look at the old saying "If you really love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's your's. If it doesn't, then it never was." | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/24 03:34 PM |
| 3 | Very depressed.If you're always looking back then you'll never see the great future heading your way. You'll miss the great things and better relationships coming at you if you look back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/24 02:16 AM |
| 6 | Ex wife keeps bringing new boyfriend to my houseI would be saying Thank you to any guy that showed up with her when she would come to pick up the kids. Leave em puzzled that would do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/24 01:40 PM |
| 3 | Ex in the middle of moving out.When the kids are at her place, work on yourself- gym and therapy. And when they are with you- only be there for them. Take the love you would've put towards her and give it to them. Make plans on calendars like when you have them- plan trips to the park or if you're near forests hiking trips. It'll be hard but be positive around them, don't let any negative emotions show cause your kids will soak that up and bring it back to her to use possibly as evidence in the soon to be custody battle that … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Im in a dark sport right now now…Well if the words separation and divorce wasn't uttered at all, it will be a huge shock at first but the pain and shock will slowly go away. After almost 21 yrs of marriage it was a shock to me when she left. Be prepared for a fight, get a therapist to help with thoughts and keeping yourself mentally fit, go to a gym for the physical fit half. There's going to be small battles and big battles, you and only you will know what's important to fight for thru your lawyer. It will be challenging to ke… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 02:53 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife having regretsWell just say her loss, move forward and work on yourself | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 12:36 AM |
| 3 | If she comes back.. I'll be the foolI thought mine would do the same, realize that I'm here for her waiting. I can honestly say that changed when I was served the papers. You gotta prepare yourself for the worst case scenario- being served Divorce papers and that she ain't coming back. I told myself when I found the note saying she left, with no discussion about it beforehand, that she's just on a trip where she can't communicate and that she'll be back. Being served gave me her answer on coming back, not going to happen. It's eas… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 01:17 AM |
| 3 | The ringsI thought that when my wife took hers off that it was because of not fitting anymore, boy was I wrong- she was planning on leaving me. She left me with an almost empty house mid May and I officially moved out of same house a few days ago. She requested I not be there when she walks thru to get the rest of her stuff- she's made 2 trips to get her stuff, this'll be the 3rd. She'll walk a realtor thru, and to get a donation company to pick up what she doesn't want. I left my ring in the same storag… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/24 03:04 PM |
| 21 | It never endsIf you don't have kids together, change your number | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 08:00 PM |
| 2 | Is 6000$ retainer fee too muchMine was originally going to be $7K but because my stbx and I don't have any kids, just have a house, Separate IRAs between us, each of us own a vehicle, my lawyer lowered it to $5K. But I had to pay $3500 of it first then at the end of the month, pay the balance. From what I've read on here I say $6K is a really good deal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 01:01 AM |
| 10 | No love for Divorced MenI officially moved out today of a house that I'd been living in since my stbx left me mid May after 20.5 yrs married. And I can tell you that it felt great to be out of there, and in my own apartment. I say screw the people that know of your situation and don't want to get to know the real you. Just say hi when you pass them, that way you don't come off as the mean angry divorced guy. A few might want to be friends later on, just not right now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 12:53 AM |
| 1 | Struggling TodayWould it be in bad taste to print the obituary of your marriage in the local paper? Asking for a "Friend"....yeh...a friend...that's my story...a friend | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/09/24 05:01 PM |
| 1 | I think I have a stalkerWe were married and have a house in Idaho where she's still a resident living somewhere other than our house. I'm currently trying to get the things I want out of there before she gets in a 3rd time to get her things, apparently the first 2 times wasn't enough. 1st is when she moved out mid May without a discussion about it, 2nd time I had a list of things she wanted that she gave her lawyer to give to mine- I moved all the things and end some to the garage for a week before labor day where it w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/24 07:32 PM |
