How do other men perceive your interest in the MRA?

akuta · 2012-12-28T20:06:27+00:00

So much so that I wanted to create a facebook page and disseminate information on what men. I specifically wanted to avoid pointing out the consequences of feminazism

First of all, using terms like "feminazism" is only going to hurt your cause. It's merely "name calling" and are you sure you want to lower yourself to that standard?

Secondly, your friend's response is a programmed response from the mentality of our society.-The same society that ignores the negative male stereotypes (and laughs at them, supports them and propagates them). The problem I have with his response:

Since when is standing up for your beliefs "weak?"
Do you want to work for a company that doesn't value an individual's self-worth and willingness to voice their opinions in a respectful manner (this goes back to that whole "remove the name calling" thing above)?
Any woman that doesn't want a man who pushes for equality is not a woman that I'd want to have as a partner. My SO supports the cause and is a member of the cause just as we are members of the egalitarian cause. All people should be free and treated equally. Period.

Of course, these are merely one person's (my own) opinion on the matter.

2012-12-28T21:57:14+00:00

My boyfriend doesn't care, not do most of my friends. One friend is always fascinated by my mens rights rants on the phone, but would never be a MRA. That about covers all the men in my life.... Well... The ones on r/feminism or r/Wherearethefeminists abhor my existence, but they don't count.

My favorite comment about me:

Argh. I just don't understand female mras. How does it happen? Come back to the fold unpronouncable_username and all will be forgiven! Forget about the menz, they don't need you!

Sadly, I was banned from r/WATF, so I couldn't reply :(

MechPlasma · 2012-12-28T20:33:19+00:00

What? You mean people don't think very highly of people they disagree with? SHOCKING!

Normally I'd be saying "Don't let stupid people get you down", but if you're still using words like "feminazism", then you probably shouldn't be doing this.

newSuperHuman · 2012-12-28T21:01:09+00:00

My girlfriend is a very level-headed woman and a temperance for MR based on some of her own anecdotal evidence (many of her positive male figures have been torn down by the law and societal pressures to side with "defenseless" women).

Even still, she sees me reading this subreddit and tells me to stop. She says things like "You're getting too deep into this, and when you're with our friends, sometimes you bring up really unpopular opinions that most people see as just plain wrong." It's like the harder I fight to prove my points rationally, the more I seem like an ideologue. The more I try to say "men have problems, too," the more I'm told "it's all in your head." Even in the case of my gf, who knows men do face injustices in our society, and nobody is willing to help them, she would rather I didn't fight to stop it until it's a direct problem for me (not an indirect problem of simply having a penis).

ExpendableOne · 2012-12-28T21:13:41+00:00

People who have heard from the men's rights movement probably have a lot of negative misconceptions and the people who have not heard of the movement will probably just think you're weak because "real men don't complain about inequality; they shut up, take it in silence and then treat women in a stereotypical way" or think you're a woman hater for not treating women in the exact way they feel entitled to be treated and catered to. If you aren't supporting the sexist status quo, you are an outsider and you will be treated as one. Best thing to do, I find, is keep your personal life and your activism separate. If you are to defend your beliefs and debate for equality/men's rights, at the very least do not do it under the guise of "MRA". Let people judge each of your arguments by their own merits, not by their misconceptions and personal projections(especially not when we live in a society that is still both heavily gynocentric and supportive of feminist fanaticism/extremism).

2012-12-28T22:39:16+00:00

I don't talk about MRA. I talk about inequity. I talk about statistics people already know, and ask them questions. I describe how the courts are biased against men.

When they're ready to hear the truth, they'll be receptive. For now, talking "Mens rights" would hit the triggers taught to them by feminist society.

rightsbot · 2012-12-28T19:30:18+00:00

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ThePigman · 2012-12-29T01:22:15+00:00

Unfortunately, your friend is right -- this is how MRAs are perceived by the unthinking masses. If you aren't the kind who can afford to not give a toss what the sheep think, it is probably best to keep your activities covert. Stick to working anonymously, mostly on the internet where anonymity is easier to maintain.

Mikhael_Varpole · 2012-12-28T23:59:39+00:00

Unfortunately, your friend isn't wrong, though he is misguided, of course. The SPLC exposé was a brutal "punch" and has resulted in much of the backlash; I believe it to be largely attributable to David Futrelle's dishonest rhetoric. I believe it will pass; perhaps the SPLC will see the error of their ways. Give it some years.

2012-12-29T02:03:21+00:00

those who have seen divorces, domestic violence cases, and abuse perpetrated by women are sympathetic. more sheltered men have no idea, so they default to the the assumption of universal male guilt and female victimhood.

emboarrocks · 2012-12-29T03:59:35+00:00

Usually laughter. They do not believe any statistics I tell them saying that they are made up and give me examples of abuse from third world countries on women.

roland3337 · 2012-12-28T23:30:20+00:00

I have two brothers. One of them is impressed at my courage in bringing these things up somewhat publicly, since he sees some of the same things. He's also quite supportive.Another brother is pretty OK with it all, with one caveat: What I say to him and what he hears are two different things. I am apolitical. He hears support for his own conservative agenda.

2012-12-28T23:31:15+00:00

Most people I have talked to about this in Denmark, are either sceptical until I bring out facts etc, or doesn't really care about gender specific issues, male or female. But I have never recieved hate for having an interest in MRA.

iongantas · 2012-12-28T23:49:15+00:00

Insofar as he is talking about other people's likely views, he is probably correct. It is up to you to decide how far you want to go. The only one of those that is really a concern to me is number 2, and I just don't really talk to anyone about it IRL. If the subject drifts in that direction, I would focus on equality and give examples for both sides, or balance examples already brought up in the conversation.

phySi0 · 2012-12-29T11:13:09+00:00

The early feminists faced those 3 problems too, didn't they? And look how far they came!

memymineown · 2012-12-28T21:47:06+00:00

If you don't frame it as Men's Rights and more as "here are some ways in which men are discriminated against" most people will be on your side. At least that has been my experience.

It is the feminists' and sexists' efforts to slander Men's Rights Activism which make people shy away from the name.

3legdog · 2012-12-31T22:03:21+00:00

Use Ian Ironwood's response "isn't it time to change your tampon?", and carry on with your life.

2012-12-28T21:39:34+00:00

To answer your question, they begrudgingly acknowledge that I have a point then make an effort to put it out of their minds.

Social stigma is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

starkhalo · 2012-12-28T20:11:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-12-29T02:03:53+00:00

You made the facebook page to express your views and he merely expressed his views, I don't see the issue? Boohoo his views didn't match yours?

Title	How do other men perceive your interest in the MRA?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	45
Date	December 28, 2012 7:28 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15l3xy/how_do_other_men_perceive_your_interest_in_the_mra/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-other-men-perceive-your-interest-in-the-mra.1005574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1005574

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