I foolishly thought that I would be able to influence his personality and determine his character. I now realise that I was completely delusional.

mdoddr · 2009-12-29T12:51:54+00:00

The kid got in trouble for pointing his fingers at other kids?

kanuk876 · 2009-12-29T14:15:43+00:00

There is so much more that influences a child than its mother(friends, teachers, other relatives, media, advertising, etc). Probably the most important one being role models he associates with, subconsciously or consciously. If he sees other men/boys all around him, being into trucks and swords, than he will also want to be into trucks and swords because that's what he'll think he should be into. Conformity is a powerful influence.

Varo · 2009-12-29T13:26:55+00:00

One depressed woman's failure to raise her son does not change my opinion on nature vs. nurture.

Most of what she experienced was backlash, anyway.

rmbarnes · 2009-12-29T16:19:23+00:00

When are people going to start realising that gender is more than just a social construct. Yes, society amplifies gender differences by having traditional female / male roles but there are big differences between the sexes. Women's brains are slightly different to men's (more developed in some areas, less developed in others). Men and women have very different hormone levels, and this massively influences behaviour.

Natural selection developed men and women for different purposes. To a certain extent we just need to mock this. There may be some nasty surprises in store for any movement which tries to androgynise (dont think this is a real word) the sexes.

rmbarnes · 2009-12-29T16:14:38+00:00

I was informed that he and his buddy, Zach, had been in trouble that day for inappropriate play. It seems they'd been using their thumbs and forefingers as pretend guns, pointing at the girls and yelling, "Bang! Bang!"

This fucking terrified me. When I was at school we all used to play world war, where we'd run around pretending to shoot at each other. If daycare is like this and I ever have a son, I'm going to have to be careful where I send him. Trouble is I'm guessing all these places are run by women and there is far to much estrogen floating around the place for it to be a good environment for boys.

Smight · 2009-12-29T21:50:39+00:00

My mom didn't let me play with (plastic or otherwise)guns when I was a boy. So instead I played with knives, locks, built traps and used strips of my hotwheels race tracks as swords.

Had to make up for simulated violence with the real thing.

linuxlass · 2009-12-29T16:50:41+00:00

My son was a high-energy baby. He loved building things with scraps, and was given a small saw when he was 2. He was given a cordless drill when he was 5. He loved taking things apart and "helping" me fix things.

He also loved soft things like stuffed animals and furry blankets and sparkly things with glitter or tinsel. Still does, at age 12. I gave him some pens with sparkly ink for his birthday and he thought they were pretty neat. He likes drawing and coloring with markers, but mostly geometric designs.

But he builds games with pygame that involve shooting enemies and robots, and booby traps, and wants to learn how to create rudimentary AI for the bad guys. He also spent a fair amount of time a couple of years ago trying to figure out how to make his own working bow and arrows. He loves playing Magic and Descent (the role-playing board game).

Raising a child in a gender-neutral way doesn't have to be about repressing "boy" things. What it does is allow the child's own nature to express itself, so you can then nurture it, and work to cull the excesses. My son has been a challenge to civilize (for various reasons, not just the "boy" behavior), but he is allowed to be who he is, sparkly ink and swordfights and all.

Fantasysage · 2009-12-29T16:46:39+00:00

Just look at her. Can't you see that smug cunt standing up at a PTA meeting and blurting some truly stupid shit. "My son came home the other day and said he learned to play soccer. You know what you do in soccer!? You kick a ball!!! This is clearly teaching nothing but aggressive behavior and must be banned immediately!"

shaolingod · 2009-12-29T12:02:07+00:00

of course.

AnnArchist · 2009-12-29T15:00:59+00:00

toys that I deemed inappropriate or too overtly boy-oriented would be quietly donated to my favourite charity shop, unless there was a risk that the giver would find out.

All this girl cares about is what her peer group thinks and nothing more.

I still clung to the belief that I would be able to raise a nonviolent child by banning toy weapons and even cartoon violence in videos.

What a moron. These are inanimate objects that she has banned, in sense making them forbidden fruit.

It seems they'd been using their thumbs and forefingers as pretend guns, pointing at the girls and yelling, "Bang! Bang!" I was gobsmacked.

That is neither inappropriate play nor is it anything to be concerned with at age 14months.

My protestations about not liking violence were met with exasperated cries of "it's just pretend, Mum". Eventually, I caved on the weapons ban and lightsabres and foam dart guns made their way into the toy box.

LOL while I am glad this child didn't have to grow up without a nerf bow and arrow, she fails to acknowledge that it really is, just pretend.

I just wish that I could take more credit for that.

Theres that ego again. . .

rmbarnes · 2009-12-29T16:24:08+00:00

I notice that you're not employing the services of a father. They perform a much more complex role than "provider" (sperm donor / maintainence payments &tc.).

Noticed this from the articles comments.

2009-12-29T14:51:27+00:00

I thought gender was proven to be an intrinsic characteristic 30 years ago?

zombiecyborghitler · 2009-12-29T14:30:09+00:00

What about the unmitigated detriment caused by his IDIOT mom.

Redfel · 2010-01-01T02:21:56+00:00

Wow, its almost as if humans aren't a blank slate! Who knew?

bluequail · 2010-01-01T18:52:35+00:00

Bill Cosby covered this in his routine. It was something to the effect of "you give a little girl two sticks, and they are going to be kissing each other. You give a little boy two sticks, and they are going to be fighting with each other".

DougDante · 2010-01-03T18:29:19+00:00

The boy apparently has no father - or one with any time with him which might influence his development in any way, or it would have been mentioned.

Title	I foolishly thought that I would be able to influence his personality and determine his character. I now realise that I was completely delusional.
Author	reyofish
Upvotes	27
Comments	23
Date	December 29, 2009 5:25 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ajeu5/i_foolishly_thought_that_i_would_be_able_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-foolishly-thought-that-i-would-be-able-to.1051409 https://theredarchive.com/post/1051409

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