| 1 | First nightI did change the alarm codes- both verbal and keycode. That way if she did get in, the only way she could turn it off would be the distress code which calls the cops and you would then have to give them the verbal code saying it's ok if you're allowed to be there. And I'm the only one with access to see what entry points have been accessed and at what times also. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/24 01:33 PM |
| 1 | Finally I recently found an apartment but no furniture yet.I took claimed 2 chairs from my house I lived in for 20.5 years. I left her the couch that I was not going to try and bring up to my 2nd floor apartment. First item I bought when I took possession of my new place was a zero gravity chair, local sports store had a major discount on them. I figured if I can sleep in a zero gravity chair while I was still married and camping, I can use it in the apartment if I couldn't fit the 2 chairs I did claim. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/24 11:05 AM |
| 3 | It’s doneNo one wants to be single again after being married, no matter how many years you were married. I know I didn't want to be single, that's why when I was 27 I started looking and got married 6 yrs later. Now after 20 almost 21 yrs in Oct I'm going to be single if the divorce gets finalized. I know I cried for a week after she left our house 4 months ago, but just keep exercising if you can or when you can. Go see a therapist, just work on your self first. I'm in the process of moving into an apar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Need adviceIf I read this right, I'm sorry for the loss that your daughters are feeling right now and if it affects you also then I'm sorry for your loss also. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 03:41 PM |
| 3 | After 21 years 4 kids was blindsided.I can only give this advice- try temporary employment services. Let them know what you can do and they will see if there's a place you can be able to go work for a company then they'll send you there. You work temporarily at the company they send you to that might hire you full time later down the road. I've been at that situation where I've filled out a shit ton of resumes but only a couple of interviews happen. That's why I say look at temporary employment services | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 06:02 PM |
| 4 | Barely survivingBefore the weather turns nasty for you up there, exercise outside then take it to a gym during the winter. Stressed- hit the gym. Save your money on weed and save it for spending it on your kids. See if there's signup sheets for sports around your area that are free to join. Maybe there's a group for divorced dads. Before I got married, I had a co-worker who went to college part time and he brought me along to play racquetball with him. Maybe find a coworker to play sports with. Maybe let your s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?They say a woman's brain chemistry changes around the mid 40s, I can honestly say that to be true | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?Maybe bad advice but maybe from her sister instead. I had a very bad day at work the day she left, I knew her sister was still staying at our house recovering from a hysterectomy even though the Dr cleared her for going back to work. I texted both of them if they wanted anything from DQ cause I was stopping by there before home. Not..a...word from them, I thought ok maybe they're busy I'll get their favorites. Came home with 3 frozen items in my hand and I knew right away from the door swinging … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?Before the note when she left may 17th, none whatsoever. No discussion about her feelings, maybe with her single friends but none with the person she's living with who was me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 04:33 PM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?20+ yrs, would've been 21 this oct. Her mind changed around covid cause I found a bank card with a different bank on it that was good thru 2020. But she doesn't think I know about it, prove for the lawyer if he needs it | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 04:21 PM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?I've talked to 2 women at work about this- one's divorced and one still married and they both said that a woman's brain chemistry very much changes after mid 40s. She just turned 51 in June. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 02:25 PM |
| 0 | I'm so....lostSince you both had sex while drunk, I hope a condom was involved or it could be a messy 18yrs of child support court obligations coming your way if it's proven that you're the father of the child with her. As for your other children you really have with her, it could be argued that she'll be needing full custody and support for them since you're out of town for work- though work makes you on no fault of your own. I would get copies of her phone records if you're the primary of the phone account … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 10:48 AM |
| 1 | Anybody ever just leave and not look back?Mine did, but we had dogs. Read my comment to SpiritedPeace4062 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 10:33 AM |
| 2 | Anybody ever just leave and not look back?Mine too, no kids. But we had dogs that we had together while married (still going thru divorce process) that had passed and kept their remains in separate boxes, she took those when she left. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 10:31 AM |
