The toilet seat: What is the perfect counter-arguement for why it should stay down?

bruce656 · 2012-11-21T16:59:37+00:00

Had this conversation with my ex from a few years ago:

Her: "You left the seat up again! Go put it down!"

Me: "Honey, when we first started dating, I thought you were this strong, independent woman. But, I guess if you need a man to come and put the seat down for you, I'd say its damned irresponsible of me to even consider letting you out of the house."

We never had the conversation again, and I heard her putting the seat down many times after that without so much as a peep.

HapHapperblab · 2012-11-21T18:45:48+00:00

This is a moot point. Science concluded years ago that when a toilet is flushed some of the contents of that toilet is aerosolized and released into the air before coming to rest on the majority of the surfaces in that room. Therefore to create a truly hygienic bathroom the toilet seat AND lid should always be closed prior to flushing.

So fuck this stupid old argument. If you don't want to be a filthy fuck close the damn thing before you flush it. And that goes for everyone.

JonLR · 2012-11-21T16:57:43+00:00

I don't see what the big deal is, it takes half a second to put it up or down.

I don't understand people who sit on things without glancing first. Couch, chair, stool, toilet, you should always be checking out what you're going to be sitting on. Do these people walk backwards into the bathroom and just plop themselves down wherever?

Hypersapien · 2012-11-21T17:14:04+00:00

I am fortunate to not have this problem, as my live-in SO and I use two different bathrooms.

We keep the seat and lid down in both because we have a cat.

bruce656 · 2012-11-21T16:40:53+00:00

ugh, just put the seat down and close the lid so stuff doesnt fall into it. crissakes.

TheDemonClown · 2012-11-22T12:12:54+00:00

Men put it up, women put it down - that way, everyone suffers. EQUALITY, BITCHES.

SCCROW · 2012-11-26T17:20:56+00:00

I just pee all over the toilet seat, and tell any woman who complains that it is her fault for leaving it down.

2012-11-21T16:44:47+00:00

I put it however I damn well please and don't hang out with anyone petty enough to attempt to argue about toilet seat placement. Women need it down, they prefer men don't pee all over it. They ought to be thankful it's up. Means the seat is dry.

2012-11-21T17:15:30+00:00

This isn't really relevant to anything here. It's kind of funny but not relevant.

bruce656 · 2012-11-21T16:50:01+00:00

This is not an MR issue. It is irrelevant to anything.

2012-11-21T19:14:25+00:00

EVERYONE put the seat AND lid down, every single time?

This is how it goes in my house. It was the norm when I was growing up as well.

dinky_hawker · 2012-11-21T19:43:18+00:00

the default LID position is CLOSED, to keep all of the poop spray inside of the bowl during a flush.

it's not about gender equality. it's about not wanting pooasol (aerosolized poop) to make it to my toothbrush

MechPlasma · 2012-11-21T16:46:40+00:00

Tell her to stop being such a seat-ist. All seats should be considered equal, regardless of whether they are up or down. There is no position that a seat "belongs" in.

Then get serious and tell her to stop acting like a spoiled child.

Edit: you could try argue that moving the toilet seat after you're done means that it'll be moved more often than otherwise, so you'd just be making more work this way. ...except I don't expect her to care.

QueSeraSerape · 2012-11-21T20:08:00+00:00

This might be better suited for /r/mensrants.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-11-21T22:21:03+00:00

This conversation boils down to a matter of who is expected to make particular sacrifices for the sake of courtesy, who deserves that courtesy, and whether how the seat is most frequently used has an impact on those questions.

Essentially, the sacrifices are time, attention, effort, and handling something dirty, as moving the seat from one position to another entails all of those things.

The question is who should be expected to make those sacrifices, and why.

The why is addressed on the basis of whether the "natural" position of the seat should be the position in which it is most frequently used (100% of the time by one sex, plus a percentage of the time by the opposite sex, unless you stand up to take a shit) or whether the "natural" position of the seat should be in the position which accommodates standing urination.

The answer is based in which position is considered to be a changed environment, and why lifting the lid is necessary in the first place. That the seat is most often used down is a reasonable argument; if you count bathroom functions individually by sex, then between men and women, 3/4 of the types of functions involve using the toilet with the seat down. Further, I happen to know men who don't have to put the seat up to pee, so placing the seat up is really an accommodation of one's inability to pee without splattering or missing the target. If you are lifting the lid, it's because you splatter (not a criticism - that's fairly common, hence the frequency of this argument.) Is it reasonable for you to leave something you splattered on in a position that requires others to handle it?

