How screwed am I if I divorce my wife?

BinaryShadow · 2012-01-29T07:48:41+00:00

Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer

No one can help you but a lawyer.

The good news is you are divorcing her. You have the initiative. So plan ahead.

How long have you been married?

devnull989 · 2012-01-29T07:52:31+00:00

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eatallthecrayons · 2012-01-29T14:18:30+00:00

What is she studying? Are there no jobs in that field? Does she have a realistic plan that will lead to finding work? If it's a dead end field, than she is either delusional or dishonest.

Demonspawn · 2012-01-29T07:27:50+00:00

It appears that Maryland does not require a minimum duration of marriage before allowing alimony. You might need to move before the divorce. Also, in some States student loan debt is "community debt" rather than one party's. Couldn't find if MA was like that or not with a quick google. If so, you want to get the divorce started before she enrolls.

As always: ask a lawyer, we are not legal advice.

But here's something I wonder: She wants kids, yet she is going for her Masters? Why? Just to generate debt that you'll have to pay back as you support her and the kids?

enkidusfriend · 2012-01-29T13:00:00+00:00

Well I am curious - you have been married 2 years and you want to divorce her because she isn't ambitious? What you're saying is that all love is lost now - because of money? Or is there more to it?

zenmushroom · 2012-01-29T17:25:48+00:00

Okay. Seeing financial side of the situation, but how are things in the emotional department?

You've only been married three years, so chances are slim that you'll have to pay her any major alimony money.

And - in some rare twist of horrible luck - if you do have to pay her alimony, it'll still be cheaper than the cost of supporting her and kids many years down the road if you stay married.

chavelah · 2012-01-29T13:49:44+00:00

If you don't want to have shared assets, you're sure that she wants to be a SAHM, and you're sure that you don't want to be a sole breadwinner, then you two just don't want the same things. Thank God you don't have kids. Whatever this ends up costing (even half a house) is CHEAP compared to what it would cost you financially and emotionally if you had kids together.

Go see a lawyer, don't knock her up, and don't have any screaming fights. Move out if you want to - because there are no kids, you'll wind up getting half the value of the house, just as though you had stayed.

There is no point raging about this to your wife. (Rage here all you want.) She has wasted fertile years on you, she'll be angry that you're ending the marriage, and she will ask the court for exactly what her lawyer tells her she can get. Most people would.

2012-01-29T16:29:42+00:00

It's going to cost you. If not in division of assets it will cost you in lawyers. Separate your bank accounts and save money for the divorce. Offer her the car and a chunk of cash that she could land on her feet.

That in mind it would be much much (much) worse if there were kids involved.

2012-01-29T09:52:18+00:00

I would be making sure you don't get her knocked up. Keep serious tabs on your sperm if you've decided to divorce her.

What you have written about the relationship seems 'off'... but as it seems like you've made up your mind about the divorce, it doesn't really matter. I'd not try wind her up if I were you... don't give her reason to become vindictive against you. I don't know what the laws are like where you are, but you don't want to do anything to make her feel like she's truly entitled to 'take you to the cleaners'.

Go see a lawyer, and again, keep your jism secure.

littleelf · 2012-01-29T16:27:41+00:00

Don't talk to just one lawyer. Talk to every lawyer. Have dinner, a meeting, a business lunch, with every half-competent lawyer in the state. Make sure no one can represent her without it being a conflict of interest.

pcarvious · 2012-01-29T07:28:07+00:00

Unless you can show major fault in the divorce you're probably going to lose a major chunk of your assets if she isn't working.

devnull989 · 2012-01-29T07:18:15+00:00

People will need to know your country/state to advise (alimony laws vary by state in the US, I believe). Was she working/earning before you were together?

(Generally, the longer you leave it, the more screwed you are.)

devnull989 · 2012-01-29T15:59:17+00:00

She's been talking about having kids? Well no kids, then! If you can't agree on some basic things why did you get married? I feel bad for you I honestly do. You do not love your wife although I don't know if she loves you.

I would say wear condoms for now and wait for her to complete and get a job and get on her feet. If she has her own income working full time I think it will be easier for you to make your case during divorce that she is self sufficient and does not need your money.

devnull989 · 2012-01-30T00:23:06+00:00

your best bet is to find the most bloodthirsty venomous lawyer you can. I mean someone so soulless they don't even have a reflection. and start laying the groundwork NOW. let your lawyer plan ahead as much as he/she thinks is necessary. it'll be a bloody uphill battle but hopefully by getting ready and filing first you wont get completely taken to the cleaners.

2012-01-30T00:47:22+00:00

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carchamp1 · 2012-01-30T02:21:26+00:00

devnull,

You've only been married for a couple years. Will you get hurt in the divorce. Sure. She will not take you for everything. Will it hurt worse in say another, say 15 years, when you'll owe her lifetime alimony, child support, and most of your property? OF COURSE.

GO SEE A LAWYER NOW AND GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!

I am speaking from considerable experience re: wives without ambition. She will not change. She wants you to take care of her for the rest of your life. She is the embodiment of the "ball-and-chain". YOU MUST GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!

(THE FOLLOWING IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE) I also have second-hand experience with Maryland divorces. I used to live there. You will get dinged a bit, BUT the longer you wait the worse it will be.

ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!

This is all coming from someone who was in your same position almost 20 years ago. My wife would REALLY take me for everything if we divorced at this point. You can't imagine the pain of being in a "marriage" like this. Save yourself!

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-01-29T12:38:03+00:00

Put all your money and the house in your parents name.

If she has an affair that's a benefit to you.

Or try talking to her about how you feel used.

Title	How screwed am I if I divorce my wife?
Author	devnull989
Upvotes	8
Comments	60
Date	January 29, 2012 7:14 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/p1hq9/how_screwed_am_i_if_i_divorce_my_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-screwed-am-i-if-i-divorce-my-wife.1028564 https://theredarchive.com/post/1028564

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