| 1 | Just Wondering - Were you warned about Divorce?No to the warning of divorce, she just left mid May '24 and a note telling me that she will be consulting a lawyer. Who just happens to be a criminal lawyer but is in court 90% of the time on criminal cases, very small divorce court time. I found this out from my attorney when I was served about 10 weeks later, by a process server with divorce papers from her. Expecting the papers? Yes but I thought it would be a very long separation and talking before the divorce papers would be filed and given… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 10:22 AM |
| 2 | New twist in my case.Find out the timeframe for "abandonment" is in your state, if that time is the timeframe on how long she wants to be separated and that is also the timeframe for filing divorce due to abandonment. Then file for that. Who's living in the house? You I hope cause I think that'll make your reasoning for filing be a whole lot better. I'm not a lawyer but I'd go talk to one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 05:26 PM |
| 3 | Just got the papersI was given mine a month ago by a stranger, guess she didn't want to pull the trigger herself. Open the envelope and see if there's anything you own yourself, not jointly, that she's trying to grab from you. And if you haven't gotten an attorney yet- Do not pass go and collect the $200, go get an attorney now. If you have one then share the papers with them. That way you can discuss if there's anything she's trying to grab that you want to keep. And if you have kids then very much you definitely… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 05:48 PM |
| 2 | She's banging someone elseStupid and in love. Plus her leaving mid May without any discussion or talking about how she was feeling before she did it kinda showed me what kind of person she was. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 02:59 PM |
| 32 | She's banging someone elseBefore I met my wife, she was the other woman who cheated with a married man. She admitted to being it after we got engaged. And while we've been separated I've seen (cause I was the head of the phone account) 700+ msgs go to a single phone number (who I know is not a relative) in a month. I realized then that on just those msgs alone, that she's not worth fighting for and that I'll be happier without her in my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/24 09:44 AM |
| 1 | 20 years of marriage suddenly ending. I thought we were ok. Anyone been through this? Two kids. Feel like my life is over.You have to think that you'll get your life back but from now on it won't involve your wife unless it's meeting her to hand off the kids if they're still young enough to live at home. Be there for your daughters, make them the priority in your life right now. I'm still going thru the process of divorce, I thought that mine would be a temp separation (after 20+ yrs of marriage) when I came home to an almost empty house mid May until I was served divorce papers 10 weeks later. Get to a therapist t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 08:53 PM |
| 5 | Where my mind is at right nowGreat words, and my divorce hasn't been finalized either. I didn't ask for it nor was there any talking about it before she left. I was in the same area of grief when she left and I too blame each other on the collapse of our marriage but I blame her more for not talking about how she felt before leaving. Whoever she meets or have met when we seperated, I hope that they see her true side before starting any kind of serious relationship with her. And when the divorce is final, I'll be that guy li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 04:04 PM |
| 2 | Would it make me bad?Leaving the courthouse like outside in the parking lot not right outside the courtroom, I'm not that stupid....my stbx is by leaving and not discussing how she was feeling. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 06:57 PM |
| 2 | Would it make me bad?I suggest playing that one when you get in your car | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Would it make me bad?She's lucky that my reaction when she left and moved out 15 weeks ago was not hold a fire "sale" of her stuff outside in the backyard cause I was shocked and angry cause there was no discussion, just a note. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:38 PM |
| 2 | Would it make me bad?I'm still in the house and she'll be over this Monday to pick up items she wants to pick up before we put the house up for sale sometime this fall. I'm planning on moving into an apartment in the next 2 weeks. After 23 years together and 20+ yrs of marriage, I'm probably not the only guy here who thought he'd be single again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:23 PM |
| 1 | I'm so tiredGet to a therapist, get to the gym, the worse part is that you have kids who have to live thru this. But they're are old enough to be made very much aware what divorce looks like, even though it sucks. Ask your sons how they really feel and if they want you to leave, she could be putting words in your sons mouths without them knowing what she's saying. Keep being there for your sons. My stbx kept making excuses "I have to work late, I won't be eating when I get home, I'm meeting so and so for di… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 03:47 AM |
