LTR moving in with male friend roommate, how do you react?

Supersubie · 2018-06-18T15:42:26+00:00

I've experienced a similar situation with an old LTR in the past. It's a difficult one, you cannot under any circumstances let her know this worries you as she'll lose respect and ultimately make him seem like more of a worthy prospect than he actually is.

This is a make or break deal for me. A girl worthy of being in a LTR understands that it isn't respectful to foster such a close relationship with another guy outside of the LTR. When you enter into a more formal arrangement like the two of you have, your actions have consequences for your partner. She must understand she has the responsibility now not to cause her boyfriend mental distress with her actions. If she is she's being a shit partner. Put the shoe on the other foot, you sure as shit know that if you moved in with a girl after the LTR began she would be giving you crap about it all day long. She would feel threatened by that situation. Girls arnt stupid she knows this is going to cause problems.

I handled my ex trying to move in with a random guy from spareroom after her flat share with a few other girls fell through pretty well I feel. You can't directly confront her about it, you cannot overtly communicate your feelings here. When my ex brought up the idea of moving in with a random guy I laughed it off and told her she is free to do what she wants but I don't date girls that live with other guys. I then followed that up with getting on with my own shit and withdrawing attention. Her house move if brought up in conversation after that point garnered very little interest from me and another withdrawal of attention. She quickly got the right idea and miraculously found another group of girls to buddy up with (even though this was apparently an impossible task after the first group fell through)

Actions speak louder than words. I caught the situation with her early and managed to put it to bed. I fear yours maybe at a more advanced stage. I would say though it's a clear lack of respect and pushing at boundaries. You are clearly not feeling it and that's something to listen to. Act in your own best interest, don't get walked all over and be strong enough to walk away from a bad deal. You will find another girl she isn't unique that I promise you.

jaedgy · 2018-06-18T14:50:42+00:00

If the roomate is.... Billy Beta, then slight Concern Chad Thundercock, then next

room_303 · 2018-06-18T14:41:13+00:00

Sorry for the poor bastard whom has to meet Tom then Tyronne the same night and hear the party from his room.

The__Tren__Train · 2018-06-18T16:03:02+00:00

demote to plate and pursue other plates..

this shit really isn't that hard guys

AlexDD2 · 2018-06-18T14:33:04+00:00

Hopefully the friend is a beta orbiter. If he's an alpha then next her. Watch if her behavior changes or not. This needs more context.

Westernhagen · 2018-06-18T14:28:04+00:00

NEXT!

meme_poacher · 2018-06-18T14:57:20+00:00

If you have an established higher smv than her roommate then no need to worry. Regardless, watch her behavior .

jb_trp · 2018-06-18T16:39:26+00:00

Whether she realizes it or not, she's making a choice about her living situation which ultimately communicates to you that she's not serious LTR material. Downgrade to plate status.

throwitdownman · 2018-06-18T17:41:35+00:00

Wait, just as a pair? Flag. All women in LTR I know who had moved with male roommates, went in as a group never as a pair. Even the most feminist one would have enough awareness to drag another person in as a sign of ‘let’s just be friends’ / ‘implied boundaries’.

NorthWonder · 2018-06-18T14:35:53+00:00

Just broke up with LTR a few days ago (ex now). When I first met her she had male roommates, but she moved back with her mom shortly after meeting her (before she was LTR). In your case, moving in after a relationship with you is already established? HARD NEXT!!

bosshawg502 · 2018-06-18T15:22:34+00:00

Hardest next that you've ever nexted

quicklogaccount · 2018-06-18T16:39:27+00:00

Highly sensitive to the context, I'd need more details. The answer reaches from "hard next" to "you're worrying for no reason".

[deleted] · 2018-06-18T18:33:55+00:00

LTR, no more.

justicecantakeanap · 2018-06-18T15:38:17+00:00

Don't make a fuss about it, you will know when you should bail out

Zebleblic · 2018-06-18T14:47:05+00:00

That's super dangerous.

MattyAnon · 2018-06-18T18:15:12+00:00

Plan to move out. 90% chance she'll start to exercise control over him and you, and that likely means setting him against you, taking over the house, and plotting your eviction.

And communicate ZERO red pill knowledge. You've been warned.

Seriously, start moving out now. It'll be easier in the long run. You've got 3 months before it gets hard and 6 months before it gets untenable to live there.

[deleted] · 2018-06-18T16:30:54+00:00

Just let it be and observe. He may be not interested, for sake of rule don’t shit where you it.

[deleted] · 2018-06-18T16:33:15+00:00

Sounds like you are too broke or haven't known her long enough to be in an LTR

[deleted] · 2018-06-18T21:59:52+00:00

Girls aren't that important in life to worry about that.

Just next her, you'll forget her on the next one.

redpilledjoe · 2018-06-18T22:25:53+00:00

Demote to plate instantly. She's HARDCORE testing your resilience. If you are fine with this she will simply keep testing and trying to gain more power in the relationship

ramjaz · 2018-06-18T23:09:07+00:00

Unless the male friend is gay, then you better get out.

[deleted] · 2018-06-19T03:52:01+00:00

If it’s an LTR you want to keep just tell her no. Leave her if she does it anyway. Simple. She either respects the relationship enough to do the right thing, or she’s not worth a relationship with.

Title	LTR moving in with male friend roommate, how do you react?
Author	ZiiCNess
Upvotes	17
Comments	36
Date	June 18, 2018 2:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8rzvop/ltr_moving_in_with_male_friend_roommate_how_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-moving-in-with-male-friend-roommate-how-do-you.100374 https://theredarchive.com/post/100374

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