Excerpt from this blog post:

A guy and a girl get on at a tube stop close to my house. The girl sits next to me and the guy sort of looks at her, at me, and then hesitantly sits across from me. I mistakenly thought they were together and that they wanted to sit next to each other. So I said to the guy:

Me: ‘Hey buddy, you sit here, I’ll swap places, you can sit with each other’

Guy: ‘Ha ha. Thanks. But we’re not together’.

Me: ‘Hahaha. I do apologise. God, I”m sorry, I thought you were together, you sort of walked on like you were really good friends’.

You would have thought that would have been the end of it, but for whatever reason the girl then said to me:

Girl: ‘Why don’t you go and fuck some shit. I have had a bad night and I don’t want you and your dirty shit in my face’.

Me: ‘Is that a quote from an Audrey Hepburn film’.

A few people smirked. The girl stormed off. Feminism in action. A Spice Girl. A woman who is ‘confident’ and ‘knows what she wants’.

For about 5 minutes myself and the rest of the carriage, the ice now broken, all end up talking to each other and the conversation hinges much around how women these days are often drunk, aggressive and unattractive in their manner. There is an older lady nearby and I see her gravely nodding at some of the points.

My tube pulled up at my stop and I got off and then out of nowhere the girl ran up to me on the platform and shouted in my face….

Girl: ‘I’ll have you know I am better educated than you. I went to Oxford’.

Me: Hands in pockets to demonstrate absolute non threat to anyone watching. ‘I’m not interested. You’re being drunk and aggressive and I just don’t want to know you’.

Girl: ‘You’d be lucky to even get near me. You’re nothing, I’m better than you’.

Me: ‘I hear you. I’d like to stay away from you. You’re aggressive and I don’t like it. Please leave me alone’.

Girl: ‘STAY AWAY FROM ME, STAY AWAY FROM ME’.

She stormed ahead of me and ran up to the first official looking man she could see. Some tube workers in ‘High Vis’ vests.

Girl: ‘That guy there just attacked me on the platform, get him arrested. Get him. HE’S JUST ATTACKED ME’.

I carried on walking slowly out of the tube station. Hands in pockets. Deliberate in all movements and very calm. I am just lucky that the guys weren’t Police or London Underground station staff, but Polish lads working on the Northern Line. They just look at her blankly as she tried to get them to arrest me or attack me. She realized they weren’t interested and ran out of the tube station, maybe to look for a policeman, I don’t know.

She seemed perfectly happy to lie in order to get me in as much serious trouble as possible to make her feel better for her nose being put out of joint.