| 1 | Ever hear of a divorce couple splitting a duplex and each living on one side?I would sell your half if possible, too high of a chance of seeing her and she might get vindictive and come in when your not home and possibly thrashing the place plus how thin are the walls? | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 11:55 PM |
| 1 | Just got the divorce papers sent to me. Really is hitting hard. How to cope?What @Heavy-bench-5378 said is what I totally agree with, I was served a month ago after a fast 2 month separation. Lawyer, therapy, family, friends and even more surprising is co-workers, there might be a few like I have that have gone thru the exact same thing....divorce. Oh and go excercise cause that is what the therapist will recommend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/08/24 11:51 PM |
| -1 | Letting goJust take that feeling of love you were going to have for your ex and bestow on to your daughter from now on, but not in a creepy kind of way that will get you on a list. You'll realize that after time the only good thing to come out of your relationship with your ex is your daughter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 02:59 PM |
| 1 | I Understand why more men are homelessDon't know, don't care. I'm living my own life right now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 03:44 AM |
| 1 | Stuck at home and losing my mind.If you pass the bar, don't defend her in any future cases that she's involved in as defendant. Be the man you want to be, and record all the times she's come home wasted to serve as evidence in why you're filing for divorce. If you know that she's out drinking, driving and drugging....tip the cops off. You'll know that in jail, she'll be safe, will get clean, and that you'll be literally be sleeping better knowing this cause you'll have the place to yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 03:30 AM |
| 2 | Struggling hard today in the early phasesThe only thing I can offer as advice is start collecting emails and texts of what she's been saying, check if your state allows only one person to be aware that the phone calls are being recorded or you might get in trouble. Try and get yourself in front of the judge very quickly with the proof of all the lies and half truths that she's been saying to you and about you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 03:21 AM |
| 1 | Mortgage options?Do you co-own the house with her? If so get ready for some math to make your head spin. I co-own a almost 900 sq ft 2 bed 2 bath house sitting on .1 acre lot with my stbx, I was served the papers for divorce after 20+ yrs of marriage last month. We still owe about $85K after buying the house 18yrs ago, house value is now $332K. So if I wanted to buy her off with a loan to get her name off the mortgage, I would have to get a loan for $208.5K ( $332K - $85K (paying the loan off)= $247K÷2= $123.5K … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/24 03:09 AM |
| 5 | Today’s my bday.Happy bday. The last few years of my marriage, she didn't say happy bday with cake and presents like she did before serving me divorce papers last month. Try to get together with friends this holiday season or try to get some before the holiday. Hopefully you at least a "Happy Bday" from family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 09:25 PM |
| 8 | When do I stop wearing my ringIn my 20+ years of wearing it, I never took it off. But 2 months after she left, I tossed mine on the bathroom counter. Sure it felt like I'm missing something on my hand, cause I'd rub it with my left thumb while driving. And I still catch myself doing it now but unfortunately if there's no hope of her coming back, you have to mentally and physically take it off to move forward.And even when it's off, keep moving forward. I don't know the circumstances on why she left and you may never will, bu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/24 01:14 PM |
| 3 | Rant, cry for helpI'm going thru a divorce right now but all I can say is get a lawyer, keep talking to the therapist and ask if they know of any local support groups for you, work out when you can, stay away from alcohol, keep yourself sober for the sake of your kids, and just do what I'm doing- taking it one day at a time. And Be a winner for your kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 01:17 PM |
| 1 | Question (Home Equity)I'm going thru the same thing but with no kids. I'm still living in the house that she left 2+ mos ago, and I want the realtor, I've been talking to, to talk to my stbx but my stbx says that she's got a meeting with a friend/realtor to sell it. Prelim divorce papers say "both must agree on realtor". Plus I've got 20+ years of memories in that place, I feel like it'd be haunting. So make sure if you do sell it, that your stbx is onboard with the realtor who's been chosen or you might be fighting … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 05:18 PM |
| 3 | What are some if the red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you missed?I didn't see any in the beginning but I saw a lot at the end- her transferring $ out of our joint account for herself, working late, not wanting to be included when I was thinking of making plans for trips together, wiping her mouth after kissing her and she didn't think I saw, excessive texts right now to one person during separation (773 texts to the same number on 22 days), her claiming that the phone account is under her name when hard fact is it's in my name (How else are we getting a milit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 02:58 PM |