Regardless of the fact that it is the way you urinate all the time, in taking into account all uses of the toilet in a coed environment, your manner of urination is in the minority. Therefore, having the seat up is a change of position from that which is the norm. This turns the nature of the discussion from the supposition that she's asking you to accommodate her by putting it down to you asking her to accommodate you by expecting it to be up. Returning it to the down position is the same as putting an item back in its location of storage after you use it. Leaving it up is like leaving an item sitting where you last used it. Would you do this with the milk from the 'fridge? If not, why is it okay to do it with the toilet seat?

While I generally support men's positions on other issues, I consider this one to be an instance of petty bickering. Bathroom courtesy is not limited to the position of the seat. I could as easily argue that I should not be expected to wrap my sanitary napkins and tampons prior to disposal, even though the sight and smell of a bloody rag is distasteful. After all, it isn't as if anyone who doesn't want to see them can't just do it himself. Though the trash can's primary use is not limited to those items, and the members of my household who have no use for those items outnumber me (especially if I include my own use of it at other times,) asking me to accommodate their sensibilities by exerting extra effort to maintain tidiness in handling my hygiene products is turning a courtesy into an obligation. I am accustomed to the smell and sight. I deal with it 8 days a month. It does not bother me. What is the reason why I should tailor my bathroom habits to his sensibilities than he to mine?

Therein lies my answer. It does not matter whether changing the position of the seat requires an effort, or whether you consider the expectation of courtesy to others an obligation, or adhering to manners. What matters is whether you are inflicting upon your housemates an unnecessary and distasteful experience, and whether it is common in your household to tolerate that level of discourtesy in other areas. In other words, if you expect a standard of courtesy from others, you should also expect to be held to a standard of courtesy.

That said, women who make a big issue of it are being equally petty. Sometimes people just flat out forget to follow through on a minor thing. Once in a while, I forget to throw out the wrapper I removed from a sanitary napkin prior to use. When that happens, my husband simply puts it in the trash. He does not make a big production out of that. If he leaves the seat up, that's no different. I simply put it down - no big production. That doesn't mean leaving the seat up or leaving pad wrappers on the back of the toilet should be the norm. It simply means we expect each other to be human, and we accommodate that in each other just as we expect it from each other.

And last but not least... do you have your combs, brushes, and toothbrushes sitting out on your bathroom sink? Because if you do, you should read this.

elebrin · 2012-11-22T03:53:58+00:00

I always keep the lid down, even when I am totally alone. It keeps the smell down when you have old pipes, and it looks neater.

jund23 · 2012-11-22T14:01:03+00:00

I think it is simple, every person that uses the toilet should change its state one step, once they have finished. That way everyone ~~wins~~ loses

If a girl uses the toilet she should lift it up when she leaves, and when boys use it they should put it down when they leave (or lift it up if they have sat down to do their do)

bunnycow · 2012-11-21T21:04:06+00:00

Close Both Kids. It's cleaner atmospherically speakinf when you flush.

rykocolor · 2012-11-21T20:54:30+00:00

1 man 1 woman using one bathroom: 75% of possible bathroom usages require sitting. Put the seat down.

Downvotes? I don't get why...

Women sits down for #1 & #2 Man sits down for #2, stands for #1 75% of possibilities require the seat to be down (for most of us anyways)

Why downvoted for that? Isn't that the most logical solution?

rightsbot · 2012-11-21T16:40:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

circuitology · 2012-11-21T19:30:38+00:00

"If I have to put it up and down, I have to touch it twice. And this in order to have you, my equal, not touch it at all. Perhaps we could both touch it once, rather than my being inconvenienced twice, firstly by the seat being down, when I need it to be up (where are your manners?), and again by being told to put it back down. Well how about when you put it down, you put it back up again, so it's ready for when I need to use it? How about that? Equality, bitch."

fuckingredditorsbro · 2012-11-23T04:13:32+00:00

If I go to someone else's house, I do as they ask. My house has no rules. Up or down; it doesn't matter. It's not like it takes a lot of work...

Title	The toilet seat: What is the perfect counter-arguement for why it should stay down?
Author	bruce656
Upvotes	0
Comments	54
Date	November 21, 2012 4:39 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13klos/the_toilet_seat_what_is_the_perfect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-toilet-seat-what-is-the-perfect-counter.1008669 https://theredarchive.com/post/1008669

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