| 1 | What do to do?For winning? WA Cause they don't publish your name. ID does publish after winning. Her cheating? Maybe MT or ID. Don't know cause she didn't say what state she was living on at the time she did it before I met her | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 08:37 PM |
| 3 | What do to do?Forgot to add that she mentioned that she was the other woman in a married relationship where the wife didn't know until it was too late, so I guess that cheaters never change. I hope I win the lottery the next day that the divorce is final. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 06:00 PM |
| 4 | What do to do?Ok thanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 05:54 PM |
| 1 | What do to do?Idaho and no kids but other person has a WA 509 number | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 05:53 PM |
| 21 | Guys, the peace of mind and silence is truly worth itI think my stbx found fault that I was breathing the same air as her | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 05:14 PM |
| 3 | Just got servedStill unexpected so fast, I was maybe expecting it like a long while down the road. Now I've got to be quick and come up with attorney fee, might have to do a second weekend job. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 01:43 PM |
| 3 | Just got served20+ yrs, would've been 21 in Oct. And no "I'm feeling like this" to me, maybe to her friends and family. I've talked with 2 female co-workers who have gone thru the same thing divorce wise. And they mention that after they were going thru menopause, that they noticed that their feelings, emotions and brain chemistry changed alot during that time. I think it's too late for her to come back with "I made a mistake, I don't know why I left. Can you take me back?". To which if we're in a public place… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 01:02 PM |
| 3 | Just got servedBeen in therapy since June 8th. Idaho. No kids between us. No DV involved except for her stomping on my heart on May 17th when I came home to a almost empty house and a note. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/24 02:35 AM |
| 9 | Officially divorced…My wife did the same thing mid May '24, I felt numb the first 2 weeks cause there was no words on "I'm leaving you", just Blam- almost all of her stuff gone. I guess you can say we're in separation but look forward to enjoying single life where no one ties you down to stuff in life. That's what I've been doing- and I've have several people notice I'm more upbeat and more positive outward even though I'm a introvert. Just keep looking forward and do the things YOU want to do or wanted to try whil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 06:24 PM |
| 2 | Litmus test/Phil CollinsI've thought of that song 2 mos ago when she left me. But I'm starting to live my own life without her and another great Phil Collins song (We Said Hello Goodbye) is what I heard one day when I started doing my own things. https://youtube.com/watch?v=RHRJ5dGYynk | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/24 11:15 PM |
| 3 | First time posting, I need animal help.Try to find better homes for them besides your Ex's living situation | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/24 08:01 PM |
| 4 | Do you wish her happy birthday?Wife left me May 17th this year after 20+ yrs of marriage. No talking about it, she just did it and left me a note with no explanation why. Just saying don't contact her. Her bday was June 9th, so no I didn't wish her in any form a happy bday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 03:14 PM |
| 1 | Did you ex change her name back and if so did that bother you? Because it did for me.When she left- packed her stuff 2 months ago I came home to a almost empty house after 20+ yrs of marriage. She filled out a change of address slip, I found the charge for it on our bank account one day after she left. A piece of mail from Fred Meyer aka Kroger came for her like 2 weeks after the address change and it had her maiden name on it, she always had mail with her married name on it from Fred Meyer come to our house but not that time. It hurt at first but that told me for sure, that she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 03:18 PM |
| 2 | Who initiated the separation/divorce? You or the wife?She left after 20+ yrs of marriage, 2 months ago. No contact since. As they say "I hope you find out the grass isn't always greener on the other side", cause I'm not taking her back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/24 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Need some perspective on my situationIf you've got a basement, move the remote work that you do there or set it up in your bedroom as a way of not being her but still being there for the kids cause the kids do know what's going on between you 2. Start a off to the side savings account for yourself. Keep up the therapy that's working for you. As for the thinking of the guilt and failure part, maybe you had a hand in the failed marriage part but remember she did too. I say this to where I've also been married 20+ yrs (no kids) but 6 … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/24 10:53 PM |
| 1 | Please tell me it gets better. I’m super low right now.I meant make white noise, not male | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/24 12:47 AM |
| 3 | Please tell me it gets better. I’m super low right now.Quit the drinking- save your $$ to spend on your kids and making a better life for yourself. Hit the gym so much that the regulars who come in to work out think you work there. Go to a therapist, meditation not medication, and get a fan to male white noise to help you sleep. It can help you cool down at the same time. I'm a month in to a separation where she left and took almost all her stuff out of our house. No contact since. Just work on yourself positively for your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 11:07 PM |
| 1 | bad credit, no job.. but little money in bank.. how to move out?Look at getting hire by temp agencies who will hire you to work at possible temp to hire positions. That might help. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/24 02:24 AM |
| 1 | Divorce 🎁 presents for yourself?Got a new for me vehicle that I've nicknamed the beast. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/24 11:03 AM |
| 1 | Wife (F30) leaves me (M30) 6 months after marriage, where do you start?My wife left me on May 17th after 20.5 years of marriage, no arguments leading up to it or words expressing to me how she felt (maybe to her family and friends but not me), just a note on saying "The time has come for us to part ways. We both deserve to move forward and find what brings us joy." And to not contact her. The only time I've contacted her is to ask her thru text for the code to enter our mortgage account to pay it for the month. I've felt sadness and anger about how and why. I sugge… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/24 10:44 AM |
| 2 | Advice pleaseTalk to him, ask him about what he's feeling. Have you met his kids in social situations or by other ways as in at his place? Divorce was probably hell for him and he probably wants you there to be support for him, but don't be afraid to ask questions but do it in a loving manner. I believe if my wife had talked to me about how she was feeling instead of pulling away, she wouldn't have left me after 20+ years of marriage. I know that I'll probably go thru hell also with the divorce process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/24 03:01 PM |
| 8 | Wife is leaving meGet to a therapist, work out during the day if you can. Use your work insurance benefits to find that therapist. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/24 02:19 AM |
| 4 | The idea of dating again disgusts me… 2 yrs post/divorceI agree with Magia-Erebea- focus on yourself. You don't have to date if you don't feel like it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 02:59 PM |
| 1 | After your separation, what new habit or routine did you adopt?Probiotics and aspirin cause I'm old (54M), Pandora for 80s music and Dateline Podcasts, when it rains outside walking on a treadmill at Planet Fitness (Black card for when I travel to other cities with a Planet Fitness), and walking in the woods or around the neighborhood when it's nice outside. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/24 02:53 PM |
| 1 | It's been a tough couple days.I'm almost in the same boat- after 20+ years of marriage she left me and moved her stuff out of the house 2+ weeks ago. What I've done so far is consult with a lawyer in my state, and will consult with a therapist because I've had the same thoughts- depression, "where did it go wrong", etc. I can't say what might help you cause we'll all different but speak about it with family if you can, go do things that will make you happy-. I've gone on walks, exercising at home, gone to garage sales to get… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/24 02:58 PM |
| 1 | Sleeping at nightI suggest exercise also. My wife (no kids between us) moved out 2 weeks ago, so I have an idea of what you're going thru. I suggest also talking with people who know what's currently going on in your life- friends, family, etc. Maybe even look into talking to someone professionally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 05:23 AM |
| 8 | Last Night In The HouseHome is what you make of it, a house is just a thing even if past memories are there. Make your new place the best damn place for your kids while they are with you. Make the future best for you, your dog and your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/24 05:01 AM |
| 1 | Shitty way to bring up divorce.I'm going thru almost the same thing but with no kids and we live in the same town- she moved her stuff out while I was at work one day. I recommend seeing a therapist while you still have the military benefits to help you, maybe check to see if the benefits can help with a good divorce lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/24 12:02 AM |
| 4 | Wife left meUpdate: I've consulted with an attorney (Atty) and they've given me a list of mediators in my town to setup an appt. They recommended getting it, cause even meeting with a mediator will be months down the road. Atty said not to do any changes to passwords and such cause that could change the dynamic on how I could pay for an Atty. State I live in is a 50/50 state meaning all of her $ that she put in for retirement and IRA's would be grouped together and my retirement and IRA's would be then adde… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/24 02:42 AM |
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